2006
28
Jul
Getting a hooker to fuck you for free is easy, you just need to play on her insecurities and manipulate the shit out of her, I am not talking about manually manipulating the shit out of her, only because whores don’t shit, they are too constipated from all the drug use. Mary Kate and Ashley may not be whores, but they definitely don’t shit. Probably not because of drug use, but because they don’t eat. There is nothing wrong with a skinny girl.
Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted
2006
28
Jul
This bitch is so done up in these pictures, it makes me think I am jerking off to a painting. I don’t actually jerk off because my penis won’t let me, but I can still pretend I am a man. A couple nights ago my whore of a wife threatened to leave me because she thinks I am a fucking bum. I had to explain to her that collecting disability checks for being too fat to walk out the apartment makes her a bum too, and while speaking of bums, I told her that I was tired of lookin’ at hers and thinking of household objects that would fit in it if I really put my mind to it, because let’s face it, fat people have big anuses (ani, anus’, I don’t fucking know how to spell this). The last household insertion that I came up with was a throw pillow from the couch. I could probably be more creative, if I didn’t hate my life so much. Cuddles.
Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted
2006
28
Jul
I remember a time when I was dating a hooker of a woman, years ago. I used to see her a couple times a month, if that. It was definitely not an exclusive thing for either of us, but mainly her, because her job was pretty much to fuck men for money. She was a hooker. One night, the halfway house she was staying at wouldn’t let her in, I didn’t really ask any questions as to why, because bitch was a crackhead, and with all crackheads, she was pretty unstable. Either way, she calls me up and tells me about how she wants to come over cuz she has no place to sleep but tells me that she’s on her period and that she won’t be showing me a good time. I tried telling her that it was never a good time, even when we were banging, and that the only reason I ever agreed to see her was cuz it was better than jerking off. Having her come over on her rag meant that I wasn’t going to be banging her and that I would be stuck talking to her. What the fuck do I have to say to a crackwhore? Either way, Nicky Hilton is the tampon of the Hilton family, where as Paris is the blood stain in the family’s panties. That didn’t make sense to you did it?
Paris
Nicky
Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted
2006
28
Jul
I saw these pictures a few weeks ago, but the version I saw actually had this slag’s nipple in the pics. I have no idea where they were posted and I am too lazy to go look, but if I actually cared about you, I’d totally put them up here. This bitch is some Miss UK winner or some shit and has done some minor magazine work and some d-list TV work, like Fear Factor. I am guessing she’s trying to become a household name over here. I am also guessing that watching a bikini-clad slut on rollerblades is always hot (if you’re living in 1992 and on the set of 90210). Point of the story is that rollerblades are the gayest fucking invention the 90’s had to offer and I am not just saying that to sound like a hardcore skater(boy). It is clear that this UK slag was a little confused about what beach living was actually like, it looks like she picked up an old calendar she found at her mechanic’s garage and tried to live out the beach lifestyle those pictures portrayed. I don’t know if that made sense, but these pics remind me of a poster I had in my first apartment of some bitch rollerblading in a thong. I think it said something like “Wild Ride” or someshit. Does that make more sense than my calendar story? Good.
Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted
2006
28
Jul
Cisco Adler is an opportunist and I respect that, because I have never accomplished anything in my life. His strategy to become a famous artist is a lot like DJ AM’s. Date a celebrity and get in every fucking paparazzi pic of her automatically become a household name. Ideally, this will result in a lot of album sales. Album sales means rock shows and tours and then your long hair will serve a real purpose, instead of just looking like a cunt try-hard , you’ll be a fuckin rockstar, and when you’re a rockstar people don’t question your retarded way of dressing.
Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted
2006
28
Jul
I was just watching America’s Got Talent and this lame motherfucker just danced around the stage dropping magic tricks. He said he merged Usher with Copperfield and it was fuckin’ gay. Even David Hasselhoff thought dude was a cunt, and when a cunt like Hasselhoff gives thinks you are a cunt. you know gotta live with that shit for life. because there’s no way to blow a dis like that off. I know dude will run home and be like “what does Hasselhoff know, he’s the cunt”, but he’s when the cunt calls you a cunt, you become the asshole. Either way, Dani Minogue, the younger sluttier sister of Kylie was involved in some kind of lap dance scandal a while ago. These are the pictures. They are old.
Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted
2006
28
Jul
People think what I write is miserable, because I focus on pretty negative things. I feel bad about that. I think I should start looking at the brighter side of life. I am thinking it’s time for me to make obvious one-liners, because that’s really what people want to read. Stories of hookers, misery and depression are not funny. But like I always say, if you can’t laugh at the depressing part of life, then it’s just depressing. Once it becomes a joke it becomes comedy. So retards, stds, suicide, drug overdose, disease, poverty, addiction, impotency and anything else I write about is just to make you smile. If all else fails I post pictures of girls in bikinis to distract you from the misery. So stop complaining and start enjoying. Cuddles.
Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted
2006
28
Jul
2006
28
Jul
Here are some pics of Rhianna in shorts, showin’ off her legs. It seems to be a constant theme in her life. I can only assume that she had some sleazy uncle tell her over and over that her legs were amazing, because she’s obviously thinkin’ that her legs are the prize. Someone just told me that she’s a half-breed and thought that since I was speaking of prize, I’d mention how funny it was during colonialization of all these undeveloped countries, the rich European man had his choice of poor local women. I think that’s how Lenny Kravitz was born with a Jewish name. It is late, I am tired, this post was a definite miss….
Posted in:Rihanna|Shorts|Uncategorized|Unsorted
2006
28
Jul
Here are some pics of Rhianna in shorts, showin’ off her legs. It seems to be a constant theme in her life. I can only assume that she had some sleazy uncle tell her over and over that her legs were amazing, because she’s obviously thinkin’ that her legs are the prize. Someone just told me that she’s a half-breed and thought that since I was speaking of prize, I’d mention how funny it was during colonialization of all these undeveloped countries, the rich European man had his choice of poor local women. I think that’s how Lenny Kravitz was born with a Jewish name. It is late, I am tired, this post was a definite miss….
Posted in:Rihanna|Shorts|Uncategorized|Unsorted
