Don’t worry people….Dick Clark isn’t dead….They just want you to think he is…..He has just given up this body now that his clone body in the form of Ryan Seacrest can fully accept his soul…..
I get that you’d be nervous cuz if you’re like me….Dick Clark was a leader, perpetually ringing in the New Year like clockwork…because I guess it was clockwork….The guy was an offensive host…. filled with boyish good looks…..even into his 80s….and he did it in a way that didn’t make us wish he was dead…like we do with his new host body….
His last body was 82..luckily he is eternal….unfortunately….Ryan Seacrest was into this idea cuz he loves “Dick”…..
So Davy Jones from The Monkees….a made for TV pop band that made hit songs because TV is so influential on the world….He was 66, they don’t know the cause of death…but the real concern isn’t how or why he died…but whether the public will treat him with the same respect they treated Whitney….you know he’s been in the game since the 60s, he’s got hits, I want a televised funeral, I want people crying about this on FB for weeks, I want flags at half fucking mast…cuz I’m a believer…in fairness….
Here’s his last performance a couple days ago, pre death if you were wondering…
I generally don’t laugh at much. I don’t find anything “LOL” funny. I am either a comedy snob or just a bitter motherfucker who resents more successful people than me…If anything I find comedy annoying scripted shit, always the same joke over and over for idiots to laugh at cuz they feel they have to….
But, I have seen Patrice O’Neal live at the Just For Laughs event in Montreal. He is some funny shit, and now he is no more….His fatness that gave him diabetes, gave him a stroke that he didn’t recover from…and now he is dead…and that’s some sad shit….
Like so many comedians before him, living the grind, he chose burger and fries as his drug of choices, and slowly killed himself….I can relate.
He was a talent that I noticed he was a little flimsy at the Sheen Roast…but we’ve got tons of videos to remember him by….RIP Motherfucker. The Patrice O’Neal Edition…
What I coincidence. I feel like death and Elizabeth Taylor is death…not that that’s a surprise on any level, you know cuz she looked like she’s been dying hard the last 10 years, and now she can happily bond with all her friends who died before her, from Michael Jackson to Richard Burton and 45 of her other husbands…..I mean provided death wasn’t a permanent thing and landed you in a fancy penthouse apartment party of the stars..which I can assume it isn’t….
I’ll always remember her hot tits in classic movies…The world has lost one of the last of the classics…from when Hollywood was glamorous…and the real tragedy is that she didn’t bring Parish Hilton and the other trash that fills LA with her in some fiery natural disaster…this dying peacefully shit without bringing down people with you is kinda dull considering how eventful her career was. Oh well…. FOLLOW ME
Jack Lallane is dead, proving that daily exercise, eating well and not drinking alcohol doesn’t make you invincible…and that all his preachy bullshit as he made millions was just propaganda to sell juicers…cuz if shit was legit…he woulda lived to 120…
All this to say RIP Motherfucker, your late night infomercials inspired and gave me hope of a better tomorrow. Your hatred of fat ass rubbed off on me and encouraged me to give girls a complex and eating disorder….
And you didn’t actually inspire cuz I love sitting all day even if it is boring as fuck…and my fat ass works well on halloween when i dress like aunt Jamima…. something I’m not willing to give up….but his one piece leisure suits are genius…
Tony Curtis is dead. RIP Motherfucker. Dude was 85, lived a good life, was married a lot, was a star for a while, had a big family, made a lot of money, lived to 85. I’m not crying over this tragedy, since it’s not a fuckin’ tragedy…
But I did figure I’d post the top 5 bitches he has had sex with…
Number 5 – Jill Vandenberg Curtis
This bitch was some Vegas Showgirl/Stripper looking bitch who you probably would have wanted to bang if she wasn’t too busy looking for men 42 years older than her to settle down and get fat with because a stripping career couldn’t last forever….She had some pretty great tits….and knew her worth in life…and I always respect these bitches I like to call “Retirement Nurses”, because when you’re 70, pussy like this, no matter why it is with you, whether for the fame, money, or ability to never work again, it is pretty alright….cuz you can’t take the money with you….
