Lohan is the best. There’s so many rumors about her lately, from homewrecking, to lesbianism with Kristen Stewart, to being asked to leave the set of the show she’s on, to ditching rehab for Coachella, reminding me that she still fucking matters, something I’ve been saying forever, you see cuz as hard as she falls off, she’s still Lohan and she’s still got great fucking tits. I’m on her team, in her court, and would love to be in her bed.

These are a few pics she posted to instagram…reminding me that I would also like to brush Lindsay Lohan’s teeth….with my dick.

Speaking of toothpaste….

Here are pics of her in bed with Charlie Sheen….from their show she is probably going to win a Golden Globe for hot tits….right?

I love me some Lohan.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

Before my love for Lohan, or at least my fake stalker, hoping to get arrested as a publicity stunt, that no one paid attention to was replaced with Miley Cyrus, Amanda Seyfried, and pretty much any actress who still gets work and that I am not tired of hearing about, I was a huge fan of Lohan’s perfect tits, that after a lot of debate, have been decided are just awesome fakes. Turns out, I still am and that she’s still got a warm, spot in my bed next to my fat diabetic sweaty, apnea gurggling wife and pug.

When I see her walking bra-less and in a tank top, when she’s supposed to be in lock down, I can’t help but feeling all those things I once felt for her, which isn’t really much considering I have no emotions, and was more a “hey that girl on TV has great tits”…but it’s better than forgetting she fucking exists, even if she wants me to, since she stopped texting me 3 years ago, and I feel that was both of our peak….even if she’s still fucking perfect.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

I am still a fan of Lindsay Lohan. I think she’s got serious potential and good things will eventually come her way….because let’s face it…she’s Lindsay Lohan…and herpes or not…I’d love to smear that vagina all over my face…

I was really hoping her sentence would lead to her in jail. I figure she could use the time out of society, and since she’s already a lesbian…or was a lesbian…she’d be in heaven…like on set of a lesbian porn scene….

With all celebs breaking the law, she got off easy….90 days in a lockdown rehab facility….30 days of community service…..18 months of therapy….

If only all people with her record got treated this way…breaking the law would be a lot more fun to do….but not all people are celebrities and don’t get that preferential treatment…

I’m just hoping she doesn’t die….cuz I’m into her…or at least her tits..and think they have a few more years in them….

She’s just a broken girl…and I don’t think this is really news….but I’m posting it anyway…cuz I like to live and breathe all things Lohan….when I remember she exists…like on sentencing days like today.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

Hands down…Lindsay Lohan is my dream girl….she is the ultimate in Hollywood, she represents a perfect balance of class, luxury, mental health disorders, addiction, sex appeal, broken childhood, and broken dreams…..and one of life’s great tragedies was that I didn’t marry her back when I had the chance…not that I officially ever had the chance to marry her, but she did follow me on twitter, and I guess I could have proposed to her until she said yes in private messages….and now the only way I’ll ever touch her is if I become really famous for doing nothing….and if she falls off even harder than she already is….or if I become a airport security guy like this asshole mocking me with his vagina scans of her he should release to the internet – cuz sometimes it is better to lose your job for the greater good of man….

All this to say. I still love me some LOHAN.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

This is the trailer of some movie called InAPPropriate Comedy that is produced, or written, or directed by the genius millionaire hooker beater Vince over at the Slap Chop….the concept is pretty simple…inappropriate jokes….you know just a pile of nonsense with obvious joke after obvious joke that I probably could have and should have written…because I want to make money too…and despite hating everything in Hollywood…this looks pretty alright….staring Rob Schneider, Adrien Brody and most importantly Lindsay Lohan has a cameo where she plays a little Marilyn Monroe with a little panty flash…and the only thing disappointing in this is that Lohan’s doing these stupid comedies and not more serious straight to DVD rolls where we get to see her tits…because that’s all she’s become…a host body for those awesome tits…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

I guess R.E.M. hasn’t died of AIDS yet, because they just released a video OVER 1 MONTHER AGO – that no one gave a fuck about until they realized that Lindsay Lohan was in it earlier today…..

Her cameo is all of 30 seconds and she’s rockin’ her fake porn lips, posing slutty half naked, while people take pics of her….all set to a horrible fuckinbg song that makes me want to get sodomized like I was Michael Stipe and die of AIDS so that I either get where he’s coming from in this pile of shit before not being stuck in a world where this kind of shit exists. Maybe I’m being Dramatic….but I guess that’s just what Lohan’s awesome tits do to me…cuz seeing her star in garbage like this…when she should be staring in Oscar Winning porn movies with me….is a bigger tragedy than her life is….

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

Lohan was at Club Avenue when she got into some sort of argument with a female patron and it became physical. We’re told cops came and arrested Lindsay for allegedly assaulting her

Here is the pic of the girl Lohan went nuts on…because Lohan is nuts…

I don’t see much damage but I am sure it is there…and that’s just what crazy people do…all that pent up aggression of people mocking her when she really believed she was gonna prove herself with her last job..only to realize her producers, directors and all the people who suck her dick lied to her….humiliated her…and made a mockery out of her.,….

She’s a mess, she’s fallen off, it is a tragedy, cuz I coulda saved her..but she didn’t believe when we spent that night in a hotel together…and that’s an even bigger tragedy…

Crazy girl…I still believe….in you and your chins ability to win an oscar…

This kind of behavior is pretty obvious…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

I love Lindsay Lohan…and I know Lindsay Lohan is trying her best with the insanity she’s been given…to have a normal and successful life…and I know there is no real plan or intent to be a weird failure…cliche child star…who was prostituted by her parents and now confused as to which way to turn….I know she actually thinks Liz and Dick will be her big break….her welcome back to the world of acting…and I know her fake lips, botox face, that makes her look like a weird, used, washed up, stripper, or low level pornstar face…is actually her thinking she looks good…but it’s all too fucking clowny…

Now, I’m a fan of Lohan, her tits, her ass, her skillset…even her personality…she’s funny and a good time…just a victim of her elements…but shit…whatever she’s done to her face…looks like it belongs in a fucking circus….gettting out of a small car with 12 of her friends…a car we can all hope she’s not driving….

Here she is at some Premiere for Liz and Dick last night..some shit she is staging legal issues to get more coverage for….when all she really needs to do is juggle and make animals out of balloons…with my liz and dick….

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

I wish this Lindsay Lohan lawsuit shit was a hell of a lot more erotic…but instead shit is just weird….even depressing…and I figure if I want a convict to masturbate to…I might as well just hire one off the street who is way less maintenance than this white collar crime bullshit…I like my unstable women a little less hollywood and a lot more down on their fucking luck to find their next hit…not to order their next meal at their 5 star hotel’s room service.

Lohan coulda been saved…but I am pretty sure – she’s fallen off so hard she can’t get back up…ever….all while wasting the tax payers money with spoiled brat bullshit.

But I’ll still believe there’s hope cuz I am a Lohan believer….and I know like a phoenix she will rise from the ashes and win an academy award…that or die of an overdose alone in her hotel room…either way…I mourn her or at least what she was…..

This is just a cry for media attention…and I’m buying into it – cuz I have a crush on her.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan