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Archive for the Denise Richards Category

2008

16

Jun

Denise Richards and Her Friends Rock the Stripper Pole of the Day

If you’re wondering why I am not posting – it’s for 2 reasons. The first is that I came to Toronto (a city in Canada) to try to crash the MMVA’s. They are some shitty half rate, Canadian award show that badly copies the VMAs, but I couldn’t get into the event, because they take themselves too seriously and they don’t take me seriously at all. The good news is that I did get drunk. and now I am hungover.

The other reason is that the dude who said I could stay with him, put me into some dusty fucking closet of a room with no windows and I have asthma and can’t breathe when I am in dust, and could have died, but lived and it turns out the internet he promised me sucks bigger dicks than the Perez Hilton party I sneaked into hoping to jump the motherfuckin’ smurf and his pink hair and not in a way he would like to be jumped because based on his look, I can only assume he longs to be touched by another living, breathing human, even if it is in bouts of rage.

Either way, What the fuck is this Denise Richards show Bullshit, I can’t believe that this garbage is on fuckin’ TV. When sluts like Denise Richards make claims that taking time out for herself and her friends to play around with sex toys and stripper poles really got her out of her rut, it makes me wonder where all her time is going since she looks like she’s a self absorbed cunt and considering she hasn’t had work in years, I feel like she has ample time for herself, I mean except of course for her little kids that have been a huge mistake because they aren’t just like dogs who you can put to sleep when you are done with them and you have to take time to make sure they are fed, washed, clothed and on time for ballet classes. Something that takes away from Denise Richards’ me time, which up until the kids was 100 percent of the time and is now about 99 percent of the time, since there are nannies on staff to handle them. Greedy, self righteous bullshit is offensive to me and shouldn’t be on TV.

I guess in all fairness, this whore needs to practice because based on the way she’s putting herself out there to look like a piece of fucking garbage, it’ll be a skill that comes in handy when shaking her old haggard ass on stage.

Here is Denise Richards Talking about her really busy schedule that sounds scripted to shit and the whole stripper pole party stemmed from her not finding the time to wax her fuckin’ bush and her cunt friend stepping in telling her to make time for herself. This show is embarrassing to watch.

Posted in:Denise Richards|Friends|Stripper Pole

2008

09

Jun

Denise Richards Knows Her Self Worth of the Day

I was watching this video of Denise Richards having a spray tan, as I tend to do on monday mornings, and I was happy to see that bitch knows her self-worth.

Not only does her spray tanner have the most ridiculous job in the fuckin’ world, where she pretty much gets paid to go around to useless celebrity houses to airbrush their naked bodies, but this one’s got the added bonus of being Denise Richard’s hired self-esteem booster. As she hoses her down and makes her brown, , she has to throw out all the fuckin’ compliments about how good her body is and ask whether she’s been working out to make Denise Richards feel better about her fleeting looks and body due to being a lazy cunt, like the whipped husband who is trained to tell his wife how pretty she still looks, even though deep down inside he knows he jerks off to the neighbor’s 18 year old, because Denise Richards doesn’t have a husband.

The highlight of the video is when she grabs her tits and says something along the lines of “these babies made me a couple million dollars” letting us all know that even she knows that she’s a talentless whore and only got where she got by sucking the right dick and showing the right amount of Tit. Watch it.

Posted in:Denise Richards|Spray Tan

2008

25

Apr

Denise Richards Bikini Pictures of the Day

Denise never had much to offer the world other than her sex scene with Neve Campbell in Wild Things. As much as I hated that movie, there’s just something about seeing two sluts get it on for Kevin Bacon that would make me think shit was overlooked for an Academy Award. It’s that kind of cinematic history that is only remembered by perverts and dudes who rent movies based on the level of nudity they have in them and it’s too bad that shit was the peak of her career because way back then, she was actually hot. Here she is trying to hold onto that sex appeal by running around in a Bikini in some staged photoshoot to draw publicity to her new show. If I was on the beach, which I am not and haven’t been on in years because I don’t live the celebrity life of luxury, I wouldn’t mind lookin’ at her in hopes of a vagina lip hangin’ out but the second a younger, tighter body walks by this hag, I’ll be getting my creep on elsewhere. It’s one of those better than nothing situations like the time you jerked off to your sister on a family camping trip because it was between her and your mom and jerking off to your mom just felt too wrong…

Posted in:Bikini|Denise Richards|Tits

2008

24

Apr

Denise Richards Paddle Surfs of the Day

I am pretty depressed today because I found out that my piece of shit computer that I got for 40 dollars and that broke on me this past weekend died because of its hard drive. Now that may not mean much to any of you who only use your but it’s a big deal to me because I was writing my memoirs and had at least 20 pages that I won’t be able to recreate because I was drunk when I wrote them and never re-read them and was saving them as some kind of surprise a surprise I will not be able to ever experience. The good news is that everyone I tell this to asks me if I did a back-up, ask why I didn’t do a back-up and tell me that I should have done a back-up because that’s what they are for. Thanks for the advice, asshole.

At least I can get pleasure from looking at these useless pictures of a useless Denise Richards doing a useless paddle surf because it’s real surfing’s gay younger brother all while in a useless bikini top because her body is sloppy, therefore useless and has no need for a bikini top, and it’s all for a useless reality show that shell make a lot more money on than I ever but at least I am not the only one that’s useless in the world.

Posted in:Bikini Top|Denise Richards