We all know that you’re pretty much delusional and telling yourself that tomorrow, 2016, all will change…so I decided to google the top new years resolutions that people make, and obviously that they break 15 days, if they last that long….
With the help of our friend The Porn Dude , I was able to find tumblr pics to support this life changing post.
1- Get Fit – because you are fat…all the gyms are ready for your membership application tomorrow, all the regulars are mad you exist you fair weather fitness enthusiast…you’re better off Watching More Porn ,
2- Get a Girlfriend – tired of being alone….2016 is the year for you to settle down and find a girlfriend you can build a life with, unfortunately for you no girl will want you so you’ll have to take matters in your own hands….you’re better off Watching More Porn ,
3- Quit Smoking – This one always makes me laugh…people are weak, the first 48 hours of a smoker’s quitting smoking is the best and usually when they start smoking again…you’re better off Watching More Porn ,
4- Eat Less – This comes in the form of “no carbs”, or “no sugar” and is one of those annoying things so many people say and stick to, because if they did, the world would be a far better looking place, but instead, everyone is obsese…disgusting…and full of processed food…you’re better off Watching More Porn ,
5- Go Vegan – Eating Animals is bad, at least that’s what people are saying, and anyone with a pet has thought of their pet at least once while eating a burger, thinking, “this is like eating my dog, that’s sad”…only the burger usually wins because it tastes good and we don’t really care that much to stop our habbits…plus vegans are fucking annoying….you’re better off Watching More Porn ,
6- Make More Money / Change Your Career – if you’re destined to be a loser, you’ll remain a loser, but the good news is, there are countless losers who make a lot of money, so just be like them and become a vine star or something equally lame because girls love money…and buying people is a nice feeling…so figure it out, but you won’t as you work you way through your shift work at the fast food joint…you’re better off Watching More Porn
7- Drink Less – Never Drink Less…
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8 – Do Something New and Watch More Porn ,
Posted in:Features|Originals|SFW|stepLIST
