I posted the above pic of Scarlett Johansson’s overrated ass in a bikini all 30 years old, divorced and sloppy….pretty much blaming marketing for tricking us into thinking she’s hot….or a sex symbol…or whatever you want to call the foundation of her career that has got her raspy voice, shit acting, attention….

Well today the BIKINI PICTURES CONTINUE only she’s was smart enough to wear shorts this time…I’m not allowed to post the new pictures cuz this dude who runs the paparazzi agency that owns them wants to sue me…or may be trying to sue me…so I’d rather just link the shit…not to mention it is Scarlett Johansson, a serious has been wwho never should have been, who needs to step back and live off her fortune she made of the snake oil sex appeal she sold us….

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You know I’ve found Scarlett Johansson a pretty overhyped – dumpy piece of shit of a woman for pretty much her entire career…I always knew she just had a decent, marketable face that lead to a acting career her raspy little voice probably didn’t deserve, playing the love interest or the hot chick and everyone would shit on me when I called her out for having a bad ass in Ghost World…to a bad ass in Lost in Translation to a bad ass here on the fucking beach with her boyfriends….She’s past her prime…and even in her prime we just bought into the lie that is her cuz we’re idiots…but we’re smarter than we used to be now….and a divorcee comes with a divorcee body whether she’s 30 or 65….so the good news is that thanks to these bikini pics we know what we’re dealing with….not that it’d stop us from trying to K-Fed/crawl in her vagina and die….but we’re just more aware that the perfect sex appeal they made us think she had sure as hell isn’t perfect…

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I have spent a lot of time shitting on Scarlett Johansson for being overratted, not nearly as hot as people think she is, maybe boring and raspy and all hype….I have called her dumpy, sloppy, big nosed….and people have actually sent me hate mail calling me a faggot cuz they assume all those things mean I wouldn’t fuck her…when really it just means I fuck hotter girls that her locally….when drunk….

I think these pictures at the We Bought a Zoo Premiere….prove my fucking point….

But in her defense, I am a fan, you know since she leaked nudes and didn’t sue me like the rest of the dumb sluts who leak nudes do….

Awesome.

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I posted the cover of Interview the other day knowing it was just a matter of time before the rest of the pictures of Scarlett Johansson would hit…and to my surprise she only looked like a Lady Gaga impersonator in a few of the pics….while the others were topless…sure not as topless as the slutty self-shot pics I loved from 2 months ago, that I am sure were leaked to the media to promote something, or divert from something, or to piss off her husband as he was fucking Blake Lively…the same pics she never had lawyers come after me to take down….which is pretty lovely considering all the love level Hollywood bitches who leak this shit get lawyers on you accusing you of being into kiddie porn…I’m talking to you Hudgens.

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Scarlett Johansson, or Scarjo as she’s known to her closest and dearest friends…..is photoshopped to shit on the cover of the latest Interview magazine…wearing some Madonna from the 80s inspired underwear, looking thin, hot and ready to marry you he divorce you forcing you to fuck hotter bitches than her…..and I’m posting it because I’ve seen Scarlett Johansson’s titties in nude cellphone pics, and any girl who takes nude cell pics and doesn’t whine about it like an annoying cunt, but instead gets the dude behind it arrested, while letting all of us celebrate the pics, is a role model to me….seriously. She handled the nude pics better than every other nude pic scandal I’ve dealt withi on this miserable blog.

In fact, nude cellphone pics are a fucking currency to me…I accept it as payment from all favors and tasks, from shoveling driveways this winter, to helping you with your high school homework….

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In case you were wondering….this isn’t Lady Gaga dragging a dude out of the river to steal his penis to staple to her leg…it is Scarlett Johansson…recently divorced, aware that her husband has moved onto the town whore, Blake Lively, figures she should dress like an 80s whore, and drag wet suit wearing scuba men out of the waters searching for missing poeple, and filling her vagina that’s been missing people…if you know what I mean..How else could you explain this?

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After the success of the Is This Olivia Munn Naked post…I figure all you perverts like celebrity look alikes in amateur porn…because a reader sent in these pictures of Scarlett Johansson, assuming they were the other hacked pictures the hacker put out to the internet before getting shut the fuck down, while I’m pretty covinced these are just pictures of some girl who resembles Scarlett Johansson….that’s not to say these aren’t her or that Scarjo doesn’t have these kinds of pics floating around….because let’s face it she went from obscure to huge pretty fast…all while being marketed as this hot piece that was clearly a hell of a lot of marketing…cuz despite being pudgy and decent looking, she was never the level they played her out to be and my theory on that is blowjobs paved the way, it’s the modern “Selling your soul to the devil”…but I’m pretty sure these aren’t pics documenting that….what do you think?

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CLICK HERE TO SEE THEM

I don’t know why I bothered doing any other post today….this Scarlett Johansson pics I posted drunk at 7 am were all I really needed, so I’m posting this to remind you that I POSTED THEM ALREADY …. still don’t know if they are her….but they are amazingness… Notice The Tattoos Match

I know this all you care about – user….I feel like a whore…

Shitty site or not – I WAS THE FIRST TO POST THEM

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Girls with cellphones are such sluts….they all do this nude picture thing…and it is amazing…

Here are the rumored Scarlett Johansson cellphone pics that were stolen a few months ago. I am not going to say they are of her because that will make me liable and she can sue me, but I will say this girl has a serious, uncanny resemblence to Scarlett Johansson….

I’m a firm Scarlett Johansson hater, partially cuz I think her raspy voice and acting is depressing and partially because I find her overrated….When I look at her I don’t see the hotness everyone else does, I see sloppy and big nose….but maybe that’s just by Hollywood standards…cuz these pics are hot enough for me….I guess cuz now I see her in a new light…or maybe it’s just cuz they aren’t of Scarlett Johansson at all… You be the judge judy…

It is 7 am….I am drunk and this isn’t what I want to be doing…You’re welcome. I am going to pass out and possibly choke on my vomit now….It’s been nice working for you…

Sidenote, between you and me, I’m happy to get some celeb nudity sent it, this is the shit the site was built on and the shit I wait for while posting shitty paparazzi stuff, so Scarlett Johansson or not, this gives me hope of a better fucking tomorrow…one sloppy tit and great ass at a time…

Sure these pics are hardly pornographic, gaping, spread eagled perverted, shocking or humiliating….They are all erotic, softcore nudes, all girls have taken of themselves, but that’s better than nothing….and more importantly better than her SHITTY SINGING ….here are the pics.

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Here’s some dumpy shit that’s marketed as being hot for all the virgin losers who love all things comic book and the women in costumes who are bringing their fantasies they’ve jerked off to since they were teenage boys, unable to process how weird jerking off to a drawing is…..

Her name is Scarlett Johansson and she’s taken her half assed, raspy voice, shitty acting and gut and put them into some spanx and spandex to re-invent her sloppy self…and you’re going to masturbate to her….again….maybe cuz she reminds you of a 40 year old mom….who should be wearing an oversized sweatsuit to her pilates class…and that feels like home…but I’m pretty sure it’s just marketing…cuz this bitch is overrated and more importantly overfed. Get her away from the craft services table motherfucker, you have a movie to make….

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