Jogging Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2010

23

Feb

Pink Goes for a Jog of the Day

I am a man with a very fat, unhealthy, out of shape wife who sounds like she is drowning everytime she breathes, so for a while, I used to jerk off to women jogging outside my apartment window. My fetish for healthy bithces got so bad that I even got a job volunteering at the local YMCA where all the college kids and prozac suburban moms would work out in their really tight pants that showed off their pussy definition. It was like they were in such tight clothes I could visualize them naked, they were sweaty and I could hardly contain my erection no matter how small it actually is…..but every once in a while, a bitch who got addicted to the workout high would become totally jacked and totally masculine, making me wonder if getting off to them makes me gay, or does the fact that they have a vagina, despite not lookin’ like they should have a vagina cancel it out….The point is that Pink is one of those girls that I think you are gay if you get off to her and really fucking messed up if you get off to her music while crying and masturbating in your bedroom closet so no one catches you….

So this is not celebrity workout fetish cuz you have a fat, lazy wife and this brings you hope pics, this is the test of if you are capable of getting hard for an actual man by putting a bitch as manly as they come in tight clothes up to bat….cuz the truth is that sometimes a vagina isn’t enough.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Jogging|Pink

2009

06

Oct

Kelly Bensimon Disgusting Ripped Body of the Day

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There is a time in every workout addict’s life when she’s gotta look in the mirror and realize that she’s gone too fucking far passed that lookin’ healthy and fit point and reached that “I wonder if she’s got a cock” point. Seriously, she’s boxy and ripped and anyone who fucks her would have to be a queer trying to climb the social ladder without actually having access to someone who can really get him where he wants to be, but figures since she’s on TV and has money she’s a good start, and the fact that she barely looks like a woman, makes it less hetero and it turns out my assumptions are right because in March of this year her boyfriend Nicholas Stefanov charged her for assault cuz she punched him in the face, something no straight guy would ever admit to the police for fear of being laughed out of the room.

Either way, here she is maintaining her testicles.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Gross|Jogging|Kelly Bensimon

2009

24

Aug

Leanne Rimes the Cheating Whore with Psoriasis Workin’ Out of the Day

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I used to bond with a dude, not in a gay way, but in a “we both have really fat wives” way. He was a lot younger and lived across the street from me and for a few months we’d run into each other at the store buying ice cream or chips for our wives late night, and eventually we’d laugh about the shit and start telling horror storries about our wives. It was like a “My wife’s so fat” marathon at least once a week, eventually we started drinking together and our bond was our hatred for the fact that we have to share a bed with a fuckin’ barn animal everynight. He moved and we didn’t keep in touch, cuz I don’t do that faggot penpal shit, but I ran into him the other day and he was with a fuckin’ model lookin chick. She was in spandex shorts like she just finished working out and her ass was incredible. It was like he pulled her out of a mail order catalog or saved her from Brazil or some shit and I pulled him aside and asked what the fuck happened and he turned to me and said “one day she just decided to stop eating shit and working out and that was the best day of my life”….I was blown the fuck away, this hot piece of ass was the ugly fat chick he married who pulled her shit together, it was fuckin’ impossible, beneath all that fat was a fucking supermodel who is stickin’ by his side because she actually loved him and believes he actually loves her because he was there was she was at her lowest, that shit doesn’t even happen in fuckin’ movies…but gives me hope….even though my wife would never try to lose weight and if she did, she’d be the kind of girl who would end up 10 times uglier and disproportionate like some kind of monster or cartoon character because that’s the kind of luck I have….

Here are some pics of Leanne Rimes jogging….all fit and ugly to look at for the diehard fans who still have pics of her when she was 16 on their computers to jerk off to……too bad no one photoshopped her face in these pics…I feel like I am watching a dude jog….

