The stepNEWS is fucking amazing…it’s a real son of a gun…I want to be a son of gun,…what the fuck is a son of a gun…

On a side note a girl on facebook wrote “So, running is hard” and I responded “So is running hard”….you see what I did there…took her statement, used the words, made it seem like a response, only better….and my genius didn’t make her panties wet….

Now back to the stepNEWS….that is fucking amazing…that is a real son of a gun…..I mean a naked man and an iguana and an angry son just fucking rapes my mind it’s so good….but so is the couple who fucked in a public pool for over half an hour..watch…

Reporter Attacked On Live TV
Reporter Chris O’Connell was attacked on live TV by the son of a man charged in a bizarre animal cruelty case involving a naked man and an iguana in Philadelphia.

Police: Sex Club Posed as Church
A judge has closed down an establishment Dallas police call a sex club run by a man who calls it a religious ministry.

Disabled Man Assaulted Over Parking Spot
A Massachusetts elected official allegedly assaulted a disabled man over a parking spot.

Police: naked vandals arrested
Last week after leaving O’Maddy’s Bar in Gulfport Beach, two men were arrested for disorderly intoxication because they were walking home naked. But police say they did a lot more than just that.

Man Lived with Corpse for Months
Mesa Police say they have arrested a man suspected of killing his girlfriend and living with her body for more than two months.

Serial Butt Slasher in VA
Someone has been slashing women in the buttocks at upscale shopping centers in Northern Virginia.

Couple arrested for sex in swimming pool
An Indiana couple caught doing the nasty in a public pool have turned themselves in. Victoria Cross and Myron Helms were spotted by dozens of onlookers – including children – as they had sex for at least a half hour at the Roberts Park Family Aquatic Center last Monday.

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Baptist Preacher Gives Spirited Prayer: Thank you for my smoking’ hot wife
A Baptist preacher gave a spirited prayer before NASCAR fans in Lebanon, Tennessee.

STUDY: More Men Make Regret Posts Online
Some new studies have found a lot of people have regrets about things they said online and surprisingly its more men.

I almost forgot about the stepNEWS….you know not because I am on my summer break….recycling old posts…like all the other cushy spoiled assholes in the media…doing the re-run hustles…cuz I don’t take breaks…the idea of vacation doesn’t exist…cuz my whole life is a vacation…excpet maybe for the whole poverty part…But I’m pretty glad to bring it back today cuz some of these clips are fucking amazing….

Flash Mob Robbery at Victoria’s Secret
D.C. Police detectives are investigating a theft at a Victoria’s Secret store Monday afternoon located inside the Shops at Georgetown Park.

Video shows adults beating teenager
The mother of a 16-year-old is filing a complaint after, she says, two adults beat her daughter in a Worcester park over the weekend.

Caught on Tape: Suspect Shocks Gas Station Employee with Stun Gun
Police say a robbery suspect used a stun gun on a female clerk at a Shell gas station.

Car Crashes Into Philly Burger King
A car has driven into a Burger King in Philadelphia’s busy Center City district, injuring seven people.

French Runners Fight after Race
A fight broke out between two French middle distance runners during the weekend’s Monaco Diamond League meeting.

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Here’s a cool video of some burst water main or flooded storm drain in Montreal, a city that I live in and that is borderline third world cuz they spend all the tax dollars on corrupt politics like programs to seperate from the country instead of making roads….and the shit’s lifting up a car….and that’s pretty crazy….

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And just when you thought the stepNEWS was gone cuz no one really liked it…It’s back in full throttle…It is entitled to a summer vacation, even though I am not.

So here I am, doin’ the Peter Jennings.

Man Files Lawsuit For HIV Misdiagnosis…When it comes to HIV, get a second opinion….
A D.C. man says he walked around for five years thinking he was HIV-positive when he was actually not. Terry Hedgepeth says he was misdiagnosed in 2000 by the Whitman-Walker Clinic.

Heidi Montag Dishes on “Famous Food” – Even though this is hardly news….but I’d rather squeeze it in here than give this trash her own post….she’ll do anything that gets her on tv….

Heidi Montag is starring in VH1’s new reality show called “Famous Food, ” in which she and six other celebrities compete for a partnership in a hot new restaurant. On Thursday Heidi talked to us about doing the show and her experience working in her parents’ fine dining restaurant as a teenager.

Behold, the man-gagement ring
It’s a hot new jewelry trend, but it’s not for women. It’s for guys who want to show everyone they’re off the market. So, would you wear a “man-gagement ring?”

NYC Store Bans Drunk Puppy-Buying
There’s drunk dialing and drunk texting, but now there’s drunk puppy-buying.

Man Arrested, Caught With Blow-Up Doll and he Looks lIke Someone Who Would Have Sex With Sex Doll in Public

A man was arrested after police say they found him “attempting sexual relations” with a blow-up doll at a late night adult store in Woodbridge.

Caught on Tape: The Human Home Run
Dave “The Bullet” Smith went deep, launching himself 195 feet over the wall for the first ever Human Home Run.

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One of my favorite things in the news, other than the stupidy of the people in the news, or more importantly the insignificance of the story in the grand scheme of things in the world in local news…is the news anchors…they are almost clown-like in the way they communicate, talking heads reading prompters in efforts to keep an upbeat engaging sound they’ve practiced so hard to have, that almost makes them sound like they are mocking the news….and sometimes…we get gems like this…where they are just actually human and mocking the news…news blooper reels are my porn….

