Kate Upton is in SHAPE Magazine, but not necessarily in SHAPE, even though she’s been working out like a crazy person with an Athlete person to try to be as fit looking as possible, because when you have tits like that, you’re predisposed to be a fat chick, and it’s a constant battle to maintain the tits that are also the only thing people care about and a figure that’s still decent to look at and not broad, boxy, thick, or sloppy…something she hasn’t managed too well in the past, despite being a Swimsuit model, but that I guess is trying to polarize because if you’re in SHAPE magazine, you’re programming people to assume that means you’re in SHAPE…but it doesn’t…

She does look better than she has in the past, so it’s nice to see a girl keep up the tits…so athletic..you can tell cuz there’s a basketball in the pic.

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Kate Upton is taking on some fashion shoots, you know more high concept fashion editorial shit to show the world how diverse a model she is, and that she’s not jusst some sloppy titty bikini model the average American man loves as she spills over her bikini top setting off warning signs that she is in fact a fat chick in training…to not be a fat chick yet still a fat chick because her body is a fucking wreck if she doesn’t train…

She went viral, she go so fucking popular, all for having massive tits, and that is a good reminder to all girls out there that if you have small tits, you are nothing. You don’t matter. No one wants you. You don’t stand a chance….all the money out there for marketing will be sent to the girl with the big tits….

Well, she’s trying to get her name back out there now that she works out and the whole thing is magical..only because of her sloppy tits spilling out of her shirt…right…

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I haven’t jerked off to hard nipples in a white t-shirt since High School gym class, when I was 15 years old, and bras didn’t have the same level of padding they do today, and girls who happened to have big pre-hormone in the foot tits, had the big nipples to match, which was hard to take as a budding young pervert….who’d have to run to the the bathroom for a quick jerk off session hoping not to get caught…

I am not about to jerk off to hard nipples now, like that virgin 15 year old, but I will still look at them, as Busty, boxy, big overrated Kate Upton walks around shamelessly with them knowing that’s all anyone cares about when it comes to her…this is her marketing campaign….cuz the rest of her is pretty shit.

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Kate Upton POSTED a bikini picture, because she’s hard at work in Turks and Caicos…wearing bikinis with confidence, which she did when she was 40 pounds heavier…because that’s what delusional, “I can’t do wrong”…”I’m so hot, the world loves me”…does to a set of huge tits…because she know as long as the huge tits were there, she’d be good…

Well, she works out daily now, her whole instagram feed is her working out, and she’s still doughy, but knows her angles, she’s been faking not being doughy her entire career….I guess the fear is losing the tits, you can’t lose the tits, the tits are what the world is obsessed with, even if they are likely terrifying when unleashed…and I guess you can cross reference her leaked nudes for that…

I encourage all girls to post their bikini pics from whatever angle they choose…because I think half nakedness is all that matters…oh and know your angles, I like being lied to in photos if it makes the fat bitch a hotter bitch.

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I hate that I am posting or promoting the new episode of Lip Sync Battle for Spike, who have done zero to nothing to ever promote me, at least not that I remember, I feel like they have never done anything for me…

Well, they have one show that works still, in an era where TV is dead, and they milk the fuck out of it, like you’ll want to milk the fuck out of Kate Upton’s tits, while she’s on all fours…because as fat as Kate Upton has been, despite it being ignored, her tits have always been why she matters, I mean that and her family fortune because one of them invented the Washing Machine, but that doesn’t matter..when you put a bitch with fat tits on all fours…the people who like fat tits, which is every dude everywhere, will like watching…it’s her best angle…thanks to her push up bra..

YES this is Spike pandering for views..but sometimes…you just got to give motherfucker the views they want…because there’s a fat bitch with big tits on all fours showing off her tits..

IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN…

Sure, shameless, low hanging fruit, but that’s what life is about and I am glad to see people branded as Men’s tv are still bringing the misogyny in this patriarchy…

We as men need wet t-shirt contests, growin women in girls in school girl outfits and really all slutty costumes…it is what makes us work, and what gets girls work…without us being so basic…so many of these women that are millionaires today – wouldn’t exist…because so many women who are millionaires did shit like this…magic…so simple…but the male mind is simple..quit trying to fuck with it and make us a bunch of girls.

