I spent the morning walking my dog in the rain, found myself checking out old ladies in yoga pants, enjoying it despite not being happy about it, only to end up in line at a coffee shop, where the woman asked who was there first between me and a hot girl, I said that I was, because I figure why let her go first, when I know she’d never even entertain the idea of letting me fuck her, and I’ll reserve the gentleman behavior to bitches who do, unless I am paying for them, in which case I’ll treat them like the dirt they clearly are…

Here are some Morning links to start my day at 1 pm.

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I’ve decided that staying up until 5 or 6 am drunk watching internet porn is not a productive thing to do. If anything it is a waste of fucking time and it makes me tired, and the funniest thing in all of it is that I fucking hate porn and I hate porn chicks, it does nothing for me, but help the boredom with other boredom…and that sounds way more depressing that it actually is….here my morning hangover dump….

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I don’t get hungover, I always feel like shit…Here are some links to start your useless day that you pretend is important cuz the truth is too depressing to handle. LOL.

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I am not just waking up because I was up all night celebrating the death of some useless figurehead of terrorism. I was not changting USA USA USA like some ignorant fuck who actually believes terrorism is over cuz the dying face of terrorism was killed. I am just waking up because my masturbation to Ivanka Trump was interrupted by the news that came 10 years too late for people to actually care….news not worth waiting around at my creepy neighbor’s house to see Obama dressed like the US Flag, saying Be all you can be, or some other patriotic bullshit that is just bullshit, but that you all believe in cuz it is the American way…maybe I’m just a hater…maybe it’s racism…all I know is I don’t really give a fuck…but here are my Morning Links at noon anyway…

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I don’t have a hangover. Sure I got drunk. But I am not hungover cuz the Royal Wedding was so fucking boring, I passed out and had one of the best sleeps of my fucking life, I knew the Royals had a fucking purpose, and I found it…I should be celebrated….Long live the DrunkenStepfather….

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Here’s a nice hairy back to start the day….

I don’t know why I find it so funny that I only start work at 1 pm. But I do. Maybe it’s cuz it makes me feel like you’re all suckers, but then I look around and realize that if I had a real job, maybe I wouldn’t have to steal 20 dollars out of my wife’s stash that she never notices I take from, and maybe I wouldn’t live in a one room basement apartment that is very third world, but maybe that’s not incentive enough to get off my lazy ass….You get what I’m saying, you’re a bigger loser than me, only you wake up early…

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Here’s the laziest facebook sex scam I’ve come across…

I don’t know about you, but when nasty looking bitches from third world countries, surrounded by third world tech equipment, hit me up with their phone number on Facebook Chat at least once every three days, I get in the mood to fuck…

This is her bio:

IM 37 FNE GUY WHO REALLY LOVE ME

I don’t know how many guys fall for this, I’m thinking none, I mean maybe it’s their marketing of this scam, all they really need is pictures of pussy I want to fuck and I’d be tempted to delve into the shit, rather than pictures of a bitch I can pay 20 dollars to at the local massage parlor….

Here are the morning links….cuz I was up all night falling in love with this retard looking shit….

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It’s the morning somewhere…that’s what I always tell myself when I wake up a 2 pm and feel guilty about not being a productive member of society, something that usually never happens, but I pretend it does for the sake of the post, I sacrifice myself for content daily.

Here’s some morning action, I’m may not be done fucking the chocoloate out of the Easter Bunny, but apparently the rest of the world is, so that means we’re back. Not that we went anywhere…

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As far as I’m concerned it is still easter and I am still trying to find the right girl to let me have an easter egg hunt in her cunt…or ass…or pretty much anywhere she lets me….

Here are the morning links….but I shouldn’t be working….even if this isn’t work….but you get what I’m saying….

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I need a street team. I looked at my stats. We need to get the word out there. Stickers. Publicity Stunts. Flash Floods of Women Flashing. I don’t give a fuck as long as it says DrunkenStepfather.com on it so we live another day, unlike the real Jesus who you are all sucking up to today cuz he gave you a day off, that’s how religion does it, how can we hate the shit if we get a day off work after 364 days a year of feeling guilty for jerking off to teen girls playing badminton in the park while high on cough medicine and the mystery powder you found on the sidewalk outside the gay club….Dried AIDS cum? Shit…wish I knew that before trying to get high on it…ya know?

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