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Archive for the Paris Hilton Category

2007

20

Aug

I am – Paris Hitlon’s Academy Award Bathing Suit of the Day

4 Comments »

paris_hilton_bathing_suit8.jpg

Here are some pictures of Paris Hilton in some weird gold bathing suit or outfit at her Malibu Beach Party home reminding me of a Jewish grandmother on the beaches of Miami, not because I have ever been to Miami but because Jewish grandmother’s like to match their tacky outfits and they like to show false enthusiasm when they see babies…because they remember that their own kids ruined their bodies and they never really got over that….

I was emailed by a girl I once knew telling me that I make her pussy wet. I think she was trying to humor me because being the resident pervert, girls sometimes get a little crazy and like to share their craziness with me. It rarely happens, but it did this past weekend and I responded by saying that the only pussies I have ever made wet were all the pussies I ever came in contact with but as soon as the roofies wore off, the bitches dried up pretty quick and didn’t end there, they would always end up hurting me and press charges against me, leaving me fucked but always knowing to myself that I made their pussies wet even if they weren’t 100 percent there in spirit to enjoy my skill….

Either way, Paris and her ego probably think they deserve to be gold plated and that’s why she is doing it in her wardrobe choices. She loves herself so much that bitch thinks she’s a fucking trophy, the thing she tends to forget is that this trophy comes with a lot of fucking baggage, like herpes and there’s nothing fun about herpes except for maybe if your into playing connect the dots like Pee Wee Herman…Notice how bitch is getting fatter and fatter, I guess you could blame that Entourage motherfucker for filling her up with his cum, but I like to think that it’s cuz she emotionally eats herself to sleep everyday…


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Posted in:Ass|Bathing Suit|Paris Hilton|Tits|Unsorted

2007

06

Aug

I am – Paris Hilton Making Good on Her Word of the Day

1 Comment »

Paris Hilton

I was walking home at around 8am from the Coke party on Friday night and I stopped in at the grocery store to grab some juice or something, but ended up being way too high to even remember what I went in there for and just walked up and down the aisles hoping I would remember. That happens to me alot. I heard a bit of a commotion at the front of the store, so went up to check things out, cause I’m nosey like that. There was some old bum freaking out about one thing or another, and had the attention of the managers and the clerks, while his buddy was behind them filling his coat with whatever he could get his hands on. Brilliant.

This was going on for awhile, until finally the Manager noticed me just standing there staring at them all, and I snapped out of it, not sure how long I had even been there. I couldn’t remember why I went in there in the first place and it got really awkward really fast, so just decided to leave before they caught on to the scam. I don’t really steal, but I’m not about to knock anyone’s hustle either, and I thought it was pretty clever, so I didn’t want to blow their cover.

Here’s Paris, fresh from a hard days work at her local soup kitchen. I’m really glad she is making good on her promises to do make more of herself and life in general. Doing all that charity work at LA nightclubs and the beach must be pretty tiring. She should really take a vacation or something.


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Posted in:Bikini|Liars|Paris Hilton|Sluts|Unsorted

2007

01

Aug

I am – Paris Hilton's Almost Upskirt of the Day

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Paris Hilton

Yesterday, while I was on my 2 hour layover in Chicago, I sat at a “Beach” bar getting drunk. I was surrounded by other folks who found it perfectly acceptable to get wasted at 4pm in an airport. This consisted of hefty middle-aged men in khakis, a crew of fratboys, a lone tie-dye hippy, and a blonde girl my age who got stuck sitting next to a chatty grandpa. While I was sipping my Sam Adams and Strawberry Margarita (double fisting is for the booze, not the sack), the bigscreen tuned to Fox News taught me Paris is selling her house, and that parents somewhere are fighting back against a pedophile and his website. They showed the ped’s pic, and it could have been a younger version of anyone of the fags surrounding me (except the girl and the hippy).

I got home at 11pm and considered bar-crawling, but my five days in California stuffed me more than a thanksgiving turkey, that is if thanksgiving turkey’s were stuffed with cocks. I lost about five pounds from all the sex and traveling. What sucks is how sore my vagina and tits are, and the rugburn on my left ass cheek I don’t remember getting. I think I may close up shop for a while, keeping the play down to dry-humping, and the exchange of bodily fluids down to spit. But these resolutions always fall apart after 5 vodka-on-the-rocks, and by then I’m on my knees or back faster than you can shove the porn under your bed when your mom comes knock’n.

Here is Paris Hilton out on the town and attempting to close up shop. I guess being cut-off from her inheritance has inspired her to keep her clit from breathing free, in hopes of winning back grandpa’s approval. Come on Paris, it was the prison that pissed him off. We all know the quickest way into an old man’s heart is showing a little freshly shaved meat. Ew, I need a shower and you need some alone time with Ms. Hilton’s innermost thigh and invisible box.