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Here’s some ridiculousness going on in the news…cuz the news is porn to me…at least it was that year I was a reclusive, never left the house, and just sat around all day masturbating to he one channel I had on TV thanks to the internet not being invented yet….But I’m not posting thes for the sex appeal…I’m doing it for the love of keeping you up to date on stories that probably don’t go national…cuz local news, like a low budget, joke that it is…is always amazing.

Body goes unnoticed in public pool – She’s Black – I Don’t Think it was an “Unnoticed” situation….if you know what I mean….
FALL RIVER – The body of a Fall River woman was discovered floating in a state run pool late last night, two days after she apparently drowned in that same pool.

Turtles Cause Flight Delays at JFK Airport
Flight delays at JFK Airport on Wednesday morning were being blamed on turtles wandering onto the runway.

Man Robs Walmart of Ammunition, Beer
A Walmart store in Arizona is robbed at gunpoint, but it wasn’t money the suspect wanted — it was hundreds of rounds of ammunition.

Officer admits to smuggling drugs
NORFOLK – A prison officer in charge of upholding the law has admitted to breaking it.

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here’s the latest stepNEWS cuz sometimes I dress up in pantsuits, get my hair and make up did, and pretend I’m on a morning show….it’s strictly for masturbation purposes…but lucky you get the stepNEWS out of it…

I don’t now what I’m talking about….

Man Accused of Inappropriate Touching
Peoria Police are looking for a man who inappropriately touched two young girls inside of a Dollar Tree store.

Michigan Mom: Breastfeeding Brouhaha on the Bus
A mother with a newborn says she got caught up in a breastfeeding brouhaha. The Taylor woman claims a bus driver tried to give her the boot for feeding her baby on board.

Last Effort for Anti-Groping Bill
The Texas House will get a chance vote on a bill that would criminalize inappropriate, invasive searches by federal employees, even though the chances of it passing are a long shot.

Mom ‘Too Drunk’ to Pick Up Kid at School
A St. Paul woman has been charged with two counts of second-degree DWI after trying to pick up her daughter from Monroe Elementary School with a .30 blood-alcohol content, nearly four times the legal limit.

Man Hit by Car, Dies in Passenger Seat
Investigators say a driver was so intoxicated that he struck a man walking along the Gulf Freeway with his Mazda 626 and never realized the victim’s body fell into the passenger side of the car.

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I am just doing my part to remind you that the end of the world is on pace to hit probably sooner than later because the world is filled with fucking morons and morons have a tendency to ruin all things good….like the world……

I mean just go to a frat party and you will see lots of free booze you’d rather not be drinking because it means you have to associate with these assholes and their topless, homoerotic, annoying antics….and that’s just the tip of the fucking iceberg of morons…I mean shit is layers and layers deep…it is part of the reason i don’t leave my house…for fear a moron may do something moronic and shit ends up murdering me….not that what I think actually matters…either way, here’s me doing the Barbara Walters…

Audio: Sex Trade Victim Hides from Pimp
We’re hearing a chilling 911 call from a 15-year-old girl who feared for her life. She got into a fight with her alleged pimp over money.

‘Flash robs’ plan group robberies
Recently, in big cities around the country, the intent of some flash mobs has not social or entertainment, but rather criminal. Kids are getting together for “flash robs,” and law enforcement agenicies here in the Bay Area are working to prevent them.

Breastfeeding DC Cops Face New Rules
Breastfeeding cops are back on the street thanks to a new DC Police policy. Binding body armor and less than satisfactory lactation rooms have the union filing a complaint. The Metropolitan Police Department previously put pregnant and breastfeeding police officers on desk duty.

Caught on Tape: Teen falls from top of escalator while goofing off
A local 18-year-old learns the hard way that you shouldn’t ride the handrail of an escalator.

Caught on Tape: Sharks Jumps Surfer in at Florida Beach
Video from New Smyrna Beach, Florida show a shark jumping and spinning out of the water and over a surfer.

TSA pats down woman, removes diaper
A 95-year-old cancer patient says she feels violated after TSA agents forced her to remove her adult diaper during airport screening in Florida.

Alien Flying Over London – I Think It’s a Marketing Campaign for a Movie….Or the End of the Fucking World….We are not alone…..

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I’m a firm believer in “why watch the news, when you can make the news”….all you really have to do is something ridiculously stupid, and the camera crews will be there to document it, the police will be there to arrest you, and you will have all the glory….that you’ll probably regret wanting when you first get prison raped in the showers.

Here’s the news….to bring some culture and current affair knowledge to your shitty life….maybe you can talk to your online friends about it….

Boy, 7, Goes for a Drive, Caught on Tape
A 7-year-old Michigan boy barefoot and in pajamas drove a car for 20 miles, sometimes hitting speeds of 50 mph, before finally slowing down and stopping with the help of police.

Mean Mom Accused of Violating Probation
A neighborhood feud in Trenton that made national headlines is making news again. Jennifer Petkov, the woman accused of taunting neighbors, including a dying little girl, is now accused of violating her probation.

32 arrested in Lake County sex-sting.
Thirty-two men are behind bars after being caught in an undercover sex-sting operation. The Lake County Sheriff’s Office announced the arrests Tuesday.
People need to not be sex offenders in Florida.

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I listened to the news yesterday cuz I don’t have a TV so I stick to Radio and I found out a dude robbed a bank for $1 cuz he heard there was free healthcare in prison. Pretty genius stunt, he shoulda filmed it and put it on VIMEO, he’d be a hipster legend….I also heard a women got her eyes poked out and her nose bit off by her husband when she went back home to see him…the stepNEWS is way more hardcore than those stories…we go big here….and by we I mean me cuz I’m all alone…

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