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Archive for the Fat Category

2008

18

Nov

Kim Kardashian Is Fat and Photoshopped of the Day

There are a group of people out there who just don’t get it. They are mainstream, conventional and suburban. I came across one of those drones the other day and they were familiar with this site. They felt it was a great opportunity to tell me what I do isn’t legitimate, honest, honorable, or whatever other word they used, because I stopped listening. They asked me if I’d rather have my daughter marry a doctor, lawyer or accountant and I told him I didn’t have a daughter, but wouldn’t give a shit who she married just as long as she let me watch her give birth, because seeing a baby come out of a pussy, even my daughter’s pussy is like porn to me….

I was just trying to get the dude to fuck off, because I don’t really give a fuck what he thinks is legitimate, or whether he thinks what I write about is sleazy, useless drivel or porn, because it works for me. I get to sit on my ass all day, pretend I am busy, barely make enough money to pay for my server and if there is money left over, I can just drink more and not have to ask my wife to borrow shit, making her think I am dependent on her, but still remain enough of a hurtbag to not take any responsibility for myself or the family by paying for rent, food or utilities, because I just tell my wife I am working towards something, even though I am pretending and every day, the site is closer to dying, whether it is because of paparazzi agency lawsuits, FBI issued complaints from haters or not making the server fees cuz traffic is dying fast and companies don’t want to advertise…..or just my laziness….alcoholism or inability to make anything work….

But before I go, I decided I needed a purpose, something substantial, to really have next to my name in Wikipedia even though I tried to create a Wikipedia page about myself and shit got deleted, even though Perez Hilton and every other site have a Wikipedia page. I figured if I was the guy who outted something, or broke some story or even invented something, or brought something to light, then I would be legitimate, and not some hack with a really shitty computer. So that something I chose is to prove that Kim Kardashian is fat.

Now, I know it shouldn’t take that much work because shit is fucking obvious, so obvious my retarded neighbor who has the brain capacity of a 9 year old knows she’s fat, so it should be easy and easy works for me. I mean every girl I’ve ever bagged has been easy, every challenge I’ve put myself against has been easy, except for the time I wanted to walk 2 miles up hill because I didn’t have money for a bus and thougth I was going to die, but other than that, the only challenging thing I do is not drink myself to death.

So, I made the right choice in topic of study, because I don’t have much of an attention span, but I do know that every time I call this whore a pig, or fat, or disgusting, or claim she needs to work out, or get her stomach stapled like she was DJ AM or Roseanne, or Carnie Wilson, I get at least 3 emails, which is alot of me, telling me that the girls I like look like little boys, that Kim’s got some meat in all the right places and that she’s the hottest thing ever, and I just write back telling them that she’s just a product of photoshop, smoke and mirrors and you’re all getting fucked by the media.

She’s no natural beauty, she’s busted even with the plastic surgery she’s had and beyond her looks, she’s got nothing to offer the world, but leeching behavior that pretty much mocks the human race every day. There’s nothing hot about her, and the truth is that she’s overweight and in my new calling/ life work, in hopes to legitimize myself for Jewish judgemental, suburbanites trying to make their mom’s proud, who I really don’t care about, but the story fit into this post because it did happen yesterday, I came across a photoshop retouching company and guess who their portfolio guinea pig is Kardashian, probably because anyone who has seen a raw photo of her, know the work of a master needs to come in to make it worth lookin’ at…..and I ripped off their pics to prove my point that this bitch is a fucking cow, so stop emailing me about how she isn’t.

Picture 1 –

Before

After

Picture 2 –

Before

After

Picture 3 –

Before

After

Posted in:Fat|Kim Kardashian|Photoshop

2008

10

Nov

Lindsay Lohan and Her Fat Friend of the Day

Lohan is really taking this pretending to be a lesbian shit seriously, because women who like women, unlike men who like woman, are accepting of fat chicks. It’s like girls are all emotional and understanding not to mention like all things that make them look skinnier than they actually are via comparisson, and can see the person for who they are and not be phased by the horrible way someone looks. It’s like they share a special bond with each other, and that bond is that their period making them see past the impending heart attack, diabetes and varicose veins and overall no possible sex appeal, I mean even if she was the last pussy on earth, we’d rather jerk off, and have no problem climbing up a very thick thigh and crawling to a very big vagina, because the hefty person it’s attached to is a nice person beneath all the layers of fat and because crawling back into mommy’s woman is the basis of lesbianism…at least when coupled with not being able to land a man or being abused by a man….

