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Archive for the RIP Motherfucker Category

2013

30

Nov

RIP Motherfucker the Paul Walker Edition of the Day

TMZ Servers couldn’t handle the flood of teens who want 40 year old cock…searching for answers when they reported that the people WHO DIED IN THIS CRASH were Paul Walker from Fast and the Furious fame…

Paul Walker’s reps were reported to saying:

On Saturday (November 30) the actor’s reps officially confirmed that Paul Walker is not dead. “He joins the long list of celebrities who have been victimized by this hoax. He’s still alive and well, stop believing what you see on the Internet,” they said.

Some fans have expressed anger at the fake report saying it was reckless, distressing and hurtful to fans of the much loved actor. Others say this shows his extreme popularity across the globe.

Because let’s face it, if it was a Hoax, they staged it to remind people who Paul Walker was and to remind people he existed…

Or maybe it was a publicity stunt from “2 Fast 2 Furious – I’m 40 Why am I Still Doing these Movies oh right cuz they are the only jobs I get” thanks To Vin’ crush on me…

What it comes down to is whether Paul Walker is Dead or Not…He might as well be…Since he barely exists. Seriously, who the fuck is Paul Walker and why does everyone care?

Are we that starved for a celebrity death? Let’s hope for one who matters to actually die.

RIP Motherfucker…

Here’s a pic from the Car Accident he is rumored to have been in. Car’s don’t just blow up, so I am going to assume dude took his Fast and Furious training to the street and thought he was a professional racer, like a Soap Doctor performing surgery….apparently he wasnt’ driving. Oops.

Confirmation….

Her even tweeted his own death notice:

Death is never fun or funny. Drive safe and try to live forever. Hug your loved once…life is 2 fast and 2 Furious…

Remember 2 people died 2 soon. The driver of the car was named Roger Rodas.

Remember the “Walker Walking Dead” jokes are 2 Soon…

Remember, Paul Walker will live on forever in our hearts…and the bargain DVD bin at Walmart….

Here’s a little tribute…

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For live updates…

Posted in:RIP Motherfucker

2013

08

Apr

RIP Motherfucker the Annette Funicello Edition of the Day

Today, we lost a legend, and not I don’t mean Margaret Thatcher, I am talking about Aneette Funicello, the masturbation to a generation of kids who didn’t have access to porn, because porn just didn’t exist, and masturbating was reserved for doing secretly while your dead relatives watched to National Geographic or to babes in their bikinis in 1960s surf movies like Annette Funicello.

She was also Mousketeer, chosen by Walt Disney, which means she probably had sex with him, although at 13, she was probably too old for him…and now at 70..like Roger Ebert, she’s too dead for me.

But that doesn’t take away all the loads she made happen in her prime, and that is something we celebrate.

RIP motherfucker.

Posted in:RIP Motherfucker

2013

15

Mar

RIP Motherfucker – The Lil’ Wayne Edition of the Day

Lil Wayne is either right about to die…or already dead…. TMZ claims he is having his last rites read to him surrounded by family….he’s been having seizures and is in critical condition….

5:16 PM PT — We’re told Wayne is being prepared for his last rites … with his family surrounding him to say their goodbyes.

Wayne’s mother is currently on a plane flying to Los Angeles — and we’re told all major decisions about Wayne’s health (including the decision to discontinue life support) will not be made until she arrives.

You know what…it’s too bad…the dude was talented…I don’t listen to hip hop…but girls I try to have sex with do….and I’ve been to his shows at least once…and he was just a clever motherfucker and far too young to die….

No more – Tit Filled 250k Blowout Parties
No more – Amazing Bikini Clad Groupies on His Dick

That said, when you pollute your body hard with drugs like cough syrup/codeine/any pills and mix it withbooze..you’re playing with fire…..

Either way, RIP Motherfucker…

BTW – I Called it on Twitter the other day but no one listened….they never listen…

UPDATE – Birdman – The Guy Who Made Lil Wayne Tweeted This – Meaning His Death is a Publicity Stunt….

UPDATE – LIL WAYNE DEATH IS PUBLICITY STUNT !!! NOW EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHO HE IS. HIS MANAGEMENT SENT A FAKE STORY TO TMZ. THEY ARE ALL LAUGHING IN AN OFFICE AS PPL GO NUTS. THEY’LL BE RELEASING AN OFFICIAL STATEMENT SAYING -HE HAS A NEW ALBUM.

