I am watching Oprah right now, because I don’t have a job and this is what unemployed people with no cable do. It is about some fat bitch who used to weigh 500 lbs. She just started talking about how her vagina was HANGING between her legs amongst rolls of fat. Like most people who watch Oprah, I got inspired, only it wasn’t to get off my ass, it was to do a Lohan post, because whenever I hear people talk about fat hanging cunt, I think Lohan.

This fat bitch on Oprah is reading a grade 3 level poem she wrote her Jew Plastic surgeon (he’s got the jew hat on), which reminded me of a message I sent to Zach Braff, a Jew. I have yet to hear a response.

Dear Zach,

i run the coolest fucking site on the internet and i want you to do a stepINTERVIEW. Don’t be a pussy and support the underdog (me).

I loved you in Schindler’s List.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

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I was told that I turn people off because of my perversion. I was told that I am boring, repetitive and my sexually charged comments are getting old and tired like your dick from all the jerking off. Wouldn’t it be nice to slide it into something soft and moist. This all started when I told one girl on my IM that I jerked off thinking about her but couldn’t cum and that she’d need to send me some pics to redeem herself. What I didn’t tell these girls is that I don’t jerk off because I can’t get hard, I was just pretending I jerked off to her and she couldn’t make me cum. I don’t think that’s perverted, perverted would have been if I hid in her bathroom closet and watched her take a shit. I don’t think I am boring and repetitive, I think making someone feel uncomfortable by telling them that I jerk off thinking of them is next level creepy comedy. It’s something I like to call my own. What is boring a repetitive and does make me feel uncomfortable are these pictures of Uma Thurman, she’s got more penis than me, which isn’t saying much other than long hair doesn’t make a woman and it is probably saying something a lot about his husband.

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I like to think I cater to the needs of an international, diverse audience. That is why I write in broken english, I make racial slurs and I lack respect for all cultures. That is also probably why I have about 10 readers a day, even though I started before 85% of the other celebrity sites that are featured on MTV. But I am making moves to take over the internet, motherfuckers, it’s my time to shine. So today I took down the porn banner along the left side of the site and I also added some pretty sexy FEATURES to the site and most important of all, I am posting an email from a Paraguyan reader, because if I can’t be big in the USA, next stop is Paraguay.

These are photos and videos that people used to send me to post at www.mambonegro.com is an paraguayan website

There are 2 paraguayan famous models that have their pics on cel phone camera.

One is Helen Roux

Here is the Other Celina Gracia she is kinda
paraguayan paris hilton, but nobody know paraguay so nobody knows she.

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Hey people, this is one of my readers, this is the email he sent, it’s long so I am not going to make further commentary on the people who come to this site, I’ll let you figure it out on your own, but let me pretend that’s you’re all something fierce and not virgins in their mom’s basement….

I saw Kelly Monaco on FOX News this morning and jerked off all over my television set. …

Hey Friend, I got the above information while doing a search for some help. As you can see below I’m trying to get a photo of Kelly in “that very short dress” she had on during the interview on Fox and Friends last week. WOW! I have made contacts to Fox but get no reply concerning a PHOTO, I also sent request to other locations, but nothing yet. Fox does have the replay “video” but I’m really trying to get a still photo. Do you have one or know where I can go to get one. Man, just like the person said above on your search site, it made my blood run hot also. Below is some sites that I have made attempts with but no luck so far. Any ideas will be greatly appreciated, I have a picture frame waiting to find a photo (this photo) of Kelly in that very short outstanding dress with those fantastic legs. I already have a lot of photos of her but this one is the one I’d like to hang on my wall. Much appreciated and take care. Your reply will be greatly appreciated. Jimmy

*Below sent to Fox and Friends*

Hi, the above is an interview with Kelly Monaco that was on “Fox and Friends” the week of August 21st – 25 of 2006; I think it was actually on the morning of the 23rd but not certain. My question is concerning your web page does have the video of this interview but no still photos. I’m interested in knowing if there are any still photos of the interview? I went to a site known as “TVHEADS.COM” and they did have photos of the Anchor people but nothing showing up for the actual interview with Kelly Monaco. Are any photos available for viewing from Fox or do you know of any other outside sites than may have photos of this interview. The video is fine but trying to track down a still photo. Much appreciated and I look forward to your reply. May I wish you a great day filled with joy and many blessings. Take care! Jimmy

Hey People, These are my links, Click them if you get a chance, send in some if you’re interested in being linked on the coolest site on the internet.

