A couple of years ago…I was face to face with Cindy Crawford and at the time I had no idea it was Cindy Crawford…because I have facial recognition blindness…

What I did know is that the bitch looking back at me was substantial…something you don’t get from a random street hooker or party slut at the club…

That’s not to say she was classy, because I am sure she’s pulled her own slut moves, and licked the right ass to get wherever she needed to be in the 90s…

It is to say, that whatever even in her late 40s…this woman, at least physically, because I doubt any model has an actual soul, because they are robots, clearly with well programmed robot eyes, to make me want to buy whatever the fuck she was selling…

She just raped my soul with one glance and I am really not the guy to fall for that shit ever…making me think…there’s some evil scientist behind this operation…especially today…watching this V-Magazine shit…while she’s in her 50s…it makes no sense…she must drink lots of water..or maybe…she’s just a fucking robot…who knows…

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Cindy Crawford is a fucking dream. I know I am supposed to be disgusted by old ladies, but this one, this one’s special and not even because I used to jerk off to her in the 90s when she was supermodeling, but because I crossed paths with her once, and her “it factor”…the same “it factor” that made her a celebrity in the first place…pretty much melted my soul.

I guess some people just have an energy, or what it takes to win the people around them over, and some people, like supermodels, no how to make love with their eyes, and pretty much ruin anything in a 10 block radius.

Seriously, after the day I crossed paths with her, I’ve never been the same, no girl has been close to this greatness, and all the bitches I fucked, despite having no standards, were that much more unappealing.

I am a fan of this shoot for the latest issue of MUSE…but more importantly, I am a fan of ejaculating on printouts of it…because that’s as close as I’ll get to this loveliness.

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Cindy Crawford is lovely as fuck. Sure she’s old, tired, washed up, haggard even, but I think she’s a delicate flower still in bloom, despite what her menopause and dried up pussy is saying.

Maybe I have a soft spot for 1993, when she really fucking mattered, and I have a hard time moving on, or maybe I just like bitches with moles.

But I am going to assume it’s got more to do with running into her on the street once as she was getting out of her town car and walking into her hotel, and we exchanged glances, and when our eyes locked, part of me died, because it was amazing, magical and exactly how she worked the camera….reminding me that she’s fuckin’ good at looking good and here she is proving she’s still got it for Harper’s Bazaar Spain….

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I wonder if I will ever get over the time Cindy Crawford and I exchanged glances, and like a scene from a movie…the world stopped for a second as the sound of angels singing filled my ears and a sparkle shined off her smile and eyes….in what was the closest thing I’ve felt to God…and I went into that union of our souls…not giving a fuck about her…I was always into the one who ended up with David Copperfield…but this babe just sucked me in…all 50 year old mom and all…

So seeing her back on the model scene…posing and looking at the camera like she’s calling my name to find her and hard cuddle her…you know shower her with love…and fill her menopause up with my seed….is glorious….here are the pics.

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Cindy Crawford did a shoot with Terry Richardson…that went a little something like this….ejaculating champagne bottles being all suggestive like a porn..like she wasn’t 50….and shit makes me want to do the same fucking thing to her….if only I had a penis that still worked…seriously…this is amazing…I have never wanted to be such an elegant beverage for classy people so bad…

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Madison Magazine has reminded me what I used to masturbate to Cindy Crawford in the 90s….cuz I’d masturbate to her now….if my penis was able to perform such tasks…but hard living and a disgusting wife has made us our very own circus performer…one that can’t perform tricks…unless being impotent is a trick…but I feel like if I really focus and forget all the smut I’ve digested over the years leading to someone who can’t really get into anything….Cindy Crawford may be the one to save me….yep…she’s fully clothed and I felt something move….you see cuz that’s her fucking super power…

I’m into it, even if I generally like more exposed Uterus in my retired model pics.

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Cindy Crawford is and old thing in a new package and as much as I generally hate old things in any package…except maybe a snow suit…I am kinda into this Cindy Crawford old thing…cuz models just age better than regular humans cuz models are vain, image obsessed and scared the world will judge them when they fall off like they were Anna Nicole Smith…cuz there is nothing the catty, haters want to see more than someone so celebrated for being a babe…no longer a babe….and by the looks of it…Cindy Crawford is winning this fight….and I’m not just saying that cuz we had a moment and exchanged glances once and she smiled at me….as our souls connected a couple of years ago…I’m saying that cuz she’s good.

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People hate on Cindy Crawford every time I post on how amazing she is…but I have seen her in person…and it turns out that she’s fucking amazing…we exchanged smiles…made eye contact…as she entered her hotel years ago….and probably thought I was a homeless guy…or someone with downs syndrome down on his luck who needed a little pick me up…when in reality…all I needed was for her to sit on my face…

That said…she’s in December’s Shape…and I love her….even though historically…I hate old bitches….

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Cindy Crawford is amazing. Many years ago, I was standing on a street corner as I often do, because I don’t have a job and never really know how to fill up my days and an SUV pulled up next to me….and this tall, amazing looking woman got out….it was Cindy Crawford, I was next to her hotel, it wasn’t like she made the driver pull over to sit on my face, as most girls do, but she did smile at me, or maybe she was laughing at me, as she walked into the hotel, and part of me died…because I realized they don’t make crackwhores this good….and I only have sex with crackwhores…and I will always only have sex with crackwhores…and this Cindy Crawford bitch opened a door to a new world…a world I’m not invited into…except when looking, and by looking I mean masturbating to her photoshoot pics….even though she’s 50 something and that alone is normally disgusting…but she is defies all odds…or some shit….who cares…look at the pics.

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I love my titties with Giant font on them…..

Cindy Crawford has more than just great hai…she’s got a great fucking body…and there was a 30 second window where I was accidentally next to her a few years back…she smiled at me and I fucking realized why models are models and regular chicks are regular chicks….it’s got something to do with models…even in their 50s looking fucking amazing….on a whole other level of amazing…so whenever I see her tits in magazines…even non nude…I feel obligated to at least try to jerk off to the shit like old times cuz she’s still got it going on….

I don’t know what this french revue shit is, sounds to pretentious to me…but I do know what cleavage is…and that shit is always good for me…

Here’s the videos….

Here’s the picture….

Sharon Stone was also in the mag..I guess they are doing a “Oldtimers you used to jerk off to and occassionally try to jerk off to still” feature……not worthy of its own post…

If this post bored you…here is Cindy Crawford in 1993 doing some kind of exercise…..for 15 minutes…

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