I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Archive for the Unsorted Category

2006

17

Sep

I am – Weekend stepLINKS of the Day

kimmytop.jpg

I haven’t been by my computer the last 2 days and I haven’t been able to post my steplinks, that’s just what happens when you suck at life. Speaking of sucking at life, I was sent an anonymous email that included a phone number that the informant claimed was Kimmy Stewart. So I sent it to my Lohan stalking Jewish assistant to call her and see what she had to say. This is what he had to say:

Dear Jesus,

Thanks for the Kimmy Stewart number, you’re lazy ass hasn’t been very resourceful on the celebrity stalker front and I have to admit I was pretty excited about it. I wanted to call to verify the number, so I set my number to private and called. I was expecting to hang up the phone when I got an answer or answering machine. So when the bitch answered the phone and I was about to hang up, I decided to chat her up a little, I am seductive like that. So I tried convincing her that we knew each other, then I told her the whole story, that I was from Stepfather and that we stalk celebs. I told her that I was poor and she told me that she only hangs out with people with 1.5 million in their checking account because she’s shallow. She told me that she was watching football with her celebrity lesbian life partner who she doesn’t have sex with. I asked her if she was drunk or on anti-depressants because she kept telling me the the phone belonged to her dog snuggles. I still wasn’t convinced it was her and I didn’t record the conversation . I admit I fucked up.

I went to the T-Mobile website trying to find a way to send her anonymous text messages, accidentally used the site wrong and ended up sending her password to her handset, which is kinda funny because she probably thought she was getting hacked. Once I found the message center I sent her some random Jesus style shit and I signed your name. I told her I loved her. I hope you don’t mind.

I figured getting no response was boring, so I decided to drop the anonymous shit and send her a text from my cell. I don’t care about being anonymous. This is what I wrote:

“Some dude posted your number on the internet, I just wanted to let you know that I loved your work on “Good Morning Australia: Episode 30 – Sept 2005″, it changed my fucking life.”

She replied something like:

“I am not on the internet and I am not a celebrity. I am not the kim you think I am”

So I replied

“I don’t care who you are. I am in love and want to take you and Snuggles out for ice cream, but not chocolate ice cream cuz that shit is poison for puppies. PS Kimmy Stewart is not a celeb, she just banged the fat osborne. I make ppl happy, you are lucky I called”

She replied:

“Please don’t call or txt anymore. Thank you. T-Mobile is now aware of what’s going on.”

So I replied:

“Relax. You take yourself too seriously. I called and sent under 10 text messages. That is not harassment in any way. If I was your dad I’d Sing an American classic song to get me through this. PS. You were way cooler when we were talking on the phone”

She hasn’t replied yet, and probably won’t. I’m thinking of calling off our ice cream date.

I know this is too long for you to read, just post it on the site.

Thanks for nothing asshole. It wasn’t even Kimmy Stewart. Speaking of nothing, here are my weekend links. CUDDLES.

Nastya is a Girl Posing in the Shower Lookin’ Good….
GO

Jessica Biel Has a Long Tongue, But You Already Knew That, Didn’t You…Pervert….
GO

I don’t Know What the Hell this is a Picture Of….
GO

Some Girl With Big Tits Flashes the Camera at a Fast Food Joint…..
GO

RateMyPix Let’s You Rate Amateur Porn Pics. I fucking LOVE Am-Porn
GO

The Bitch From Gilligan’s Island
GO

Drunk Girls Making Out At Parties Is Lame But Never Boring…
GO

Little Kid Runs into Something and Gets Knocked Out
GO

These Guys Refused to Advertise on My Site Cuz They Are Cunts
GO

Sex Product of the Day, Because Bitches With Tails Turn Me On
GO

There was a time when Pillow Fights Turned Me On…Now They Turn Me on In Theory
GO

Here is an Adriana Lima Montage to The James Blunt Song, Cuz Whoever Made this is a Total Fag
GO

