Working Out Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

Archive for the Working Out Category

2010

May

Scarlett Johansson Voyeur Gym Pics of the Day

Here are some voyeur pictures of Scarlett Johansson at the gym trying to slim down for old times cuz she realizes that a young chubby busty single chick brought her much more success than a thick older married chick and as a real voyeur, I am disappointed, I find them pics real fucking boring, and don’t understand why the paparazzi didn’t do what they were supposed to do and set up a camera in a locker that has a view of the showers like I’ve seen so many times on the internet, cuz a naked Scarlett Johansson is far more interesting than a clothed on, 15 pounds overweight or not.

Sloppy. But at least she’s doing something about it. Not that “doing something about it” has ever got me off, especially with my wife, cuz the only thing she does about the shit is just emotionally eat more food in one sitting than a small African Village eats in a week…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Scarlett Johansson|Voyeurism|Working Out

2009

Aug

Katie Price is Working Out with Lame MMA Dudes of the Day

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Just when I thought Katie Price wasn’t tacky or trashy enough, pictures of her surface training with MMA type dudes in their Tapout clothes, which is pretty much the bottom feeder trailer park Ed Hardy and the shit irritates me just as much but on a different level, because all these lame gym-bo’s who train to fight are far more annoying to be stuck next to waiting for a drink at the bar than a group of clueless chachi motherfuckers, because both groups are loud, but one group gets excited watching people get their faces smashed in while suckin on their slutty girlfriend’s fake aspiring porn star tit with their friends while the other like soccer, tight pants and eating fuckin’ spaghetti with their hot girlfriend who just doesn’t rub them as well as their friend Johnny.

That’s not to say that both groups aren’t closet case homosexuals, it is just to say that one is a hell of a lot more angry and poor and instead of pumping fists to electonic music drinking bottles of Goose like the Ed Hardy crowd, the Tapout crowd is drinking beer and punching each other as hard as they can to build up their pain threshold for the day they become the fighters they aspire to be…..and I like to avoid all that shit.

Posted in:Katie Price|Working Out

2009

Jul

Gretchen Rossi in a Bikini of the Day

4 Comments »

Here she is in some shitty staged pics you’d expect to see in a shitty brochure for a shitty hotel that you would only stay at if you were like me and broke as shit but backed into the corner when your fat wife bitches about how you never take her anywhere because spending alone time with her is a fate worth than fucking death…you know the kind of picture you’d then see on shitty postcards and shitty hepatitis pamphlets they hand out to vacationers in Mexico, because she is a stock photo star some photographer took a pic of and sold to every low level asshole who needed a picture of a twat in a bikini, but at least she has a nice body, even if her bullshit career is as bullshit as the quality of these bullshit staged shots….you know with being on Real Housewives of Orange County and having paparazzi take pics of her with her fake TV boyfriend, thus contributing to why I hate the fucking world…

And Here she is in some staged pictures of her workin’ out, not because her life is bullshit, but because she is a good person who wants to show the fat chicks how she gets that body worth fuckin’ all while rockin’ a stupid grin on her face I’d like to fuck right off of her…..

Posted in:Gretchen Rossi|Real Housewives of Orange County|Working Out

2009

Apr

Holly Madison Working Out of the Day

7 Comments »

If you’re wondering how Holly Madison keeps her whore body in shape, it’s not from being kicked off Dancing with the Stars, it’s not from doing the coke diet, it’s not from having an eating disorder whether starving herself, or puking all over herself, it’s not from fucking and fucking and fucking until her vagina stops working, it’s from good old fashioned, wholesome fake workouts where she pretends to be actually breakin’a sweat, when really it’s just a photo op for some company in desperate need of promotion.

Posted in:Holly Madison|Working Out

2009

Feb

Rebecca Romijn Stamos Working Out of the Day

5 Comments »

Rebecca Romijn Stamos had twins with Jerry O’Connell on December 28 of this year. These are pictures of her trying to whip herself back into shape. If you’re wondering why I am still referring to her as a Stamos, despite being divorced from Uncle Jesse for a solid 4 years, it’s because I hate Jerry O’Connell and he is pretty much dead to me.

I don’t hate him for stupid reasons, like how guys with celebrity crushes refer to the celebrity’s significant other as an asshole or price or loser or pretty much anything negative, since the person with the celebrity crush feels he should be the guy by her side and resents the dude for being so lucky, mainly because I don’t care for celebrities, but also because that is fucking creepy.

