Jessica Alba went on a romantic bike ride in Paris, you know since it is the city of love, alone. I hear she followed this up with a bottle of wine, some harsh cigarettes, because she’s cliche and alone, because Cash Warren took advantage of the opportunity to get the fuck away from her and stay back home to watch the baby, you know the one she trapped him into suckin’ up his unhappiness and doin’ the right thing by taking her back after he was so close the the escape he could almost taste the groupie whore pussy spread and dripping for him…before getting roped back in.
Here’s a picture of Jessica Alba showing off where Cash Warren came in her a few hours before she spat it out into a cup and hid it in the fridge until he passed out asleep and she artificially inseminated herself to get pregnant and trap the motherfucker for life. Good job.
Here’s the rest of her eating fruit for you people who get off on healthy eating like you were a couple fucking hippies backpacking Europe and just found the first vegan restaurant on the trip. I am not sure what that means, but it was stupid and I’m keeping it.
Here’s some Jessica Alba staged pictures of her and her kid playing and like she’s the love of her life, because of the negative press she’s recently got from me about how she wants nothing to do with her kid, not even breast feed it. Well I don’t buy this shit, you’re an actor and everything you do is a lie, a very bad actor and this is bullshit.
As soon as they got home she locked the kid in the soundproof room in the basement where she keeps him so he doesn’t bother her. She has some immigrant women care for him between days her and her publicist agree she should bring him out to light and pretend to be having the time of her fucking life being a “mom” photo opportunity.
I have this theory that Jessica Alba couldn’t deal with the rejection of being ditched by Cash Warren back when he escaped her crazy, so she tricked him into knocking her up. Whether she poked holes in the condom, or ran to find the used condom and inserted it inside out are details we’ll never know, but despite his efforts to no get her pregnant, he failed and she won.
The only issue is that now that the baby has come, it means a lot of fucking responsibility that this cunt wasn’t ready for so she pawned it off on her staff and mother and a couple of wet nurses and the proof of this theory are her deflated titties, there’s no way a milkin mom would be this flat unless she sprung a leak.
I know some of you are fans, so here are her pics from God knows where, but I assume something that has to do with Oscar because like an annoying relative visiting from out of town, they takeover Hollywood and don’t know how to fuck off.
Bonus – Here She Is Acknowledging the Paparazzi Because Her Life is Like a Fairy Tale…
Jessica Alba is on vacation and hiding her damaged mom body from the public. I assume she’s also hiding her mom vagina from Cash Warren not for fear of getting pregnant again at a time their family planning hadn’t planned for, but because she’s so exhausted from being kept up by the baby and all of its all hours of the night demands and by being exhausted from the baby, I mean from signing checks to her nanny staff who she’s pawned her baby off on cuz her lazy ass can’t be bothered. The fucking thing was a strategy or tool to lock her boyfriend who dumped her ass in because no one dumps Jessica Alba and this whole wanting to be fed, changed, loved, played with was not part of the fucking plan….
This isn’t the kind of happy ending 10 dollar Asian Massage I’m used to, but then again I can’t make out what’s going on below the waste. It’s very possible, if not probable that three asian women are servicing her baby maker with their forearms. It’s really the only way she can get any form of satisfaction now that Cash Warren’s penis doesn’t touch her vagina walls no matter how hard he tries…and god knows he tries.
I like Jessica Alba’s tattoo. If I was fuckin’ her from behind, I’d really like feeling like I was about to cum all over a 7 year old school girl’s hair. Or maybe she’s trying to do some Christmas present shit, you know where she figures if you’re dick’s inside her box, she might as well wrap it up and put a bow on top, in which case it’s a lot less exciting, because cumming on the outside of the present really isn’t as fun as cumming inside, especially if the present is for your asshole boss and is edible.