Number 4 – Christine Kaufman
This bitch was 17 when he started fucking her….before he threw his previous marriage and family away to marry her…because young pussy has always had that effect on dudes…they just don’t walk it out like they are supposed to…but instead follow the fresh scent of a barely touched pussy…even if it’s just gonna end up bad….
Number 3 – Janet Leigh
I am sure there is not one man out there who watched Psycho and thought the peeping on her in the shower scene wasn’t erotic, despite the whole psycho part….I mean until bitch got slaughtered. It was a genius level of creepy man lusting over a girl who showed up at his door step in need of a place to stay, and mommy issues that made him angry and abusive, that I am sure most of you can relate to, only instead of killing bitches, you just hide in the corner and cry, before running to your mom to brush her hair as you watch Desperate Housewives. You sick fuck…
Number 2 – Marilyn Monroe
This one’s obvious…She’s like the Lohan of her generation, only she had the sense to kill herself off so that she stayed famous and so everyone lusted her, before she became a total trainwreck, too fat to get out of bed, forgotten and ignored…Presidents fucked her, stars fucked her, and she managed to get some legitmate work, despite all the time spent being a total whore…Guys still jerk off to the bitch, and Tony Curtis got to jerk off on the bitch….Pretty solid.
Number 1 – Jamie Lee Curtis:
This one’s a bit of a wildcard, but since none of us were in their household while Jamie Lee Curtis was a little girl, we have no idea whether daddy played horsey on his lap nude . We also have no idea whether she was born a hermaphrodite or not, but that’s not the point of this post, the point is that I’m throwing her into the Top 5 Bitches Tony Curtis banged mix, cuz these actors are wild, and banging their daughters is not as out there of a concept as it may sound…repressed memories and hypnotherapy may one day reveal this as truth, so she’s on the list in the event they do….
Tony Curtis, RIP Motherfucker. You had a good run…
Corey Haim’s dead. He’s had a lot of issues over the last 20 years and I’m actually surprised he’s lived this long, but that doesn’t make it not a sad situation, if anything it makes his entire life a sad situation and this was unfortunately expected…..He had an overdose and that’s just what happens when a motherfucker does drugs for so fucking long. It’s really just a fucking waste.
The only Corey Haim story I have was from 10 years ago, when he was really rock bottom, and living back in Montreal in a one room apartment that his mom paid for. It was before the whole “Two Coreys” show tried to revive his career / give him enough money to do all the drugs he wanted….My friend happened to live across the hall from him, and he’d come over at all hours of the night knocking, looking for cigarettes, he’d even go so far as to fish through my friend’s ashtray and role a cigarette from a bunch of half smoked cigarette…and my friend would get a kick out of the fact a teen actor from Lost Boys was cracked out on his couch rolling homeless man cigarettes until the novelty wore off and he had to stop answering Haim’s requests….
Crack takes over your fucking life forever and an addiction this deep and sick, selfish and like diamond is forever…a serious horrible thing that ruins lives and I guess so is Hollywood….
My thoughts seriously go out to his family who I am sure have aged and been struggling with this for so many years…watching someone slowly kill themselves is sad, and so is death whether it put a sick person out of his misery, or whether it is expected or not.
Some Model who is actually a stripper who wanted to be a model named Paula Sladewski who was 26 years old and in a Playboy video called the Ultimate Playmate Search back in 2003 was found burnt in a trash can , RIP Motherfucker, I guess she was hangin with the wrong crowd, as strippers tend to do or maybe just in the wrong place at the wrong time, like at a ghetto stripclub when a psychopath was there, but it confirms that the world is a sick fucking place.
I figured I’d post some pictures of her before she was burned beyond recognition….I hope they catch the killer who is probably her boyfriend and while they are lookin’ let’s celebrate her life….but I couldn’t find the video she was in..
It seems like just yesterday that Tila Tequila was pissing me off on Twitter. Where she turned her “Tila Army” on me and for 15 minutes trash flooded my inbox and then they moved onto their next Tila war. Tila is crazy. Seriously crazy. She’s lost her fucking mind and that’s why she’s on Twitter going off all the fucking time and wasting her abundance of free time now that people realize Myspace celebrity is not as marketable as they thought it was calling me names, I told her she should kill herself to stay relevant cuz her undeserved star was fading fast….I think only a handful of people even bothered watching her naked webcam show, which is when you know it is done, but instead she got engaged to an heir to Johnson & Johnson named Casey Johnson, who was found dead tonight, giving Tila another go at getting attention she doesn’t deserve, until people stop caring about Casey Johnson, because they never did, when she shoulda just taken my advice and killed herself instead of driving her “Fiance” to it. Rodents on society like Tila Tequila deserve to be exterminated….
