Uncategorized Archives - Page 258 of 421 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2006

26

Jan

Christina Aguilera Rolling Stone Nipple

Christina Aguilera has had breast implants, there’s not doubt about that in my mind, and I couldn’t care less. I have slept with more women with breast implants than women without implants and I prefer a natural titty any day, but my wild days were in the 90s, and in the 90s all the trashy bitches I knew had plastic titties.

The reason I know Aguilera has implants is because she parades these fuckers around town as much as possible, and that’s something only people with implants do, because the have a serious detachment from their tits, and their tits becomes accessories or toys more than part of their body. Seriously, watch flashing videos, always more implants are flashed than non-implants. The other reason I know she has implants is because her nipples aim up to the sky, and it’s so rare to find a natural tit with nipples that aim to the sky.

I don’t know why I just analyzed her tits like that, it wasn’t funny and no one cares. Just click on the pictures and leave me alone you cunt.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

26

Jan

3 Comments »

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

26

Jan

Myspace Message of the Day

6 Comments »

This is a message I sent to some bitch named Cooter. I guess she doesn’t read my site, because if she did she would know that Cooter is one of my favorite words.

I have a crush on ppl named cooter.
even if they are dirty baby factories
I want you to read my site
and we can talk about your uterus later- you fertile bitch –

love

jesus martinez
drunkenstepfather.com

Her response:

go fuck yourself

MilkGoneWild

13 Comments »

I don’t really know what to think about the way mainstream media is going. I really don’t care. I am not one of those annoying motherfuckers who talks about that kind of shit because I hate people who try to talk all smart about current events and the state of the nation and shit, no one really cares what you think, so just show me your tits, bitch. The hippies at PETA decided to do a spoof on Girls Gone Wild, where the drunken bitches flash their udders. It’s a little distrubing, only because it turned me on, and I sleep with a cow of a woman everynight, so now I want to dress her up like a cow. Thanks Peta for opening me up to this fucked up fetish I never knew I had. Hippies have done so much for me.

See Banned Ad Campaign Here

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

26

Jan

More LastNightsParty at Sundance

13 Comments »

I was talking to someone local who has had his picture taken by Merlin Bronques when he was first starting out in Montreal. Now he’s rockin’ sundance, magazine spreads and ad campaigns, but he’ll always be a bald black “Lady” in the night to me.

I have only been in this city for less than 5 years and I was never much of a club kid, considering I was 30 and a washed up addict when I got here, oh and was was all smitten with my fresh marriage to a 300 pound women, that was clearly something I had always wanted for myself as a little wrestler in the orphanage, I’d tell my priest/coach “Pablo, one day I will go to Canada and marry the fattest bitch I can find”. So, whenever I could get away from the wife, I would spend my nights in the strip clubs and in the later years of Montreal, I’ve been busy working at the canning factory. Now that I am two months unemployed, there’s no way for me to afford going out and more importantly I rarely shower or do laundry and clubs just won’t let me in.

The plan is to just stick to the bottle and the gutter outside my house, if you can even call it a fucking house, but this isn’t about me, this is about Perez Hilton from PageSixSixSix and PerezHilton blog fame, motherfucker is chillin’ at that Tiger shoe house with A-listers Jack Osborne, Lizzie Grubman and Corey Feldman. You’ve fucking made it, you fruit boot wearing celebrity fucking homo, I’d rim your ass all night to get a link on your real successful piece of shit celebrity blog. Maybe one day I’ll invite you and trent and justjared and cityrag and socialitelife and defamer and gawker and idontlikeyouthatway and wwtdd and I don’t know who the fuck else has a celebrity blog, but those cunts are invited too, invited to what you ask?? To suck my limp dick, I’m impotent fuck.

With Love,
Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Check out the Onitsuka Tiger House Party at Sundance Gallery Here

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2006

23

Jan

Another Pheromone Update

24 Comments »

All you haters just don’t understand. I am setting up this Pheromone Challenge to encourage you to leave your house for a fucking change and meet some people with vaginas. I am not doing this to scam you or to rip you off, like people think. I have said from day one that I don’t fully think it works, I am skeptical as shit, so I decided that we as a collective should put it to the test and share our stories. It forces us to leave our day to day life and hustle bitches with a camera and we will post these stories on this site. If you don’t want to be part of the game, that’s cool, but calling me a scammer is bullshit. When I used to sell drugs, I never cut it with glass or lactose, I would pride myself on having the best stock. I am not a good person at all, but I am also not out to rip anyone off. I just want all you motherfuckers to have some fucking fun.

Now here is my story from ski country. If you watched my useless video you will know that I went to a bar at some ski hill. If you read my last pheromone update, you will know that I am rockin’ a bottle of this shit everytime I go out.

So I meet this dude at the bar ordering a beer, he was solo too. I ask him what his story is and complain about how shitty the bar is. He came down with his parents and left his girlfriend at home for a weekend. I tell him that I have a spray that’s supposed to attract women and challenge him to go up to that girl who can’t dance. He takes me up on the challenge and ends up making out with her a little in the bar. They let me take a couple of pics, but I was wasted, and realize how much they suck.

The other thing that sucks is that the girl’s not so hot, the situation was in the dude’s favor, it was 2:45 am, I call girls like this “table scraps”. Either way, he did just meet her, and they did end up leaving together. So I guess it all worked out for him. More than I can say for you, unless jerking off to amateur porn counts as getting laid by a real girl, you fucking waste of space, cunt.

Get it On With Us

Posted in:stepPHEROMONECHALLENGE|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

19

Jan

Pherlure Update 5

2 Comments »

Dear Jesus,

I read your site daily, sometimes multiple times a day. I think your site is some of the most pimpin shit on the internet. I decided to take you up on your pheromone challenge, because I thought it would be funny to see if it works or not, and because I want to support what you do.

I ended up getting it in the mail a couple of days ago and the first thing I did was spray it on and go out to one of the bars near my university. I ended up meeting this girl, chattin’ her up and making out with her. I brought her home and had a wild fuckin’ night, or night of fuckin’.

I refuse to admit this was only because of the pherlure, since I am a pretty hot stud of a man. HAHA. But I do know that I got laid the first night I used it.

I couldn’t get you pics of us fucking or making out, that would have been too obvious, but the girl insisted on doing my laundry the next day, and I wouldn’t let that happen without getting a couple of shots for you.

Hope you like em!!

I will send you more stories and better pics and keep up the good work, you ROCK!!

Sorry dude, I won’t suck your dick, pheromones or not. You have to be the biggest suck up I’ve ever got an email from, and the girl probably slept with you, cuz you wouldn’t stop telling her how pretty she is, you fuckin’ homo. Thanks for the submission and go get me more pics. I will admit that I laughed when I saw her doing your laundry. That shit is classic.

All you people who don’t know what’s going on, you can read what this pheromone challenge in all about.

By Clicking Here To Read Previous Update

If any of you wanna get involved read the pheromone review here

If you want the shit I’m gonna use to score the syph – buy it here

Posted in:stepPHEROMONECHALLENGE|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

16

Jan

Photobucket Girl of the Day

9 Comments »

There is nothing more rewarding that surfing through photobucket and finding a girl’s account that probably should have been set as private. You know the kind where girls get all webcam whorish and take 100’s of pics of themselves posing in their underwear. I don’t think this girl is all that hot, but I do think what she does is. This is a call to all the ladies who read this site to start taking naughty pics and sending them my way.

More Pics After the Jump