Christina Aguilera reminds me of my experience fucking a Fleshlight. I thought the Fleshlight was designed for losers who have no social skills and have never had the chance to exeperience a real cunt, so they use this rubber pussy thinking that that is what sex is like and never really knowing the difference, because the Fleshlight enables losers to remain losers. Why bother leaving the house when you can fuck a rubber pussy that other losers say is better than the real deal. Anyway, I was given a fleshlight (new) from a friend of mine (I used to have friends), he thought it would be a funny joke. So this fucking rubber pussy is sitting in my kitchen cabinet for about 3 months, because I had no real storage space in the one room hell I lived in. Everytime I go in there to grab a can of creamed corn, soup, ramen noodles, or whatever budget food I was living on, I’d see this fucking thing staring back at me. I eventually broke down on a lonely drunken night and fucked that motherfucker like I was paying it by the hour. I busted and that’s when the humilation hit. Here I am sitting with a rubber pussy full of cum and lube all over my dick. So I take it to the bathroom and wash it out lookin in the mirror at myself realizing that out of all the things I have done, all the whores I have fucked, all the drugs I have done, all the drunken nights, this was the single most humiliating experience. I threw the fleshlight back in the cupboard and 6 months later, threw it out cuz I didn’t want to have someone find it had I died in my sleep or some shit. Even though I’d be dead, I’d still be embarrassed, because you know if you find that in someone’s cabinet, you’re not thinking it’s never been used….If you’re wondering why X-Tina is like a fleshlight, you’re not alone. I have no idea where I was going with that story.

X-Tina Leaving The Ivy:

Last Week’s See Through Dress:

At Ronnie Scotts….Whatever the Fuck That Is….

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Christina Aguilera reminds me of my experience fucking a Fleshlight. I thought the Fleshlight was designed for losers who have no social skills and have never had the chance to exeperience a real cunt, so they use this rubber pussy thinking that that is what sex is like and never really knowing the difference, because the Fleshlight enables losers to remain losers. Why bother leaving the house when you can fuck a rubber pussy that other losers say is better than the real deal. Anyway, I was given a fleshlight (new) from a friend of mine (I used to have friends), he thought it would be a funny joke. So this fucking rubber pussy is sitting in my kitchen cabinet for about 3 months, because I had no real storage space in the one room hell I lived in. Everytime I go in there to grab a can of creamed corn, soup, ramen noodles, or whatever budget food I was living on, I’d see this fucking thing staring back at me. I eventually broke down on a lonely drunken night and fucked that motherfucker like I was paying it by the hour. I busted and that’s when the humilation hit. Here I am sitting with a rubber pussy full of cum and lube all over my dick. So I take it to the bathroom and wash it out lookin in the mirror at myself realizing that out of all the things I have done, all the whores I have fucked, all the drugs I have done, all the drunken nights, this was the single most humiliating experience. I threw the fleshlight back in the cupboard and 6 months later, threw it out cuz I didn’t want to have someone find it had I died in my sleep or some shit. Even though I’d be dead, I’d still be embarrassed, because you know if you find that in someone’s cabinet, you’re not thinking it’s never been used….If you’re wondering why X-Tina is like a fleshlight, you’re not alone. I have no idea where I was going with that story.

X-Tina Leaving The Ivy:

Last Week’s See Through Dress:

At Ronnie Scotts….Whatever the Fuck That Is….

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Getting a hooker to fuck you for free is easy, you just need to play on her insecurities and manipulate the shit out of her, I am not talking about manually manipulating the shit out of her, only because whores don’t shit, they are too constipated from all the drug use. Mary Kate and Ashley may not be whores, but they definitely don’t shit. Probably not because of drug use, but because they don’t eat. There is nothing wrong with a skinny girl.

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This bitch is so done up in these pictures, it makes me think I am jerking off to a painting. I don’t actually jerk off because my penis won’t let me, but I can still pretend I am a man. A couple nights ago my whore of a wife threatened to leave me because she thinks I am a fucking bum. I had to explain to her that collecting disability checks for being too fat to walk out the apartment makes her a bum too, and while speaking of bums, I told her that I was tired of lookin’ at hers and thinking of household objects that would fit in it if I really put my mind to it, because let’s face it, fat people have big anuses (ani, anus’, I don’t fucking know how to spell this). The last household insertion that I came up with was a throw pillow from the couch. I could probably be more creative, if I didn’t hate my life so much. Cuddles.

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I remember a time when I was dating a hooker of a woman, years ago. I used to see her a couple times a month, if that. It was definitely not an exclusive thing for either of us, but mainly her, because her job was pretty much to fuck men for money. She was a hooker. One night, the halfway house she was staying at wouldn’t let her in, I didn’t really ask any questions as to why, because bitch was a crackhead, and with all crackheads, she was pretty unstable. Either way, she calls me up and tells me about how she wants to come over cuz she has no place to sleep but tells me that she’s on her period and that she won’t be showing me a good time. I tried telling her that it was never a good time, even when we were banging, and that the only reason I ever agreed to see her was cuz it was better than jerking off. Having her come over on her rag meant that I wasn’t going to be banging her and that I would be stuck talking to her. What the fuck do I have to say to a crackwhore? Either way, Nicky Hilton is the tampon of the Hilton family, where as Paris is the blood stain in the family’s panties. That didn’t make sense to you did it?

Paris