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Archive for the Fake Tits Category

2009

21

Oct

Daisy De La Hoya Fake Tit Trash of the Day

2 Comments »

I am guessing Oscar De La Hoya’s been hit in the fucking head one too many times, because his idea of quality pussy, is pretty fucking twisted. I can only assume it was his first generation poor Mexican dream to end up with some quality fake tit, fake blonde pussy who graced the pages of Playboy because in the ghetto he was raised in, that was the sign of fucking success or some shit, because nothing else really explains why he would be fucking this whore, other than homosexuality, but then I realized that she isn’t a product of his cross-dressing homoerotic fantasies and she’s not Shanna Moakler or any of the other twats he’s seduced in his fishnets, but she is instead some reality show trash who is his niece and not one of his sex toys, but that doesn’t change the fact that she is disgusting.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Daisy De La Hoya|Fake Tits|Trash

2009

12

Aug

Victoria Silvstedt’s Fake Tits of the Day

4 Comments »

I figured I’d post these pictures of Victoria Silvstedt because fake tits are so fucking impresses, not only does all it take is 5,000 dollars to have a pair of your own, an amount of money that even a hurtbag like me could muster up if I really felt insecure about my tits, but they also give a false sense of confidence that propels girls into some next level whore behavior that usually leaves them getting their tits grabbed by strangers but sometimes if they are lucky they get jobs working for really rich dudes as a paid pussy….

Posted in:Fake Tits|Implants|Victoria Silvstedt

2009

11

May

Audrina’s Fake Titties in a White Dress of the Day

3 Comments »

Audrina may be useless, but her tits aren’t. Here are some pictures of them holding up a dress for Mother’s Day and her birthday. I wonder what else they can do. I am thinking act as a pretty good punching bag that I’d like to take out all my rage on, hopefully leaving her passed out in the gutter, naked and crying, or maybe as a nice landing pad for my cum after I’m done hate fucking her. I know I have nothing really interesting to say about her, but that’s because there’s nothing interesting about her and all I’m left with is frustration about why I’m not Audrina Patridge and no matter how long I close my eyes wishing that I was, I always see the same disgusting reflection in the mirror. So if anything, maybe Audrina isn’t useless, because she’s succeeded at making me hate myself more than I already do. Happy Fucking Birthday, Cunt.

Here is the video of her and her fake tits…..

Posted in:Audrina Patridge|Fake Tits|Implants

2008

31

Dec

Lisa Rinna’s Got Good Fake Tits for New Years Eve of the Day

4 Comments »

The real reason I hate breast implants is because the girls who get them change their mousy attitudes into something I find annoying. They become the Spring Break college girl who I hate, and their new found confidence is irritating for a guy who likes girls who have no confidence. I don’t like the new found attention they get over a set of tits and I don’t like that they get addicted and keep getting refills like shit was Subway, and end up looking like robots with hardened silicone busting out of the seams to match their usually hardened face, but every once in a while a Lisa Rinna comes along with her plastic surgery addicted face and her set of fake tits that I guess she’s kept hanging for a bunch of years, cuz shit aren’t offensive and almost look like they’d be good enough to take a nap on and by nap I mean titty fuck…..now all she’s gotta do is lift that melting ass and she’d be a half decent 50 year old plastic piece of shit.

Posted in:Bikini|Fake Tits|Lisa Rinna

2008

29

Dec

Kelly Rowland’s Fake Tits in a Bikini of the Day

6 Comments »

Two people asked me if I was gay this weekend. Maybe the meds brought out the showtune performing poofter in me, maybe it was the fact that I was offering to send them a video of me fucking a tranny like she was Audrina Patridge, by sucking on her dick, which for the record, doesn’t exist, at least not that I know of, but I think it has to do with me constantly ripping apart female celebrity vagina, but not the kind of vagina ripping I am into, like it was my fucking job, not that it is, because I am not into work, for their imperfections. One guy asked me when I was going to turn the site into a Lance Bass Dancing with the stars man-pussy fan site, because I never say anything positive about these famous sluts, and I act like none of them are up to my standards, like I was trying to cover something up, like homosexuality, but it’s just strategy man, I try to lower their self esteem to increase my chances of licking their assholes while Lance Bass strokes his dick in the corner, because sex without Lance Bass is not sex at all, no matter what your orientation is, true story.

Here’s Kelly Rowland in her bikini…with her modest fake tits, with a fat chick to make her look skinny all because she’s insecure, the way i like them.