Girls in Hijabs Showing Off Their Boxes..
GO

Nora is a Semi-Retarded Girl from YouTube who has become famous….Anyway – This is her asking someone out
GO

Some Dumb Bitch With a Stupid Accent Trying to Be Funny in a Bikini Top
GO

Birthday’s are Depressing…Especially When People Make Lame Jokes
GO

I don’t know who Raquel Gibson is, But I am Happy She’s Not Deborah Gibson in these Playboy Pics
GO

Deborah Gibson Nude in Playboy
GO

The Amazing Racist at the Mosque Video
GO

Lohan Broke Her Wrist Cutting Lines and Giving a Handjob While Pissing All Over the Floor, That’s the Story I heard
GO

Some Random Sexy Links for a Sexy Sunday when You’re Getting Nothing Sexy in Real Life….
GO

Sylvina Luna is an Argentinian Celeb, This is a Video of Her Topless on the Beach
GO

Nick Takes Vanessa Meet the Parents on a Boat in a Bikini (PICS)
GO

X-Tina Aguilera Photoshoot that Makes me Wish I was a Dirrrty Genie in Betwen Her Legs Rubbing Her the Wrong Way because I’m not What a Girl Wants but I am Beautiful when I walk Away…In case you didn’t get the joke, that sentence was made with X-Tina Song Titles
GO

Gif of X-Tina’s Thong in Some Kind of Semi-Sheer Dress
GO

Sophie Monk Nipple Slip
GO

This is probably a bad way to get a job in Politics
GO

Jesus Camp Documentary – Genius Idea….
GO

Zach Braff Punches a Kid on Punk’d – Find it on Youtube…
GO

This Girl Just Got Signed – I think She’s 11 or 12 Years Old Listen to her songs..
GO

Anderson Cooper is a Homo
GO

Paris Talks About Travis Video
GO

I have No Idea What Kind of Books These Are- But they Sound Dirty.
GO

This Seems Like A Shirt You’d Wear…Liar
GO

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

15

Sep

I am – Anastacia in a Bikini 4 years ago of the Day….

Anastacia6.jpg

Anastacia is some David Hasselhoff of a singer who is from here but famous on the other side of the world and these are old pictures of her in a bikini. The same dude who sent in the 4 year old Atomic Kitten pics sent these into me. I guess he’s cleaning out his hard drive and since my celeb paparazzi source is fucking boring today, I figured I’d make all you perverts happy with some dirty russian name sounding ass.. Speaking of Rats, Here’s MUNG’s Latest Post on being a Lab Rat….I only know that because that’s the subject line in the email, it’s not like i’d every read his smut, but you will. Cuddles.

It’s Friday and I am fucking bored out of my fucking mind. I am trying to think of plans for this weekend, but I have none. Usually my weekend involves a bucket of KFC, a 6 pack of “Yankee Jim”, and 6 or 7 vigorous masturbation sessions to the newest PornoTube videos dispersed in between marathon sessions of PS2. No wonder I am a 27 year old “born-again virgin” who lives in his parents basement. My life is sad. More sad than every reader on this site. Just when you think your life sucks, call me and I will be sure to make you feel better about your life, by telling you a story about mine. I should never have quit my job at A&W. My lifelong dream of becoming a professional blog poster just doesn’t pay well enough and I am not seeing any fortunes in the near future. The only way I am able to make money is to become a drug testing lab rat. So in hopes of becoming rich, I have decided that every Friday I will try a different drug and then post about it on this website the following morning or afternoon (whenever I wake up). This weekend’s drug of choice will be “hash oil”. The only reason that “hash oil” is the drug of choice this weekend is because my hippy friend Patterson stopped by and dropped some off for me this morning and I had to get it on spot because I only have $3.00 dollars to my name. So tonight, I will smoke the entire 20 dollar vial to myself and I will write a post about it tomorrow morning (or afternoon) whenever I decide to drag my overweight ass out of bed. If all 6 of you think this is a good idea, then leave your comments here and let me know. As the weeks progress, the drugs will get harder, the stories will be funnier, and I will be one step closer to killing myself and making all of you readers happier.

