I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Archive for the Uncategorized Category

2006

07

Aug

I am – Diddy’s a Pimp of the Day

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I am watching infomercials while I write this, and it is depressing. I don’t find it depressing to be sitting on my couch, I find it depressing that I can’t afford cable when people like Diddy are fuking running around with models on beaches while rockin’ a tuxedo. The only time I ever wore a tuxedo was when I worked as a bus boy at some shitty family restaurant. I lasted about a month and got used to taking out the trash, possibly why I ended up marrying the slut I ended up with, probably the reason I got syphilis 67 times in 18 months. Now, I got some health shit going on and if what the doctor finds is cancer, I plan on using the cancer to get me to the diddy top-level. I call it the sympathy card that God gave me to use. I used to think the fat wife, the addiction, the shitty life was as low as the motherfucker would go, but the stress of all that may have caused a disease that I will use to get out of all this. This has been a depressing pos and being black in the late ’90s to early ’00s was where you wanted to be, now it’s the middle aged Mexican’s turn to be the next Hip Hop.

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2006

07

Aug

I am – Teenage Girls With Tampons of the Day

My question is pretty simple, what happened to the pad? Every bitch and her 10 year old daughter who is rockin’ her period because of hormones in food and the emotional stress caused by not having a dad, cuz he was smart and ran out on the family before the STD was born, are rocking tampons. Ladies, I am not trying to be insensitive here, I have never had a period anywhere other than my bed, and that was years ago because my fat wife is too fat to menstruate, but I could be wrong, maybe she’s menopausal or maybe she’s had a hysterectomy because of a tainted cancerous womb, I am really not that tight with her lady parts, mainly because of the amount of effort it takes to find them….Either way, girls don’t use the pad anymore and I miss the days in the 80s, where I’d be dry fuckin a bitch only to find my dick bouncing off a pillow in her panties…

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2006

05

Aug

I am – Britney Spears is Fucking Crazy of the Day

I really don’t have much to say today, other than that I haven’t been on the computer. This landed in my box all by surprise and shit and it made me feel like a whore and shit and I decided to post it and shit, cuz that’s just how I am livin’ and shit. I have been answering myspace messages for the last 2 hours and it’s a fucking waste of time…. HOWEVER… some of you people are funnier than me and should start your own sites. Cuddles.

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2006

04

Aug

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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This is my link dump, it’s better than my real dump. I rarely bring up bodily functions, but I am letting you know that these links may be shit, but they are better than a real shit. So click on them and enjoy yourself and if you have anything to submit, email me.

Jessica Simpson Nipples Again GO

Girls Farting Videos GO

Cindy Crawford Lap Dance GO

Cindy Crawford Lap Dance Video GO

Pam Anderson Lap Dance GO

Weird Striptease With Lots of Panties On GO

Here’s a Little Gisele Update GO

Nudist Video GO

Goth Girls Go Shopping For Granny Panties GO

George Bush Falls Out of a Plane GO

Dude Violates His Girl On Camera (like a pussy) GO

Jennifer Love Hewitt Takes Out Her Trash GO

British People Talk About Vulva GO

Free Magazines Make Me Smile, You Have to Sign-Up Though…GO

The Panic Channel GO

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2006

03

Aug

I am – Pink Taking a Pee of the Day

I have no fucking idea what these pictures are all about. They are supposed to be Pink taking a Piss. She’s got the tattoos so I guess it’s her. I always have a hard time pointing out Pink, because she’s fucking disgusting and I usually try to block that shit out of my head, like a molested girl blocks out being molested. I have been fighting over a cease and desist for the last 2 hours because photo agencies don’t like when you use their pictures without paying for them. Even though they are all over the fucking internet before my lazy ass gets to them. I am always surprised when I get these, because my site is a piece of shit, and I have no fucking money to pay them if I lost, and more importantly, I have 500 fucking readers. If I was the photo agency, I’d run after the bigger sites run by Jews who actually know how to make money with a blog. Either way, here’s Pink livin’ up to her trashy raving past….Whoever has the rights to this photo feel free to email me demanding I take them down. Seems to be the thing to do. Cuddles.

