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Archive for the ebay Category

2009

21

Oct

Shauna Sand Scary Halloween Ebay Auction Video of the Day

I guess the sex tape wasn’t enough evidence that Shauna Sand is broke, but Heyman Hustle went out and got an exclusive video of Shauna Sand’s recent desperation for cash that comes in the form of an ebay auction.

She did a little intro showing off her stupid fake tits in a bikini, and looked and sounded like a medicated or possessed plastic zombie or sex doll. It was was perfect for this time of year, but still pretty scary even if it is Halloween everyday for this cunt.

Watch the video, it’s fucking strange.


For Heyman Hustle
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Shauna Sand Sex Tape Clips Exclusive

Posted in:ebay|Halloween|Shauna Sand

2008

18

Dec

Buy Scarlett Johannson’s Used Kleenex of the Day

So Scarlett Johansson was on Leno, she claimed she had a cold she got from Samuel Jackson, and they decided to auction this shit….

Here’s the ebay discription:

During her 12/17/08 appearance on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Scarlett Johansson blamed her cold on The Spirit co-star Samuel L. Jackson, saying she caught it from him. She believed that for this reason her cold had some “value.” During her appearance on The Tonight Show, she blew her nose into a tissue provided by Jay Leno. All proceeds of this sale will benefit USA Harvest, the charity of Scarlett Johansson’s choice.

That’s a really weird fetish , because anyone buying anything Johansson is doing it for sexual reasons, especailly when they are paying 2000 dollars for a dirty fucking Kleenex and I don’t know how they are getting away with it because the one time I tried selling my wife’s soiled panties on ebacy, because shit was gross and I knew that some dudes out there like gross, and are willing to pay for gross, you know putting her crusty shit on standing in front of the mirror, or rubbing it on their faces so they can smell her dirty ass but for some reason ebay kept pulling my auctions and banned my account….

But when you are NBC and a celebrity, you can take your germ filled kleenex to ebay for some kind of publicity stunt, that is hyngeinically just as disgusting as my wife’s shit stains, and you know anyone paying 2,000 dollars for this is not going to be doing anything wholesome with this shit, they are probably planning on cloning her, because it is time to replace that sex doll with Johansson’s picture taped to its face, with a real Johansson….Weird Science.


Check out this weird auction. I am really hung the fuck over…
GO

Posted in:ebay|Scarlett Johansson|Used Kleenex

2008

25

Nov

Kim Kardashian Does Ebay of the Day

So I have some fake Kim Kardashian on Facebook. The other day, some dude or creepy person who jerks off to her profile all day hoping she answers him, wrote something on her wall “have a sweet Sunday” and I responded hoping to get deleted as a friend while leaving my mark by saying something like “every day for Kim Kardashian is sweet, but that’s just because she can’t stop eating cake”, or something like that. They kept me as a friend, because I assume some bitter assistant or person pretending to be Kim Kardashian thinks it is funny, because even though they work for her, they still can’t fucking stand her and her bullshit cunt ways, or maybe there’s a small possibility it is actually her and since she doesn’t know how to read, or since it is true, or since she thinks I am complimenting her, she kept me around….

Anyway, whoever is running that facebook profile posted a link to Kim Kardashian’s charity ebay auction that I had no idea existed.

Want to buy my Range Rover or any of my cloth???
Today at 7:41am

We are on the homepage of Ebay today auctioning off some of our most prized possessions!

I’m auctioning off my Range Rover, Reggie is giving up his Mercedes and Kourtney has made her Maserati available!

Check out our auction page to get all of the details. A portion of the proceeds goes to my favorite charity, the Dream Foundation!!!

Happy bidding!

XOXO,
Kim

She is selling off clothes, shoes, accessories, and cars, like this down on her luck stipper I know, who turned to the internet to sell her used panties to perverts because she heard she can make money off it. Sure proceeds of the strippers online panty shop don’t really go to charity, unless you consider her obscene amount of abortions a science experiment, but a percentage of Kim Kardashian’s auctions go to Charity, I guess you know with being a greedy little fame whore, with all the money in the world, who probably didn’t pay for any of the shit she’s selling, it’s only natural to give 5% of the sale to fat camps, or other relevant charities, so she doesn’t look like the greedy fucking pig that we all know she is.