Smooches,

MUNG

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

15

Sep

I am – Old Atomic Kitten Concert Pics of the Day

AtomicKittensConcert4.jpg

Someone sent me in some concert pictures of Atomic Kitten, some girl pop group who I don’t think even exists anymore, they are dancing around in their bras and since it’s Friday and I can’t find anything good to post so I decided to post them even if they are 4 years old.

I figure since you haven’t been with a woman in the last 4 years, this will bring back memories of the last time you had your way with a women. It was college, you were a virgin, she was drunk and thought you were her boyfriend. You went along with it, because you had never seen a vagina in person before and you knew that her confusion about who you being her boyfriend meant an instant in, literally. So she passes out her bed, and you lift up her skirt and pull down her panties, you are unsure of what to do so you decide to get on top of her. You try to slide your pathetic cock inside her dry box but end up cumming all over her belly at which point she wakes up, throws up all over you, realizes you aren’t her boyfriend and kicks you out. It could have been worse, she was a hefty girl and probably could have kicked your ass. Either way, you were almost there, you almost stuck it in a cunt and you patted yourself on the back knowing that next time you’ll get it done proper. Four years later, there still hasn’t been a next time and that drunk girl was the closest thing you’ve had to sex. We call her your golden moment. Meaning that in no time, you’ll end up becoming a rapist or school bus driver or Kimveering a school. Just delete your internet history, because I don’t want to be implicated in your bullshit. Thanks in advance asshole.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

15

Sep

I am – Elle Macpherson is Insane of the Day

ellemacphersonTOP.jpg

I remember back in 1989 and porn wasn’t as available to 19 year old dudes as it is today. I used to rub one out to anything I could, from shitty music videos on MTV to magazine spreads and a Sports Illustrated 25 Year Anniversary VHS. That shit was my porno because you could see Rachel Hunter and Elle Macpherson’s nipples, Cheryl Tiegs rack which was huge then, but not by today’s standards of genetically modifed food giving 10 year olds 34DDs. The point of all this is to say that dudes everywhere could get off to the simple things, like a cleavage shirt or a nipple or even and topless tribe in Africa. They didn’t need the bodage shit, or the teen girls taking facials, or graphic gangbangs and internal cum shots to get off. This isn’t a sociological commentary, but you gotta ask yourself what happens to society when an 18 year old, who 15 years ago would get off to a nipple can now only get off to gang bang porn with anal cumshots that he can find by typing it into google. He’s already got an established fetish and he’s still a fucking virgin…He’s already desensitized to seeing a naked woman so that his sexual needs are that of a 40 year old married man who’s bored of fucking his wife, and he’s still a virgin. Do you get where I am going with this, because I don’t.

After taking a 5 minute break from writing this post, I decided that what I am trying to say is that 18 year old girls are just as exposed to porn now as dudes are. So the nice unassuming private school girls who used to stay virgins til they were 18 like Donna on 90210 are getting fucked up the ass while taking one in the box and one in the mouth at the age of 17 with her highschool sweetheart instead of issuing the “panty-on rule”. So now all this what would have been prude bitches are acting like they are the next Belladonna. So we’re in for an interesting 10 years of teen pregnancy and teen STDs which have finally made their way from the gutter to the uppercrust.

Speaking of Pregnancy and STDs, here’s some pictures of “CRAZY” Elle Macpherson picking up her kids from school. Crazy or not, I’d still stuff her like a turkey with my mouth (since I am impotent), if I had the chance.

