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Archive for the Fat Category

2008

21

Aug

Resse Witherspoon is a Fat Jogger of the Day

9 Comments »

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I spend my days watching people jog past me because it makes me feel like I am working out without actually having to get off my ass, it is some kind of projection shit and more often than not, the girls I have seen run by me daily for more than the last 5 years are not slim, fit or someone I’d want to fuck. They are dumpy, big assed, moms types and they just keep on doing it despite it having no effect on their bodies. People tell me to imagine what they would look like if they didn’t work out, even though I don’t want to imagine them when they do work out, but implying that they would otherwise be obese and maybe that’s true, but what’s also true is that if you put energy into something and it doesn’t work out for you, you half to find it in yourself to give the fuck up. It’s a quitter menality, but I just think it’s being realistic.

Here are some pictures of Reese Witherspoon showing off her pudgy little mom body jogging as she always fucking does because she’s trying to fight her Fat Southern Wal Mart clerk gene, so as you look at these you can imagine her if she didn’t work out, or you could do what I do and imagine Ryan Phillippe busting nut in her 3 times to knock her up, because you find him so fucking dreamy…..

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Posted in:Fat|Jogging|Reese Witherspoon

2008

20

Aug

Keely Shaye Smith is Too Fat for a Bikini of the Day

16 Comments »

So this is Pierce Bronson’s wife, who I am not sure looked like this when they got married, but I assume she didn’t because she’s the kind of fat chick that only losers with no fuckin’ options marries, you know someone like me or like this dude I knew who was about 120 pounds and 6 foot 6 who would walk around with a braces and harnesses on over his ill fitting clothes because his joints were too weak to support his little frame, which was pretty fucking awkward considering he weighed 120 pounds, but he found love in some obese woman he met in church and even she was too good for him so jumping on this opportunity made sense….despite how gross she probably looked naked.

But Bronson is a fucking actor with money and this bitch may not be as fat as my wife is fatter, but I can still say that she’s got no business being married to a Hollywood actor just as much as she has no business wearing a fuckin’ bikini. I am offended by these pictures and feel for Bronson because he can’t leave her now, it’ll make him look like a superficial asshole and the media will rape him and he can pretend that love can move mountains, but I will bet money that it won’t move this sack of shit of a woman….

At least there are always hookers…

Posted in:Bikini|Fat|Keely Shaye Smith

2008

21

Jul

Rachel Brando’s Fat Bikini Pictures of the Day

6 Comments »

Rachel Brando is Marlon Brando’s half breed love child and if you don’t see much similarity between her Asian looks and her father, just look at her stomach, bitch looks like she spent her childhood having an eating contest with her dad before he died. The only reason I know he is responsible for her is becase I saw a documentary on him and dude had a bad case of yellow fever, to the point where he bough an Island in the South Pacific so that he could fuck the natives like living out his Apocalypse Now character. If you’re wondering why I know so much about Brando, I don’t, but I do know that dude made one ugly baby and here she is in a bikini.

Posted in:Bikini|Fat|Rachel Brando

2008

25

Jun

Karolina Kurkova is Too Fat to Model of the Day

1 Comment »

What people don’t realize when they jerk off to these pictures of models in Sports Illustrated or their mom’s Victoria’s Secret catalog is that models aren’t hot in person. They are fucking scarey genetic freaks of nature that are look like they have these tight, nice bodies, but the second you stand next to them and realize you go up to their shoulders and that their shoulers are broader than you, that whole perspective changes.

I saw a picture that I can’t find of Kurkova a couple of weeks ago standing next to a normal sized girl and bitch looked like she was about to eat her. I knew then that this product of Chernobyl was not going to last long because her true very large colors were eventually going to be obvious to everyone.

Now, I hear that she’s losing her modeling contract unless she drops some weight and here are the pictures explaining why.

Posted in:Fat|Karolina Kurkova|Model

2008

03

Jun

Alicia Keys Has Some Fat Legs of the Day

29 Comments »

Looks like Alicia Keys, who was reportedly a marathon runner has hung up her running shoes and committed herself to her piano and by piano I mean extra-large double cheese pizza. I had more respect for this girl when I thought her last name was actually Keys, thinking how crazy a coincidence it was. But it turns out that it’s just some kind of nickname thatshe gave herself that happens to be a lot more appealing than Large Fry Thighs.

I wonder if I’d be more successful if I changed my name was Jesus Useless Guy On the Internet, since it would let people know what they are singing up for, but the flow just isn’t as cool as “Keys”, but that’s not my fault, I’m not black.

I also had more respect for her before finding out she came from money and had actual music lessons and training, I was a little more accepting to her obesity when I thought she taught herself the piano playing a chalk drawing of a piano in the projects, it just makes for a better heartwarming story on Oprah.

Either way, some of you find her hot, I’m just posting these to try to drill it into you that she probably is, because carrying that load around is tough on her body and she just can’t seem to stop sweating.