Posted in:Jogging|Leanne Rimes

2009

09

Mar

Jordan in Her Towel Bikini of the Day

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So exhibitionist, successful slut, borderline prostitute, with the dumbest set of fake tits, and the ability to pretty much attach her name to any useless product, was out at the beach, but instead of being half naked and sucking on a set of testicles while getting her pussy licked, like you’d expect the whore to be, at least based on her shitty sex tape that hit years ago, she’s wearing a couple towels and covering up more than a Muslim chick or that pilgrim lookin’orthodox jew I saw outside with her 8 kids the other day and who I asked if she would come over to host my thanksgiving party where we pretend to rape and pilage natives, but she just ignored me, I guess her religion raped and pilaged her vagina enough to not have a sense of humor, but maybe it was just because she’s not allowed to communicate with non jews since we’re heathans, but more likely it’s just that it wasn’t funny and I should have gone with my horse and buggy joke instead.

Either way, I wish some bitches took Jordan’s lead and wrapped the fuck up when it came to bikini time, I’m talking to you fat chicks.

I guess Jodan not happy with how her body’s looking, and here she is doin some stretchin….before a work out to tighten shit up…

2008

21

Aug

Resse Witherspoon is a Fat Jogger of the Day

9 Comments »

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I spend my days watching people jog past me because it makes me feel like I am working out without actually having to get off my ass, it is some kind of projection shit and more often than not, the girls I have seen run by me daily for more than the last 5 years are not slim, fit or someone I’d want to fuck. They are dumpy, big assed, moms types and they just keep on doing it despite it having no effect on their bodies. People tell me to imagine what they would look like if they didn’t work out, even though I don’t want to imagine them when they do work out, but implying that they would otherwise be obese and maybe that’s true, but what’s also true is that if you put energy into something and it doesn’t work out for you, you half to find it in yourself to give the fuck up. It’s a quitter menality, but I just think it’s being realistic.

Here are some pictures of Reese Witherspoon showing off her pudgy little mom body jogging as she always fucking does because she’s trying to fight her Fat Southern Wal Mart clerk gene, so as you look at these you can imagine her if she didn’t work out, or you could do what I do and imagine Ryan Phillippe busting nut in her 3 times to knock her up, because you find him so fucking dreamy…..

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Posted in:Fat|Jogging|Reese Witherspoon

2008

01

May

Pink Joggin in the Same Outfit She Wore Last Week of the Day

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I had a very short lived altercation with a homo a couple of nights ago. He was the kind of homo who was flaming, who was borderline a chick and who was ridiculous and unnecessarily catty. He was making obnoxious, rude and hurtful comments to passer-bys and I decided to step in a put him in the place because it was annoying me. It was clear that no one has put him in his place since he was molested at 13 when his uncle went a little too far one night after drinking too much, throwing the fag into some sort of scared, violated and silent phase a broken down molested kid goes through and his family didn’t bother doing anything about it because they liked that his annoying 13 year old brat mouth was shut the fuck up. Either way, time heals, and he found his obnoxious voice but a little more bitter because of the damage of his uncle forcing himself on him but has forgotten what it’s like to be a scared, violated, broken down.

I basically told him that if he didn’t shut up I would kill him and repeated it a few times and it made me think that gender lines are blurred now and if I actually beat up a little homo who identifies with 14 year old girls more than he does with the rest of society, who weighs 110 lbs because he’s jacked on coke and likes the way he looks in size 25 jeans, it would be like beating up a chick and I’ve been raised to think that is wrong. I guess anytime my wife pisses me off I should just go Gay Bash but then again there are a lot of Lesbians who are stronger and tougher than me, so maybe I’ll just start fights with them on purpose by randomly punching them in the face to end up wrestling on the floor like I was 15 and it was the only way I could get girls to give me boners.

Either way, here’s tough Pink training on the beach in the same outfit she wore last week and her nipples are hard so I figured you’d like that.

See Pink Wearing the Same Outfit She Wore Last Week

Posted in:Jogging|Pink|Sports Bra|Working Out

2007

21

Sep

I am – Jessica Simpson on Set of Some Movie in Shorts of the Day

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I always get hate mail for people for being a mean spirited asshole. I always tell those people that I rip into myself a lot harder than I rip into any celebrity and I am really only doing it for the sake of doing it. I don’t actually care if Jessica Simpson is an idiot or if she was fat but is now too skinny, I would take the bitch as is, no questions asked. I think what it comes down to is that I am just making fun of the media that makes fun of her and seriously reports her weight changes and her relationship status. Who gives a fuck about those things, I just want to see her tits. So here she is lookin’ fit as hell on the set of her movie. I assume she had a jogging scene because she’s in jogging gear and it’s too bad she’s rockin’ a sports bra, because sports bra’s ruin tits.

