I am going to take a wild guess here and assume that the Paparazzi didn’t graduate Journalism with Honors back in College. Maybe it’s because they are immigrants who get paid a dollar a day to throw out their broken english while stalking celebrities, maybe it’s gotta do with them being the scum of the fucking earth most likely petty ex drug dealers trying to get legit and jumping on a make money fuckin’ quick scheme, but asking Samantha Ronson if she still loves Lohan is really just a useless fucking question. Firstly, she’s going to obviously say yes, secondly, who gives a fuck, I mean I want to hear about the reason for the fight, I have a feeling it was over what all couples fight about….deciding on matching tattoos, or maybe it was about who paid the last cable bill, or even about something a little deeper than that like over what movie their going to watch when they get back to the hotel room, but more importantly, I want to hear about the make-up sex, in detail, possibly in video.
Either way, it’s nice to see Ronson tell them paparazzi off, because she’s usually pretty calm/quiet and nice about things, so telling them that their question was stupid is a big step. I expected more out of her, she’s supposed to be a lesbian and lesbian are usually a lot angrier than this, at least when directed at me for asking them for a blowjob because I do not believe they are actually lesbians because everyone knows lesbians don’t exist, they are just rape victims and girls with daddy issues or seeking attention in clubs, and are scared of the cock and forced to an alternative lifestyle until they get over that shit….
A site called Friendster is really where this site started. Sure, I had been fucking around on the internet for years before that, you know in chat rooms pretending I was a chick and then calling dudes gay after having some of the most obscure cybersex ever and there was the time that I spent a good month trying to get some girl to send me nudes over ICQ and immediately submitted them to an amateur porn site only to send the link back to the girl telling her she should be more careful who she sends nudes to, she was pretty devastated, and there were a whole lot of message boards and people on them who I raped and would try to get banned off of sometimes taking a month, other times a couple of hours or even minutes, and there were probably a whole lot of other drunken shit because the internet was always just a game to me, I never took it seriously, and I never got offended when people would try to flame me, because I knew it was just words on a screen and not real life. The whole Internet thing was introduced to me by some geeky tech savvy roommate I had in 1996. I almost feel bad for the amount of times I jerked off to slow loading porn pics on his computer….
Anyway, Friendster came along about 5 or 6 years ago, in a time when I was forced to work in a warehouse that had an empty desk with an active computer. I have no idea how I found the site, but I do know that I used it to find every random person I came across in my life. I’d find local sluts, new local pussy, random names from IMDB, I’m talking make-up artists and producers and shit like that. The only thing that really came from it was that I’d try to find local girls and I’d send them typical messages that I don’t have examples of, but they were perverted and twisted and creepy and I figured if they got the joke, they were good to keep, if they didn’t, fuck em. In doing this, I met a webcam model who used to send me masturbating videos and videos of her cleaning her house naked, it was before amateurs had places to submit videos and since she was local, I got my friend to fuck her, there were other adventures thanks to Friendster and one of them was starting this site.
Either way, I added this Zelda Williams bitch randomly back then because I read an article on her father and his fat wife and I had always thought he was a fag, so I hit the internet and figured out his daughter’s name. It was really her, she was one probably 17 or 18 at the time and looked like of those girls who takes herself too fucking seriously, the kind of girls who likes David Lynch movies, lesbian singer songwriter music and who has a journal and talks about how much she hates herself like she was in that movie Ghost World. Bitch was a private school girl from San Francisco, and I sent her random messages, trying to get her attention, trying to get a response, ideally to get her teenage pregnant to live off her trust fund and she ignored me and I will never forgive her for that.
A few months later, Friendster deleted my profile, because like Myspace and Facebook, I broke the rules by threatening or sexually harassing some uptight bitch who reported me and that was the end of Friendster for me. A few years later, no one even gives a fuck about Friendster except for people in Singapore and I like to think the beginning of the end for them was banning me.
I am posting this video of Zelda, because I saw it and was reminded of this story, she seems like a nice enough girl when trying to ride her father’s fame into relevancy like she was Rumer Willis, but not when dealing with strange, drunk, old Mexican men on shitty social networking sites. Opportunist Cunt.