Obediently yours,
Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)

EMAIL ME HERE


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Posted in:Paris Hilton|Slut|Uncategorized|Unsorted|Upskirt

2007

01

Aug

I am – Paris Hilton’s Almost Upskirt of the Day

6 Comments »

Paris Hilton

Yesterday, while I was on my 2 hour layover in Chicago, I sat at a “Beach” bar getting drunk. I was surrounded by other folks who found it perfectly acceptable to get wasted at 4pm in an airport. This consisted of hefty middle-aged men in khakis, a crew of fratboys, a lone tie-dye hippy, and a blonde girl my age who got stuck sitting next to a chatty grandpa. While I was sipping my Sam Adams and Strawberry Margarita (double fisting is for the booze, not the sack), the bigscreen tuned to Fox News taught me Paris is selling her house, and that parents somewhere are fighting back against a pedophile and his website. They showed the ped’s pic, and it could have been a younger version of anyone of the fags surrounding me (except the girl and the hippy).

I got home at 11pm and considered bar-crawling, but my five days in California stuffed me more than a thanksgiving turkey, that is if thanksgiving turkey’s were stuffed with cocks. I lost about five pounds from all the sex and traveling. What sucks is how sore my vagina and tits are, and the rugburn on my left ass cheek I don’t remember getting. I think I may close up shop for a while, keeping the play down to dry-humping, and the exchange of bodily fluids down to spit. But these resolutions always fall apart after 5 vodka-on-the-rocks, and by then I’m on my knees or back faster than you can shove the porn under your bed when your mom comes knock’n.

Here is Paris Hilton out on the town and attempting to close up shop. I guess being cut-off from her inheritance has inspired her to keep her clit from breathing free, in hopes of winning back grandpa’s approval. Come on Paris, it was the prison that pissed him off. We all know the quickest way into an old man’s heart is showing a little freshly shaved meat. Ew, I need a shower and you need some alone time with Ms. Hilton’s innermost thigh and invisible box.

Obediently yours,
Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)

EMAIL ME HERE


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I am – Paris Hilton’s Post Prison Nip Slip of the Day
GO

I am – Paris Hilton is Full of Herself of the Day
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I am – Paris Hilton’s Retarded Cleavage of the Day
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Posted in:Paris Hilton|Slut|Uncategorized|Unsorted|Upskirt

2007

16

Jul

I am – Paris Hilton's Post Prison Nip Slip of the Day

No Comments »

PAris Hilton Header

I’d like to write something hilarious about this and then veer off into some sort of story that seems unrelated at the start, but brings everything together in the end, but my wireless is fucking up again, and it just took me half an hour to load 3 photos and frankly, I’m pissed off.

So all you get is blondie here, with her nipples hanging out, like a pepperoni flying off an NYC deli pizza, as usual, and in the end, do I really have to say more then that?


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Posted in:Nip Slip|Paris Hilton|Tits|Unsorted

2007

16

Jul

I am – Paris Hilton’s Post Prison Nip Slip of the Day

15 Comments »

PAris Hilton Header

I’d like to write something hilarious about this and then veer off into some sort of story that seems unrelated at the start, but brings everything together in the end, but my wireless is fucking up again, and it just took me half an hour to load 3 photos and frankly, I’m pissed off.

So all you get is blondie here, with her nipples hanging out, like a pepperoni flying off an NYC deli pizza, as usual, and in the end, do I really have to say more then that?


Related Posts

I am – Paris Hilton’s Retarded Cleavage of the Day
GO

I am – Paris Hilton Leaving Jail of the Day
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I am – Paris Hilton’s Pantie’s in the Wind of the Day
GO

Posted in:Nip Slip|Paris Hilton|Tits|Unsorted

2007

12

Jul

I am – Paris Hilton is Full of Herself of the Day

8 Comments »

Paris Hilton in a Warhol Style Shirt

I honestly don’t have much to write about this, but what I do have to say is I was talking about Warhol earlier today HERE and the whole “Everyone Will Be Famous for 15 Minutes� thing, and here comes Paris Hilton wearing a Warhol-style shirt with her own face on it. Yes, I am a psychic genius, and no, you can’t have my phone number.


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Posted in:Paris Hilton|Unsorted

2007

09

Jul

I am – Paris Hilton's Retarded Cleavage of the Day

No Comments »

paris_hilton_big_tits_top.jpg

Paris Hilton has been out of Jail for about a week or something and has already spent time on the beach in Hawaii, she’s gone shopping and she’s been going to acting classes and obviously trying to launch some sort of worthy career we can all laugh at her about. She held off on partying for all this time and has finally gone out to a club over the weekend. The funny thing about her is that she’s got some crazy fucking tit action going on and since I saw her half naked, I know shit’s not real. She’s probably been hanging with Pam Anderson’s magical boyfriend to make this illusion shit happen, or she’s just spent a decent amount of money on some miracle bra and fake tit inserts because this cleavage makes no fucking sense for an A-Cup.