And Now Some Tila Tequila Inconsitant Tweets Asking For Privacy Yet Writing Bullshit like “We Will Marry In Heaven”…Crazy fucking cunt…She also says she got word Casey Johnson was in a Coma, pretty accurate considering she’s been dead since Dec 29 and Tila had no idea, they were not engaged there is no way. It was a joke, a joke we hope puts TILA over the edge..
Everyone please pray 4 my Wifey Casey Johnson. She has passed away. Thank u for all ur love and support but I will be offline to be w family
This is a very heartbreaking time for me. I just want some pricacy as I deal with the loss of my Fiance Casey Johnson. I’m heart is shredded
I know u can feel me Casey! Dot let go! I’m almost home baby please hang on! We have a beautiful life planned out for us! I LOVE u! Hang on!
I’m still in shock! Once again thank U for the outpour of love and support. I just wish to have some privacy at this heartbreaking tim
R.I.P my Angel. @caseyjonsonJnJ u will forever be in my heart! I love u so so much and we will Marry when I see U in Heaven my Wifey
I know u can feel me Casey! Dot let go! I’m almost home baby please hang on! We have a beautiful life planned out for us! I LOVE u! Hang on!
about 5 hours ago from UberTwitter
I just got news that my fiance is not dead but currently in a coma!!! Omg please pray that she will make it! Hang in there my love please!!!
RIP Motherfucker – Casey Johnson – I would have killed myself if I was stuck with Tila Tequila too…. I made you a tribute video….you were too young to go and now you are in heaven where Tila can’t come and ruin you anymore….crazy rich kids and their crazy lives…what a waste…. and here are the stepLINKS….also a waste…
So DJ AM is dead. For those of you who read the site, he’s been someone I constantly rag on. I’ve met the dude a handful of times and he was always surprisingly cool with me, except for maybe twice where he pretty much told me to fuck myself and told people I know he hated me, but overall, it’s understandable. I always pulled stupid stunts on him over the internet.
Just last week I was ripping into his ugly girlfriend on Facebook who he reportedly broke up with and spiraled into a depression over and now he’s gone and killed himself or at least allegedly killed himself, even after survivng a plane crash, a drug adiction, obesity and an attempted suicide, making millions along the way.
On a sidenote, DJ AM was filming his own intervention type show, so the fact that this is drug related is so fucked up…..
My DJ AM relationship started back in 2004 when I first started the site and he did this interview with me:
Stepfather: So what’s the deal with DJs, why does every girl want a piece of the DJ?
DJ AM: DJs rule… Every girl wants to bone us cause we are the center of attention… And that’s what every girl wants to be.
Stepfather: You used to be fat, I am fat, is life really that much better being thin? Do girls appreciate a fat man, or is your life that much better now that you aren’t fat?
DJ AM: I hated being fat. I miss knocking back a rack of ribs and bakers dozen of Krispie Kremes for a snack but I like being thin for once…
Stepfather: Rumor is that when you lose a lot of weight, your penis gets bigger, is that true?
DJ AM: Yes, my penis has gotten bigger.
Stepfather: I am a fat man and I am scared to sleep with fat women for 2 main reasons, first because fat is disgusting and second because fat gets in the way of sex and I am scared I won’t be able to penetrate fully, how do you feel about sex with fat chicks?
DJ AM: I have a friend who is skinny and he only fucks fat girls. I think he likes the padding and feeling like hes doing some kinky shit. Thing is, your right. If the chick is THAT fat you can’t dig it all the way in cause there are rolls blocking you.
Stepfather: When it comes to sex, what’s the craziest thing you have done, what do you brad to your boys about?
DJ AM: I used to slap the shit out of this one girl who LOVED to be smacked in the face. I’m not much of a bragger anymore though. I grew old and just like it normal.
Stepfather: How much drugs funnel through the clubs you play at, because I once hung out with a stripper, we were sitting next to each other on the bus and she was telling me that clubs have so many drugs…I once did an 8-ball of crystal in a trailer park in Dallas, that’s actually where my blog started. How do you feel about drugs and what is your drug of choice.
DJ AM: Drugs RULE! I used to be a crack head for about 2 years. Nothing is more fun then being so wasted you throw up on yourself at 9:45am on your way to downtown LA to buy crack rocks from the mouth of a 12 year old Mexican kid. Drugs are all over the clubs I DJ. I just like sitting back and watching people learn the hard way.
Stepfather: Would you sleep with your stepdaughter/stepsister if she was really hot? If you said no, would you rethink it if you only met her when she was legal or if she was only in your life for a couple of years?
DJ AM: I would not bone my step ANYTHING. That’s just too damn funky and close to home… Well, if she was Adriana Lima then yes.. but only in the ass.
Stepfather: Do you feel that your music is being overshadowed by your celebrity acquaintances, friends, and lovers?
DJ AM: No.
Stepfather: How do you feel about providing us with some random gossip that no one will read, but you feel you need to get off your chest and what’s the deal with celebrity obsession, I like to pretend I care about celebrity, but I only do it for traffic to the site.
DJ AM: Hmmmmmm… gotta think about that…
Stepfather: I am an alcoholic, and I like to drink everything, including rubbing alcohol and tang, what is your drink of choice?
DJ AM: I am a sober recovering alkie… I aint had a drink in 7 years.
Stepfather: What are the chances that you would put me on permanent guestlist to all your events?
DJ AM: Slim to none cause there is no permanent guest list. But, if you give me a reach around in the booth I may get you in to 1 club.
Stepfather: Could you hook me up with naked pics of celebrities, it seems to really drive a lot of traffic to my site and I would really appreciate it, no one would know it is from you.I am thinking a DJ AM sex tape or something, is that likely?
DJ AM: Not a good look for you, got no pics
Stepfather: Who are your musical influences? What kind of music do you dig? What type of music do you play? What gets your dancefloor bumping?
DJ AM: I am strongly influnced by the music of David Hasselhoff. What a voice on that stunning man.
Stepfather: Are you going to pimp the expression that’s porno? in LA, I think you have the visibility to make this the next big expression, you down?
DJ AM: It could be… but my girl is not feeling that word. I gotta break it in slowly.
Stepfather: I once saw a picture of you in high-end streetwear, have you always supported streetwear? How do you feel about the popularity of the homeless look, I remember when it was limited to people like me, who actually used food stamps while the hottest thing was Brandon Walsh from 90210…
When his Nicole Richie relationship broke and my site was the top result for DJ AM, he hit me up asking me to remove the shit. I went along with it and as he got more and more famous, he started answering me less and less, but when he came to Montreal invited me to come out to his party where I was carted around with Nicole Richie drinking free booze all night.
Then a few months later, I emailed him saying Nicole Richie is a whore who cheated on him with Steve-O and that’s when he stopped acknowledging me completely.
So being the internet asshole I am, I spent the next 4 years busting his balls, teasing him, sending him stupid emails, being an overall pain in the ass and he just constantly ignored me. He’d come to Montreal, I’d go to the events, he’d tell people he hated my site and then this year, on Twitter, I finally got him to laugh at a few of my jokes and I hope that he got the whole thing was just fuckin’ jokes and didn’t stem from actual hatred…I figure if you’re out there, you’re a target or some shit and I know people out there are expecting me to have a field day with this, but I won’t, because he was an easy target in life for what he did with his DJ talent, but not really into continuing it now that he’s dead.
Either way, I do feel sad for the dude, he’s been through a lot and accomplished a lot and is really well respected and loved. I feel sad that the DJ AM jokes have to end and aren’t funny anymore, but I can honestly say I was glad to have met the dude the times that I did and despite deserving to get shanked for some of the shit I pulled, he would always shake my hand while shaking his head in disappointment and I always got a kick out of that shit.
So RIP Motherfucker.
Here’s a video of him celebrating his bday this year….
