She’s pretty young…I mean looking at her small, despite being 6 foot 2, body on the beach in dance, reminds me way too much of girls in high school at a sleep over, which to some of you may be erotic, but to me is just awkward. You know it takes a certain amount of fucking to make a girl in a bikini have any sex appeal, but when they are just young and dancing, but more importantly shaking their not quite post-pubescent asses, but more importantly showcasing how bendy their young bodies are, it just doesn’t do it for me. Maybe that will all change in 5 months when she turns 18, and all of a sudden she becomes that fully developed woman, because you know 5 months in a 17 and 7 month year old’s life, so much is going to change. She won’t even be the same girl, because motherfucker, she’ll be a woman. Right?

Posted in:Ireland Baldwin

I can’t hate Ireland Baldwin because we are both Pug Whisperers, you know people of the Pug, who unfortunately have been trapped by their flat faced spell, but I wouldn’t hate on her even if she wasn’t a pug person, like me.

In fact, I would celebrate the fact that she’s young, almost 18, a person of interest thanks to her famous parents and the scandal that arouse during their divorce. I would celebrate the fact that she’s likely not a virgin, as no one is, and that between now and her 18th birthday nothing will change in terms of what she looks like, making her a little less creepy to lust after, you know she’s on the cusp and by the time the lawsuit went through, she’d already be 18, making the jury have a hard time charging you with your sex offending ways you hebephile.

Not to mention, she’s 6 foot 2 and could pretty much beat the fuck out of you, which to some of you, that may be part of her appeal, but to me is just a good reason for legs, legs that will likely be a swimsuit model one day, because these Hollywood brats aim high career-wise.

These pics from her instagram include being high on 4:20 at Disney, like all 14-18 year olds should be on 4:20, an activity that embarrasses me when adults partake, but more importantly, the motherfucking bikini.

Here’s the future, 6 months before it happens.

Posted in:Ireland Baldwin

Hey Perverts. Alec Baldwin’s teen daughter, who is 6 months away from being legal, which means she probably doesn’t drink, get high or fuck. You know all wholesome and that’s why she’s just playing on the trampoline in her pajamas like a 7 year old, because that’s where her maturity level is, yet all you people are following her, and noticing her 6 foot 2 frame and its modeling, and celebrating her like she’s the next Miley, Taylor Momsen, Lohan, and all the other jailbait right before it turned 18 and fell off…and I am posting these to show you just how creepy you are for creeping on someone so innocent…right….cuz all rich girls are innocent…they are never more fucked up than pornstars….

Here’s a little doggy style crawl…

Here’s a little ass grab….

You all make me sick…with your preversions…

Posted in:Ireland Baldwin

If you’ve ever wanted to see a 6 foot 2, 17 year old, rich kid with celebrity parented, twerk on the internet in a onsie.

It just happened.

Posted in:Ireland Baldwin

17 and a half year old Ireland Baldwin, who is at a very crucial 6 months away from being 18, still illegal, but not all that different than who she will be when she is legal, who has probably been having sex since she was 14, and is boy crazy obsessed with her boyfriend, leading me to think they have a lot of sex, you know how rich kids are, just as fucked up as poor gutter kids, just in nicer clothes and living rooms, not actually having to strip to work, but instead getting half naked for the love of it. We blame daddy issues, I blame just wanting to be loved…and I’m loving these pics she’s posting to instagram. They are a sign of what is to come. ALl it took was some good genetics and a daddy who called her a pig on a voicemail leaked to the world when she was coming up.

The only thing that freaks me out about her is that she’s 6 foot 2….but I can deal since I’m just lookin at pics and tall chicks all look better in pics…

Posted in:Ireland Baldwin

Ireland Baldwin is a some 6 food 2, 17 year old, who you may remember from being on the receiving end of Alec Baldwin’s evil rant, where he called her a little pig, when she was 10, during his divorce with her mother, Kim Bassinger.

The problem with 17 year olds is that you really just know what is gonna happen when they turn 20. They may look decent now, but shit, as soon as the metabolism dies a slow and tragic death, they fill the fuck out.

The problem with girls who are 6 foot 2, is that they are 6 foot 2.

The good news is that you’re a pervert, she’s in a bikini, she’s illegal for you to lust after cuz you are in America, she’s legal for me to lust after cuz I am in Canada, making my perception a little more objective, and not blinded by her being some forbidden fruit, and the conclusion is, she takes a decent pic, she’ll be a model cuz of her connections, but she’d probably be better at joining the Volleyball team or some shit….

You’ll masturbate to her, and Alec Baldwin will love you for it, and by love yo, I mean pick fights with you, from his Twitter account, which is also his charity, that in and of itself is always kinda funny.

Posted in:Ireland Baldwin

Ireland Baldwin isn’t 18, but she’s gonna be a babe when she grows up, in 6 fucking months, when she turns 18, not to mention already legal in Canada, unless she wants to strip or do porn or buy smokes, but not all that perverted to lust after cuz in 6 months, she’ll look and act the fucking same, it’s not like some fucking revelation filled with wrinkles, maturity and life experience is gonna happen. Not to mention kids get their periods at 7, fuck by 12, and have seen more porn than you have since they were raised on the fucking internet, making those 6 months almost just formality….

Her parents Alec Baldwin and Kim Bassinger…I’ve already fought with Alec Baldwin on social media for reserving a date sometime next year with her, because Alec Baldwin doesn’t like me on Social Media. We’ve gone back and forth a few times, the latest over his daughter, a daughter who he publicly shat on during his Divorce, leading to the hope of daddy issues, because I love Daddy issues, especially when they look like this.

Posted in:Ireland Baldwin

The highlight of my TWITTER CAREER was not when Ashton Kutcher’s account got hacked and I was one of 2 people he blocked, it wasn’t when Tila Tequla’s army went after me for making fun of her, it wasn’t when every single celebrity from high to low level told me off…it wasn’t even when Alec Baldwin retweeted me…putting me into a whole new level of credibility….it was when I was tipped off by DRUNK SLUT that Ireland Baldwin, the daughter of Alex Baldwin had bikini pics posted…

She is famous for being the kid Alec called a pic in this message to….

Now she’s famous for being 16 and in a bikini I guess….unless these are pics of someone else that she took, which is possible, cuz my journalism doesn’t go that deep….and either does my vagina-like penis…

Posted in:Ireland Baldwin