Tanning Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2010

21

May

Lady Gaga Bird Faced and Tanning of the Day

I love these stalker pictures because it makes me feel like I am in on the perverted peeping tom, only I don’t get the thousands of dollars for getting the picture, I just get to look at them….not that I like looking at pictures of Lady Gaga ever, especially when they pretty much show nothing but Gaga’s weird weak-chinned, big-nosed, bird face, but she is covered up in a fucking t-shirt so that her shitty pasty skin doesn’t get a fucking burn or some shit and that is something worth celebrating, because I don’t want to see Gaga naked, I find her a monster with no sex appeal and I hate that she already pollutes our lives with her disgusting half naked body, so it’s nice to see that in her downtime, she knows shit is really fucking inappropriate and that no one really wants to see her disgustingness, while I thought she was fame-hungry enough to be fisting her ass and playing with her balls while clamping her sloppy tits to get noticed….but I guess she’s finally getting broken down by all the attention and is tired of living her lie, so it’s just a matter of time before she is forgotten which will end with her suicide…cuz she’s cliche and thinks that’s poetic and I’m happy about that, cuz I’m ready for Gaga to end.

Here are some pics of her getting off the boat I wish sank when she was on it – and she’s back in costume – living her lie – pantsless….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Lady Gaga|Tanning

2009

05

Aug

Kate Moss and Karen Mulder Are Having a Topless Boat Party of the Day

4 Comments »

The one thing I don’t understand about these bitches who tan topless, is why they don’t just take off their bottoms too. Is there something disgusting going on that they don’t want people to see? Or is it deemed inappropriate to be fully naked on a boat, but totally cool to be topless, I mean I’d figure most girls would be more insecure about lettin’ their tits out to the sun than their pussies, because for the most part, when a girl is standing up, her pussy doesn’t really stick out to much, and if shaved almost looks like bitch is wearing a nude colored bathing suit bottom. I guess women are just too complex for me to grasp, or maybe Kate Moss is on her period or has a rash that she doesn’t want the paparazzi to see, but she’s totally cool hanging with other 40 year olds half naked in some kind of topless party that reminds me of some hippie shit I wasn’t invited to.

Either way, Karen Mulder or whoever has the floppy tits needs and breast lift and I’m willing to give it to her with my mouth…

Posted in:Kate Moss|Tanning|Topless

2008

02

Oct

Miley Cyrus Hits Up the Tanning Salon of the Day

5 Comments »

Miley Cyrus like all young sluts, was spotted leaving the tanning salon the other day. There’s just something about tanning salons that screams that anyone who goes to them is not a fucking virgin, especially when they are in California, the Sunny State, leading me to believe she’s sleeping in all day and in up all night doing inappropriate things with her vagina. The only places that would confirm that she is breaching her promise ring promise, more than this tanning salon, would be the Bikini Wax Studio or Planned Parenthood. Either way, she’s not hot, she’s underage, so thinking about her banging shouldn’t be on your masturbation list, but whether she gets fully naked or leaves her panties on during her tanning bed sessions, should be, I just haven’t figured out why.

Posted in:Miley Cyrus|Tanning

2008

15

Jul

Davina Taylor is Topless and Tanning of the Day

12 Comments »

I am a huge Davina Taylor fan and have been one for as long as I can remember, which is about 3 minutes. Not only is she a slut who starred on the UK Soap Hollyoaks, but she’s also the daughter of one of the richest men in the UK, she married David Beckham’s best soccer playing friend, and had a drug problem that let her to cocaine fueled sex orgies with Kate Moss and Sadie Frost and rehab and now topless tanning, something all rich girls should do once a week and send me pictures of because it reminds me of all the ways I went wrong in my life. Like watching porn until 8 am last night because I didn’t want to go to bed with my wife and had nothing better to do, unable to get hard because of the broken penis and being pretty desensitized to everything thus unable to jerk off taking away from the whole point of watching porn, and deciding to write this site instead of going to sleep making me really fucking tired right now.

Posted in:Davina Taylor|Tanning|Topless

2007

02

May

I am – Anastacia on the Beach of the Day

1 Comment »

So it looks like Anastacia has been bitten by the big black cock and is dating one that fucks her fat blonde ass proper. I probably could have predicted this if I knew who the slut was, because she’s blonde and has a fat ass and blonde girls with fat asses love big black cock and big black cock seems to love blonde girls with fat asses too…

I went outside today, which was something I generally don’t do, but as soon as I opened a door there was some IRC action going down in my lobby. I know the concept of me having a lobby seems pretty luxurious, but it’s not the fucking Hilton here, my lobby consists of some broken mailboxes and a garbage can. Either way, these two fuckers were fully tounging the fuck out of each other’s throats and when I walked down the stairs they acted like I was some sick fuck who just walked into the bedroom on them. I told them that it was a nice show but next time I want more genital action and they just ran off. I assume they were teenagers skipping school, my morning IRC action was black chick on white dude, so it really has nothing to do with this Fat Ass Blonde/ Big Black Cock theory, but I’ll still post them here pictures. Cuddles.