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Archive for the Reese Witherspoon Category

2008

21

Aug

Resse Witherspoon is a Fat Jogger of the Day

9 Comments »

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I spend my days watching people jog past me because it makes me feel like I am working out without actually having to get off my ass, it is some kind of projection shit and more often than not, the girls I have seen run by me daily for more than the last 5 years are not slim, fit or someone I’d want to fuck. They are dumpy, big assed, moms types and they just keep on doing it despite it having no effect on their bodies. People tell me to imagine what they would look like if they didn’t work out, even though I don’t want to imagine them when they do work out, but implying that they would otherwise be obese and maybe that’s true, but what’s also true is that if you put energy into something and it doesn’t work out for you, you half to find it in yourself to give the fuck up. It’s a quitter menality, but I just think it’s being realistic.

Here are some pictures of Reese Witherspoon showing off her pudgy little mom body jogging as she always fucking does because she’s trying to fight her Fat Southern Wal Mart clerk gene, so as you look at these you can imagine her if she didn’t work out, or you could do what I do and imagine Ryan Phillippe busting nut in her 3 times to knock her up, because you find him so fucking dreamy…..

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Posted in:Fat|Jogging|Reese Witherspoon

2008

20

May

Reese Witherspoon’s Shitty Bikini Pictures of the Day

8 Comments »

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Reese Witherspoon is boring as fuck and looks like a boring fuck and I have always felt that way about her. Sure she’s had a bunch of kids making you think she’s worth fucking, but she just did that to lock in the teen heartthrob who knocked her up when they did a movie together and the other kids were just used as a distraction to how boring she was and dude figured that at least babies give them some laughs and something to do with their time and something to talk about to divert their attention from each other because she pretty much had nothing to offer.

These bikini pics prove that. She looks like a Southern Fat chick who has been lucky enough to not work in the diner where she was supposed to and moved to Hollywood where she won an Academy Award all while fighting off the demons of her past as they try to make her ass as fat as it was supposed to be if she hadn’t ran away to Hollywood all in hopes that it doesn’t win, but it will. It always does. You can’t beat genetics, trust me, I’ve tried.

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Posted in:Bikini|Reese Witherspoon|Tits

2007

09

Jul

I am – Reese Witherspoon Scratching her Ass of the Day

6 Comments »

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I just spent the last 10 minutes trying to sing a song to my wife about an itchy vagina. I was freestyling, because I am hip hop like that and she wasn’t having it. I came back to my computer and saw these pictures of Reese Witherspoon doing something up her skirt and I may not know exactly what she’s doing but I will post the lyrics to my rap. It’s really good so you may want to sit down for this one…or get up and sing it to yourself while throwin’ your hands up in the air.

my vagina is itchy….
i slept with a guy and now it’s itchy
oh my vagina is itchy
He was probably Bi and rockin H-P-V
I don’t remember cuz I was on GHB
Oh my vagina is itchy…

I don’t know why bitch is itching, maybe it’s because of the two kids that have passed through, maybe it’s bad hygiene, maybe it’s a bug bite or maybe it’s gotta do with the new cock she’s been testing since her divorce. I do know that when a woman is accustomed to having non-condom sex in a monogamous relationship, entering the single scene may lead to HPV because old habits are hard to break…Either way this post is stupid, I’d apologize but I hate you. Cuddles.

Posted in:Reese Witherspoon|Unsorted|Vagina

2007

14

Mar

I am – Reese Witherspoon Working Out of the Day

2 Comments »

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My new fetish is watching girls workout and here is Reese in joggin’ action. These pics look old because she always wears the same fucking outfit everywhere she goes, but at least the pants are tight.

I hate the fact that girls who get dumped hit the gym to get fit, even though I just said it’s my new fetish, I am inconsistent like that. What is consistent in my like is that my wife just keeps getting fatter and fatter the longer we stay together and I resent girls who take pride in themselves.

This bitch has probably cried away 10 lbs and jogged off another 10lbs and quit food for the last bit. She’s back on the market and has to work extra hard because no one wants a fat washed up mother of 2, because that’s some serious fucking baggage. Oscar winner or not, a slut with baggage is still a slut with baggage and brings back memories of when I got into this whole mess.

But I still believe that there’s nothing wrong with being a stepfather, because you can always run away, but there is a problem with post-pregnancy body and lucky for Reese she’s got that one covered, even though we can’t tell how damaged her box is based on these pics. I don’t know what I am talking about but I am thinking about passing the fuck out.

Posted in:Reese Witherspoon|Unsorted