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Seal was photographed watching Heidi Klum, who is already knocked up with his second baby, load the stroller in the car. I guess dude’s got the biggest fucking dick or something because he’s already knocked her up 2 times in the last year and he’s making her work her pregnant ass of while taking care of their first baby’s needs. I know she’s German, and German’s are pretty fucking intense when it comes to work ethic and regimented discipline, proven by the Nazis in the ’30s, but this isn’t a fucking history lesson. This is a lesson in knowing how to fuck your bitch right and never having to pick up a finger. It is also a lesson that babies are a lot of work, work a black man may not be willing to undertake. Heidi Klum is Way Hardcore. Motherfuckers.

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I had a lot of random dreams last night, I normally don’t have dreams and if I do, I never talk about them because listening to someone go into details about their dreams is probably one of the most annoying things a person can do. It takes a real self-absorbed cunt to think people actually care about what they dreamt about, but since it’s my site, I can write about whatever I want, even when it’s self absorbed. The first dream was about me riding in a taxi that was being driven by my doctor, I ended up at a ski hill in my underwear. I went inside because of the cold was pissing me off and sat on a couch, when I stood up I saw that I left a red wine stain that came out of my ass. When I looked for my taxi driver doctor to ask why red wine colored shit was coming out of my ass, he was gone. Dream number 2 took place at a family BBQ where I bumped into Christina Aguilera. She fell in love with me and I never found out why she was at my BBQ, but she was fucking annoying. The last dream was the best, it was of me watching an infomercial selling mortgages or insurrance but the twist was that they were using ChildSuperModels (a site I saw on OPRAH and took out the link to because you were all calling me a child porn peddler) to sell something boring.

Speaking of boring, here are some pics of Nicky Hilton’s Gunt, Bubble Cunt, Ponch, Muff Gut, Fat Uterus, or whatever the fuck you want to call it. You know it’s always sexy on a girl in her early 20s, it means she’s either knocked up or bitch is on a one way trip to looking like a Wal Mart cashier. I am not even going to bring up her weak chin, because I am a nice guy. Cuddles.

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I had a lot of random dreams last night, I normally don’t have dreams and if I do, I never talk about them because listening to someone go into details about their dreams is probably one of the most annoying things a person can do. It takes a real self-absorbed cunt to think people actually care about what they dreamt about, but since it’s my site, I can write about whatever I want, even when it’s self absorbed. The first dream was about me riding in a taxi that was being driven by my doctor, I ended up at a ski hill in my underwear. I went inside because of the cold was pissing me off and sat on a couch, when I stood up I saw that I left a red wine stain that came out of my ass. When I looked for my taxi driver doctor to ask why red wine colored shit was coming out of my ass, he was gone. Dream number 2 took place at a family BBQ where I bumped into Christina Aguilera. She fell in love with me and I never found out why she was at my BBQ, but she was fucking annoying. The last dream was the best, it was of me watching an infomercial selling mortgages or insurrance but the twist was that they were using ChildSuperModels (a site I saw on OPRAH and took out the link to because you were all calling me a child porn peddler) to sell something boring.

Speaking of boring, here are some pics of Nicky Hilton’s Gunt, Bubble Cunt, Ponch, Muff Gut, Fat Uterus, or whatever the fuck you want to call it. You know it’s always sexy on a girl in her early 20s, it means she’s either knocked up or bitch is on a one way trip to looking like a Wal Mart cashier. I am not even going to bring up her weak chin, because I am a nice guy. Cuddles.

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I used to hate these cunts. I used to get annoyed when the media started saying that they were hot. I got more annoyed when the masses of people who listen to what the media say followed their lead and started saying they were hot too. We were stuck with a society of people who thought 2 ugly bitches were hot all because some asshole fucked up in the editing room somewhere 2 years earlier. Either way, it reminded me of when I was in grade 7 and all the dudes I hung out with were into this girl who had grade 9 titties but looked like a fucking alien. I am talking a real fucking alien, with no chin, repressed eyes and horse hair. Bitch was built like a dude and probably weighed in 10 lbs more than I did. But being the 13 year old immigrant new to the school and unsure of myself or the english language, I went along with this shit. I used to obsess over this nasty bitch with the dudes in my class and thanks to all of us, this acne scab of a girl had a false sense of beauty. Now I don’t know where this thing is today, but I do know that it must have been a horrible reality check when she found out that she was a bloody shit stain on sexy later in life. I am a firm believer that ugly people need to know they are ugly to prepare themselves for the horrible society we live in. I am on a mission to let ugly people who think they are hot know the truth for the better of all people.

That said, I think the Olsen twins look fucking hot. I want to get both of them pregnant with my mouth at the same time. I want to be in on spending their hundreds of millions of dollars on luxurious things like new jogging pants and a new liver, I want to help encourage their drug addiction and eating disorders, but only after I am made beneficiary in their will. That’s the story I heard.

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