Let’s hope next time around they cut the brake line…..but only if that works in causing serious enough car accidents that bitch disappears. I like when the guy I assume is Cash “Vagina Destroyer” Warren tries to muscle the paparazzi and gets shoved when he grabs at a camer and runs away with his tail between his legs like a little girl. I mean they break your car and when you try to tough guy them because you’re so fucking angry and can’t stomach the idea of sending your assistant to use 200 dollars of your millions of dollars to fix the shit, they shove you and make you run to your car and back to you cushy fuckin’ life, kinda like pouring salt on a wound and by pouring salt on a wound I mean prove you have a vagina. Good times.
The paparazzi are such little bitches. You think a guy who crawls into people’s sewers and hides in closets, hedges, or watches people from a van outside, after spending a week following them, in a borderline criminal way, would be a little more gangster. But I guess they know the second they “harass” or provoke the celeb, they lose their job, the celebs have grounds to sue and all the fun is over for everyone….
So Brad Garrett the big guy from Everybody Loves Raymond, a show that makes me want to kill myself and that you hopefully have never watched, tried to fight the paparazzi, because they are annoying and broke some asshole’s camera.
Now I am not a famous person, but if I was recognized at my coffee shop by the girl who works there this morning, probably because I go there often, but it was good enough for me, because her ass is amazing even if her face isn’t, but I would do everything I could to fuck with these pricks without breaking the law. I’d accidentally throw paint at them, or hire a guard dog to follow me around everywhere I go that “accidentally” gets loose and takes one of them out, sure it would get put to sleep. but it’s a small price to pay for my entertainment, and I’d be rich and could afford a new one. Fighting these bitches is just stupid, punching these bitches, leads to pure headaches, it’s worse than punching your wife or girlfriend, because they are all opportunists who press charges because it makes them money and gives them a bullshit story…
Here’s the weasel who’s camera got broken….he isn’t a violent guy, but he is into harassing people.
And who the fuck cares about what the fuck Brad Garrett is doing, why the fuck are paparazzi on his dick anyway, it makes no fucking sense to me……
So last week, Janice Dickinson was ripping into the paparazzi for being rats and from the sewers, and I was totally down with that, despite knowing that the paparazzi are the only reason she’s ever spoken of, because she may call herself the first supermodel, I never heard of her until she was working on another supermodel’s TV show and by that time, she was already beat up by the plastic surgeon’s knife and collagen injections that the only thing super about her, was the ability to suck dick without knowing she was sucking dick due to having no nerve endings left in her mouth….
Today she’s striking a pose for the motherfuckers and acting like their best fucking friends and this inconsistency is fuckin’ with my head. I guess she’s crazy, which makes sense, I mean she does have a vagina after all.
I admit, I am slow moving today. I was taking a nap, because I am trying to get as much energy as I can to see as many vaginas as I can over the next 4 days. It only comes once a year and I am sure I don’t have all that many more ahead of me, so I might as well milk it for all I can….
Speaking of monsters, here’s a clip of Janice Dickinson, a modern day Frankenstein, calling the paparazzi cockroaches and rats, because I guess she doesn’t like the attention they are giving her when she’s not lookin’ her best or some shit, unless this is her best, in which case, she’s just being a bitch and if I was her, I’d be a bitch too, I mean after spending all that money on surgery then getting this mess of a face that would be worse than that time I bought a stereo system off some crackhead that didn’t work when I got home, or the time a group of us hired a whore to pass around and she fell asleep on us, or died, we weren’t sure, we just know we didn’t ask her pimp for a refund when he came to drag her out of my apartment. True story.
Ok, now I gotta get to my real posts. I hope you’re ready….cuz it’s going to be a life changing day today….or not…I am just trying to hype myself up to get down and do this…when I really just want to go back to bed.
Here are some pictures of Janice Dickinson flashing her underwear and acting like an idiot for the paparazzi a while ago, because she hates them so fucking much, and doesn’t use them to get publicity when it is convenient for her, I guess she’s just a hypocritical cunt.
Kristin Cavallari was out getting stalked by the paparzzi despite not having anything going on in her career. She was the genius who didn’t agree to do The Hills after MTV decided to do a spinoff of the show she starred on called Laguna Beach. I am not sure why she decided against The Hills, maybe she wanted to get her life back, or maybe she thought she had talent that was worthy of getting actual acting roles, instead of playing herself in scripted reality show, but who really cares, especially considering no one really gives a shit about her, we’re too busy hating her “friends” while making them all get richer and richer despite hoping they cancel that smut they are in so Heidi can go back to suckin’ dick in dormrooms where she belongs….