Posted in:Elle Macpherson|Insane|Model|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

15

Sep

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

djam.jpg

So I emailed AM last night, hoping that it would go to his 2-way, which I know it did. He didn’t respond. I emailed this dude from Vegas who used to email me pics of his mexican GF naked, and who knew AM personally in attempts to get AMs number. He didn’t want to give it to me. This is what he said:

dude, i love your style but a.m. is a golden guy. he’s straight-edge,
harmless and classy. and ego-less.

we’re cut from a different cloth.

let’s rip on the bullshit artists. there are so-o-o-o many.

I don’t think I was trying to rip into AM, I just wanted to milk the g-list celeb connections that I found out I don’t have last night. I was also supposed to throw the first stepPARTY in Montreal on November 4th with Mickey Avalon. My two organizers fucked up and didn’t secure any money and I am not about to organize a party. I am 35, agoraphobic and broke, the last thing I know how to do is throw hipster parties. I wasn’t even going to attend the fucking thing, I just wanted my named attached. I still think it was a good idea though. So if anyone out there wants to take over – let me know.

Either way, I don’t know what else to write about. I have officially have writer’s block. This is the first time this has ever happened to me. Luckily I have MUNG and his shitty submissions to fill up this stepLINKS post.

To celebrate the new spirit of the “drunkenstepfather” website, I too have decided to do a post about child stars for all the peds out there. Only I have decided to do my post about a useless child cunt named JoJo. This pathetic excuse for a child star always shows her beautiful little child star face at all the Teen Choice Awards but I never heard a fucking song even written by this hairless teen. How is she in the spotlight? My guess is that she gives music executives blowjobs and fingers their ass while having bukkake sessions with entertainment moguls. Her mother and father probably whore her out to the media so she can make Mommy and Daddy millions, and all the poor little girl has to do is take a few inches of executive cock in her ass.

The worst part about this tight little slut is that she has no talent whatsoever (so I have heard). How do children like her make it big? She must be a pro at swallowing and swapping cum and taking it in her hairless axe wound. I kinda wish I was a music executive that way I could sit in my glass office on the 32nd floor of Sony, getting blowjobs from pre-teen girls while having a group of them make out and finger-fuck each other while I whack off using their tears as lubrication.

Check out her myspace you fucking peds and send her messages about giving it to her in her ass.
Also, have a listen to her music while you wack off to her pictures. I did, and her screaming reminds me of the sound she would make as I forced my pathetic excuse inside of her.

Be sure to send her a stalker message and tell her you love her. HERE

Speaking of the worst post ever, here are some shitty links of the day for all you fuckers to click on….MUNG, I am just teasing dude, I didn’t actually read what you wrote, I am sure it’s quite lovely and compared to what I write it can’t be bad. It’s a whole Kate Moss and her Unkown Fat Friend Situation….

Jay Smith is a Comedian Who Reads This Site – Here’s His Stand-Up Routine
GO

A really Flexible Girl on Video
GO

Some New Wicked Weasel Contributors
GO

Liz Hurley Panty Upskirt from Behind
GO

Some Girl Drops Her Pants and Moons all of You Tube
GO

Rock and Republic Fashion Show Pics Makes Me Want to Fuck Models
GO

Some Youtube Girl In Bootyshorts Who Can’t Dance
GO

Ashlee is Hotter Than Jessica, I Guess a Nose Makes a Huge Difference
GO

Some Hot Girls Chosen by Cayos
GO

Micheal K Becomes the New Perez Hilton by Hanging with Celebs
GO

Kelly Brook Bikini
GO

Big Breasts Usually Scare the Fuck Out of Me
GO

One of My Readers Sends Me Videos of Monkies, I Don’t Know Why
GO

Here’s the Real Karate Kid
GO

Summer and Scrubs are In Love Deal With It
GO

I broke this story last year – people should listen to me – assholes
GO

Myspace Profile of the Day – RIP Lily Tran
GO

Here’s the Story on How She Died
GO

Some Fat Girl Dancing To Get Your Freak On
GO

Some Myspace Whore
GO

A couple having sex to the beat of the house music that’s playing in the room…..
GO

stepSITE of the Day: LAXTIME
GO

stepSHIRT of the Day: Led Zepplin 1977 Tour
GO

This is a Pee Video I don’t Understand
GO

Here’s another one, I am Sure She Can Make Money in Better Ways
GO

Some Hot Pics of Montreal Girls I Know
GO

Here are some pictures of the day:

Avril

Paris

Mena Suvari

Heather Graham and Petra

Christina Aguilera and Jew

Vincent Gallo

Victoria Beckham

Hilary Duff

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

14

Sep

I am – Lindsay Lohan Pics of the Day

LohanTenJune003.jpg

I stole 10 more dollars from my wife’s purse today so that I could treat myself to an over-priced Starbuck’s latte. I always feel like a poofter when I order a latte, the name is so gay that even if it was made with testosterone and came with a free vagina to fuck voucher, it would still be gay. Either way, I went to get myself a Latte and walked by some old lady begging for change. Two 18 year old fat Jewish girls who were drinking their obnoxious Starbucks drink, wearing their obnoxious Jewish outfits of the day, talking about their obnoxious rich girl lives walked right by her as if she wasn’t even there. That really bothered me, because I knew they both had 300 dollar a week allowances and they couldn’t even acknowledge this woman. I got to thinking that I would never forget where I came from. I know the old lady obviously doesn’t want to be out there in the rain doing that, she’s had to suck up her pride because she needed to eat. Right then and there, I told myself that I wasn’t going to let this Internet Stardom or my fanbase of 4 take away my soul or my perspective, so I decided to give her the change, my last 5 dollars that wasn’t even mine. Even if I have nothing, I would rather help someone out than treat myself to luxury items like I was going to with that 5 dollars, that was going to go toward cigars or a 40 of beer. Point being that when I left the starbucks, the old hag was no where in site, so I got to keep my 5 dollars. I wish she woulda stuck around, it would have given this post a purpose and who knows, maybe I woulda got a blowjob out of it.

Speaking of blowjobs and charity, here are some new pics of Lohan….who gives blowjobs and gets work which is kinda like charity…or not. Cuddles

Lohan at Heathrow:

Lohan at a Restaurant Called Morimoto

Lohan at a Club Called Tenjune

Lohan at Some Fashion Show

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

14

Sep

I am – Kate Moss' Fat Manager of the Day

katemossfatmanager.jpg

I just finished writing a post about the school shooter named Kim. I quoted his online journal/blog and had links to his pics and shit and I decided to pull it because I don’t want to give this loser anymore media coverage than he already has. I know saying that I am a media outlet is pretty fucking obnoxious considering I only have 4 readers, but even sending one of you to this cunt’s page is more than he deserves. He didn’t school shoot for the sake of no one hearing his name, this was his attempt to get into everyone’s home to get whatever useless point he had across. This was a publictity stunt that took the life of a cute 18 year old girl and it’s all pretty horrible.

Speaking of horrible here are some pictures of Kate Moss with her fat manager. I guess she is a Paris Hilton type who surrounds herself with ugly people to be the prettiest in the group or maybe maybe this fat bitch is actually average sized and hot and only looks fat and ugly next to Kate Moss.

Bonus – Some Pics of Kate Moss and Winona Ryder on a Meeting to the “I had Sex With Johnny Depp” club.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

14

Sep

I am – Kate Moss’ Fat Manager of the Day

katemossfatmanager.jpg

I just finished writing a post about the school shooter named Kim. I quoted his online journal/blog and had links to his pics and shit and I decided to pull it because I don’t want to give this loser anymore media coverage than he already has. I know saying that I am a media outlet is pretty fucking obnoxious considering I only have 4 readers, but even sending one of you to this cunt’s page is more than he deserves. He didn’t school shoot for the sake of no one hearing his name, this was his attempt to get into everyone’s home to get whatever useless point he had across. This was a publictity stunt that took the life of a cute 18 year old girl and it’s all pretty horrible.