As a man who is married to an obese woman, I can say that there is a reason why normal guys alienate them and put pressure on woman to try to keep fit, and that reason is the smells that come out of those hard to reach areas…..

So my theory that fat lesbians are lesbians because other girls are the only ones willing to give them they love they always wanted and fake lesbians are fake lesbians because of all the male attention they get from it remains truth.

Now I don’t know if this beast of a girl is actually one of Lohan’s vaginas she fucks, or if it’s a fan who won the make a wish foundation, or if it’s Lohan’s fashion accessory to make her look skinner than the cocaine does, or if it’s a relative or old friend who emotionally ate her way to this mess because her friend Lohan always got all the attention from boys leading her to realize life just isn’t fair and the fatter she got, the more people wanted to stay the fuck away from her, because people are superficial and judgmental, but a box of oreo cookies aren’t, but I do know that she’s got a body only a lesbian can like because she’s probably a nice girl, since her bikini body’s not really working on her side and she has to find something of value…..

Posted in:Fat|Lesbian|Lindsay Lohan

2008

04

Nov

Mischa Barton is Getting Fat in Tight Jeans of the Day

Like a bored housewife, depressed about where her life has gone and how her fairy tale wedding and dreams of a prosperous, happy, romanticized life didn’t really work out for her, trying to squeeze into her wedding dress to commit suicide in, not being able to fit one leg past where her waist once was, because she had given up long before actually deciding to end the pain that tuesday morning while the unappreciative kids are at school and the detached husband who resents her for not being the girl he married is at work, making the whole scene all that more sad to watch through binoculars from the next door window, you know with the whole breaking down and not following through with her earlier plan, because killing yourself next to your dress just doesn’t have the same dramatic effect she was aiming for, to have at least one thing you’d read in a classic love story happen to her in her life, Mischa Barton and her recent weight gain are fighting with her jeans….because I guess food and booze is the only substance that can distract her for her dying career….and here are the pics.

Posted in:Fat|Mischa Barton

2008

09

Oct

Randy Spelling and His Dog of a Girlfriend in a Bikini of the Day

Every time I have dreams about being a multi-millionaires son, who flies to exclusive events on a private jet and who dines in the best restaurants in the world, stays in the best hotels in the world, visits the most beautiful places in the world. The girls by my side and in my bed never look like the slob that’s with Randy Spelling, Tori Spelling’s brother, in these pictures. It’s safe to say that either motherfucker is one of those fucked up rich kids with major emotional issues and who can’t really live a normal life, because of his fucked up upbringing, leading to hot girls to stay the fuck away from him for fear he’ll have another one of his episodes, or he’s gay, because the only person who can love something that looks like this, is someone who is scared of admitting his sexuality and who can see past her disgustingness to really embrace the beautiful person she in on the inside, while straight dudes just go for the tits and pussy.

Posted in:Fat|Girlfriend|Randy Spelling

2008

08

Oct

Kim Kardashian’s Pretty Fucking Useless of the Day

The quality of this video is shit, but since I have a bunch of you who are into this slob, I figured I’d post it to remind you that she is neither hot nor serves a purpose beyond letting black guys piss on her. She is one of those uneducated, ill-informed, waste of space, who offers nothing to the world. In her defense, maybe her brain has been suffocated by fat tits and fat ass and the cum she’s choked on all these years. Maybe she has syphilis and it’s driving her CRAAAAZY, or maybe she’s just always been a spoiled cunt raised by a materialistic wallet fucking mother while her immigrant father was busy making money to buy his kids ponies, who fucking knows, but I do know that she just lives her self-absorbed life, worrying about what to wear and finding something to fit her ridiculously shaped body and figuring out how to make time to visit her boyfriend in New Orleans and has no real concern for anything beyond her spoiled brat self and you are all feeding this bitch’s ego, which is better than feeding her dinner because I hear you need a trough for that.

I suggest if you own a TV, watch the fucking debates, especially if you are someone in the public eye, because you might get asked some questions about it and it’s just better to have an opinion versus a useless “I don’t do politics, but I do do amateur porn” attitude. Today, I continue to hate Kardashian. How are you doing?

