The best thing about alcoholism is that when you wake up at 1:30 in the afternoon you just don’t fucking care…because you’re unemployed broke and even that doesn’t bother you….and the only thing you have going for you is that you try to update a website no one reads, despite how awesome it is and make no money doing it…so why bother…just keep on drinking!!! Happy new year.

I’m not dead…I just feel like I am….but more importantly…my coffee smells like dirty pussy becuase the disgruntled lesbian employee probably wanted to teach me a lesson for having a cock…without knowing her dirty pussy soaked hands are a total turn on.

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Drinking all night alone is always a winner’s decision….waking up feeling like death is just a product of great successs in personal habits and good living….it’s got nothing to do with medicating a broken, cold, black soul and the disappointments you’ve faced your entire life…no, not at all..

That was uplifting….Here are some links to get the day started better than my day started

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This is an amazing thing to wake up to on FACEBOOK and find my good internet friend from LA posted this screenshot from a sex offender app…..It’s Jeffrey Jones…THe principal in Ferris Bueller’s day off and that makes me laugh cuz registered sex offenders are hilarious.

Here are some morning links…

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Yesterday was the best day of 2012. Let’s see what happens today….New years eve is always a yawn…overhyped and underdelivered so I decided to go to bed before midnight since I drink all day and everyday….I figured it’d be an ideal time to not drink….so in keeping up with my resolution to drink earlier in the day…So far it has been a success….because I chose something that won’t disappoint and that I can’t fail at….

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I spent the night in a bowling alley…drinking cheap beer served by a huge woman I was surprsed was capable of leaving her house….touching dirty balls and fascinated by the 16 year old half black chick who was pregnant and ready to drop, just as hard as she was ready to break faces…she yelled at her friends….hit her stomach so hard I thought she was doing some gutter bowling where she uses her fetus as the bowling ball…only to have in bungee back and climb home into her twat….but instead there was a lot of spitting, yelling, swearing and for some reason erections….in my pants…cuz knowing a kid’s coming into a broken home and has no chance brings me great joy….but not the kind of joy spending my last two dollars on a lottery machine only to lose brings…some of us like winning, I happen to like losing….

Here’s some shit going on around the internet…

FOLLOW THIS LINK

Let’s Start Things Off With a Blazer Jump
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Who Was 2011’s Hottest Athelete Babe?
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Free Cams Make Your Life a Little More Sexy
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The 28 Hottest Girlwatching Stories of 2011
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Jersey Sluts Don’t Pump Gas
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Jennifer Corliss is Squatting and I Like It
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BEST OF 2011: Courtney Stodden Bikini Photos
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Live Web Cam Sluts That Will Serve You the Way You Need to Be Served
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Emo Slut Gets Herself Off – VIDEO
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Gallery: Kim Kardashian Next to Cars
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Karisa Shannon Porn is Some Dirty Shit
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I think I’m officially a diabetic…I’m talking going blind, getting legs amputated, diabetic…cuz I tried drinking last night and a bottle and a half of wine in….around 9 or 10 pm….I crashed the fuck out and woke up 10 minutes ago on the floor covered in dog shit….My life is a winner….but I’m not.

Here’s some links to get shit started…while I get a drink to get my shit started….angry I missed out on a late night of self destruction, but instead forced to deal with a good nights sleep. What the fuck is that.

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I don’t think there’s anything all that inspiring about waking up hungover…early afternoon…with a raped stomach wishing I wasn’t an alcoholic….and running to my computer to post the latest bikini pics every other virgin loser with a website has already posted….but I do it anyway…because my life sucks…

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I am going to start a new site featuring pics of girls I am trying to fuck but who won’t fuck me….only because there will be endless content until it gets big….because once it is big….the fact that girls are all whores will make them all fuck me just to get on the site…it’s reverse psychology the internet way….amazing…I’m so smart.

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I hate Christmas until it is over…then I cry on the inside, knowing I have to wait another year for awkward family events, bad liquor and lonely woman willing to let me inside them cuz no one likes being alone this time of year…

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If this is the most wonderful time of year….why do I want to dress myself in a Santa suit and shoot myself in the dick to see if I still feel….ideally on my ex girlfriend’s doorstep on Christmas dinner, hoping it ends in my bleeding to death brining here Christmas memories she’ll have to remember the rest of her life and even go to therapy to try to forget..you know hypothetically….maybe it’s the eggnog talking….or maybe I’m just being dramatic….

Is it possible that Christmas music lies to me?

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