It’s the fucking morning version of the stepLINKS….what more could a motherfucker want….

I spent my night eating ribs with some ghetto bitch who I just liked watching suck the meat off the bones…while flirting with some fat elderly server with thick thighs….only to come home drunk, with nothing but a bottle of gin and Facebook to entertain me…

I ended up retracing the steps of Lana Del Rey, also know as Lizzy Grant, also knows as Lana Del Lip, bitch who has a rich dad who hired great producers to make her a marketable bunch of songs. Who hired a bargain basement plastic surgeon to get her some numb lip in efforts to market her as a Bridget Bardot hollywood glam…they bought PR people and now you have a spoiled brat who can’t sing with 25,000,000 views on both her fucking videos….It is insane….especially when this is what she used to look like:

This is what she used to sound like….

So she’s a full of shit rich kid lie who “re-invented herself” into something marketable….I know no one cares about this….and I know I still want to fuck her…but in my defense I want to bang everyone…and I was drunk in the making of this fantastic research….

Here are some morning links…

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Fucking and drinking makes working on a blog hard…but not having internet for 3 days makes it way fucking harder….

Here’s some links while I try to hack my asshole neighbor’s modem he decided to put on lock cuz I guess I went over his download limit….typical asshole behavior….he must be….a….cheap piece of shit who doesn’t believe in charity.

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My newest high of choice is dehydration.

Here’s some links…

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I drank all day yesterday…and it turns out if you spend 8 hours in he same restaurant getting ripped…the wait staff doesn’t warm up to you…but instead think you’re a weird alcoholic for not leaving their fucking restaurant like a normal person who is done eating…needless to say….none of us got laid or blowjobs in the restaurant bathroom, however we were asked to leave….which is almost the same thing…since that’s how sex with me always ends.

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I went drinking at a strip club where all the barmaids used to be hot a few years ago..but now they are all fat…because that’s what working a bar for half a decade…drinking beer and potato chips….going from 25-30….does to a bitch….It’s one of those I know it happens situations…but I don’t want to actually see it and accept it…which leads to me drinking more…and I guess that’s the whole bar’s strategy to sell booze…genius….”the more they drink the more they’ll realize how fat and shitty our staff has got”….but I still prefer hot pussy.

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It’s the morning…here’s my dump…far less painful that previous dumps…all jet lagged…dehydrated…detoxing….because I passed out last night in a post vegas pile of shit….instead of drinking my face off until sunrise as I normally do to deal with my shit life….on that high not of positivity….here’s some links….

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I just flew home on a shitty fucking red-eye flight…I prefer when my red eyes are girls with their ass cheeks spread….winking at me with their anuses…

Here’s some links while I die.

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I was up all night drinking at some fucking depressing bar in some depressing…yet affordable…even for me…Casino last night with an ex show girl…turned call girl…bitter as fuck about what Vegas has become…but I think it had more to do with what her life became as I ejaculated on her old, weathered face….filling her wrinkles better than BOTOX…

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I am the worst at Vegas….I don’t sleep and I drink like a pig back home, but the second I get a free hotel room, without my wife, I lock my hermit ass in and sleep for 72 hours straight…sure I went to some of the events…but the bed kept winning the war on the terrorism I intended for my Vegas trip on porn bitches…I’m still here…I may never leave…it’ not that vegas is great…but the weirdos who are here are….

Here’s some links to entertain you….while I sober up, pack my back, board a plane and fly back to Canada….

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I am surprised I am not dead….Hard drinking with alcoholics who are so fucking weathered and soaked through they are human vibrators….shaking all over the place in their Vegas ’93 shirt….they got when they decided to move here….while having midgets or dwarves with no hands do hand stands….as hookers who are likely men giggle…and DC cops tell me how to kill black dudes and a Christian on his first trip from home lectures me about sex before marriage and other sinning without embracing his logic that GOD always forgives, so he should be fucking bitches and getting high right now….only to deal with it later..

It is just so fucking trippy to me that I drank more and more… only to wake up now…half alive wondering what the fuck happened to me…..Welcome to fucking Vegas and I haven’t even bothered with the porn stars yet…..

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