In really important news, the Lebanese Mexican who likely has a French Passport too, thanks to being married to a Billionaire’s billionaire son, because that’s what happens when you’re a successful celebrity woman who has been made into a fetish, you sugar baby better than the rest of them, not that they need to, but why the fuck not….since they don’t associate with broke fucks….it’s a higher level of human…

But in really important news, the actress who’s tits we loved in her early years of American movie making, still has huge tits in her 50s….and looks great showing them off from half a mile away, which works for me because she’s aging well, despite the menopause, which in some cases is a gift that keeps giving month after month for the birth control aspect of menopause and not the standard reminder that your bitch is expired like it is in most cases…we call this menopausal inclusivity.

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Posted in:Salma Hayek

Salma Hayek posed a picture of her soaking wet with the caption I’m ready “rain on me” which I assume is code for being peed on…but I am not too sure…I am not one of those rich guys who buys super famous women to pee on so I can’t really relate….I don’t even pee on the crackwhores I give money to…it’s a little too degrading for my liking, even if they are begging for it…since younger people are really into peeing on…while old fucks like me remember the first time a girl “squirted” on us during sex, that musky cat piss smell….thinking…”that bitch just peed on me”…..

That’s not to say I haven’t peed on a girl, it just means I don’t pee on girls. There’s a difference…

As it turns out, Salma Hayek, who has been hot her entire acting career in part because of her big Lebanese / Mexican titties…is still hot in her 50s…in part because of her big lebanese / mexican titties….we call them SHWARMA TACO….or I guess we’d call her vagina that…maybe this is more of a Tomale…I’m not a foodie…I don’t have the answers…

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Posted in:Salma Hayek

I recently saw some bullshit about Salma Hayek defending that she didn’t marry her billionaire for his money, but rather for love…and I thought the whole thing was idiotic because Salma Hayek is rich as shit in her own right, whether she burnt through her money or not, she’s Salma Hayek and if a nice billionaire is hitting on her at the same time some lowly millionaire is hitting on her….the millionaire likely less millions than she has….plus there’s the whole celebrity factor which also carries some value….because even if she’s broke being Salma Hayek is worth money…her IG alone has 17 million followers which is likely worth millions even though it’s just an instagram account…

So what I am saying is…rich and famous women date billionaires because they are just as shitty as the millionaires…only they have less to prove….

So if you’re whoever was calling out Salma Hayek for marrying a billionaire, saying she’s a gold digger, you’re a fucking idiot and don’t realize how much these TITTIES are worth….not to mention, it’s not like she’s Miranda Kerr…she’ SALMA HAYEK.

The Mexican Lebanese Dream…tits we’ve loved for 20 years…still has the tits and I am still a fan of all she does with those tits….so LEAVE Salma Alone internet…

I must defend her honor like the HERO I am…

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Posted in:Salma Hayek

Salma Hayek posted this titty shot the other day, I didn’t post it, but figured I will now because Salma’s tits are iconic to perverts like me…

Not just because she’s the billionaire’s wife who I am sure was rich as shit before she landed the billionaire, I mean she’s a huge fucking star straight from Mexico, meaning she was likely rich as shit in Mexico in the first place, which allowed her the luxury of getting into the whole acting thing, where her tits mesmerized the American producers to think “We need some of that over here state side”…so I figure she started rich, got richer, with her big celebrity became the trophy wife to some way richer dude who owns all the Luxury Brands thanks to his dad….but because her tits have been big for over 20 years, in our lives for over 25 years…meaning these are some old tits…54 year old tits…which are typically TOO old tits…but in this case…are just great big Salma Hayek tits..

Posted in:Salma Hayek

Salma Hayek cleavage is not all that exciting, in part because the actress is old as shit…and old chicks suck at looking at…even if they are historically better at sex thanks to all the years of being banged out and reaching that age of not giving a fuck or feeling insecure…all while knowing how to get themselves off…so if you can stomach loose old lady skin…and dry old lady pussy because the friction makes you finally feel what a pussy feels like…get with the old rather than the new…

But, old or not, she’s still Salma Hayek…and she brings some personality and tit to her instagram because what the fuck else is she supposed to do…She’s rich and famous in her own right, I am sure she comes from family money to begin with as the poor in Mexico aren’t famous actresses….and the rich are kind of able to do whatever the fuck they want…it’s one of those small middle class, either you’re stupid rich or stupid poor societies..

Anyway, old or not, rich or not, she’s still got them Hayek tits all these year later and I’ll look at her cleavage if she brings it, whether she’s grandma aged or not…..

I am also interested in watching her take a tequila shot, because I like tequila, it’s one of those amazing drinks to get blacked out on and I have been blacked on on it many humiliating times…it is one of those booze categories I’d want to launch my own version of…but since I have no ties to Tequila, Mexico, no resources to launch my tequila company, no one to sell my tequila company to…I’ll just keep drinking it when not looking at Salma drop some Mexican stereotypes, like a middle aged wife at Taco night on a ladies night…porn to anyone who’s got stuck chatting up drunk married moms when they are out on the town being wild…a fetish to some and a nightmare to others…where do you line up?

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Posted in:Salma Hayek

Salma Hayek is licking shit of the day, because she’s Salma Hayek, rich and famous on her own, probably from her family, because Mexican immigrants that come to America rarely become super star celebrities, they either work as maids in hotels or factories or get deported….but this one persevered…..and it probably wasn’t only because of her tits, but I am sure the tits helped get her cast in Mexican movies to have that portfolio of work needed to get into American movies back when there wasn’t an internet to cross reference…..who cares…she’s also rich because her husband is a fucking billionaire a bunch of times over because they own every luxury brand…those tits have done good….

That said, the funniest Salma Hayek story this week was related to Hilary Baldwin being exposed for faking a Spanish life, where they are saying she got wind of Alec Baldwin wanting Salma Hayek for sex, only to do stalker shit you’d expect from a Yoga instructor dating a celebrity, because how else does she even get into their circle, that requires effort and strategy….and Amber Heard level of knowing how to manipulate SIMP bitchmade men who get won over through great sex….that a Yoga provider is built to provide…

ANYWAY…the story is Baldwin wanted Salma Hayek, Hilary Baldwin rebranded herself as Hilaria from Mallorca and has ridden than lie, at least publicly, I mean it is possible that Baldwin doesn’t know the truth because he is so self obsessed and she just caters to him and strokes his ego all day like a manipulative gold digger would since that’s their job….all while making him a dozen kids….but I am sure he’s in on the joke and finds the whole thing the ultimate troll, which it is….

But I am sure he would have still rather got his dick wet in Salma Hayek than that big pussy from all the kids Hilary from Boston…..but both can probably fuck and that’s what it’s about..

Posted in:Salma Hayek

Salma Hayek may be married to a billionaire, but that doesn’t mean she needs to act like she’s some kind of Royalty, you know like Meghan Markle.

LOL!

You know the so fucking classy kind of royalty, regal shit you think of when you think of kings and queens, only that worked as a promo model for Howie Mandell’s gameshow which at the time was probably something she likely sucked a dick or two for, that’s how those jobs happen…and something that she probably thought was the BEST fucking job ever….a girl with a numbered case in line like she was working at the BUNNY RANCH being lined up for the clients to choose from…only on NETWORK TV….the typical gateway to royalty, or at least SUGAR BABYING…

Which happens to be the exact kind of Royalty Hayek’s aiming for with her tits out while pulling on her bra strap.

This could be an old pic, but she’s always been a set of tits for Hollywood…so let’s treat her as such, it’s what her legacy is built on and we support that.

Posted in:Salma Hayek