We are all idiots. We believe and care about this bullshit.

That said, stock up on Cough Syrup before it’s illegal.

Posted in:Lil Wayne|RIP Motherfucker

2012

18

Apr

RIP MOTHERFUCKER the Dick Clark Edition of the Day

Don’t worry people….Dick Clark isn’t dead….They just want you to think he is…..He has just given up this body now that his clone body in the form of Ryan Seacrest can fully accept his soul…..

I get that you’d be nervous cuz if you’re like me….Dick Clark was a leader, perpetually ringing in the New Year like clockwork…because I guess it was clockwork….The guy was an offensive host…. filled with boyish good looks…..even into his 80s….and he did it in a way that didn’t make us wish he was dead…like we do with his new host body….

His last body was 82..luckily he is eternal….unfortunately….Ryan Seacrest was into this idea cuz he loves “Dick”…..

Posted in:RIP Motherfucker

2012

29

Feb

RIP Motherfucker the Davy Jones Edition of the Day

So Davy Jones from The Monkees….a made for TV pop band that made hit songs because TV is so influential on the world….He was 66, they don’t know the cause of death…but the real concern isn’t how or why he died…but whether the public will treat him with the same respect they treated Whitney….you know he’s been in the game since the 60s, he’s got hits, I want a televised funeral, I want people crying about this on FB for weeks, I want flags at half fucking mast…cuz I’m a believer…in fairness….

Here’s his last performance a couple days ago, pre death if you were wondering…

RIP Motherfucker….now back to tits…

Posted in:RIP Motherfucker

2011

29

Nov

RIP Motherfucker – Patrice O’Neal Tribute Post of the Day

I generally don’t laugh at much. I don’t find anything “LOL” funny. I am either a comedy snob or just a bitter motherfucker who resents more successful people than me…If anything I find comedy annoying scripted shit, always the same joke over and over for idiots to laugh at cuz they feel they have to….

But, I have seen Patrice O’Neal live at the Just For Laughs event in Montreal. He is some funny shit, and now he is no more….His fatness that gave him diabetes, gave him a stroke that he didn’t recover from…and now he is dead…and that’s some sad shit….

Like so many comedians before him, living the grind, he chose burger and fries as his drug of choices, and slowly killed himself….I can relate.

He was a talent that I noticed he was a little flimsy at the Sheen Roast…but we’ve got tons of videos to remember him by….RIP Motherfucker. The Patrice O’Neal Edition…

Posted in:Patrice O'Neal|RIP Motherfucker

2011

23

Mar

RIP Motherfucker the Elizabeth Taylor Edition of the Day

What I coincidence. I feel like death and Elizabeth Taylor is death…not that that’s a surprise on any level, you know cuz she looked like she’s been dying hard the last 10 years, and now she can happily bond with all her friends who died before her, from Michael Jackson to Richard Burton and 45 of her other husbands…..I mean provided death wasn’t a permanent thing and landed you in a fancy penthouse apartment party of the stars..which I can assume it isn’t….

I’ll always remember her hot tits in classic movies…The world has lost one of the last of the classics…from when Hollywood was glamorous…and the real tragedy is that she didn’t bring Parish Hilton and the other trash that fills LA with her in some fiery natural disaster…this dying peacefully shit without bringing down people with you is kinda dull considering how eventful her career was. Oh well…. FOLLOW ME

Posted in:Elizabeth Taylor|RIP Motherfucker

2011

24

Jan

RIP Motherfucker the Jack Lalanne Edition of the Day

Jack Lallane is dead, proving that daily exercise, eating well and not drinking alcohol doesn’t make you invincible…and that all his preachy bullshit as he made millions was just propaganda to sell juicers…cuz if shit was legit…he woulda lived to 120…

All this to say RIP Motherfucker, your late night infomercials inspired and gave me hope of a better tomorrow. Your hatred of fat ass rubbed off on me and encouraged me to give girls a complex and eating disorder….

And you didn’t actually inspire cuz I love sitting all day even if it is boring as fuck…and my fat ass works well on halloween when i dress like aunt Jamima…. something I’m not willing to give up….but his one piece leisure suits are genius…

Here’s a throwback clip….

