My only Christina Aguilera story is that I sided with her during the Britney and X-Tina wars, I just thought her petite body would outlast Britney’s clearly genetically predisposed to get fat body.

I even made a bet with a friend that in my lifetime, I would have sex with Christina Aguilera, it was more of a joke than anything, I didn’t actually believe it, but then one day it happened…and we had two kids and lived happily ever after in her mansion….where I continued the blog as a pervert in a basement apartment with a fat wife, because I did have a fat wife, it just happened that fat wife was X-tina….and the basement apartment was lounging by the pool..

Yes…this is me…

Obviously, that is not how thing panned out, but I didn’t think their careers would continue for as long as they have, 20 years later. Her singing always annoyed me…but the day she got fake tits for her tiny frame….I was like “all down hill from here…..I didn’t think that X-tina would eat her feelings, or fill her void from the trauma of being raised without a dad, after officially making it and securing herself. I did think she’d end up broke and working as a stripper somewhere, that you could hire her out for private parties, hence the whole making a bet that I would have sex with her….

Well, she’s still got the fake tits and they’ are doing some weirdness…and when it comes to tits…they can do whatever the hell they want, I’ll still stare.

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Christina Aguilera is old as shit, so old that she needs to tape up her tits before her shows. Young girls would never be caught dead taping their tits unless they identified as trans or as “THEY” and felt the need to bind their chests so that they can pull off being “GENDERLESS” better….

I assume that as Christina Aguilera tries to cash in on her bullshit career into her 40s, because she is in her 40s or soon to be in her 40s, she’s forced to squeeze her now fat body into racy outfits…and like most grannies those things are a fucking hazard or liability and can cause real fucking injury when you let them out there on their own and put confidence in them that they won’t slip out of their top and hit a motherfucker in the face…

Then again, maybe she tapes the nips for fear of a nip slip cuz her nips are so hacked up from all the implants she’s had.

Who fucking knows, it’s just weird especially when you think about her early on, being this hot tiny pop slut…now clunky like an old cow being taken to pasture because it doesn’t produce milk anymore.

Weird.

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Christina Aguilera is rocking a champagne bottle like she was a club photographer back a few years ago, when everyone used to have fun in the club, and Champagne showers was something they were all keen on getting filmed doing…then the whole #metoo thing happened and every girl became a rape victim even if they weren’t raped they managed to dig through the archives of their mind to find something remotely similar to sexual assualt to fit in….and men became the enemy, singled out, targeted and hated….so men started turning themselves into women…taking the hormones, looking fabulous like they were Christina Aguilera…forced to jack off a champagne bottle cuz they no longer had a dick cuz it was cut the fuck off….in the transition.

The world is nuts. Cutting off the nuts…

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Good thing Christina Aguilera hasn’t gone over the top with the face injections. Channeling her inner Aubrey O’Day….like all the girls are doing…Making her another 40 year old fat popstar who was hugely famous, but is now just huge, looking like some kind of circus clown which I guess she actually is thanks to pop culture for all the money, memories and real fucking mental issues…head to head with Britney in popularity only to end up way bigger than Britney….in size….

I do appreciate the big titty being pulled out….which isn’t really winning that Britney rivalry, but it is winning our hearts and boners…nostalgia is better left in the past.

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It must really be halloween – because Christina Aguilera has dusted off her fat mom pussy, squeezed it into a bunch of costumes…and proceeded to perform in LA this past weekend….Her thighs…as terrifying as most 40 year old mom thighs…she’s definitely not dressed like the Slender Man this year…but instead..like someone who ate the Slender Man…

Now give this bootleg Mariah Carey a pizza to replenish the calories lost on stage.

I wonder what kind of cheese that outfit smells like now…I’m thinking Blue Cheese.

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This is already old news, I mean since everyone in the world is appalled, or happy, that the moron that is Trump is your new leader, whereas everyone just assumed the evil snake woman that is Hillary was going to make it through – because of her political experience that has made her worth hundreds of million of dollars…because a moron with no experience may be just what the world needs…and Trump, with all his silly bigotry targeting what America is clearly into…not all of america – but a lot of America…and the whole thing was viral marketing at it’s best. That’s social media for ruining humanity….not that I think Clinton was best, I don’t even think her losing had anything to her having a vagina, because I’d argue that she doesn’t even have a vagina…but rather an evil black hole that eats souls…

But Aguilera…there’s a vagina I can endorse…all thick and big tittied…all damaged from baby making…all lovely and magical…good times…

I also like when these people publicly endorse politics and don’t make a difference…because it’s amazing to see these winners lose…especially when they have big tits.

10 years ago I bet a friend I would fuck Aguilera before dying…and as I get closer and closer to death…I’m pretty sure that’s never going to happen…so when I look at her tits – I am reminded of another one of my failures…#NeverSucceed..

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