Jessica Alba got booked to do a photoshoot, something she hasn’t really been asked to do for a while, you know since she committed career suicide by becoming a family woman thanks to an arrogance that came from all the constant re-affirmation, and she looks pissed. The paparazzi say it is because her stylist put her in some half naked outfit, an outfit her body probably can’t handle as well as she’d like it to, or as well as it used to and she proves that by walking around covered the fuck up like a fat chick at the waterpark, with a miserable looking face cuz she clearly didn’t win the fight. It’s a rat race out there and if you wanna make money, you gotta step the fuck up and strip the fuck down like the whore that you and your uterus are….

I’m loving these pictures, but that’s just because I love insecure girls, especially when they were the hot chick, like the time I slammed the captain of the high school cheerleading squad, 15 years after graduation, or what I like to call 15 years of getting fat, miserable, down on your luck, broke and pretty much as gutter as possible….but the whole time her sloppy tits slapped against her chin and I lost feeling from my waist down, I knew what she was and what she became and that kind of sad story will always be porn to me…

So here’s an angry Mom Alba bringing back the memories of what once was…..but she shouldn’t be so nervous and miserable…they are obviously gonna photoshop the shit out of her and the only people who have to see her stretch-maked ass and stomach are the poor fools on set….who I hope hate their jobs enough to leak the un-retouched pictures to me…

Posted in:Jessica Alba

Not only has this bitch pretty much killed her career and sex appeal while she was at her peak, but now, she’s not even trying to get the male attention that made her who she is and that helps her afford to pay her shitty fucking kid’s way. I don’t know what kind of message she’s trying to teach the kids, but it has a lot to do with giving up and putting no effort in whatsoever, hoping one day things will turn around, but when they don’t and she’s broke, she’ll always have the sex tape to fall back on, cuz even in 20 years we’d all watch that shit, even if we forget who Jessica Alba is, something I think is probably going to happen…at least that’s what this “on her period but wearing white pants anyway cuz at least it brings my boring life excitement now that I am lazy pig of a girl” outfit is screaming….

Either way, she’s playing with balls, not necessarily the balls you’d like to want to see, but I’m sure that day will come…you just gotta be patient and she’s gotta be desperate…it will happen…it always does…

Posted in:Jessica Alba

This cop is a fucking idiot….She is an actor. I can see past that “oops, I didn’t mean to” look….she’s working him like a fucking whore that she is trying to get what she wants and he’s just smitten that his menial bullshit job giving people tickets for talking on their cellphones finally had some purpose….all cuz he pulled over a celebrity, giving him a story to tell his wife who thinks he’s a fucking failure because the only reason he moved to LA wasn’t to be a cop, it just kinda happened after his attempt at an acting career failed him.

If I was in his place, I woulda gone for the blowjob, and sure a little ticket won’t give her the fear she needs to suck you off, so I’d also have to make up some crime that looks real serious, like maybe even hit her for murder, even if the victim was her career and sex appeal and the weapon was her pregnancy….give her the death penalty, even though I guess she kinda already gave that to herself…

Either way, here’s the only acting work she gets lately….

Posted in:Jessica Alba

Here is Jessica Alba looking old and washed up because she is old and washed up…you know since she had a kid and is a mom and shit that she should have waited a decade before doing, but instead decided to throw away whatever jobs she had lined up as the hottest bitch in Hollywood, to be replaced by all the other sluts eager to get noticed who don’t have kids, and she did it all to trap a motherfucker and the whole thing depresses me, but if you look at this shit cross-eyed after a few drinks she looks almost like she did 5 years ago when she mattered.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Jessica Alba

Just a heads up….I can’t testify that her pussy is still up to speed or even still a pussy after the baby, but the rest of her looks alright to me and that’s all that matters to me since I’m not trying to stick my dick in her gaping hole and not touching the vagina walls, I’m just looking at pictures of it clothed and that’s all I have to say about that….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Jessica Alba