I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Archive for the Fat Category

2007

15

Jun

I am – Michelle Trachtenberg Shopping With Mom of the Day

michelle_trachtenberg_mom3.jpg

I saw these pictures and felt compelled to post them because I am convinced that if any other celebrity site bothered to post them they’d make a joke about what Michelle Trachtenberg is going to look like when she gets older, like that whole look at their mother bullshit theory idiots say when they date girls with fat moms.

My theory is who cares what the mother looks like, it’s not like you’re going to be with them long enough to see that happen. If you’re lucky enough to have a girlfriend who lets you see her naked right now, I can pretty much guarantee she’s not the girl who is going to marry you, she’s just going through a phase, unless she already looks like Michelle Trachtenberg’s mom.

Let’s face it, ugly chicks are desperate and have cinderella wedding dreams too…and it takes losers like you to make those dream come true. So don’t think that your life has no purpose, because it does, just not a very amazing purpose that a lot of people would envy, but reality is that you shouldn’t want people to envy you. You’re your very own Make a Wish Foundation….

I am not here to shit on you and your dreams, I just encourage everyone to do what makes them happy and who am I to judge you. Just because I married a bitch who is fatter and more disgusting than this Trachtenberg mom and from my experience I think that marrying old fat cooter is like marrying a pile of shit, only this pile of shit eats and nags and eats and sleeps and complains and tries to sleep with you when you really don’t want to see them naked or venture into those parts traumatizing you to the point where you can’t get boners anymore…doesn’t make me an expert. Reality is, you shouldn’t even be reading this.

Posted in:Fat|Jewish|Michelle Trachtenberg|Mom|Unsorted

2007

08

Jun

I am – Joely Richardson Black Bikini of the Day

joely_richardson_bikini.jpg

I am trying to find people to write my site for me for the month of July because I want to go away. I have been writing this site for 2 years and I really don’t need to justify wanting to travel to you because I hate you and don’t care what you think, but I do care about keeping the site updated daily. So I told people to send in some submissions so that I make sure I don’t pollute this site with shit. I am only comfortable with posting shit when I am the one manning the keyboard. I figure if I let an insider in, it better be fucking good.

I got this entry today, set to Joely Richardson on the beach pics. I don’t know who this whore is but she’s lookin’ a little dumpy for someone who let’s the paparazzi take pics of her. It’s called diet pills, anorexia, and sit ups bitch, otherwise you may want to consider wearing a t-shirt when you swim like the fat kid at the water park.

I am not anti fat people. I am fat. My wife is fat. A huge percentage of the girls I’ve seen naked are fat. I don’t think girls should destroy themselves to fit some stupid standard society has created, but I do think that if you’re out there living large on the beach, in life, driving nice cars and going on nice vacations because you’re on TV or in Movies or on Records, or doing whatever the fuck this unknown does, you gotta at least be tight bodied enough for virgins to want to jerk off to….it’s good for fuckin’ business…

That said, here that entry from a reader:

“ready for bathing suit season? feeling out of shape?”

Dont worry, because your neighbor (seen above) has been eating pork all winter…

I think this bitch is fired before she got hired.

Posted in:Bikini|Fat|Joely Richardson|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

14

Feb

Will Sasso Doesn’t Need Another Sandwich

I think Myspace is the future of the Internet, even though it’s been around for awhile, and seems like old news. It is only now that b-list celebrities everywhere are making the move to the internet, and figured out that it’s the best way for them to promote their useless projects that no one gives a fuck about. The reality is, just because lame 60 year old Jewish producers think you have talent, put you on a TV show and convince the population or the herd of sheep masses that you are the funniest guy on TV. We all know that doesn’t mean you’ve got it goin’ on. It’s a false sense of security for such an insecure group of people.

So I come across Will Sasso’s page and these are the messages that ensued:

—————– Original Message —————–
From: DrunkenStepfather.com
Date: Feb 14, 2006 1:19 PM

yeah so
my site is drunkenstepfather.com
and I will make you famous, bitch.

Love
Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

This was his response:

—————– Original Message —————–
From: WILL SASSO
Date: Feb 14, 2006 1:24 PM

Thanks Jesus, but I’m already famous…

Can you make me a sandwich instead?

So I had to put motherfucker in his place.

—————– Original Message —————–
From: DrunkenStepfather.com
Date: Feb 14, 2006 1:33 PM

Being on a sitcom with two fat ladies and Andy Dick hardly makes your famous.

I don’t know how to make sandwiches, I am more of a drinker.

Love

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

I guess my concept of fame is a lot different than his. This is where I would promote his website or his myspace profile, but sending all you useless cunts to his site and knowing that you think he’s funnier than I am is something I won’t do. You dig homo-erotic humor/ piss & shit jokes. I get it, you aren’t too smart. Now, go fuck yourselves.

I know I normally post about tits, well the benefit of fat men is that we have tits too, that’s what makes us so popular with dykes.

Posted in:Fat|sandwich|Unsorted|will sasso

2006

14

Feb

Will Sasso Doesn't Need Another Sandwich

I think Myspace is the future of the Internet, even though it’s been around for awhile, and seems like old news. It is only now that b-list celebrities everywhere are making the move to the internet, and figured out that it’s the best way for them to promote their useless projects that no one gives a fuck about. The reality is, just because lame 60 year old Jewish producers think you have talent, put you on a TV show and convince the population or the herd of sheep masses that you are the funniest guy on TV. We all know that doesn’t mean you’ve got it goin’ on. It’s a false sense of security for such an insecure group of people.

So I come across Will Sasso’s page and these are the messages that ensued:

—————– Original Message —————–
From: DrunkenStepfather.com
Date: Feb 14, 2006 1:19 PM

yeah so
my site is drunkenstepfather.com
and I will make you famous, bitch.

Love
Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

This was his response:

—————– Original Message —————–
From: WILL SASSO
Date: Feb 14, 2006 1:24 PM

Thanks Jesus, but I’m already famous…

Can you make me a sandwich instead?

So I had to put motherfucker in his place.

—————– Original Message —————–
From: DrunkenStepfather.com
Date: Feb 14, 2006 1:33 PM

Being on a sitcom with two fat ladies and Andy Dick hardly makes your famous.

I don’t know how to make sandwiches, I am more of a drinker.

Love

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

I guess my concept of fame is a lot different than his. This is where I would promote his website or his myspace profile, but sending all you useless cunts to his site and knowing that you think he’s funnier than I am is something I won’t do. You dig homo-erotic humor/ piss & shit jokes. I get it, you aren’t too smart. Now, go fuck yourselves.

I know I normally post about tits, well the benefit of fat men is that we have tits too, that’s what makes us so popular with dykes.

Posted in:Fat|sandwich|Unsorted|will sasso