I know my posts were not celebrity/nudity influenced today and that traffic is going to really suffer because all 10 of you are here to see Paris’ latest nip slip. I know that all I had today was a video of some jackass dancing and an Interview by some dude pretending to be Abi Titmuss…but at least I am not a black man who hangs out in the mall with a baseball hat that still has its labels on and a t-shirt down to my knees krumping to christmas carrols trying to make some extra money to buy momma that turkey she always wanted for christmas dinner…

Here are the links.

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I still don’t know if this Abi Titmuss site is real. I have a feeling that it isn’t, because no one ever emails me so the chances of some big breasted UK porn lookin’ bitch emailing me is really unlikely. What is more likely is that some dude from the UK started up some fan site and is trying to make as much money as possible before getting sued by the real Abi Titmuss, who is too busy ripping lines and sucking dick to send emails. Some readers have signed up and emailed me that it’s a scam, but either way I have this Titmuss interviews Jodie Marsh interview…..

Abi Titmuss interviews Jodie Marsh for Drunken Stepfather

Hi Jodie, and thanks for agreeing to do this interview with me. To get things started how about yo tell everyone a little about yourself.
Ok, Hi Abi and everyone reading this, I guess I’m famous for being a sex crazy page 3 girl who can’t keep her clothes on! I burst on the scene when I started showing up at film premiers wearing next to nothing.

You mean like the belt dress? Where did you get that idea from?
Its cliché I know but I didn’t have anything to wear so I wrapped a belt around my boobs, just so it covered my nipples. It looked so good that I though I’d try it with two belts one over each shoulder! It worked! And it got it me on the front cover of some tabloids so it was all good baby!

Tell me about your sexual past and your sexual preferences. What rocks you in bed.
Group sex! I love the feeling of being completely fucked. My best sexual experience (sorry Abi, even better than the one on video with you and Matt) was years ago in a barn with 4 guys and another girl. I got the fucking of my life and I’ll never ever forget it. I couldn’t walk for two days!

You are so rude, I’ve never done it with four men at once! I’ve done it with two though so I kind of know what you mean. Talking of rude girls, tell me about your famous ongoing row with Jordan.
Its all one sided. I admit that I don’t like her but she absolutely hates my guts. I think its because everyone knows that her tits are fake and mine are real. Also, Jordan never really got to grips with the fact that she is no different to every other glamour girl. She’s just wank fodder like all glamour girls are. One of the reasons I’m happy is that I know guys wank off to my photos and videos and I love it. I haven’t got any ideas above my station!

If you could do anything differently in your life what would you do?
I would not have done celebrity big brother. I hated it.

What would you do if you bumped into Pete Burns now?
I think I’d kick him in the nuts and run. He’s a nasty piece of work.

Any advice for any girls that want to get into the industry?
You mean the celebporn industry that you and I are in? Just make sure you keep control of your own stuff. If you start making sex videos just make sure that you don’t let them fall into the wrong hands. Look at Paris Hilton. Even though money isn’t a problem for her I bet she would rather have been in control of the situation than get treated like she did.

I hate Paris Hilton, I think she’s an air head. Are you telling me you like her?
Hell no! I can’t stand her anymore than anyone else can. I just think that she was taken for a ride, literally, over that video tape and now the corporate big guys are making all the money which isn’t fair.

Yeah, I know what you mean. She’s still a dumbo though! Looking forward, what does the future hold for Jodie Marsh?
I’m looking forward to the reaction to the hardcore video I’ve done with you for your website. I think all the guys out there are going to love it. If it is popular I’ll probably do some more. I know our mate Linsey fancies doing some with us as well so thats something to think about.

Any special messages for the Drunken Stepfather readers?
Keep wanking guys! We love ya for it!

Thanks Jodie, you horny little bitch!

If you want to see me in action, and get all of my hardcore photos and videos visit my very own official website TotallyTitmuss where you can download my porn films including my new XXX video with Jodie Marsh, watch me get naked and fuck for you, as well as read my own horny personal blog.

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I did a 15 year old girl’s homework for her. I did a really bad job. I never finished highschool. So I am probably helping her never finish highschool This is what I wrote, maybe you’ll find it funny….

Muffled sounds filled my ears and my eyes felt heavy. I kept looking up towards the shapes in front of me but all i could see was a blur, then blackness. Vivid colors filled my mind and I think I even saw myself running through a field chasing after a butterfly like I did as a child. All of sudden, I heard what sounded like a loud bang, it turned out that it was someone calling my name. I opened my eyes, awoke from my slumber and you were there looking back at me with disgust for falling asleep on my desk, on your time.

These are my links for the day, maybe you’ll find them funny….

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This Pic Was Taken By a Guy Who Used
This

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Do you remember stepSTEVE. He lived on my couch and starred in such stepTV classics as “Steve Does a Body Shot Like a Girl”, “Steve Takes a Shit of the Day” (youtube pulled that one), “Rapping for Mayor”, “Jersey Girls are Trash”, “Homeless Man in Bank” and the “Guy Pees on Buckcherry Tour Bus While Girl Rubs her Tits Up on It” that is yet to be released, because stepSTEVE is too busy getting drunk and famous to edit video for me….Since he’s left my couch he’s stopped the stepUPDATE emails, dropped the step from his name and has moved on to bigger and better things, leaving me and my dream behind and running after his own. He joined a band, but not any band…a band that is pretty much already signed.

