This is like the time my friend Pavlos decided to get Laser Eye Surgery. The government offered to pay for him because it had something to do with the welfare program he was on. It was supposed to make him more hireable. He was scared of the concept, being a poor immigrant from Romania, he had no idea what Lasik was. He agreed to get it done, but the place gave him the option of doing one eye at a time, to see how it works and how it heals, and if the surgery is botched you’ll alwyas have one eye and all that shit. Victoria Beckham did the same thing, but the Tit version. I guess she wanted to test out cleavage to make sure these were the size for her or some shit. That’s the story I heard.

Bonus:

Taking Animal Print Fashion Advice from Beckham’s Tit, Brooke Hogan Keeps the State of Florida Proud by Remaining a Piece of White Stripper-lookin’ Trash…

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This is like the time my friend Pavlos decided to get Laser Eye Surgery. The government offered to pay for him because it had something to do with the welfare program he was on. It was supposed to make him more hireable. He was scared of the concept, being a poor immigrant from Romania, he had no idea what Lasik was. He agreed to get it done, but the place gave him the option of doing one eye at a time, to see how it works and how it heals, and if the surgery is botched you’ll alwyas have one eye and all that shit. Victoria Beckham did the same thing, but the Tit version. I guess she wanted to test out cleavage to make sure these were the size for her or some shit. That’s the story I heard.

Bonus:

Taking Animal Print Fashion Advice from Beckham’s Tit, Brooke Hogan Keeps the State of Florida Proud by Remaining a Piece of White Stripper-lookin’ Trash…

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I like to think I am the reason they broke up. Not because I contributed to their break-up in anyway, but because I like seeing other people’s misery and like thinking I am the cause. It makes me feel better about myself.

So, this past weekend, a SAD DJ AM played at a club called Passion. A devastated Nicole ran off with a bunch of short mexican/asian lookin’ women for a little getaway. Lucky for us, we’ve got these pics showing just how sad she really is.

Point of the story is that girls move on quicker after breaking up. Dude’s freak out lookin’ for new pussy, missing the old pussy, their lives all upside down, their routine destroyed…while girls are happy about the change…start banging many new dudes…while smiling in airports.

And if you can’t afford the 5 dollar cover charge, or if you are too homeless/ghetto/obese for the club to let you in (like me), put your iTunes on random and look at these pics fast. It’ll feel like you’re in the heart of a DJ AM party. Make sure you’ve got some Will Smith – Wild Wild West, he likes that one.

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I like to think I am the reason they broke up. Not because I contributed to their break-up in anyway, but because I like seeing other people’s misery and like thinking I am the cause. It makes me feel better about myself.

So, this past weekend, a SAD DJ AM played at a club called Passion. A devastated Nicole ran off with a bunch of short mexican/asian lookin’ women for a little getaway. Lucky for us, we’ve got these pics showing just how sad she really is.

Point of the story is that girls move on quicker after breaking up. Dude’s freak out lookin’ for new pussy, missing the old pussy, their lives all upside down, their routine destroyed…while girls are happy about the change…start banging many new dudes…while smiling in airports.

And if you can’t afford the 5 dollar cover charge, or if you are too homeless/ghetto/obese for the club to let you in (like me), put your iTunes on random and look at these pics fast. It’ll feel like you’re in the heart of a DJ AM party. Make sure you’ve got some Will Smith – Wild Wild West, he likes that one.

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Someone sent these in and I have no idea if they are of Pink. She looks like every other manly bull-dyke of a rock and roll bitch. You know short black hair, piercings, little tits. I am not saying that Pink is a lesbian or a rock bitch, but that’s sure as hell what her stylist is trying to portray. I guess it gets the part of the market that the other pop stars weren’t hitting. You know the girls too cool to like Britney and X-Tina back in the day. They’d be all like “X-tina and Britney are lame, Pink’s where it’s at.” I’d have to agree, only by Pink, I mean VAGINA.

Bonus: Pink Looking Retarded

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Someone sent these in and I have no idea if they are of Pink. She looks like every other manly bull-dyke of a rock and roll bitch. You know short black hair, piercings, little tits. I am not saying that Pink is a lesbian or a rock bitch, but that’s sure as hell what her stylist is trying to portray. I guess it gets the part of the market that the other pop stars weren’t hitting. You know the girls too cool to like Britney and X-Tina back in the day. They’d be all like “X-tina and Britney are lame, Pink’s where it’s at.” I’d have to agree, only by Pink, I mean VAGINA.

Bonus: Pink Looking Retarded

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Getting plastic surgery is a pretty fucked up situation, especially when it is drastic. I am half asleep here so I can’t find the analogy I was thinking of earlier today, but it was a good one. It had to do with how you go out pretending that nothing’s changed and that no one notices the change you are trying to hide, when people obviously know. But you still pretend it never happened, that everything is cool and the same and it is kinda like when you pissed you popped a boner during your solo performance at the highschool musical. Everyone laughed to themselves, but you just held your head up high and walked back to school the next day. That wasn’t the analogy I wanted. I keep thinking about the walk of shame a girl makes after you bang the shit out of her and she walks out of your house and onto the street in the party dress she wore the night before, but that’s not the feeling you’d get with a new face….I thought maybe it’d be like when a girl get’s her period in a pair of white pants…but that’s not it either….I really can’t remember what it was, but feel free to discuss in the comments. I think she looks good and worthy of titty fucking my face….whatever I hate myself right now. Cuddles.

Bonus: Christina Milian at the Same Summer Sizzle Event.

One More Bonus: Vanessa Minillo in a Bikini at Same Event (hot)

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Getting plastic surgery is a pretty fucked up situation, especially when it is drastic. I am half asleep here so I can’t find the analogy I was thinking of earlier today, but it was a good one. It had to do with how you go out pretending that nothing’s changed and that no one notices the change you are trying to hide, when people obviously know. But you still pretend it never happened, that everything is cool and the same and it is kinda like when you pissed you popped a boner during your solo performance at the highschool musical. Everyone laughed to themselves, but you just held your head up high and walked back to school the next day. That wasn’t the analogy I wanted. I keep thinking about the walk of shame a girl makes after you bang the shit out of her and she walks out of your house and onto the street in the party dress she wore the night before, but that’s not the feeling you’d get with a new face….I thought maybe it’d be like when a girl get’s her period in a pair of white pants…but that’s not it either….I really can’t remember what it was, but feel free to discuss in the comments. I think she looks good and worthy of titty fucking my face….whatever I hate myself right now. Cuddles.

Bonus: Christina Milian at the Same Summer Sizzle Event.

One More Bonus: Vanessa Minillo in a Bikini at Same Event (hot)

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I met a big breasted girl who knew about the site. That didn’t make her want to fuck me. It did make her want to give me advice on how I should be running things. Her advice was that I write too much and that I should only write one line. I was asked if she meant like Maxim magazine, and she giggled, her titties all up in her chin and shit, so being the pervert I am, I decided to offer her a feature on the site. The concept is that she will post her one-liners. I am hoping they end up being so bad that they are funny. If all else fails just look at her tits….that’s what I’ll be doing…. Here’s her one liner.

Karl: “u stole my hairstyle, u heiress bitch”

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