Here’s a Sample of some of the things she is selling:

Kim Kardashian’s STRIKING Checkered Bustier


Bid to own Kim Kardashian’s top!! STRIKING Red and White checkered top, bustier style. Demi. There is a row of red fabric covered buttons up front, center. Adjustable straps have large ruffle detail. Smocked on the sides for stretch and detail. Back zip, measures 19″ from top of sleeve to bottom. Cute and can be doubled as a table cloth, it is that big.

Kim Kardashian’s MYSTIQUE thongs


Bid to own Kim Kardashian’s top!! MYSTIQUE thongs. Named the MYSTIQUE because some of the world’s top scientists and designers collaborated in what is considered one of Man’s greatest accomplishments, to find a way to fit Kim Kardashian’s bottom heavy figure into a thong, with comfort and the safety of the people around her in mind.

Kim’s White Range Rover

Want the paparazzi to mistake you for Kim as you pull up at the club? It could happen – bid on her famous and signature vehicle, a 2006 white Supercharged Range Rover, and live the glamorous life of Kim Kardashian! In addition to the star power this Ranger Rover brings with it. Kim recently had the pink accents and trim removed to create a more stylish look. It was also featured along with Kim on the cover of the June 2007 issue of DUB Magazine.

This vehicle has been well maintained, has low mileage, and is in excellent condition. It is clean inside and out, and has been regularly serviced. The custom sound system includes two JL Audio 500/1 and one 300/4 amps, two 12-inch W6-V2 subwoofers, and two pairs of 6.5-inch compone

Reinforced Suspension to Support Kim’s Fat ass and Doublewide seats to allow her to fit in the car and feel like a normal person, instead of the fat slob that she is could be great for other people battling with obesity.

90 percent of cum stains have been bleached out.

Check Out Kim Kardashian’s Auctions If You”re Some Pervert Who Wants to Jerk Off In Her Shoe, Purse or Range Rover or if you want to see greedy rich people trying to make more money off free shit by masking it as a charity, even though it’s just another way to line her cunt pockets…There’s video on some of the auctions….I was too lazy to pull that shit and post it here, so you’ll have to do some diggin’ yourself you lazy fuck….
GO

Here’s a screenshot of my facebook stupidities….

Posted in:ebay|Kim Kardashian

2007

05

Jul

I am – ebay Slut of the Day

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I am not a very good business person, because if I was, I probably wouldn’t be doing this site, but I do know that marketing is pretty fucking basic on the internet. If you want people to look at your shit, you need to post pictures of sluts. So this ebay vendor who sells used clothes, found a slut in his hometown and got her to model the shit he is selling.

The reason I am posting this is almost out of sympathy. I know girls like this bitch who think they are a lot fucking hotter than they are. They dress in slutty cheap clothes, give off crazy attitude, get breast implants, lame tattoos, double tongue piercings and bad dye jobs. They date dudes they meet at the gym or the tanning salon, and they look up to pornstars and strippers but have more ambition than that so they take on their first modeling job they can get, thinking it will launch them into the world as the next hot thing, the next Tila Tequila, maybe a stint in Playboy or hosting parties around the country, but reality is that the fun ends here, with this ebay gig because the rest of the world sees past you skinny frame, stuffed bra, fake tan, weak chin and non existent ass.

Either way, I assume some of you fuckers are into girls like this and it’s a nice change from celebrity content so I decided to post it.


Visit her ebay profile it Will Link to All Her ebay Sales Pages with all her Pictures…
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Posted in:Ass|ebay|Model|Slut|Tits|Underwear|Unsorted

2006

19

Jan

eBay Item of the Day

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Some dude is trying to auction off a chip that looks like a pussy. I have seen many pussies in my life, I’m talking big ones and little ones, tight ones and floppy ones, meaty ones and coinslotted ones, hairy ones and shaved ones, diseased ones and clean ones. I am not sure what’s vaginal about this, other than the fact that it is a little floral. I wasn’t trying to brag about the amount of pussy I’ve actually had because my penis doesn’t actually work, so don’t think I’m like that, I am just friendly with prostitutes who feel obligated to show me the cooch dance after I hook them up with meth. Bid on this auction, if you are a total poofter. If you want something vaginal buy a fuckin fleshlight.

Potato Chip looks like spread vagina lips *Must See*

MmMmmmm….Good Enough to eat! This is a rarity ladies and gentlemen. Everyone has penis shaped items but how often do you find something that looks like this rare potato chip. Bid now before it’s to late!

See the Auction Here (via Ben)

Posted in:chip|ebay|Pussy|stuff|Unsorted