Posted in:Alicia Keys|Fat|Legs

2008

03

Jun

Queen Latifah is Out in a Bathing Suit of the Day

8 Comments »

Whoever said that big is beautiful was wrong and these pictures of Queen Latifah prove that, so does my wife when she runs around the house in her underwear. These pictures also prove the quality of floatation devices, because I know that if I was the poor fucker she was riding, I wouldn’t be holding up so well. I guess the good news for some of you sick fucks who don’t care how fat a chick is as long as she has tits, is that she’s not too embarrassed to get into a bathing despite, even though she should be.

Posted in:Bathing Suit|Fat|Queen Latifah

2008

15

May

Michelle Trachtenberg Shouldn’t Hang With Skinny Girls of the Day

9 Comments »

Michelle Trachtenberg went to some Nylon event because she’s got nothing better to do with her time that hang out with a bunch of self-proclaimed fashionistas at their magazine party, but she made the mistake of showing up with Billionaire Lydia Hearst because next to skinny Lydia Hearst, Michelle Trachtenberg looks like some kind of monster. Her enitre body, from face to thick angles looks like she lost a mud wrestling match with elephantism, but I’m not doctor, I could be wrong.

I kinda have a soft spot in my heart for Lydia Hearst. We became facebook friends and she was always nice enough to answer me up until recently. I tried to convince her to buy my site off me because I can’t afford to pay the servers or to license pictures and thought she had lots of excess money from her greatgrandfather’s media empire, but she didn’t bite, so if the site gets shut down, you know who is resposible for it.

BONUS: Lydia Hearst at Some Other Event Showin’ Some Tit

Posted in:Fat|Lydia Hearst|Michelle Trachtenberg|Skinny

2008

15

May

America’s Next Top Model Choose the Fat Chick of the Day

2 Comments »

So some fat chick named Whitney wins America’s Next Top Model. There are a few reasons why I think this happened and they go like this. First, Tyra is a fat slob who gets a lot of hate for being a fat slob. Second, the media is getting attacked by fat chicks everywhere for improperly representing them while giving kids a negative sense of what a body should look like and choose a fat chick is good for ratings and lastly, every other season, mainly last season when they chose the skinniest most masculine lookin’ mess of a girl, they have chosen skinny bitches and Tyra wants to balance things out, like when American Idol skews the votes for the black dude to win. Either way, here’s Whitney winning and I hear as her prize she’s getting a job promoting Pizza Hut and is getting paid in a lifetime supply. She couldn’t be happier.

Posted in:ANTM|Fat

2008

12

May

Kim Kardashian is Fat Assed of the Day

7 Comments »

Kim Kardashian admits that she’s a fat lazy slob by getting laser cellulite treatment instead of going to the gym. I have been saying that she’s s a fat pig of a woman for the last couple years that she’s been in the limelight, but for some reason dudes out there still think she’s hot and has an amazing ass.

I decided to post this picture of Kim Kardashian in a fat person outfit because she is fat. Her ass looks like a doughy piece of shit that was left behind in a pair of my underwear after drinking too much one night. I know that I have no standards and you probably don’t either but I am not blinded by the fact that she has money and a pussy, and can accept the fact that this is not a hot ass and is a disgusting ass and I want you to be able to do the same thing, because until you do I will have trouble updating my site knowing that you cocksuckers are so delusional and desperate.

Posted in:Fat|Kim Kardashian

2008

07

May

Kim Kardashian and Her Cellulite Treatment of the Day

24 Comments »

So we have all agreed that Kim Kardashian is a fat lazy bitch who just happens to have a flat stomach making the average person think she’s not a fat lazy bitch but something vuluptuous and desireable, which is almost understandable having been to Plattsburgh, New York for some discount shopping with my wife a while ago and realizing that her fat ass felt at home there because she was thinner than the bitches we ran into at Taco Bell. Unfortunately, my bed doesn’t feel the same way after years of suffering under her obesity.

Either way, being the whore that Kim Kardashian is she decided to get Cellulite Laser treatment on her fat lazy ass because Paris Hilton made fun of her and made her realize that she’s a fuckin’ pig while everyone else was stroking her ego. It always takes a catty jealous bitch to put a girl who thinks she’s better than she actually is in line. The laser treatment was a pretty good fuckin’ solution for her because she didn’t have to get off her fat lazy ass or stop shoveling her fat lazy hand that is clearly not too fat or too lazy to reach her fat lazy mouth. Now she’s out pimping this shit because they are either paying her or giving her free treatments and that’s just the kind of tradeoff whores like. I wouldn’t expect much more from this cunt because we are talking about a girl who made 5,000,000 dollars and launced a fat lazy career off a fuckin’ sex tape here.


To Read Her Post on Her Cellulite and See Her Erotic Calendar for Her Boyfriend Cuz She’s a Slut
GO

Posted in:Fat|Kim Kardashian