Posted in:Jack Lalanne|RIP Motherfucker

2010

30

Sep

Top 5 Bitches Tony Curtis Banged of the Day

Tony Curtis is dead. RIP Motherfucker. Dude was 85, lived a good life, was married a lot, was a star for a while, had a big family, made a lot of money, lived to 85. I’m not crying over this tragedy, since it’s not a fuckin’ tragedy…

But I did figure I’d post the top 5 bitches he has had sex with…

Number 5 – Jill Vandenberg Curtis

This bitch was some Vegas Showgirl/Stripper looking bitch who you probably would have wanted to bang if she wasn’t too busy looking for men 42 years older than her to settle down and get fat with because a stripping career couldn’t last forever….She had some pretty great tits….and knew her worth in life…and I always respect these bitches I like to call “Retirement Nurses”, because when you’re 70, pussy like this, no matter why it is with you, whether for the fame, money, or ability to never work again, it is pretty alright….cuz you can’t take the money with you….

Number 4 – Christine Kaufman

This bitch was 17 when he started fucking her….before he threw his previous marriage and family away to marry her…because young pussy has always had that effect on dudes…they just don’t walk it out like they are supposed to…but instead follow the fresh scent of a barely touched pussy…even if it’s just gonna end up bad….

Number 3 – Janet Leigh

I am sure there is not one man out there who watched Psycho and thought the peeping on her in the shower scene wasn’t erotic, despite the whole psycho part….I mean until bitch got slaughtered. It was a genius level of creepy man lusting over a girl who showed up at his door step in need of a place to stay, and mommy issues that made him angry and abusive, that I am sure most of you can relate to, only instead of killing bitches, you just hide in the corner and cry, before running to your mom to brush her hair as you watch Desperate Housewives. You sick fuck…

Number 2 – Marilyn Monroe

This one’s obvious…She’s like the Lohan of her generation, only she had the sense to kill herself off so that she stayed famous and so everyone lusted her, before she became a total trainwreck, too fat to get out of bed, forgotten and ignored…Presidents fucked her, stars fucked her, and she managed to get some legitmate work, despite all the time spent being a total whore…Guys still jerk off to the bitch, and Tony Curtis got to jerk off on the bitch….Pretty solid.

Number 1 – Jamie Lee Curtis:

This one’s a bit of a wildcard, but since none of us were in their household while Jamie Lee Curtis was a little girl, we have no idea whether daddy played horsey on his lap nude . We also have no idea whether she was born a hermaphrodite or not, but that’s not the point of this post, the point is that I’m throwing her into the Top 5 Bitches Tony Curtis banged mix, cuz these actors are wild, and banging their daughters is not as out there of a concept as it may sound…repressed memories and hypnotherapy may one day reveal this as truth, so she’s on the list in the event they do….

Tony Curtis, RIP Motherfucker. You had a good run…

Posted in:RIP Motherfucker|Tony Curtis

2010

10

Mar

RIP Motherfucker the Corey Haim Edition of the Day

Corey Haim’s dead. He’s had a lot of issues over the last 20 years and I’m actually surprised he’s lived this long, but that doesn’t make it not a sad situation, if anything it makes his entire life a sad situation and this was unfortunately expected…..He had an overdose and that’s just what happens when a motherfucker does drugs for so fucking long. It’s really just a fucking waste.

The only Corey Haim story I have was from 10 years ago, when he was really rock bottom, and living back in Montreal in a one room apartment that his mom paid for. It was before the whole “Two Coreys” show tried to revive his career / give him enough money to do all the drugs he wanted….My friend happened to live across the hall from him, and he’d come over at all hours of the night knocking, looking for cigarettes, he’d even go so far as to fish through my friend’s ashtray and role a cigarette from a bunch of half smoked cigarette…and my friend would get a kick out of the fact a teen actor from Lost Boys was cracked out on his couch rolling homeless man cigarettes until the novelty wore off and he had to stop answering Haim’s requests….

Crack takes over your fucking life forever and an addiction this deep and sick, selfish and like diamond is forever…a serious horrible thing that ruins lives and I guess so is Hollywood….

My thoughts seriously go out to his family who I am sure have aged and been struggling with this for so many years…watching someone slowly kill themselves is sad, and so is death whether it put a sick person out of his misery, or whether it is expected or not.

RIP Motherfucker.

Posted in:Corey Haim|RIP Motherfucker