Tis the fucking season for fat chicks singing with their tits hanging out for the birth of our lord and savior Jesus Christ…where we are encouraged to spend our money and get in debt and do all things totally unchristian for Christmas….like masturbate to this harlot as people make amazing commentary to her performance……

I love the Holidays….Seriously….

Posted in:Mariah Carey

Mariah Carey is the new America Idol judge and this is the photoshopped masterpiece that reminds me a bit of Toddlers in Tiaras and a bit of a drag show and a bit of a wax museum exhibit because let’s face it…this is up on some serious clown shit….and I love it….

The real question is how American Idol is still on TV after all these years of failure…but I am hoping Mariah Carey is the final nail in the coffin….sometimes sinking ships are fun to watch….

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When I think of childbirth…and the affects of childbirth….you know something I sum up as “mom pussy”…..this is kinda what it looks like in my mind…and thanks to Mariah Carey, I can really get a visual of all I knew existed but pretended didn’t exist cuz the moms I know in tight pants are the fit ones smart enough to not jack their shit up this hard showing the world a long, drawn out, meaty and obscure entity that is better left in loose fitting pants…..I don’t know if this is gross enough to make me sick or if I should try to jerk off to it as challenge to my desensitized self…but I do know it’s representative of all things wrong with the marriage between birthing and spandex……enjoy..

Posted in:Mariah Carey

I think the public service in all this is that bitch was trying to prevent an upskirt…because as much as I love upskirt on even the most battered pussy…I don’t think the general public can handle the kind of crazy going on in this fat baby making older box….but as someone with heart disease and who is going to die from heart disease…I should be more positive about her chairty and focused less on her awkward pussy cover up…

Posted in:Mariah Carey

The above picture is a lie that people are trying to preted is Mariah Carey post baby weight…..70 pounds lighter….a year after she gave birth that resulted in some Jenny Craig spokesperson gig, that probably makes her a lot of money….but is obviously doctored…because you can’t have a spokesperson spilling out of her motherfucking dress….

The reality, see the pictures below, the bitch is still fat…so fat I was going to do a post on how she was inspired by Precious and working on Precious that she’s decided to be like those fat chicks on YOUTUBE Who track their weight gain and eating habits…emotionally eating their way into a fanbase of weirdos….hoping it will land her an oscar….

Don’t believe the Jenny Craig corporate lies….the proof is in the tight dress below…

Posted in:Mariah Carey

There’s something hilarious about Mariah Carey posting pictures of her “Ocean Workout” on twitter, you know because she’s fucking fat as fuck and the only thing I can assume she’s doing in the Ocean is taking a fucking shit, cuz it was closer than walking back to the hotel, and because she considers taking a shit the closest thing to working out, cuz it is the only time she really feels her lightest after dropping last night’s excessive fat chick meal out of her…

The good news is that with all fat chicks comes fat tits…and here are Mariah’s from a distance so that you don’t have to deal with everything else that is unattractive about her….like her face and body….and that works for me…

Posted in:Mariah Carey

People have been bugging me about posting naked or half naked pregnant chicks the last couple of days…

I want to say it was in anticipation for these Mariah Carey naked and pregnant pictures on the cover of Life & Style or whatever this magazine is, but that would be a lie since I didn’t know this was coming…in reality I forgot Mariah Carey was even pregnant…and when I first saw this shit…and I mean shit…I thought she was just getting bold and finally was accepting of her really disgusting and fat body…you know strip it down to prevent another nervous breakdown…..but instead she’s just trying to celebrate her womb and share it with all her fans…cuz she’s a cunt like that…a knocked up cunt…that reminds us that only liars think pregnancy is a beautiful thing….

Posted in:Mariah Carey

Based on her thickness, she should be happy the stage didn’t fall from her weight, but instead she just had a sloppy medicated tumble, with titty everywhere, and handlers there to pick her up and annother one to fix her shoes as she sings and the whole thing was lovely but would have been better if there was a little more vagina, a little less of a team of experts to guide her through the incident, and maybe ever a little kick her while she’s down dick in her mouth, cuz you know the best time to cock slap a bitch is when she’s struggling to get up cuz of her stupid high heels she wears to lean up…

Either way, good times.

Posted in:Mariah Carey