Celine Dion Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2024

22

Apr

Topless Celine Dion Grabbing her Stiff Person Tit of the Day

Celine Dion is a National Icon up in these parts, so it is in the patriotic interest that we all collectively jerk off the the old as shit skeleton woman who has made our French Canadian nation proud.

It’s just one of those things you can’t think too much about and just have to commit to, without asking about her weird “Stiff Person” disease that she apparently had to cancel her tour because of.

You can’t think too much about her manager turned husband who created the icon after mortgaging his house and buying her from her family at 14 years old, which in Quebec years is old enough to sell off because it puts a strain on the farm trying to feed her.

You can’t think too much about how old and terrifying and weird she is, the skinny French Canadian robot woman who has managed to win the hearts of everyone with her broken english songs…..

You just have to remember she’s a Quebec woman to her core, hence the tits being pulled out, it’s kinda something they tend to do…it’s a passionate society of sluts.

Posted in:Celine Dion

2017

20

Jul

Celine Dion Freaking Me Out of the Day

No Comments »

Celine Dion is a Quebec / Canada success story that I am sure all the slutty french girls who have anal on the first date that doesn’t need to be a first date look to – maybe even worship – like they have some kind of shrine set up in their houses – because she is the only thing that has crawled out of the chain smoking, cheap beer drinking, poutine filled trailer park they all get teen pregnant in….

She made it…and all it took was fucking a 40 year old Lebanese man at 14….after he mortgaged his house and got a divorce for you….

It’s really the only way.

This is for vogue and it’s creepy as fuck…good way to start the day…never…

Posted in:Celine Dion|SFW

2012

24

Aug

Celine Dion Hot for V Magazine of the Day

1 Comment »

The hottest thing about Celine Dion is that she fucked her way to the top….but more importantly when she fucked her way to the top she was 14 and it was with her old married neighbor who took her in, mortgaged his house, left his wife and took this french trash to the fucking top….

I live in Quebec, where she is from, and where I am hated for being english, and I can’t stand her, she represents too much fucking evil, but knowing she’s had one cock in her in her entire life, makes her one of the more wholesome peppers (that’s what we call french trash here) around…since most french trash start fucking at 14 and like anal on the first date and by date I mean when you first meet them at a party….

I am not gonna go into a rant about french people, it’s not worth it, since I like everyone, but I will remain angry and confused as to why I find these pics hot as fuck….this is Celine Dion and it is making me feel so dirty cuz it is so wrong to like them…

Posted in:Celine Dion

2009

05

Feb

Celine Dion’s Got a Panty Upskirt of the Day

7 Comments »

Sure Celine Dion’s got a bad face, her songs get under your skin and her accent makes you want to jump her in a back alley, throw her in a van and drive her deep into the wilderness, tie her to a tree, pour honey on her and hope the bears get her, but I find her hot.

The reason is not because her body is pretty tight for an old mom, it’s not even because she’s french and french girls like anal on the first date and treat sex casually like it’s supposed to be treated. It is because at 14, she realized that her vagina was her meal ticket and without it she’d just be an old french fry eating hag in small town Quebec singing at a Church choir, so she seduced her married older neighbor, probably by walking around in a bikini, showing up to his Christmas parties and torturing him by sliding her foot up his thigh under the table, until he went so fucking crazy for her little pussy that he mortgaged his house, left his family, paid off her parents, rented studio time, toured locally, making her the ridiculously famous and successful icon who he married, and who is devoted to him and who will never cheat on or report to the authorities, because they are a team and it was all because she knew how to work her her teenage pussy.

Sure that whole sex with a 14 year old is common in Quebec and it is legal so her story may not be a big deal here, but it is good enough that seeing her panties, knowing she’s only had one dick in her, and knowing her past as a teenage slut makes this bitch a whole lot fuckin’ hotter than her face lets on.

Posted in:Celine Dion|Panty Upskirt

2008

10

Dec

Celine Dion’s Got a Tight Upskirt of the Day

2 Comments »

The thing I like about Celine Dion, other than the fact that she’s got the voice of an angel and is someone I can always turn to when I am feeling down and out and need a pick me up that really secures that I should go through with the suicide I’ve elaborately planned, is that she fucked her neighbor when she was 14, poor and living in small town Quebec and that gives me hope that in a few years, I’ll be able to find my own little money maker down in my ghetto neighborhood and I can just use Celine Dion’s success as part of my sales pitch to her drunk, hurting parents as to why they should let their daughter sit on my face….it’s a lot less criminal than it sounds, in small town Quebec most 14 year olds are already mothers of 5. Either way, here’s Celine Dion’s hot panties, because no matter how old she gets, behind those white walls is a violated teenage girl success story…

Posted in:Celine Dion|Upskirt

2008

10

Jul

Celine Dion is Hot in a Bikini of the Day

12 Comments »

Celine Dion is a hero where I live, shes the French Canadian who made it into the big leagues, a local talent who doesn’t live at home or do much for home, because she peaced the first chance she got, but knowing she is from the same shitty poverty low class roots as them keeps them going as they drive their compact 20 year old car to the local chicken restaurant they work at.

Like all French girls I know, other than my wife, who obviously has some kind of genetic disorder that I didn’t know about when I married her, she looks worth fucking in her bikini. For some reason, French chicks don’t really get fat no matter how badly they eat, they just always have these slim bodies that eventually start hanging off their bones in some kind of slim-fat aging mess, but when dressed shit looks pretty tight. I guess my idea of french girls is a little biased, since the only ones I know are career strippers who rock the pole, chain smoke and eat french fries and gravy, french toast, french salad dressing and drink excessively while jacked on coke.

The only exciting thing I know about French girls is their passion and love for getting fucked anally on the first date, they are pretty open to sex and laid back about the shit, meaning you don’t have to promise to take them to a subtitled movie so you can both enjoy it. They are low maintenance, and don’t expect flowers or jewelry, you just have to bring her a chocolate bar and promise to pay for the aborition if you knock her up and bitch is naked.

It’s also socially acceptable to fuck at 14 and legal for 50 year olds to fuck 14 year olds, it’s a cultural thing you’d probably appreciate, but that’s just because the young girls won’t judge your small penis because compared to the 14 year cock they’ve been getting, yours is average sized.

I heard that Celine Dion’s husband was her married neighbor when she was growing up and who slammed her when she was 14 and his wife was at church, before dude mortgaged his house to record her first album and make them all rich and making her father not run dude over with his snowplow.

BONUS – SOME MORE OF HER IN A ONE-PIECE

Posted in:Celine Dion|Hot

2008

20

Jun

Celine Dion Rockin’ The Mic Like it Was a Cock of the Day

9 Comments »

Celine Dion is not worth jerking off to, but that’s unfortunate because I know french chicks and french chicks are fucking dirty. They are the kind of girls who initiate sex with you as they grab at your cock in the bar begging to suck it and once you go home with them ask you to stick in in their asses before you even tell them you want to fuck them in the ass, because you only met them an hour earlier. They are just always one step ahead.

The other good thing about French chicks is that despite all the shitty food they eat, they always manage to look amazing until they are about 25, at which point all the smoking, cum shots, cocaine, and drinking catches up with their faces making them look like an old catcher’s mit but that body carries on until their second kid hits.

I guess the real reason you should want to fuck Celine or girls from the same heritage as Celine is because they start young, they go for old and most importantly, if you teach them some tricks can make you millions.

Posted in:Celine Dion|Mic

2007

12

Jun

I am – Celine Dion Bikini Pictures of the Day

4 Comments »

Here are the Celine Dion Bikini pictures that I have been waiting to see for 10 years. I don’t know when they were taken and I hate this bitch as much as you do but there’s just something magical about french chicks that you probably don’t understand because you don’t live in Montreal.

I’ll quickly explain because I figure it’s my role as the Number 1 Blog of Montreal to give you good reason to come to this city and that good reason is the french girls.

French girls are sluts, they are into sex and they are pretty fucking dirty girls in the bedroom. They are liberal, emotional and like anal and being naked. They don’t take much working on, you basically just need to catch them when they are horny or impress them by pretending you are famous because a lot of the french girls I have met have been from small shitty communities and work as bar maids or waitresses or strippers and are easily impressed. They spend their money on nice clothes, lookin good and going out instead of shit waspy corporate suburban trash spend their money on, like pant suits for the office car and mortgage payments and other expenses to ensure a dull fucking existence.

Majority of strippers in Montreal are french and have tight fucking bodies even though they only eat french fries and drink wine. They are genetically programmed to maintain a tight lookin’ figure well into their 50s even with chain smoking, hard livin’ and bad food. By the time they are 30, their faces usually look weathered and old like a wilted flower but their bodies scream 16 year old and the older they get the sluttier they get to try to hold onto their youthful years of multiple sex partners.

The only problem with french girls is that they don’t speak english, they hate english people and they don’t get my fucking jokes. Every french girl I try to talk to don’t get what I am saying and my shit goes way over their heads. When a sense of humor is all you’ve got, you’ll be going home alone, but if you’re older and richer, they are totally into having you for a daddy. Kinda like Celine did with her manager husband who tapped her ass at 14 before making her famous and leading her to believe that she’s nothing without him….

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Celine Dion|French Chicks|Unsorted

Archive for the Celine Dion Category