I think my biological clock is ticking, maybe my last half retarded sperm is dying of cancer and telling the rest of me I’m almost officially infertile, because the last few weeks, I’ve been really wanting to fuck a pregnant chick….but not a pregnant chick of my own…since I don’t think girls will ever let me get them pregnant…I’m one of those guys who is the reason abortions were invented…but a pregnant chick who is pregnant with another dude’s baby….maybe it’s the challenge, cuz pregnant chicks generally don’t cheat on their husbands, or maybe I just like illegit children and the slutty mothers who make them…

Making Hilary Duff pretty desirable….even though she has a foreign object growing inside her….and she’s not even in revealing or tight clothes…

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I pretty much said it all in the title. Here’s some Hilary Duff pregnant, despite the fact that you’d assume her husband is a bit of a homo jock who lets his teammates bang her while he jerks off, because let’s face it, she got broad since marrying him…and now she’s broad in the uterus….but containing it all in a pair of her tight jean shorts so that her fetus doesn’t escape as she knows it may be a long time before she gets her man to cum inside her vagina, cuz he’s more into asshole…making this baby a fucking keeper….

I figure she should hold onto these shorts, cuz when the pregnancy is over, bitch is gonna need straps and tights to keep her vagina from dragging ont he ground…so get I expect to get used to this strategy to keep things in….

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Here are some new pictures of a fatter Hilary Duff who now has a reason for being fat, you know with being pregnant at 23 and all, because she grew up faster than the average girl, making her first billion by the time she’s 15, meaning she doesn’t need to start a family at 30 like a normal chick who isn’t from the trailer park….because this way…I assume she’s hoping her body will bounce back to its sensational broad back that she’s built up so that her husband could cum to as long as she had a hockey helmet on and her muscles rippled in excitement to the hazing….it’s a hockey life….

Either way, here she is in spandex with someone elses fetus inside her uterus…just the way you like girls you fuck…so long as it isn’t Hilary Duff, cuz like Britney she’s a good provider for deadbeat like you, but if you’re like me, then girls rely heavily on abortions to prevent that kind of thing from happening…if anything sometimes I think abortions were invented to avoid my reproduction….works for me.

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What better way to celebrate being 3 months pregnant with a billionaire homojock hockey player who has made her broad shouldered and now broad uterus and soon to be broad vaginaed and not even cuz it was team initiation season and she was the prop…than to throw on a pair of tights and show the world your amazing ass that we can fantasize about raw dogging, cuz clearly she doesn’t use condoms, but more importantly that we don’t have to worry about knocking up, even though Hilary Duff is one of those girls who if given the opportunity, you dig through the depths of your testicles and find that one sperm that isn’t two-headed, confused or half dead, and you make the motherfucker stick…cuz she’s a keeper and you’ve always envied K-Fed….here’s her ass.

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Here are some pictures of some Hilary Duff’s recently pregnant legs, who decided at 23, after a year of marriage that it’s a good time to be 3 months pregnant, even though she’s already thick and there’s no way she’ll ever bounce back from this, even though they say it’s easier to bounce back when you’re young, you’ll see, she’ll prove that theory wrong…

In an unrelated story, that I think may be related, Vancouver Canuck hockey player named Rick Rypien was found dead, after taking 9 months off hockey, which could very possibly be because Mike Comrie was his lover and the news put him over the fucking edge…at least that’s what I’m assuming…cuz I’m convinced there’s no way he’s not a HOMOJOCK…cuz he’s the reason for pre pregnant Hilary Duff’s thickness, when slapping a helmet on her and fucking her up the ass, it’s almost like the real homo thing….but now we just need to figure out how his cum went from anus to vagina….

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Hilary Duff is a thick bitch….I guess it’s not fatness cuz if it was, she wouldn’t get hired to be the face of some workout clothing company…instead I think it’s called marrying a billionaire jock who doesn’t need the money in being ls…making her thicken her Hilary Duff stuff so that when he fucks her up the ass from behind he can watch her muscles ripple…but that’s just my theory about the whole muscular thing…

Here’s the behind the scene…

Here’s the final version featuring Padma Lakshmi, Jenny McCarthy and Christie Brinkley and it looks as cheap as it fucking sounds…

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I didn’t have the rights to post the Hilary Duff pictures, so I decided to do my “artist rendition”, cuz bitch is built like a fucking fridge, thanks to her husband the Hockey Player’s influence in trying to make her more like the team when he fucks her from behind and slips the mullet hockey hair wig onto her…I know how these billionaire athletes who don’t need to be athletes cuz they are billionaires are…in it cuz they like the locker room…homosexuals masked by marriages to pop culture icons from a decade ago….and now bitch is stripped down…I assume as bait to lure more cock for Comrie to suck as he offers them the chance to bang his wife…without them really grasping what kind of threesome this is about to become…as far as I’m concerned – it’s a true story…

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When your husband is gay, this is what happens…he makes you practice ballet, or gymnastics or whatever the fuck this non-fucking shit is….cuz hockey was something that just worked out for his billionaire heir self, his real passion was in spandex pants….

See I’m not sure if Hilary Duff’s husband is gay, I just like to assume he is, cuz the idea of her being passed around the locker room to bring up team spirit, also lifts my spirits…and I just like to assume all athletes are gay…cuz of the amount of time they are naked and touching each other…I blame ritual hazings using broomsticks in assholes for this biased opinion….

Here’s another one of her working out so that she ends up broad and built like a man so that her husband will finally have sex with her…but only from behind and if she’s wearing a pair of tighty whites and a wig.

Thanks for using twitter for giving a glimpse into your life…

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The whole reason mom jeans are hot is because they ride pussy like bitch was a 70s slut on her way to the disco to rail an 8 ball of coke, before getting gangbanged in the back room by the entire staff…

Covering that cameltoe that is inevitible when you put these pants on is some kind of mean shit that takes away all the job in watching a broad bitch rock the shit…

That’s why Hilary Duff is the Mom Jeans Cameltoe Killer. Call PETA. She’s fucked up everything.

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My theory is that there is no way anyone would wear this kind of carpet/blanket in public unless they were trying to cover up a fat uterus….I mean the timing is right she’s been married for at least a year…but her husband’s a homosexual hockey player so babies don’t make sense…unless of course it’s one of his teammates baby which is possible cuz there’s no team building like letting your team fuck your wife….

Sure this is all speculation…but sometimes make belief is better than reality…

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