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Archive for the Denise Richards Category

2009

23

Jun

Denise Richards Bikini Pictures of the Day

I read something about Denise Richards having downsized her tits because her D-Cups were too ridiculous for her size 0 frame, but the sad thing that she didn’t realize was that her D-Cups were the only reason she was getting work, so killin off her tits, was directly responsible for killin’ off her career, but the good news for her is that she can ride off of Charlie Sheen’s money, that’s what getting knocked up by a rich dude is all about at least that is what this gay dude who wanted to get me pregnant told me, but I knew he was up to something cuz I don’t have a uterus.

Posted in:Bikini|Denise Richards

2009

23

Apr

Denise Richards and Her Funbags for Funny or Die of the Day

I hate 99% of FunnyorDie’s content. I hate the people I meet who love the shit. I hate the type of comedy it promotes and the type of copycat amateurs it has created. If you ever come across someone who starts bragging about being on featured on FunnyorDie, you will realize why.

I hate 95% of anything Will Farrell has been touched, except maybe Old School, Anchorman and a couple of highclass escorts he’s been involved in, but in my defense, I haven’t seen those since they came out and I’ve been drunk the past couple of decades, so maybe I just saw them on a good day. I do know that I recently saw the skating movie and I was begging for a plane to crash into the building like it was 9/11. Seriously that fucking bad.

I hate the word funbag. It reminds me of college jocks, slappin’ dicks in excitement for the hot set of tits they saw on this broad at Spring Break, you know the one drunk and based out that they gang raped.

So natural, I hate this Denise Richards funny or die clip about her funbags…

Posted in:Denise Richards|Funbags|Funny or Die

2009

27

Feb

Denise Richards and Her Dancing With the Stars Bullshit of the Day

I love how the paparazzi are whining like bitches trying to get the shot of Denise Richards because it will put food on the table for them and their immigrant family for another night. You can tell in their desperate cries that they really hate the girl with the backpack on and would kill her if they could, like they did to Princess Dianna and Anna Nicole Smith, just to get the fucking story….useless fucking existence, welcome to my life.

Posted in:Dancing With the Stars|Denise Richards|Tank Top

2009

26

Feb

Denise Richards is Dancing with the Stars of the Day

I don’t know why I am wasting my time on these Denise Richards pictures, I assume it’s gotta do with how I waste my time on pictures of useless people everyday, it’s a distraction from actually living and having to come to terms with how shit life really is, like seeing Denise Richards on Dancing with the Stars, when I used to think she had so much potential in her life back in that lesbian scene she did with Kevin Bacon, only to end up divorced, cheated on, a failed reality star, hanging on by a fucking thread by doing the one thing that will take her and she’s lookin pretty fit while doin’ it. Good times.

Posted in:cleavage|Dancing With the Stars|Denise Richards

2008

10

Oct

Denise Richards Has a Serious Mom Ass of the Day

Denise Richard’s looks like she’s finally broken down and dug deep into the depths of her closet to pull out a pair of her fat jeans she kept in the event she ever went back to her original fat self, from before she was famous. That’s the only explination I have for these 1990 jeans that look like they were worn to a Poison concert before she fucked 3/4 of the band and the idea of getting with them was just high school masturbation fantasies that she realized would only get played out if she stopped getting seconds and eating desert and started getting cast in movies as the slut who will take her shirt off. I guess now that the dreams have all been realized, she’s on that slippery slope back to where she came from and I guess we should embrace what we see today, because like the woman you married getting too comfortable, it’s only going to get worse and there really is no end in sight…..I guess the good news is that we all have access to her prime by watching all the shitty movies she did naked so that we can try to forget the horrible reality of where she is now.

Posted in:Denise Richards|Mom Ass

2008

15

Jul

Denise Richards Chases the Paparazzi When Topless of the Day

I know I am a couple of days late on this shit, but I am sure it hardly matters because I am hoping this isn’t a show you really stay on top of, but I think that’s giving you too much credit and forgetting the fact that you are an obsessive weirdo who can’t let go of the past and who still think Denise Richards is the hottest piece to ever to walk the earth.

I guess she still relies on sex appeal shit to get her paid, like some kind of prostitute, beause her show seems to always revolve around her running around naked, talking about being naked or like the clip above tanning topless and chasing paparazzi but this shit is so fucking staged that I feel like I am watching an episode of the Hills and knowing that paparazzi is actually a paid actor and not actually a second rate illegal immigrant who climbs trees, it ruins the potential of this clip, but not as much as the censor blur the network put over her tits. It makes me feel like a 12 year old getting my stolen porn ripped out from under my mattress by my local minister trying to guilt me into not jerking off and into hating women so that I go back to his quarters and suck him off or some shit.

If they wanted any fucking viewers of this shit, they would have realized that anyone depressed enough to watch the Denise Richard’s show, would be perverted dudes hoping to see her naked again, because in their mind, they are married her in 1994 only she doesn’t know it yet, but will appreciate their committment when she finally does meet them and hears stories of how they haven’t been with any other women in the last 14 years because their hearts belong to her. I guess it’s time for a bit of a reality check, because even she knows she isn’t what she used to be and here’s some more video of her whining about being fat to prove it and to mock any acutal fat chick who would die for her body that they are really really fatter and more disgusting than they thought before seeing this cunt.