Speaking of horrible here are some pictures of Kate Moss with her fat manager. I guess she is a Paris Hilton type who surrounds herself with ugly people to be the prettiest in the group or maybe maybe this fat bitch is actually average sized and hot and only looks fat and ugly next to Kate Moss.

Bonus – Some Pics of Kate Moss and Winona Ryder on a Meeting to the “I had Sex With Johnny Depp” club.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

14

Sep

I am – The Slut from Harry Potter of the Day

harrypottertop.jpg

I feel like I don’t post enough pictures of teenage girls. I know that my YouTube videos are all of underage girls dancing, but I only post those as filler. I have some pervert who sends me in 5 youtube videos a day and I’ve repeatedly said I don’t have standards, I post everything. So dude’s a bit of a potential sex offender and I guess I am one by extension so in living up to what everyone expects of me I decided to turn this site into a teen celebrity watching site with teen nip slips, teen panty upskirts, teen public drunkeness and teen pregnancy. Here’s my first post, it’s on the bitch from the Harry Potter movies, I don’t know her name, but surprise surprise she’s British….I’d like to talk about how nicely her breasts are coming in and whether she’s had her first kiss with her boyfriend yet…I’m thinking she’s a Jew Camp blow job queen like many teens, but who knows, maybe she’s all about getting on all fours and taking it in her ass to retain her virginity. I guess celebrity bitches grow up faster than normal teenagers, so maybe she’s already had sex, maybe she’s had orgies, maybe her manager and director of the movies used to rub one out on her face when pretended that she was sleeping in her witch outfit because Hollywood types are weird like that…it’s all speculation but either way she’s definitely a slut in whatever she does. So leave comments please, I’d love to see how you feel about the new direction of the site…..Cuddles you fucking cocksuckers….

PS – I had an argument with an advisor about whether or not I should post this. We decided that since 14 is legal in Canada and she’s 16, I am 2 years in the clear. However, we agreed that this post may be very damaging to this site and to me because Americans are scared of teenagers because you can get arrested for that shit. But she’s not naked so I figure I may get investigated by not arrested….in which case I say Hi F.B.I. and remind you all that this is just a joke…

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

14

Sep

I am – Lea Walker is Trash of the Day

leawalkerTOP.jpg

I am guessing my picture source is from the UK because all the pictures that I have been getting lately have been UK d-listers. I think posting them makes this site more interesting that the other celebrity blogs that are out there, but then again celebrity blogs are mad HOMO and just this intro makes this site more interesting that the other celebrity blogs….I could get a 3 year old kid to randomly press keys on my keyboard and the mangled words he produces would make this site would still be more interesting than other celebrity blogs. I could re-issue posts in my archives with 2 year old pictures and this site would be more interesting that the other celebrity blogs out there. I could abandon the site and delete the archives but keep the Booble banner up and this site would still be more interesting that the other celebrity blogs. All this is to say that other celebrity blogs are run by lame people who have a false sense of authority, a false sense of importance and a false sense of celebrity and even my piece of shit site beats the fucking shit out of them. If this was the ’50s, I’d be the rockstar in the garage fixing my motorbike with 2 sluts while listening to rock and roll and they’d be the faggot squares at the community center playing Musical Chairs. Speaking of people with a false sense of celebrity and Musical Chairs, my old friend DJ AM was playing at the local W hotel. I only found out about it at 1 am, cuz I am out of the loop like that, but I would have liked to been reunited with him, a lot like he probably wants to be reunited with Richie. For those of you who don’t know, AM used to email me until I told him Nicole Richie was a whore and he was better off without her. Turns out I was right and that AM, my ticket to Hollywood, wasn’t too impressed by me and stopped emailing me. In honor of useless f-list celebs and since I wasn’t at the event to get pics, here are some pics of some slag from UK Big Brother and her Tits.


Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted