Jesus, this South American bitch has some big fucking eyebrows, I mean these are some serious eyebrows, and by eyebrows, I mean eyebrows and not some clever way of saying tits, cuz you see we all know she’s busy as fuck, it’s why she is on TV, I mean better to get have a token middle aged hispanic woman in hollywood to be busty as fuck than not…..

But these eyebrows, they are distracting, all up on some Andy Rooney fucking caterpillars crawling on her face….

I guess they are better to soak up all the cum she’s had ejaculated on her face as she climbed the ladder in her career…

It all makes sense now, these eyebrows were just as important to her success as the titties that lead to all the blowjobs, because it acted as a much needed mop. I’ve seen how they clean up oil spills. I get what’s going on here….

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Sofia Vergara got herself some more acting work…because despite being 60 fucking years old….she’s still in high demand….for reasons I can only assume involve being from a Colombian drug cartel that feeds the execs in Hollywood….so that they have no choice but to hire her otherwise she will expose them….I mean that or it’s cuz she’s got ridiculous titties…and the movie maker’s know 50 percent of America are hispanic…and in being Hispanic need hispanic characters to relate to….so they might as well cast the best one…even if she’s better suited to be stripping like most single mom immigrants….

Well the acting work in the new Robert Rodriguez movie, Machete Kills….also staring Mel Gibson, Vanessa Hudgens, Jessica Alba, Charlie Sheen, Amber Heard, Alexa Vega, Lady Gaga….but none of the others made the first movie poster…cuz they don’t have tits they can sensationalize with guns…like he did to Rose McGowan’s leg in that Grindhouse shit…

Either way, here’s the poster, I hope it speaks to your inner nerd, which in your case is also your outter nerd…you’re just lucky nerd is still trendy and doesn’t result in getting beat the fuck up….

Guns for tits…on a girl known for her tits…so fucking clever/comedic/obvious/who cares…oh right, you do.

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Sofia Vergara posted this picture of her on set Roller Skating in a compromising position…..wearing tight enough pants for all her fans that like middle aged Latinas so long as they have massive tits and access to a serious cocaine supply…cuz cocaine is awesome…and so are massive tits…especially on broken women, who despite having already made it, all rich and famous, probably have a lot of battle wounds along the way….cuz going from single mother, immigrant who couldn’t speak english to Emmy Award winning actor….instead of stripper married to a drug dealer…makes me think she gives awesome blow jobs….and even though I’ll never find out, I don’t mind staring at her doin her thing…cuz guess what…I have nothing else to do….

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Sofia Vergara has big tits..and she’s not naked for Glamour Mexico…because like all South Americans, she thinks she’s too good to get naked for Mexico….you know all elitist and Hollywood now….probably with a deep rooted hatred for her spanish speaking southern country neighbor cuz in America.. where she’s paved her way….she’s probably been called a Mexican way too many times that whenever she hears Mexico she spits on the fucking ground in spite….or maybe I’m just getting a little too carried away on this….when I shouldn’t have even bothered noting these pics since they aren’t nude.

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This must be a fetish somewhere…

Sofia Vergara has two people working her face to make her look like she’s not a 50 year old single mom of a 25 year old….you know when you’re not looking at her breasts…..and take the time to see what her face actually looks like…which I assume only happens sometimes….like right now when she’s not showing off her tits…even though showing off her tits is the whole reason she exists….making the whole thing so backwards…

Most girls hide their smoke and mirror secrets, their SPANX, their EXLAX and whatever else they use to make themselves look hot….but this girl’s putting this out there….making me think is just a front for the other 3 dozen other people she has airbrushing her into looking like a babe….but we don’t care about that…we just care that she’s making everyday 50 year olds feel inadequate….cuz an inadequate feeling woman is one who gives good head….

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Here’s a clip from 1994, when Sofia Vergara was just 40, posing her smaller than now, but still big single mother trying to make it as hard as she can tits. Fun.

Apparently her tit falls out at some point…but I didn’t notice it becasue I was too busy trying to figure out what the hell I was watching, this low budget TV shit, that you can produce better quality productions on your iPhone, make me laugh, from the voice overs to the actual footage, is fucking genius, and should make a comeback because let’s face it…it’s a fucking joke in and of itself….kinda like this 90s hair….

Hispanic people are funny. That said, I am sure if you looked deep into the archives on the internet -even though she was struggling before the internet….there’d be a ton of her nudes….somewhere….cuz you don’t get famous keeping your clothes on especially when you’re a single mother!

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The most irritating thing about the Golden Globes is when the blogs write shit like “the best globes at the golden globes”…or “look at her golden globes at the golden globes”….it is obvious…lacks creativity…is not funny…and if anything…it offends me….

I mean that and that Tina Fey chick hosting it with her awkward girl humor…

The least irritating thing about the golden globes all the big titties I avoid calling Golden Globes so that I’m not like everyone else…

Here’s Sofia Vergara feeding her Tits after midnight in preparation for the Golden Globes cuz we have big expectations for these tits…since they are the reason she’s even going to the Golden Globes….and as much as I don’t like watching girls eat….some girls gain weight in the right spots….and that makes it perfectly ok…

I am not committing to watching to Golden Globes cuz I hate that award shit…you know celebrating our industry ourselves…..It’s masturbatory and I prefer my masturbation videos to have pussy in them….

But I will say…I may…. TWEET IT cuz twitter is my friend….

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Sofia Vergara has big tits. She’s in a one piece bathing suit. She’s pushing 50. She’s scammed the system. Who cares. You do…because your moms didn’t breast feed you, or because the media and porn has made you tit obsessed, or maybe you’re like me, and realize that a Colombian who has made it to the top, unlike all the other Colombians, probably has some amazing cocaine ties…you know so good they open the back door to hollywood….and that…I guess makes her worth her titties weight in semen….cuz a girl with free coke….no matter what she looks like….is my kind of vagina….I’m a hooker like that…

UPDATE – HER TIT FELL OUT ON NEW YEARS EVE ACCORDING TO TMZ AND THEY POSTED THE NON NIPPLE VERSION – HOARDING IT FOR THEMSELVES – YOU KNOW MAXIMIZING THE MONEY THEY MAKE ON THIS SHIT…..OR NOT RELEASING IT – NOT TO MENTION HER TITS LOOK OLD LADY AND LIKE SHIT……AND HER NUDITY IS PROBABLY AVAILABLE ONLINE FROM WHEN SHE WAS AT HER PRIME

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Sofia Vergara’s rocking some optical illusion bathing suit for twitter that I assume she has scientists working for her to decidethe best way to package her old lady ass and huge titties for the public…an investment she doesn’t mind splurging on because she’s been using her tits since her teens to get knocked up….and now that she’s not forced to lick brass poles to pay the rent as a hard up immigrant in miami…and is in fact rich…she can splurge on those important things….and I for one thank Santa for that….

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Sofia Vergara has come a long fucking way from being a broken down 20 year old single mothered faced with stripping or re-marrying rich….so she gets the importance of her ridiculous tits…and how at 40 and an Emmy winner…she owes a lot to them…so she might as well celebrate them and put them on blast on set…cuz really they are all that fucking matter….and I’m thankful for that….

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