Whenever I see girls do this kind of thing, I get a little pissed off. They are the kind of girl you think are hot and you’re scoring huge with when you get enough courage to roofie them up and drag them out of a club by their hair to bring them home with you, because let’s face it, that’s the only game you really have, your personality doesn’t ever get you that far. Once you get them naked you realize that they are not the woman you thought you were getting with and for the rest of the night all you can think about is the 200 pound fat slut who actually had real tits that you coulda probably got without having to date rape drug them.

Paris Hilton reminds us that things aren’t always what they seem as she pretends to make a difference in the world from her life changing jail experience by going to clubs and getting drunk with a set of big tits that just confuse us as into thinking whether anything out there is really authentic or just some practical joke they are playing on us like life is candid fucking camera….

Posted in:Big Tits|cleavage|Paris Hilton|Unsorted

2007

09

Jul

I am – Paris Hilton’s Retarded Cleavage of the Day

1 Comment »

paris_hilton_big_tits_top.jpg

Paris Hilton has been out of Jail for about a week or something and has already spent time on the beach in Hawaii, she’s gone shopping and she’s been going to acting classes and obviously trying to launch some sort of worthy career we can all laugh at her about. She held off on partying for all this time and has finally gone out to a club over the weekend. The funny thing about her is that she’s got some crazy fucking tit action going on and since I saw her half naked, I know shit’s not real. She’s probably been hanging with Pam Anderson’s magical boyfriend to make this illusion shit happen, or she’s just spent a decent amount of money on some miracle bra and fake tit inserts because this cleavage makes no fucking sense for an A-Cup.

Whenever I see girls do this kind of thing, I get a little pissed off. They are the kind of girl you think are hot and you’re scoring huge with when you get enough courage to roofie them up and drag them out of a club by their hair to bring them home with you, because let’s face it, that’s the only game you really have, your personality doesn’t ever get you that far. Once you get them naked you realize that they are not the woman you thought you were getting with and for the rest of the night all you can think about is the 200 pound fat slut who actually had real tits that you coulda probably got without having to date rape drug them.

Paris Hilton reminds us that things aren’t always what they seem as she pretends to make a difference in the world from her life changing jail experience by going to clubs and getting drunk with a set of big tits that just confuse us as into thinking whether anything out there is really authentic or just some practical joke they are playing on us like life is candid fucking camera….

Posted in:Big Tits|cleavage|Paris Hilton|Unsorted

2007

02

Jul

I am – More of Paris Hilton in a Bathing Suit in Maui of the Day

5 Comments »

images_removed_paparazzi.jpg

I came across these pictures of Paris in a bathing suit in Maui and figured I should post them since celebrity in bikinis is 90 percent of what I do. I don’t consider Paris to be a real celebrity, I don’t think she’s got anything interesting going on, I don’t really understand the reason everyone is so interested in her, but she’s on the beach and that’s more than I can say for you, so that is why she gets coverage on this shitty site. Reality is that I am pretty easy to please and half naked is all I really ever need for a post, so I don’t mind making your famous, if you’re willing to take it off.

I was reading an article on MSN about how to seduce billionaires to marry you. I am exploring new business options because the internet isn’t doin it for me and there’s gotta be some black sheep fat retarded daughter of a rich dude that they keep locked up in the basement who is lonely enough for someone like me. I don’t know where the article is but it lead me to all these different high society sites. I didn’t realize that people actually care about the family and kids and wives of these extremely rich dudes. I always thought their lives were boring with all that keeping up appearances, going to art gallery exhibits and donating time and money to charity. There are probably scandals that would be more interesting than the shit Paris gets into and there are probably nude pics, sex tapes and other exciting scandals filling up their guest houses, but I’ll never see them because I have no idea who any of these high society people are.

I need Entertainment Tonight and Access Hollywood to let me know who to watch out for and not all these rich kids aren’t into the whole L.A. Fame Game.

I did harass a couple of them on Facebook a while ago. One of them was the daughter of some record exec and another one was the daughter of some other big company. It turns out that they have no sense of humor and either do I, that’s why this post fucking sucks. It happens. It’s Monday. I hate you.

I guess it’s nice to see Paris back on all fours and half naked as she rides her surfboard, because it reminds us that Jail can’t change a person, except for maybe giving someone more publicity than they have seen since the release of a sex tape.

Posted in:Ass|Bathing Suit|Beach|Maui|Paris Hilton|Unsorted