I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Archive for the Jessica Alba Category

2009

31

Aug

Jessica Alba is Trying to Wash Away Her Dirty Sins of the Day

3 Comments »

Based on Alba’s baby, it’s safe to say she’s a dirty fucking girl, because to have a baby takes cum attaching itself to a uterus and in order for that to happen, Alba had to pull the condom out of the garbage and put it inside out and shove the shit inside her at least 20 times before it actually worked, cuz Cash Warren knew she was skipping her pill to trap him, and insisted on using rubbers that he brought, sometimes doubling the fuck up just in case she poked a hole in the shit or one was to break because she lined her pussy with Vaseline or oil based lubricant that destroys condom or some shit cuz she was just that desperate to get knocked the fuck up and trap the man she convinced herself was her soulmate.
So seeing her with wet hair reminds me that like my friend who fucked a girl with AIDS, no matter how many times she scrubs herself down, even to the point of bleeding, the damage is done and she’s still got serious baggage in the form of a kid and despite how great being a stepfather is, it’s not something I recommend for masturbation fanatasies…..dirty girl.

Here are some pictures of her from last week bending over that I forgot to post…..

PICS VIA FAME

Posted in:Dirty Girl|Jessica Alba|Wet

2009

03

Aug

Jessica Alba Inspires New Mothers With This Body of the Day

5 Comments »

It’s taken a while, but it looks like Jessica Alba’s gone and got her body back. I guess we can all stop hating on Cash Warren and calling him a muderer for killin’ her body and we can go back to sympathizing with him knowing that this bitch trapped the motherfucker for life, but at least she’s lookin good now while doin’ it.

Let’s just hope for everyone’s sake, the next time she lets a dude cum inside her that she has the decency to herself and the rest of us to get fuckin’ Plan B morning after pill, or better yet a fuckin’ abortion, because abortions are like porn to me, they are also a total relief and if I could, I’d devote my life to abortion, but unfortunately it takes years of schooling to be an abortionist, that you can work your way around if you want to get arrested. I’ve looked into it.

Here’s her body in her bikini for her big reveal you’ve all already masturbated to..

Posted in:Bikini|Body|Jessica Alba

2009

13

Jul

Jessica Alba Shows a Little Bra of the Day

4 Comments »

Jessica Alba was out showing a little bra to remind us all that despite having a kid that murdered her sex appeal, vagina and naked body and left shit in a bloody pile in the corner, she’s still alive and kickin’ and by kickin’ I mean boring as fucking shit…not that shit can’t be exciting depending on the day, but Jessica Alba can’t, she’s too uptight and even pictures of the cunt being wild aren’t even PG, I heard it’s gotta do with the no-nudity clause in her boring contract, unless it’s to trick dudes to not leave you by getting pregnant.

Posted in:Bra|Jessica Alba

2009

08

Jun

Jessica Alba is Still Alive of the Day

4 Comments »

In case you are wondering, Jessica Alba is still alive. She hasn’t killed herself yet, she’s just killed her career. It’s one of those let your emotional neediness dictate what’s best for you situations, and instead of just letting that Cash Warren asshole take his herpes elsewhere, she had to go and sabotage his life but taking his cum rag and and wringing it out into her womb. At least society will have its revenge on her as she slowly gets more and more obsolete, like this computer I am trying to post with, only with floppier mom tits and here is her bra strap holdin’ them shits up.

Posted in:Alive|Jessica Alba

2009

15

May

Jessica Alba Gets Some Tickets of the Day

1 Comment »

Oh Shit. Jessica Alba got 2 parking tickets, one was because her meter was up, the other because she was parked too far away from the curb and guess what, she’s gonna have to pay them. A whole 100 fucking dollars at most to the city, like she can’t fucking afford that shit. Tickets are only fun when they happen to people you don’t like, who are down on their luck, who just lost their job, who have maxed out credit cards and have resorted to food stamps and food drives to survive, when it happens to celebrities, it’s boring, they don’t even get inconvenienced enough to take the shit off the windshield and have hired help take care of it. If we really wanted to get a good laugh at Jessica Alba, in some kind of revenge for ruining her body and sex appeal, it’d have to be more hardcore than a couple tickets, I’m talkin’ hit by a bus,or rushed by a stalker, pretty much anything but this….