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Kate Upton’s monster tits are in Vogue Thailand, a very prestigious bootleg that is usually full of Lady Boys used as a menu for the british Tourists coming for to come in Lady Boys…idea children…at least that’s what I assume goes on a VOGUE Thailand, because that’s the only thing that really goes on in Thailand…the latest fashions aren’t that interesting to locals…but rather the latest ways to see your children to tourists is…

DOESN’T MATTER…..what does matter is that Kate Upton is still as prestigious as she once was – after buying her career with her Washing Machine inheritance – her great – grandfather invented the washing machine – so that she could have a career as the monster mid-western 17 year old tits dudes jerked off to…before the rest of her caught up with her by 19…and she was forced to live fat in shame in the corner..until realizing “My boyfriend is an athlete and we have a gym in my house, maybe I should use it, so that magazines like VOGUE THAILAND feature me like I matter”….all while trying to continue her acting career that only happened because she was viral internet popular…you know…but her tits…they are bigger than my head and that is always fun.

Here’s a video.

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Apparently this is video of someone named Erin Foster poking Kate Upton’s big sloppy tit – and people are pretty excited about it……because Kate Upton, rich kid, has been milking her tits forever, like the cow that she is, and she’s not about to stop now…they are her only real asset, the only thing going for her, I mean other than her trust fund she’s got from her rich family who invented the fucking washing machine, probably thinking “when we’re long dead, I hope our patent allows our HEIRS to use their tits for fame”….FINGERS CROSSED..

Her tits are sloppy and for someone who likes sloppy things because they are disgusting they are great…even though I find her pretty fucking disgusting.

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Mariah Carey and Her Monster Tits were also at that very same event…..all crazy looking….but busty…in a bra too small for her because she’s crazy…but not too crazy to expose the nippple…

Kate Upton was also there…

I feel like this is the kind of picture some of the worst nerds out there would fucking love to jerk off to, so that’s my motivation in posting it…

Kate Upton, big girl marketed as a skinny girl, despite being a big girl, because she’s rich as fuck and could create or buy her own destiny / career…who has been starving herself and working out hard the last two years to be less fat….showed up to an Oscar Party…with her gunt in tow….where she met who I assume is Chistopher Walken….but who really could be anyone she’s trying to suck up to to further her career….

And Nina Dobrev…who looks like she’s dying of AIDS was there, but should probably have been over at the Elton John AIDS event…due to her looking like she’s got AIDS…but I’ve heard she’s got herpes…not AIDS…what do I know..

Nina Agdal was there in a sheer dress – and all it took was fucking Leonardo DiCaprio to get her there…good strategy…

Hooker Rat Cow was at the Vanity Fair event, because this bitch and her social media account money, have milked as many opportunities as fucking possible. She goes to every single event she can get into – to be some socialite – or to reposition to polarize herself as a legit celebrity, or model, and not a low life naked for attention gutter slut….that we now this famewhore is….trying so hard…while being garbage….amazing tits though…that’s all that matters…

Sofia Vergara brought her ass out to an event…sure she’s from TV…but she gets it done girl….

Katy Perry was there…not hot…but trying to be hot…making for a very weird face that has one at life in a push up bra….less fat than she used to be…but equally annoying I’m sure…

Thandie Newton Dressed Like Michael Jackson…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE OSCAR PICS CLICK HERE

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So the biggest news on my social media – as of last night was that Kate Upton is the covergirl of this year’s Sports Illustrated issue that doesn’t matter, that no one cares about, but that the idiots at SI SWIM think is a sure shot, that will get press because there is a story and she’s gone onto be their saving grace the last 10 years as their beach gets flooded from the melting ice caps, which to them is instagram…a place where anyone can imitate their “prestigious” and “expensive” shoots with a fucking iphone…where the girls…so many girls are as hot if not hotter than the models they use…because let’s face it…they aren’t innovative, interesting, and the proof is in the big titty pudding…

I will assume that Kate Upton’s rich family either owns the magazine, or is fucking the publisher, or was just their meal ticket and figure – let’s take the press…we know we are only selling 10 issues anyway…

The good news is that she’s not as fat as she was in her fat years…she works out now….and her tits are still big…but photoshopped catalog bathing suit pics of a tired bitch, instead of hunting and finding a new hot bitch, is just not sustainable…it’s a flawed business…because sure it’s “trending” on Facebook…but because SI SWIM has good PR and the Media is a fucking scam…it’s not because people like it, think it’s hot, or care…

Awesome photoshopped bikini pics of bitches we are tired of us and can see naked on google…

THANKS FOR THAT BRO….

What garbage…garbage they hope saves their business…they even call her “Kate The Great”….which is more like “Kate the One White Trash Who Buy Our Bullshit Like Cuz She’s Been Marketed Right”….

I mean I guess SI has always fucking sucked…

Here she is on the promo tour…

They paid Jimmy Kimmel to announce it like this bullshit matters…

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