Here is the debate for you with an hour and a half to waste, I didn’t watch it because I am not American and don’t care, but I think you should.

Posted in:Fat|Kim Kardashian|Uneducated.

2008

06

Oct

Beyonce’s Fat Bikini Pictures of the Day

Beyonce was out in a bikini last week and I know I am slow on posting these pictures, but the last thing I think of when I see Beyonce in a bikini, is that I need to get these fuckers on the site as quickly as fucking possible, because my initial response is to pretend like I’ve never seen them, hoping they go away, until an email comes in suggesting I throw them on the site and I do because that reminder, reminds me, that some where out there, some motherfucker finds her hot. So while Beyonce’s husband/boyfriend/fiance Jay Z is out about town with his gang of sluts like Rihanna, Beyonce is on vacation with men in Tuxedos and the good news is that even she knows her fried chicken eating lined her arteries, ass and thighs, but never ventured to her tits, leading her to cover that shit up with a surong and for that, we thank her, because otherwise, these pictures would be a hell of a lot more devastating than they are.

Posted in:Beyonce|Bikini|Fat

2008

17

Sep

Tiffani Amber Thiessen’s Big Fat Triathlon of the Day

Hey Tiffani Amber Thiessen, where have you been all these years? An all you can eat buffet? That makes sense. What doesn’t make sense is that this bitch was at the same Triathlon as J.Lo. I have no idea if she came out alive or if she even participated, but I do know that she did stock up on carbs before and after the event, but that’s nothing new for her, it’s kinda what she’s been doing the last few years. There was a time when she was hot and this is her now. Enjoy….

Posted in:Fat|Tiffani Thiessen|Triathlon

2008

05

Sep

Kim Kardashian is a Fat Pig in Gogo Boots Shopping of the Day

Drunkenstepfather.com supports eating disorders. Kim Kardashian doesn’t.

This bitch looks hefty as fuck when shopping for new clothes because she outgrew her old wardrobe because overeating and being a lazy bitch does that do you. These pics may be old but who really cares…she always looks the same…

Posted in:Fat|Kim Kardashian|Uncategorized

2008

28

Aug

Keely Shaye Smith Bronsan is Still Fat in Her Bikini of the Day

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Keely Shaye Smith, although not as fat as my wife, is still not the woman Pierce Bronsan married. We should give her some recognition of the achievement that is wearing a bikini, not because she is defying the norm and embracing her really fat flaws that are more laziness and overeating than actual flaws, like a woman accepting who she is and not letting her stop her like she’s some kind of amputee going for a jog or some shit and doesn’t deserve that kind of acknowledgment or reward, but the mere fact that she managed to find a bikini in her size is legendary and one for the fuckin’ books. She’s disgusting, has no business getting out of her elastic waste band fat chick jeans, but does it anyway and I’d thank her for encouraging other fat chicks to do the same, but the last thing I want is to see more obesity scantily glad, so instead I’ll just tell her to fuck herself.

[ Images removed in compliance with DMCA Notice ]

Posted in:Bikini|Fat|Keely Shaye Smith Bronsan

2008

25

Aug

Michelle Trachtenberg Dresses Like a Fat Version of Her Boyfriend of the Day

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There was a time when Michelle Trachtenberg was the kind of Jewish girl I’d be willing to have sex with provided the opportunity arose and she was eager to piss off her parents by having sex with an old, fat, poor Mexican like so many teenage Jewish girls before her. I never sat around wondering what it would be like to climb her little jew leg to her jewish womb, but didn’t mind lookin’ at her do her thing.

That was before she ate one too many Kanishes and her hips went the way of her grandmothers’ after escaping the holocaust and finding happiness in America (the land of opportunity), making babies and hoarding as much food as possible both in her stomach and in her cupboards to be better prepared to deal with the fear of another bout with the starvation that comes with the genocide of her religion.

The truth is that her fat little jew legs and wide set jew hips that don’t balance out her little skinny jew head aren’t really what throw me off in these pics, it’s the fact that she’s wearing the same outfit as the dude she’s fuckin’ like they were on a cattle car to Auchwitz in their state issued uniform that does.

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Posted in:Fat|Michelle Trachtenberg|Shopping