I do hate him because when I was first in Canada, the one channel I used to get, used to play this Jerry O’Connell shit (see video) on the regular and since then, I have always hated this cocksucker, it’s one of those Katy Perry, Lady Gaga situations where I seriously get affected by my surroundings and when I can’t control what I am exposed to, I target the motherfucker and wish bad things for them.

That said, I always thought Rebecca Romijn Stamos was worth a fuck, so here she is trying to re-tighten that baby factory in her pants of hers….

Posted in:Rebecca Romijn Stamos|Working Out

2008

May

Pink Joggin in the Same Outfit She Wore Last Week of the Day

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I had a very short lived altercation with a homo a couple of nights ago. He was the kind of homo who was flaming, who was borderline a chick and who was ridiculous and unnecessarily catty. He was making obnoxious, rude and hurtful comments to passer-bys and I decided to step in a put him in the place because it was annoying me. It was clear that no one has put him in his place since he was molested at 13 when his uncle went a little too far one night after drinking too much, throwing the fag into some sort of scared, violated and silent phase a broken down molested kid goes through and his family didn’t bother doing anything about it because they liked that his annoying 13 year old brat mouth was shut the fuck up. Either way, time heals, and he found his obnoxious voice but a little more bitter because of the damage of his uncle forcing himself on him but has forgotten what it’s like to be a scared, violated, broken down.

I basically told him that if he didn’t shut up I would kill him and repeated it a few times and it made me think that gender lines are blurred now and if I actually beat up a little homo who identifies with 14 year old girls more than he does with the rest of society, who weighs 110 lbs because he’s jacked on coke and likes the way he looks in size 25 jeans, it would be like beating up a chick and I’ve been raised to think that is wrong. I guess anytime my wife pisses me off I should just go Gay Bash but then again there are a lot of Lesbians who are stronger and tougher than me, so maybe I’ll just start fights with them on purpose by randomly punching them in the face to end up wrestling on the floor like I was 15 and it was the only way I could get girls to give me boners.

Either way, here’s tough Pink training on the beach in the same outfit she wore last week and her nipples are hard so I figured you’d like that.

See Pink Wearing the Same Outfit She Wore Last Week

Posted in:Jogging|Pink|Sports Bra|Working Out

2008

Apr

Kim Kardashian is Working Out of the Day

6 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Kim Kardashian having a much needed workout.

I guess the truth hurts because she’s actually taking it to actually exercising. The funniest thing about these pictures is that I’ve been calling Kim Kardashian a fat pig for the last 6 months and I continuously get hate for it, but the second Paris Hilton says bitch has cottage cheese legs, she starts working out like some kind of high school girl who got a nose job cuz the pretty girl said she had a big nose. It’s some low self esteem shit that would explain the emotional eating of ice cream that got her in this situation to begin with and reality is that she should have been doing this long time ago, but all you cocksuckers encouraged her to eat more and said her fat was hot and that if anyone thought otherwise, they were into little boys, but it just took those cutting words from someone she thinks matters to get her off the ice cream.

What that means is that Kim Kardashian, along with the rest of the world, values Paris Hilton’s evil words more than they value my evil words, even though she is a stupid, useless cunt. Society tells us to listen to people like her, who have money and celebrity, that’s why the politicians are trying to get as many endorsements as possible, including Heidi Montag, a bitch who is worth less than her fuckin’ breast implants, while the assholes like you and me, who are probably much better suited to make statements about reality since we don’t live in a fuckin’ fantasy, are expected to worship the cocksuckers and everything that comes out of their mouth. They are even trying to get us to jerk off to them in their sex tapes, trying to infiltrate us from all angles, even in the fuckin’ porn we watch despite us knowing they suck harder than regular porn and not in a good way, we still watch because they are rich and known. I guess it’s all part of the brainwash process.

But at least someone’s finally put this fat ass whore to work…..

Posted in:Kim Kardashian|Working Out

2007

Jul

I am – Sophia Bush Working Out in Spandex of the Day

4 Comments »

I never watched any of those teenage girls shows like One Tree Hill, Buffy, the one with Kerri Russel, Gilmore girls or any of that shit, probably because I have a penis and like sex, but I do know they exist because I write a stupid site. I don’t know much about Sophia Bush, because she is about as famous as the guy who works at the deli down the street, everyone seems to know his name, but she is still good enough for the paparazzi to take pictures of. When I first opened these up, I thought she was the president’s daughter and I was going to write something political since this is a political site and I know so much about global issues. Unfortunately, she’s not so I’ll just talk about spandex….