Posted in:Bikini|Fake Tits|Kelly Rowland

2008

23

Dec

Heidi Montag’s Titty Christmas Kiss of the Day

8 Comments »

Here’s Heidi’s fake tits, to match her fake hair at her fake Finale party, with her fake husband that she has been fake dating for the last few years in her fake life. The only thing real in all this is that the dress is probably designer, and not a fake imitation, because it turns out the public like lies and lies make people very fucking rich.

That’s not to say it’s a nice dress, I don’t know this fashion shit, but this is Heidi Montag, so I can only assume it is some tacky trashy stripper shit you’d find at a sex shop, but it is to say that all this combined makes this bitch a lot smarter than you and me and that’s pretty fucking depressing.

Posted in:Fake Tits|Heidi Montag|Kissing

2008

07

Nov

Audrina and Her Big Fake Tits of the Day

6 Comments »

I guess The Hills are still on. I was convinced that because Heidi Montag was for McCain, Obama would have been smart enough to say if he wins he will abolish that bullshit show, up until today, I thought that was the only reason he won, but it turns out the bullshit is still being produced and these regular people who are hired to act, but can’t act, further making the show seem contrived and orchestrated, but for some reason people still fuckin’ watch it. I hope it’s because of the entertainment value of seeing big ol’ fake titties making fools of themselves in some really bad, tedious joke, because otherwise, despite Obama’s win, I still have no fuckin’ hope for America.

Other than that, Audrina’s got a good body, and deserves some credit where credit is due, because being skinny and having fake tits is really the American Dream, I am falling asleep as I type this so I should probably just stop. Audrina, drinking and not sleeping have that effect on me, they work their way into my core, and paralyze me…..

Posted in:Audrina Patridge|Fake Tits

2008

17

Oct

Christina Aguilera Brings Her Fake Tits to an Event of the Day

1 Comment »

Christina Aguilera brought her tits out to some event with her handsome rich boyfriend, because besides from her singing voice, they really are the only thing keeping her around in these hard economic times. I am not a fan of big tits especially when they are wasted on rich weasel lookin’ motherfuckers, but there will always be a place in my col black heart for Christina Aguilera, because that girl will always be the Genie in a Bottle who I want to rub the right way to me. Sure, her life has taken a horrible downward spiral since those glory days, but most of the girls I ever got with were pretty much at their worst, so here’s to hoping this trend continues because if I get my way, which I never do, I’ll be hiding in her backyard watching her sun tan topless while she cries, before the police get called.

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Fake Tits

2008

16

Oct

Shauna Sand’s Big Tits in a See Through Dress of the Day

8 Comments »

Shauna Sand brought her novelty tits out in a see through dress the other day. Her other novelty act is juggling balls while balancing on 9 inch heels and swinging around a brass pole, but no one gets to see that, because she’s scared it will take away from her image as an unattainable sex object and make us look at her like she’s some kind of clown with silly make-up on. Oh wait…she is some kind of clown with silly make-up on in high heels after juggling that dude’s balls in her mouth, I guess I got my story screwed up, kinda like how Shauna Sand got her childhood dreams as a street whore screwed up, and ended up living in a big house in Hollywood, only in her case her fuck up ended up with a happy ending, while mine just left me with this really shitty post, but in my defense, who really reads my annoying commentary when all you really came for is the pictures….I quit.

Posted in:Big Tits|Fake Tits|See Through|Shauna Sand

2008

29

Aug

Kellie Pickler’s Big Fake Tits Sign a Pool Table of the Day

7 Comments »

Kellie Pickler, like VIda Guerra got a set of fake tits with the little money she made at American Idol and I guess that makes her the hottest girl in the town of 50 people she’s from. She’ll be lucky enough to marry the farmer who had the biggest output last season who lives in luxury compared to his neighbors because he has running water in the shack he lives in.

I guess as much as I make fun of Pickler for being a retard, she was probably the hottest thing to ride her mule through American Idol and despite having a relationship so close to her grandfather cuz her parents were deadbeats or died in a farming accident, that he even shaves her lil coochie for her, which seems creepy to us city folk, but where they are from is normal since she’s not his actual daughter and playing with your daughter’s coochie would cross the incest line from their backwoods community, but laying with your grand daughter’s coochie is ok, but in his defense he was the best damn sheep shearer in the county.

What I am trying to say is that she sings country and lives country and that’s something a lot more commendable than whatever the fuck Jessica Simpson is doing. Here are her big new tits while she signs some kind of pool table, god knows why, but who really cares, just look at her tits.

Posted in:Fake Tits|Kellie Pickler