I remember I used to bang this really busty girl and she’d always be ashamed of having such big tits, so she’d wear a normal bra and 2 sports bras over it in hopes of squeezing the fuckers in. She didn’t like people knowing that she was packing that kind of heat and she wasn’t a fat chick so shit was way out of proportion. I remember that every time I would come over I would fight with her to take the stupid sports bra off because let’s face it, her tits were the only reason I was hanging out with her and as soon as she got drunk enough, she’d let me. Getting to her nipples was like getting to the center of a tootsie pop shit took forever, and there were so many layers. I felt like a prospector lookin’ for gold, but once I got through those fucking sports bras and into that special place where her titties lived, I had so much tit I didn’t know what to do with myself other than cum.

Here are those Jessica Simspon on set pics:

Related Posts:

Jessica Simspon’s Acting Drunk on Set Pictures
Jessica Simpson Showing Off Her Legs
Some Jessica Simpson’s Got Hard Nipples Pictures
Jessica Simpson’s Tit Busting Out of Her Dress

2007

21

Aug

I am – Mena Suvari Joggin' in a Sports Bra of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Mena Suvari and her lesbian haircut jogging in some kind of sportsbra showing off her little tits and a pair of tight pants showing off her ass, but you don’t need me to tell you that, you have eyes and can see the pictures yourself so fuck off.

The most interesting thing about these pictures are her gangster stance, with her one legged rolled up but I don’t even know if people dress like that anymore becuase I haven’t been to the suburbs in a long time. The suburbs give me anxiety, the only thing to find there are some twilight-zone style houses that all look the fucking same, happy on the outside families that have their dirty little secrets of the wife fucking the tennis coach or the husband fucking the neighbors wife or the babysitter in attempts to add some kind of excitement to their boring lives, and a bunch of punk kids dressed like 50 cent, mugging old ladies to be gangster and tagging up the schoolyard like they lived in some big city and were hip hop…these are the motherfuckers who get girls teenage pregnant, they do acid to kill the boredom and as interesting as that sounds, I don’t step foot in the place….so saying Mena Suvari is a lesbian gangsta may not be accurate but to say she’s got a lesbian haircut and is built like a fucking tank isn’t….

Related Posts:
Mena Suvari Showing Her Ass Off
Mena Suvari in a Bikini
Mena Suvari in a Bikini Again
Mena Suvari in a Bikini Top

2007

21

Aug

I am – Mena Suvari Joggin’ in a Sports Bra of the Day

9 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Mena Suvari and her lesbian haircut jogging in some kind of sportsbra showing off her little tits and a pair of tight pants showing off her ass, but you don’t need me to tell you that, you have eyes and can see the pictures yourself so fuck off.

The most interesting thing about these pictures are her gangster stance, with her one legged rolled up but I don’t even know if people dress like that anymore becuase I haven’t been to the suburbs in a long time. The suburbs give me anxiety, the only thing to find there are some twilight-zone style houses that all look the fucking same, happy on the outside families that have their dirty little secrets of the wife fucking the tennis coach or the husband fucking the neighbors wife or the babysitter in attempts to add some kind of excitement to their boring lives, and a bunch of punk kids dressed like 50 cent, mugging old ladies to be gangster and tagging up the schoolyard like they lived in some big city and were hip hop…these are the motherfuckers who get girls teenage pregnant, they do acid to kill the boredom and as interesting as that sounds, I don’t step foot in the place….so saying Mena Suvari is a lesbian gangsta may not be accurate but to say she’s got a lesbian haircut and is built like a fucking tank isn’t….

Related Posts:
Mena Suvari Showing Her Ass Off
Mena Suvari in a Bikini
Mena Suvari in a Bikini Again
Mena Suvari in a Bikini Top

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