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Archive for the DJ AM Category

2008

20

Sep

DJ AM and Travis Barker Were Critically Injured in a Private Jet Crash of the Day

I know I make fun of DJ AM all the time, I call him gayer than bicycle shorts and it’s gone on for so long that he has personally told me and people I know that I am a pain in the ass, and when I met him a couple of times when he was randomly DJing events locally, he was always a decent guy to me, so I almost felt bad about teasing him, but continued doing it anyway because I am an asshole.

Just last night I was talking to a dude who was going to bring in these guys to play a show here and who was telling me how AM just got hired as Kanye’s new DJ and despite popular belief, I never talk about AM in my everyday life so it was weird to wake up this morning to a text message from my German whore fucker, saying that AM almost died in a plane crash and I felt responsible for possibly wishing death upon him in various posts over the years. The truth is that I don’t hate AM and I don’t think he deserves to die, or be in plane crashes. I just thought he was accessible enough and an easy target.

Either way, thanks to some miracle, probably the same miracle that got AM rich for spinning records in the first place, AM and Barker survived with a whole lot of burns to their bodies and are in critical condition but Travis Barker’s assistant and bodyguard died and so did 2 other people. I guess there’s more info to come from this story and despite my constant teasing, I wish both these dudes the best of luck and a speedy recovery.

I blame Shanna Moakler and just don’t understand why something like this doesn’t happen to someone who deserves it, like the stars of The Hills or something…..ya know!?

The pilot, Sarah Lemmon who died was a woman…I don’t trust a woman to drive a car, mow the lawn, pretty much do anything let alone fly a fuckin’ plane, this is an example of how letting women out of the kitchen and into the work force doing man jobs just doesn’t work. AM and Barker should have got off the plane the second she greeted them with the flight plan before they took off…I know I would. I’m just saying….what? too soon?

See the Plane’s Wreckage and Read the Story
HERE

Posted in:DJ AM|Plane Crash|Travis Barker

2007

21

Sep

I am – Nicole Richie Leaves Town of the Day

nicole_richie_airport9.jpg

Here are some pictures of a pregnant Nicole Richie leaving town with her lame as fuck baby daddy, provided the baby makes it out of the womb alive. I assume that she’s had so much dick in her that her small frame’s got some big vagina and I wouldn’t be surprised if the baby’s already fallen out and into the toilet when she’s taking a shit forcing her to push it all back in place and using hair elastics to lock it all into place….so that it has a semi-normal development.

Reality is that someone like Joel Madden doesn’t deserve to get a girl pregnant, even if it’s someone as useless to the world a Nicole Richie. He is the kind of guy who girls double up their birth control with, so that they don’t have to be stuck to him for life because even they know how fucking lame he is. I can only assume that this motherfucker sabotaged her pill and ripped his condom tip to make this shit happen, knowing very well that Nicole’s numerous botched abortions from her past made getting another one impossible.

Speaking of Nicole Richie’s Vagina…DJ AM has been ignoring my emails for the last 2 years, so I sent him this one:

why you gotta ignore me…
don’t be so fucking sensitive
it breaks my heart to think i’ve hurt your feelings
or annoyed you…
i heard you hate me…
i don’t get why…
it’s totally unecessary
I feel like were’ in elementary school
and I’ve been stealing your lunch money for a month or some shit and your mom just called the school to complain..

lighten the fuck up

love

jesus

He finally responded for the first time in 2 years….

I dont hate you at all! I just think your corny and stalkerish… 🙂

So I wrote him asking him to play my stepFEST Tour, which doesn’t exist but it could…

would you play a DrunkenStepfather party for me?

And he wrote back :

no.. read your review.. Im “gay and suck and shouldn’t DJ” or something like that lol

That’s as close as I get to someone in LA who banged Nicole Richie and now I am sharing it with you. But the good news is that he’s been getting my emails all these years, he’s just been ignoring them….so it goes to show you that my constant harassing actually got through to him so my mom was right, hard work does pay off…too bad this gets me pretty much nothing…but that’s all I expect from myself….because I suck at life.


Related Posts:

Nicole Richie Pregnancy Tits
Nicole Richie’s Sheer Maternity Top
Nicole RIchie’s Pregnant Guy
The Reason DJ AM Thinks I am a Stalker – stepTV

Posted in:Airport|DJ AM|Joel Madden|Nicole Richie|Pregnant|Unsorted

2007

21

May

I am – DJ AM is Gayer than Bicycle Shorts of the Day

I emailed DJ AM a while ago because I heard he was playing in Montreal. He never emailed me back. I asked him for guestlist because I figured we were friends, you know with me always speaking so highly of him and shit, but I was wrong. The motherfucker never emailed me back, he never put me on the list and I was forced to go through one of my stepdaughter’s friends to get in because DJ AM is a fucking cocksucker.

I got to the event and it was filled with so many fucking chachi pieces of shit. I felt like it was a Diesel Jeans sample sale and every Italian and his cousin came out to get a deal. AM came in with 4 bodyguards because he feels like he is more important than he really is and this is a video of him and one of his boyfriends trying to fix his DJ set up. I knew when I saw them that their relationship consisted of more than just fixing DJ equipment but this was as close as I got to the asshole giving the dude with the flashlight a rim job…

I left after 10 minutes because there is only so much overpaid Bar Mitvah DJing that I can handle and I heard dude made 6,000 dollars to play for all these fucking losers, and that probably means that this fucker is overpaid and that even though this video won’t make me 6,000 dollars, at least I go to bed knowing that I didn’t get to the top by sticking my lame penis up in Nicole Richie’s 90 pound cooch, not that I wouldn’t, but I just didn’t.

I may be drunk and this may be a drunk edit, but I think if you focus on the video, you can tell that DJ AM is a popstar that is Gayer than Bicycle shorts. The way this cocksucker handles his vinyl will make any queer dream of him diddling their anus….That means you….Homo… Cuddles…

PS – DJ AM, Next Time You Should Put Me On the Guestlist. Asshole.

Posted in:DJ|DJ AM|Gayer Than Bicycle Shorts|Hipster|Party|stepTV|Uncategorized|Unsorted