BONUS – DENISE RICHARDS WEIGHS HERSELF NUDE AND THINKS SHE’S FAT

BONUS – DENISE RICHARDS TRIES ON BIKINIS AND THINKS SHE’S FAT

BONUS – DENISE RICHARDS TRIES ON BIKINI AND THINKS SHE’S FAT

Posted in:Denise Richards|Topless|TV Show

2008

03

Jul

Denise Richards and Her Tight Pants Ride Bikes of the Day

Here are some pictures of Denise Richards in a pair of tight pants riding a bike, because despite being annoying as fuck she’s still hot enough for her Nephew to jerk off to her , so that’s gotta say something about her, even though when I was 14, I was jerking off to my foster mother’s dirty underwear that I’d steal from the laundry basket, National Geographic and my neighbor suntanning in her backyard. It was a time before porn was accessible and it was really the only way to get rid of the chronic erections I had. I guess none of this matters, but you should tryto sort out Denise Richard’s vagina definition from these pics, is like some kind of puzzle and I heard puzzles are good for expanding your brain, something you need.

Posted in:Bike|Denise Richards|Tight Pants

2008

02

Jul

Denise Richard’s Nephew Checks Out Her Playboy Spread

Since my computer has AIDS, I figured I’d post this video of Denise Richards potentially setting her nephew up for a future that has a high risk of AIDS. Not only does she talk to him about her Playboy spread but also brings up her threesome in Wild Things with Neve Campbell and Kevin Bacon and the little dude pretty much admitted to seeing “clips” of it probably when googling his Aunts name.

All Denise did when she had “that talk” with the dude was admit that she is someone who gets naked for money, but she didn’t really get into how it’s wrong to get turned on by your aunt and that it’s wrong to masturbate to images of your aunt dyking out, because family may come first, but family isn’t supposed to make you come at all. That’s the kind of shit that leads you to drugs or suicide.

Either way, from now on, no girl he meets will or gets with will be as hot or as good as his aunt and when he realizes that getting off to your aunt is fucked up, when other kids are going to their aunt’s house for dinner, while this punk is going to his aunt’s house to hide in the closet and jerk off while she’s changing until he gets caught and the guilt of being some freak who can only get turned on by his own family member is going to throw this motherfucker into homosexuality, at least that’s my prediction. It’s one of those all women make me think about how fucked in the head I am and all tits make me think of my aunt so I’ll just stay the fuck away from tits….situation.

This clip is 4 days old, I’m the first to admit I am slow movin.

Posted in:Denise Richards|Nephew|Playboy

2008

16

Jun

Denise Richards and Her Friends Rock the Stripper Pole of the Day

If you’re wondering why I am not posting – it’s for 2 reasons. The first is that I came to Toronto (a city in Canada) to try to crash the MMVA’s. They are some shitty half rate, Canadian award show that badly copies the VMAs, but I couldn’t get into the event, because they take themselves too seriously and they don’t take me seriously at all. The good news is that I did get drunk. and now I am hungover.

The other reason is that the dude who said I could stay with him, put me into some dusty fucking closet of a room with no windows and I have asthma and can’t breathe when I am in dust, and could have died, but lived and it turns out the internet he promised me sucks bigger dicks than the Perez Hilton party I sneaked into hoping to jump the motherfuckin’ smurf and his pink hair and not in a way he would like to be jumped because based on his look, I can only assume he longs to be touched by another living, breathing human, even if it is in bouts of rage.

Either way, What the fuck is this Denise Richards show Bullshit, I can’t believe that this garbage is on fuckin’ TV. When sluts like Denise Richards make claims that taking time out for herself and her friends to play around with sex toys and stripper poles really got her out of her rut, it makes me wonder where all her time is going since she looks like she’s a self absorbed cunt and considering she hasn’t had work in years, I feel like she has ample time for herself, I mean except of course for her little kids that have been a huge mistake because they aren’t just like dogs who you can put to sleep when you are done with them and you have to take time to make sure they are fed, washed, clothed and on time for ballet classes. Something that takes away from Denise Richards’ me time, which up until the kids was 100 percent of the time and is now about 99 percent of the time, since there are nannies on staff to handle them. Greedy, self righteous bullshit is offensive to me and shouldn’t be on TV.

I guess in all fairness, this whore needs to practice because based on the way she’s putting herself out there to look like a piece of fucking garbage, it’ll be a skill that comes in handy when shaking her old haggard ass on stage.

Here is Denise Richards Talking about her really busy schedule that sounds scripted to shit and the whole stripper pole party stemmed from her not finding the time to wax her fuckin’ bush and her cunt friend stepping in telling her to make time for herself. This show is embarrassing to watch.

Posted in:Denise Richards|Friends|Stripper Pole

2008

09

Jun

Denise Richards Knows Her Self Worth of the Day

I was watching this video of Denise Richards having a spray tan, as I tend to do on monday mornings, and I was happy to see that bitch knows her self-worth.

Not only does her spray tanner have the most ridiculous job in the fuckin’ world, where she pretty much gets paid to go around to useless celebrity houses to airbrush their naked bodies, but this one’s got the added bonus of being Denise Richard’s hired self-esteem booster. As she hoses her down and makes her brown, , she has to throw out all the fuckin’ compliments about how good her body is and ask whether she’s been working out to make Denise Richards feel better about her fleeting looks and body due to being a lazy cunt, like the whipped husband who is trained to tell his wife how pretty she still looks, even though deep down inside he knows he jerks off to the neighbor’s 18 year old, because Denise Richards doesn’t have a husband.

The highlight of the video is when she grabs her tits and says something along the lines of “these babies made me a couple million dollars” letting us all know that even she knows that she’s a talentless whore and only got where she got by sucking the right dick and showing the right amount of Tit. Watch it.

Posted in:Denise Richards|Spray Tan