Either way, here is Alba in some staged mom pictures, when most girls get in bikinis to get attention, she tries her best to act like she likes the kid and doesn’t think it’s the biggest pain in the ass that only comes in handy for staged photoshoots with the paparazzi, to distract the public from a couple stupid statements she’s made the last couple days. You know, like she is actually a good, involved mom who doesn’t just pawn the kid off on her nannies and mom to take the burden off her shoulders. You know, she since she’s a piece of shit cunt like that.
Good morning everyone. Hope you’re enjoying your day so far.
Jessica Alba has always pissed me off for various reasons. Whether it was not getting naked in movies when I bought into the hype that she was one of the hottest bitch in Hollywood, or out getting knocked up to trap her boyfriend because she’s a broken little girl who has no friends, or acting like an annoying bitch acts when you’re having a fight with her, where she gives you the silent treatment and pretends your not there like you were 6 and on the fucking playground and no matter what you say, or how hard you try to get her to crack because you still want to fight, she stares blankly past you making you more pissed off so you punch the bitch in the jaw like you were Hayden Panettiere’s dad, and bitch still stares blankly past you, only a single tear runs down her cheek, making you more frustrated so you choke her out and as she gasps for air, she finally cracks, kicks you in the balls and calls the police, where you spend the next 24 hours getting fucked up by cocks for being a wife beater, when really you were just trying to get noticed. Only Alba does that shit to the paparazzi, walking around like they aren’t there and seeing that shit pisses me off, why can’t she just be fucking personable, you know considering her career and fans have done pretty good for her, instead of pulling this cunt behavior. Sure, she probably doesn’t have much of a personality or much to say, but just giving a smile or acknowledging the scum that is around her even if they are just trying to milk what she says for personal gain, would be the nice thing to do.
If I wanted to get her attention and I was a paparazzi, I would have just slandered her, you know say screaming obscenities about her vagina and what I would do to it, something like “Hey Alba, your pussy smells like shit, I think they left the placenta in, and I want to suck it our with a fucking straw, you like that you fucking whore, don’t you” or something that hits close to home like “Don’t ignore me bitch,this the kind of cold shoulder behavior is the reason I have some pictures and video of Cash Warren getting it on with a chick who isn’t you when you were at home with the baby, wanna see?”….not that I’d ever be a paparazzi or trying to get Alba’s attention, I’m just saying…..
I don’t really know if Alba’s mom is a slut, but I can assume she is, I mean she did breed Alba and by lookin like this, she can’t have much self esteem and definitely takes all she can get and now that she’s menopausal it means no condoms, I mean provided you can live with yourself after mounting this. Sure, it’s the womb that made the girl you are convinced you are married to, you know the one you photoshopped into pictures of yourself in some elaborate fantasy that has gone too far, it’s one of those get as close as you can get to your dreams situations, but by lookin’ at this, even the biggest Alba fan on his horniest virgin day would have to really focus to finish off the job…even if boxy, overweight, elderly bitches without their lady hormones is their thing. Either way, I think Menopause is the least of Alba’s mom’s concerns, I mean look at her, she’s a fucking monster and a probable glimpse into Alba’s future, and really every woman’s future…it’s some circle of life shit. Get ready for it.
BONUS – Here’s Alba’s Mom Slutting Out in a See Through Shirt…I Guess She’s Taken on the Roll (with extra butter and gravy) of Caring for Her Useless Spoiled Daughter’s Baby….All While Trying to Seduce Us….Slut….
Let’s hope next time around they cut the brake line…..but only if that works in causing serious enough car accidents that bitch disappears. I like when the guy I assume is Cash “Vagina Destroyer” Warren tries to muscle the paparazzi and gets shoved when he grabs at a camer and runs away with his tail between his legs like a little girl. I mean they break your car and when you try to tough guy them because you’re so fucking angry and can’t stomach the idea of sending your assistant to use 200 dollars of your millions of dollars to fix the shit, they shove you and make you run to your car and back to you cushy fuckin’ life, kinda like pouring salt on a wound and by pouring salt on a wound I mean prove you have a vagina. Good times.