Posted in:Jessica Alba|Parking Tickets

2009

17

Apr

Creepy Jessica Alba Video of the Day

5 Comments »

I am working on getting some posts up, I just got distracted with laziness, but I know you are here and need to be fed useless commentary on useless people who aren’t quite as useless as me. While I upload pictures, I figured I’d post this Alba on Leno video I came across that is creepy as hell. Her fans are relentless and went to the trouble of not only capturing the footage from their TV, but also sat there editing it into some slow motion weirdness that needs a soundtrack, you know some Lionel Richie shit, or any love song to really secure how creepy this motherfucker is.

Knowing that you are a creep, I figured I’d post it for you. I am nice like that.

Posted in:Jessica Alba|Leno|Video

2009

12

Mar

Jessica Alba Rides Her Bike in Paris of the Day

1 Comment »

Jessica Alba went on a romantic bike ride in Paris, you know since it is the city of love, alone. I hear she followed this up with a bottle of wine, some harsh cigarettes, because she’s cliche and alone, because Cash Warren took advantage of the opportunity to get the fuck away from her and stay back home to watch the baby, you know the one she trapped him into suckin’ up his unhappiness and doin’ the right thing by taking her back after he was so close the the escape he could almost taste the groupie whore pussy spread and dripping for him…before getting roped back in.

Posted in:Bike Ride|Jessica Alba|Paris

2009

02

Mar

Jessica Alba Rockin’ Some Fruit of the Day

9 Comments »

Here’s a picture of Jessica Alba showing off where Cash Warren came in her a few hours before she spat it out into a cup and hid it in the fridge until he passed out asleep and she artificially inseminated herself to get pregnant and trap the motherfucker for life. Good job.

Here’s the rest of her eating fruit for you people who get off on healthy eating like you were a couple fucking hippies backpacking Europe and just found the first vegan restaurant on the trip. I am not sure what that means, but it was stupid and I’m keeping it.

Posted in:Fruit|Jessica Alba

2009

24

Feb

Jessica Alba Pretends to Like her Kid of the Day

8 Comments »

Here’s some Jessica Alba staged pictures of her and her kid playing and like she’s the love of her life, because of the negative press she’s recently got from me about how she wants nothing to do with her kid, not even breast feed it. Well I don’t buy this shit, you’re an actor and everything you do is a lie, a very bad actor and this is bullshit.

As soon as they got home she locked the kid in the soundproof room in the basement where she keeps him so he doesn’t bother her. She has some immigrant women care for him between days her and her publicist agree she should bring him out to light and pretend to be having the time of her fucking life being a “mom” photo opportunity.

Posted in:Fake|Jessica Alba|Kid

2009

23

Feb

Jessica Alba and Her Deflated Mom Tits of the Day

8 Comments »

I have this theory that Jessica Alba couldn’t deal with the rejection of being ditched by Cash Warren back when he escaped her crazy, so she tricked him into knocking her up. Whether she poked holes in the condom, or ran to find the used condom and inserted it inside out are details we’ll never know, but despite his efforts to no get her pregnant, he failed and she won.

The only issue is that now that the baby has come, it means a lot of fucking responsibility that this cunt wasn’t ready for so she pawned it off on her staff and mother and a couple of wet nurses and the proof of this theory are her deflated titties, there’s no way a milkin mom would be this flat unless she sprung a leak.

I know some of you are fans, so here are her pics from God knows where, but I assume something that has to do with Oscar because like an annoying relative visiting from out of town, they takeover Hollywood and don’t know how to fuck off.

Bonus – Here She Is Acknowledging the Paparazzi Because Her Life is Like a Fairy Tale…

Posted in:Jessica Alba|Mom Tits