When asked how the hell a guy who never played an instrument landed a gig in a band that is going to get signed, Steve said:

They thought i looked good, i said i could learn…

So he’s no longer stepSTEVE, he’s now going by the name Stephen James and based on this statement, I think it’s safe to say that the other guys in the band may have a little more in mind for Stephen James than his stage presence, if you know what I mean.

I’d like you all to wish Stephen James luck in his future endeavor and when he does become famous, let’s hope he remembers who gave him a couch to sleep on….

Check out their Myspace. Their is a song on it. Add them as a Friend

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This is a video of cunt Perez Hilton getting served a Cease and Desist by SplashNewsOnline, a Paparazzi/Photo Agency. I have issues with both the bloggers and the paparazzi. It is hard not to hate the success a fat, lazy, ugly gay man like Perez has achieved. He is making over over $25,000 a month off a shitty blog that probably costs him nothing to run, while I sit here producing the best content on the internet according to me for $300 a month…but that’s not the point, the point is that I don’t understand his appeal but I don’t feel like talking about it, it just upsets me. I guess the only good thing about what he has done is that the assholes who run the paparazzi agencies are losing money. These fuckers run after people like ME when we stumble across their pictures on the internet and post them. One agency called x17 sent me threatening emails like this:

We’re asking that everyone cease and desist using X17’s images, watermarked or not, effective immediately. We’ve gotta get some traffic out of our Britney story….
….we’re losing money, guys!

This means no Britney pix unless you email first and we’ll decide on a case-by-case basis.

and

why the mean message? If you think we’re fuckers, I’m happy to start sending the cease and desist letters

and

Jesus, jesus! — you do not have the right to use our images in any postings on You Tube or on any site other than your own. We have given blogs the extremely generous use of our image in exchange for links to our site on each image. We do not condone the use of our images for any other purpose without licensing the images for such use. Don’t forget — we’re a photo agency — our business depends on selling our images. I will contact You Tube and ask them to remove your videos that include our images.

and

If you do not agree to our terms of use, we will invoice you and take you to court if you don’t pay the invoices. You chose … I’ve got plenty of money to waste on legal fees

and

You aren’t even one of the top ten people to link to us — you’ll hear from our lawyer next — we offer you a great deal if you want to link to us. The fact that our pix are all over the internet doesn’t make what you’re doing legal. You can work with us by our rules or you can stop using X17 images. We may not have given you a link yet, but we’re giving you free pictures! What would you site be without all the images you steal from the internet every day … You really have to think about what you’re doing — I think we’ve been pretty nice.

They hate the fact that we release shit they sell the rights to for 1000s of dollars to magazines days/weeks before those magazines go to print. They hate that we make the magazines who fuel their lives obsolete and that we use their “hard” work for free. What I guess they don’t understand is that what they do is worse than stealing a person’s pictures and posting them. They try to steal a person’s privacy, they stalk, follow and sell images of people they don’t even know. This shit is fucking criminal. I know it may seem hypocritcial that I am here posting paparazzi bullshit everyday, but I only do it because it’s available. If it wasn’t, I’d find other things to talk about. I am crafty like that.

I guess what I am saying is that I’d love to see both parties go bankrupt. I’d love to see Perez’s 6 months of fame dwindle into the sewer that is his life….and I’d love to see the cunts making more money than me stalking go bankrupt because all this celebrity obsession is pretty fucking pathetic. I think you need to start focusing on your own useless life and sorting it out than worrying about what penis is in Lohan’s numb from cocaine mouth.

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I am sitting in Starbucks because the woman who works here caught me outside and told me she had free coffee for me. I am ghetto like that. I sat behind a leather jacket wearing “comedy writer” who has already written 2 movies you’ve never heard of and is filming the third. We pretend we don’t know each other, but I know he used to work at my video store for about 4 years and always charged me late fees…motherfucker’s Kevin Smithin’ it….He’s been writing a message to a girl on myspace for at least 20 minutes. I don’t even spend 20 minutes on these life changing posts, except for maybe the stepLINKS cuz I have to dig like a fucking african tribe lookin’ for water….that’s not the point….the point is that dude best be getting a piece of this bitch he just spent so long myspacing…that message better be fucking tight…it better have her on all fours with a dildo in hand by the end of it….cuz otherwise dude just wasted 20 mintues of his life…That’s the story I heard.

PS – There’s a 12 year old momma’s boy sitting behind me with his mother practicing his french. I’d find it cute if it wasn’t so fucking annoying. I know this kid will be sucking gumballs out of trannies in Brazil in 10 years screaming “Thanks for making me the man-pussy MOM….” That is also the story I heard. Here are my links. Cuddles.

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Brought to you by Shirts That Distract Girls From Your Pee Stains

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I am sitting next to a lesbian at least a girl who is wearing intense shoes that could be confused as being lesbionic, but she’s too lipstick and jewish to be a lesbian. Some other lesbian with rockin’ indy rock hair (if she had a penis), cut off gloves and pants hangin off her ass like she was Eminem just walked up and they are talking about pianos, I guess that shit is code word for cunt. Then they started talking about season 2 of the L-Word, a lesbian show and now they are talking about parties they went to together one called “the piano bar” and the other called “lips” so now I am convinced piano means cunt. This seems very awkward like they have both played each other’s pianos and now they are talking about how red each other’s lips are. I feel like I am in the bedroom with them….and it’s not that sexy.

I am pretty creepy for outting their conversation on the internet, I am pretty sure they will never read this because no one is reading this. I’d like to dedicate this post to the lesbians…I feel like I don’t give them enough love, mainly because they hate me for having a penis….even though it’s a penis that doesn’t work….

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