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Archive for the Kelis Category

2011

25

Jan

Kelis’ Dress Comes With a View of the Day

Not that the view is all that amazing…This is no million dollar shit you’d see on the HGTV or anything but she claims her Milkshake Brings All the Boys To the Yard and from my understand of urban-speak- that means she gives superhead like she was SUPERHEAD- but from my experience any self-proclaiming good-head giver is usually shitty at giving head….you see every single girl I have ever met has told me she sucks dick like a pro and unfortunately, I haven’t had my dick sucked by every single girl I’ve met (I’m talking to you girl at the sandwich place), but those of whom who have made such claims to me and did end up sucking my dick were never amazing, guys just tell bitches they give the best head when they are gettin head at that time,cuz it is the best head they are getting at that moment, it’s some heat of the moment shit we say hoping you’ll swallow like the whore you clearly are, don’t take it personally, you’re the one with a dick in your mouth….and don’t take the words of encouragement to heart bitches…cuz when it’s coming from the owner of that dick, motherfucker is your number one fan, your fucking personal cheerleader until he cums….

That said, her face is battered, so bitch better be good at suckin’ dick when she looks like this…one of those things she probably practiced so much her nose fell off like she was Michael Jackson or some shit…

Posted in:Kelis

2010

31

Aug

Kelis Shitty Bra in a Shitty See Through of the Day

Deperate times call for desperate measures. I’ve spent my day looking for the hottest bullshit I could find on celebrity cunt I hate, but nothing was as good as this morning’s Salma Hayek tits, so I’m scrambling trying to find the goods, and all I could come up with was this disguting Kelis bitch in a fucking see thru and shit looks more lie Jay Z in a granny afro wig than pussy I wanna fuck, but she’s got a bra on, and that’s all it takes for me to decide whether she’s relevant or not…I am that pathetic…no matter how disgusting it is and Kelis is my proof of that….Unfortunately….

Posted in:Kelis

2010

03

Mar

Kelis’ Performance Brought All the Boys to the Yard of the Day

I ordered a milkshake the other day cuz I am fat as fuck and when I told the girl to make sure it brings all the boys to the yard and she didn’t crack a smile and instead just gave me a dirty fucking look like that I was a lame old man who bbored her and offended her, so dirty I was pretty sure she wanted me to fucking die. That’s when I realized that maybe that song may have hit a farther back than I thought and maybe it was more of a one-hit wonder than anything memorable that would carry on for generations…or maybe it was just a tired joke she’s heard way too many times working there and that she now can’t help but hate anyone who tries to pull it off like a loser the person must be if they find it funny enough to say…

That said, I am not the only one milking the milkshake song, here is Kelis still milking it while slutting it up during a performance I approve of because no matter how ridiculous the bitch may look or be wih her stupid grey femmullet hair and awkard body….she’s still acting like a fucking whore on stage and I love fucking whores….if they don’t charge too much….

Pics via LFI

Posted in:Dirty|Kelis

2010

29

Jan

Kelis Cameltoe Pictures of the Day

I never understood the whole horse fetish . I remember I came across the shit years ago, where motherfuckers had these leather harnesses that looked like horse heads, they’d have horsetail buttplugs, and shit was a huge thing, like we lived in a time before the automobile, when your horse and a native were the only thing you had to fuck when crossing the frontier in search for gold…

I also never understood these hipster idiot club kids who wore fetish gear in public like it was stylish or shocking or some shit because it just looks stupid and I sure as hell don’t get what Kellis is doing here, it’s like she’s some kind of princess from another planet but shit looks like a fucking joke….what I do get though is cameltoe, cuz all that there is to that is a pussy big enough to each whatever clothing a bitch is wearing…and here are the weird pics…

Pics via LFI

Posted in:Cameltoe|club kid|Kelis

2008

24

Nov

Kelis Panty Upskirt of the Day

I don’t know when these pictures were taken, but I figure a while ago, since we haven’t heard shit from Kelis in a long time, but I think it’s safe to say that her milkshake didn’t bring all the boys to the yard, they were already there and they figured it’d be better than playing another game of pick-up basketball, but she wouldn’t want us knowing that she’s the town whore, she’d rather us think she’s highly desirable, and people go to her, when in reality, they just shove their dicks in her mouth because it is open, willing and waiting, and 10 of your friends just got down with it and they’ll call you gay if you don’t follow-through.

Either way, I find something seriously offensive about her panties, maybe it’s got something to do with my confusion as to what lies beneath, maybe it’s got to do with you being a racist who doesn’t think he’s a racist, but I know, there’s nothing hot about this picture, so in attempts to murder my site, think of this as another gash in it’s website arm that I’m hoping will make it website bleed to death, because I know that no one wants to see this shit but post anyway, with total disregard to your needs. I’m a real dick who deserves to be ignored.

Posted in:Kelis|Panties