I once knew some steroid motherfucker who was a personal trainer because he liked middle aged women, he would work at the most exclusive gyms in the city in hopes of landing a hot wife since he loved himself and his muscles so much. He was the kind of guy you’d go out with and would stand at the bar flexing and rubbing his biceps for the barmaid as he ordered his drink. The dude was a fucking idiot and had little to offer, but for some reason he was what these younger wives of rich dudes wanted to fuck. They weren’t lookin for love, they were looking for a good fuck while the husband was at work and he ended up getting asked to train them at their home gyms. His business basically became going to see one lady, training her by stuffin her like a turkey, then she would be so impressed with his services that she’d refer her to her friends. So dude was fucking 40 or 50 women a week or something insane like that. He ended up having a breakdown, he realized he was a man whore and he couldn’t keep it going. His dick kinda broke on him because he was sad. That just goes to show you that even the people you think have a dream job, still hate what they do. I think the 60 year old fat lady was what put him over the edge and made him realize he was being used. I still think he was a fucking pussy. I think he is fat now.

Either way, here’s Sophia Bush, not as fit as my friend was, but still a whore to me….

Posted in:Sophia Bush|Spandex|Unsorted|Working Out

2007

Jul

I am – Lisa Rinna is a Fucking Clown of the Day

3 Comments »

Lisa Rinna hasn’t done much since Melrose Place. If you are wondering why I know she was on Melrose Place, it’s because I keep track of all celebrities or semi-celebrities with big tits and a ton of plastic surgery, it’s kind of a hobbie. I also used to do pretty hard drugs in 1996 that left me on various couches with a group of people who were in love with the show and followed it like it was a fucking cult. I think one guy even got the shit tattooed on his back or something because he was crazy and thought he was living in the show but that’s not important.

What is important is seeing a bitch pick herself up from the depths of getting no work, and realize her place in society and that is being a clown at birthday parties. Here are some pictures of her in action but not in costume because if she gave the whole act away, no one would want to hire her.

I am really only posting these because her nipples are hard, she’s wet and she’s more flexible than my wife, which isn’t saying much, I think the Fridge is more flexible than her because it opens. I guess she’s just had nothing better to do than work out the last 11 years…

2007

Jul

I am – Jessica Simpson Rock Solid of the Day

5 Comments »

So Jessica Simpson has been hitting the gym hard enough to have pretty ripped calves when she flexes. I was never into girls showing off their muscles, but that was less about them reminding me of men and more about me feeling like a pussy.

She’s got sturdy legs, she’d be good a lifting or maybe working as a mover or a wrestler or one of those chicks who men hire to choke-hold them with her legs while wearing lingerie, but it’s safe to say that she’s no man and that her calves are hardly that manly.

What it comes down to is that I can deal with some muscular legs any day of the week but that could be because I am married to a pile of fucking transfat who has fucking fat that hangs over her stupid fat chick shoes. She’s cellulite ridden everywhere including the tops of her feet, there are folds at least 3 inches deep in 4 different places from her knees down and she’s got all kind of rashes, discoloration, varicose veins, burst blood vessels and a sticky fucking film anywhere you touch that would make you sick, so lookin’ at Jessica’slegs is kinda refreshing even if it reminds me of this dude I know who quit drugs and became a triathlete, now every time I see him riding past me with shaved legs that look a lot like this I’ll have to call him Jessica.

I was just in the drug store buying topical cream for my wife’s inner thighs and saw some work out girl in her workout gear bending down to pick up some shampoo or some shit and I could see full beaver definition. the last thing I was looking at was her rippling fresh from the gym biceps, so the trick to dealing with a girl who’s got something going on that you don’t like or that reminds you of a dude or that makes you sick to your stomach is to focus on the parts you do like and the fact that strong legs allows a bitch to bounce off your dick like she’s riding a pony may make you change your opinion on Jessica and lead you to the Speed Skating Club or the Ski Team or the Bike Racing Group or the Girls Who Have Really Strong Legs Club to find your next girlfriend. Sometimes someone’s weaknesses are really their strength. It’s all about having some perspective.

Posted in:Jessica Simpson|Legs|Muscles|Unsorted|Working Out