Either way, the paparazzi as her about politics and she gets confused, blows them off and gets into the wrong fucking car, because the paparazzi have the same BMW as she does. Sure, Kristin Cavallari doesn’t fully deserve a BMW of her own, since she’s kinda a joke of a celebrity, but the paparazzi definitely don’t deserve a fucking BMW. That just goes to show you that the prices they try to get me to pay for pictures are way too fuckin’ high, when the immigrant asshole crawling through garbage to get the pics is driving a luxury german automobile.
The whole thing offends me, not because I can’t afford to drive a BMW, but because the paparazzi clearly make enough money as paparazzi to let my site slide for posting their images, because deeper pocket paying the bills for them, while I don’t make money doin’ this shit. It’s like charity work.
The truth is that I am happy not making money and driving my neighbor’s 80’s Hyundai when my wife needs to do errands or go to the doctor, but that’s just because seeing her squeeze into an Asian 4 speed hatchback piece of shit is fucking hysterical and seeing how long it takes her to get out, is one of the great joys in my life.
Charlize Theron gets bambarded by the paparazzi and thinks she looks ridiculous, so she hides behind her mom to protect her and tells us to look at her mom’s legs, well I didn’t really have a chance to do that, because I was too busy lookin’ at her mom’s tits in her cleavage exposing dress, because I figure why go for the unattainable when you can seduce her lonely mother who is secretly jealous of her daughter’s celebrity, because she wishes that when she was in her prime, she had the same kind of attention, and is instead forced to take Charlize’s sloppy seconds, when the real magic that is Charlize came from her vagina, so I am all for going to the source, especially when the source is well past it’s prime, desperate for approval, menopausal and unable to get knocked up, and a minx in bed from all the years of experience, the only challenge is ignoring her grey pubic hair, but that’s always been easy for me, because I am easily distracted by gaping old lady vagina….
The paparazzi is insane. When you see them stalking Conan O’Brien when he’s out reading and having a coffee, you know the internet has made them go too far. Sure, Conan’s got fans, he’s funny, he’s got a following, he’s taking over for Jay Leno and all that shit, so I get why he’s someone in the news or relevant, but he is not the kind of celebrity you need to stalk, go through his garbage, climb his hedges to get bathing suit pictures of, he’s kinda one of those guys who people like to consider on our side, in how he makes fun of the celebrities, interviews them, laughs at them and all that shit, and not actually one of them but instead these creepy dudes, who get excited when they get a shot of his book, which is also fucking crazy because what Conan is reading, wearing, doing is never a huge fucking deal, and they are making it one, because they clearly have nothing else going on in their scummy lives.
Since no one in their right mind would pay for those groundbreaking pictures or Conan Walking, I can only assume this Pap(smear) is new to the job and this is some kind of paparazzi hazing, like one paparazzi makes him think he’s got a huge story, when training him, then when he brings it to the office to get paid, the boss ends up laughing him out of the fuckin’ place, forcing him to eat his cereal with water until the day he finds out that people only care about chick celebrities when they are in bikinis and not dudes who have talk shows walking around in funny jeans.
I hear the paparazzi are staking out the guy who’s in the Sham Wow commercials, they are hoping to get shots of him buying paper towels….oh the scandal that would cause….
Rose McGowan got caught outside someplace waiting for the valet to bring her a car and she was forced to have a conversation with the scum that is the paparazzi. They asked her great questions like how she felt about the election, Palin and OJ getting arrested but the highlight of the clip is the weird little gay guy who tells her how he likes her style, because you know that dude is running after a failed dream and moved to L.A. in hopes of landing a luxurious career as a fashion photographer or something a little more rewarding than sifting through the trash, and that’s his broken down self-esteem tapping into a passion he once had. Sure, he probably goes home at night hoping one of his pictures ends up in a glossy magazine, and when it does he feels a sense of accomplishment, but not the sense of accomplishment he wanted for himself. You know, shooting high profile campaigns and shit like that, but forced to take the bottom feeding route to pay off his student loans for his photography degree. Either way, she was pretty fucking nice to them, if I was in her place I’d be throwing my feces at them, and I guess that’s why I am posting this video, because not everyone in Hollywood is a vapid, materialistic cunt.
Here are some pictures taken while this video was shot and she is wearing fishnets she stole from the Marilyn Manson break-up. True Story.