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2006

03

Aug

I am – Naughty Music Video of the Day

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I am glad that music video producers are finally moving a little closer to porn. Naked sluts sell records, or at least make me watch a shitty video through, because I like making sure that I see don’t miss any fucking nipple. My life is pretty dry right now, my wife is too and I take whatever naked bitch I can get, even if she’s on my computer screen. Speaking of naked bitch on my computer screen, some girl I have been talking to for a while sent me naked pics a couple days ago. Since then, she’s been bitching me out for disrespecting her and using her and all kinds of other emotional shit that I don’t respond well to. So if you’re going to get naked, or send me naked pics, let this be warning that I do not have emotions. Either way, we all know that pussy sells, and that’s why this video by Marion Raven is the Naughty Music Video of the Day…I have no idea who Marion Raven is….

Watch It Here

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2006

03

Aug

I am – Royal Slut of the Day

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I don’t know this bitch’s name, but I do know that she is banging royalty and that makes her a royal slut, which is a lot more interesting than anything else you could put the word “royal” in front of. But I only feel that way because I have a thing for social climbing whores who use their cunts to get them to the top. That’s why I am looking for love on Myspace.

As a service to you, I have decided to write a myspace message a day for you to cut and paste and send to random people. I think it would be funny to see if it gets makes any of us famous, or if it gets any of you pussy.

This is the message for today.

you are way out of my league.
but I can still jerk off to your myspace pics.
and I am.
that’ the irony of the internet.
you’d never give me the time of day in person,
but here i am practically fucking your face…
so I don’t want you to get all freaked out..
I won’t get you pregnant.
I am wearing a condom.

With Love,
YOUR NAME HERE
DrunkenStepfather.com

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2006

03

Aug

I am – Sex Doll Vacation of the Day

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People with sex dolls make me laugh, especially the motherfuckers who live a double life with their sex doll. They are usually your very fucking single socially awkward and quiet neighbor. The dude who works at your post office or as a janitor at the local elementary school. Anyway, this motherfucker who no one really pays much attention to, goes home after a day of work and once the door is shut behind him, his “real” life starts. He goes to his living room and sits next to his wife, a silicone/latex blend who weighs in at 250 lbs but looks like a porn star. Dude dresses her up, does her hair and make-up to get her ready for dinner. Dude sits and eats with her and has a conversation with her, she’s not very responsive and he likes that she doesn’t talk back. Then after dinner they go to the den to cuddle on the couch and watch TV. At 11 pm, lights out and dude drags the love of his life to his bedroom for a inanimate love making session. He likes her cuz she never says no, all positions are a go, and she’s always in the mood…after the sex dude washes his plastic wife off and falls asleep with her in his arms…..only to wake up and go back to work the next day cleaning the floors and bathrooms at your little kid’s school…..until the weekend where they go on vacation together. If the Sex Doll is lucky, she gets to drive….Weird.

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2006

03

Aug

I am – Who the Fuck is Cheyenne Kendall of the Day

The biggest joke of this site is that I really have no idea who any of the people I post about are. I am convinced that all the other celebrity sites live and breathe this shit. When they go home for Sunday Dinner, or when they go on dates with girls who are impressed by bloggers (which means UGLY girls), or when they hang out with their 2 childhood friends who still talk to them, while waiting in line for tickets to see Superman (the movie) for the 47th time while rockin’ a Superman T-Shirt (cuz you love Superman), you probably talk about what Portman, Johansson, Lohan, Hilton and all the other cliched celebs are doing. It is their life. It’s not to say that I have a life, or I have meaning, or that I do anything interesting or talk about anything interesting. I just have know nothing about the people I am writing about. This is an example of that. I even googled this cunt and found nothing.

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2006

03

Aug

I am – The Weirdest Video I Have Ever Seen of the Day

I am not in the mood to post anything, still sick, but someone emailed this to me and it’s too fucking weird to not put up on the site. It reminds me of when the internet was a place for socially awkward losers to congregate. It reminds me of mIRC where all these freakshows who had no friends in their real lives would chat with each other and create a virtual society, false sense of popularity and find equally lame people on the other side of the country to marry. It was a way to not feel so alone, cuz cool kids are jerks, and it gave the losers hope. The Internet is less lame now, cool people use it, but the losers who were the first up on this shit are still floating around…..that’s the story i heard. Now, back to bed.

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