I just wrote a rant about how 50 year olds in bathing suits are disgusting, especially bitches named Elizabeth Banks, but it took another Elizabeth to remind me that that isn’t true….

That’s not to say I was lying, I was just in the fucking moment when looking at Liz Banks trying to be some hot bikini model in her geriatric years thanks to being overhyped in Hollywood, giving her a few too many affirmations, and making her feel more confident than she should be….it happens to fat girls too….one too many dudes on TINDER cums in them and they think they’re fucking Miss Universe…HUMAN NATURE…

The universe had a way of reminding me that some 50 year olds like Liz Hurley are destined to be in bikinis, they just ROT better and even in her 50s, all menopausal and dry and crusty, we’d still risk getting Hugh Grant’s Tranny AIDS down our throats..because despite science, logic, she’s still fucking hot….

LOOK UP and YOU WILL SEE!

Now Universe, make all my dreams come true, money is energy and it comes easy.

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Posted in:Elizabeth Hurley

So….

If you read the site and I hope you don’t because it’s drivel….I am not a professionally trained writer and I am not very funny…so there is really no point….

BUT…

If you read this site, you’ll know two things….

1- that I have doubted that Liz Hurley in her old age is actually looking as good as she does in her pics, and I figured she either took a backlog before retiring and getting old and fat, or that her son, who I think is transgender and who takes all her pics for her is playing the part….so I never trusted any of her bikini action…

2- that I have been proven wrong because she was at an event a few weeks ago and still looks hot…which pains me to say, not because I don’t like hot chicks, but because it goes against my expiration date I’ve given women- I blame modern science….

So, this ass may be her son, may be old, but could just be a 55 year old model ass who has maintained and preserved herself accordingly…

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Posted in:Elizabeth Hurley

Elizabeth Hurley is the UK Sugar Baby who never dies. Not that I wish death upon her like one of her baby daddies who jumped off a building last year, leaving her gay/trans/confused son out of his will, which is always hilarious when these sugar babies keep the baby from the rich guys for profit, only for it to backfire when the motherfucker offs himself…

I am not too sure if this is Liz Hurley, or if this is even Liz Hurley, I have a few theories on why an old lady looks as good as she does…they are:

1- Filters, Photoshop, Angles

2- Archive footage she preemptively shot years ago knowing that you can fake being alive and trick people thinking things are current, while bitch is 300 pounds sitting at her beach house.

3- This is her tranny son, showing off his new tits, because that’s what happens when you’re been indoctrinated by the narrative because you have EMPTINESS in your soul…and don’t deal with your internal demons and blame being the wrong gender for your unhappiness, what kind of fucking brainwashing of inclusivity and not wanting to offend tells people ‘CUT YOUR DICK OFF YOU’LL BE HAPPY”…..your dick is your LIFEFORCE…

In conclusion, the tits still look good, and if I was a billionaire back in the 90s, I’d only be buying the CREAMPIES off her sex menu for rich guys she hustles harder than a used car salesman…because sugarbabies are great sales people.

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Posted in:Elizabeth Hurley

Elizabeth Hurley may be 100 years old and still playing up her one trick pony trick of being in a bikini or using her tits to get, or to just occupy her time because what the fuck else is she supposed to do…..but even weirder than an old lady doing the bikini thing is the fact that her son is the one who shoots all of this, the good news is he’s a transgender and likely gay, maybe from his mom making him take these kinds of pics, the desexualization of the woman happens when you throw your mom into the mix, you thought you liked tits, until your mom makes you stare at her tits until you hate tits, kind of thing….but the son’s dad just killed himself, for unrelated reasons, and he was very fucking rich, so the son is very fucking rich and that’s pretty fun….lots of money to spend on things to erase your mom’s pussy from your mind….because she just won’t stop spreading it for him, it’s a narcissist thing…I knew a guy who’s mom used to make him fuck her and it was all because she created him and felt he was perfect….which is more love than a hooker will give you…and that’s what matters!

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Posted in:Elizabeth Hurley

Elizabeth Hurley is confusing. I never know if her pics are of her, or of her transgendered son who looks like her, and I am always uncomfortable sexualizing a 55 year old, even if she was a babe in the 90s when she fucked Hugh Grant’s wallet to America before making a real name for herself in movies like Austin Powers, which is about all she’s done…besides Hugh Grant and I guess the other rich guys who fucked up her kid enough to turn him into her….it was probably her coddling, these rich people are fucking weirdos and when you give the wrong narcissist a kid, the kid becomes their fuck toy, they see it as masturbation…the penis they created going back in them…it’s weird…..not to say that Liz Hurley fucked her son, or ate his pussy after he transitioned, it’s just to say they are all fucking weird….

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Posted in:Elizabeth Hurley

Elizabeth Hurley knows her angles. I guess it’s her only responsibility and has been a constant in her life, so she better know her fucking angles.

I know typically a laying on your back selfie, that’s probably smut being shot by her trans son, since her shoots most of her instagram whoring content, is not the best look for a girl.

The tits flatten, the backfat gets pushed forward widening them out…but when you’re 300 years old….standing leads to sagging skin, being on top leads to sagging face, even if it is BOTOXed hard, and being on all fours…is some back of thigh messiness.

So as a professional model and man manipulator, who knows how important it is for her to remain hot…she’s figured it out…

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Posted in:Elizabeth Hurley

Elizabeth Hurley may be old as shit but thanks to modern science and being rich, bitch is injecting stem cells from abortions, not her abortions, unless she saved her abortions, because she’ too old to get pregnant not too old for you to want to cum inside her…because she looks good….thanks to being rich as shit and committing her life to looking good because without looking good she’d be nothing. A career built on looking good, her only currency cuz she’s got bank accounts with currency in it, is validation from looking good…I guess…just another old vain bitch trying to get the praise from all for being hot…like an old mom on reddit who has been working out the last 6 months and is ready to show off her new tits…you can’t hate on this content produced by her trans son of his mom he wants you jerking off to….so many fetishes going on right her…right now.

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Posted in:Elizabeth Hurley