Single people make me laugh, not because I laugh at other people’s misfortunes, which I do, but because they get so damn desperate. I am not talking hookers, because there is nothing wrong with that shit, it’s just capitalism, bitch has something you need, and with everything comes a price, whether it is time or money, so when a lazy man comes along, with a little extra money burnin a hole in his wallet, hiring pussy is not wrong. However, when you make vacation plans around hookers, you may have a bit of a problem, I am thinking maybe all your friends are married and have kids, with no interest in bringing their weird chronic masturbater along for their family trip to Disneyland, so you take it upon yourself to rock out at some whore infested beach resort, fucking different girls everynight, feeling like a fucking star…all I gots to say to that is fantastic great times, but you are definitely no star, and I won’t go into why you aren’t one, because I don’t want to push anyone to suicide…even when it is a great option for many.

Visit the site HERE

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The other day I was watching TV at my girlfriend’s house, and turned to the Discovery Channel in hopes of seeing people getting eaten by sharks. What do I get instead of bloody shark death? FIT-TV.

FIT-TV has no business on the discovery chanel, it should be on The Comedy Network. Once i started watching it, I couldnt get past the fact that there are hundreds of women, accross the country, jumping around in thier living rooms to some homo in bicycle shorts. Perhaps i am just jealous because this motherfucker has a TVshow, biceps, and a tropical backdrop, but I dont think so.

I think people who workout all the time are lame. Do they think it will get them laid? I weigh 140 soaking wet, and have a hard time carrying groceries to my car. However, my girlfriend is hot, and we have sex…on weekends…when its dark…and shes drunk. My point is, to quote fight club, “self improvment is just masturbation, but self destruction…now that takes a real man”.

So heres to drinking, smoking, drug abuse and having sex with hot chicks.

Team Fuck – Supporting The Little Guy.

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There is something amazing about breast feeding, I think it mainly has to do with the fact that I am a huge fan of dressing up like a baby and sucking on my wife’s tits, soiling my diaper, and having her change me while telling me how I am such a good little boy. I think this is also because I was neglected as a child, I don’t think I was breast fed at all and if I was, it was probably of poor quality. My mom was a crack addicted prostitute, I can’t imagine crack addict breastmilk having all the essential nutrients needed for baby to develop into an normal person. I have read stories that crack babies are born addicted, I guess I am lucky that I have no addictions, I only drink 26er of Jack and smoke a pack a day, dabble in various forms of drugs, mainly prescription pills, but I do it all recreationally, I guess I like recreation more than you do.

This is a video clip of some perverted, hungry baby and it gave me a great mid-afternoon erection.

Watch The Video Here

via WTFPEOPLE

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Nobody cares, enough with the celeb nudity, it is boring, it’s not very riveting, it doesn’t stimulate any form of meaningful conversation, there are more important things going on to worry about a nipple… I expect more out of myself…it is a cheap way to get useless traffic (I am talking to you)….that said a couple more pics after the jump

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Bikini waxes are so played out it is not even funny. Everyone knows that the real hipsters are going back to their roots and keeping it real with bush, and hipsters are always right, thanks to them cocaine is popular again. There is nothing cool about having the same haircut as all your friends, so why do you want the same motherfucking pussyhair style as every girl. There is an element of excitment that comes when you see a girl in nothing but booty shorts with a plentiful bush showing through the top. I personally love the way it fills them out, like a magical pillow.

Bikini waxes are the equivalent of breast implants of the 90s, girls are rocking the shit because they are misinformed, they have been conditioned to hate hair because society tells them it’s gross, much like small tittied bitches hated their racks back in the day because it made them feel inadequate. There is nothing sexier than running my fingers through a nice long bush, it’s more exciting for me than petting my dog and I fucking live for that shit. For the record, this bitch is disgusting!

CLICK HERE FOR GALLERY FOOL

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Surface piercings make no sense to me, I remember when I was young, we used to get bored in class and shove sharp pencil’s through the skin our arms, but that was back when pencils were actually made of lead, none of this non-toxic graphite pussy shit. I have no idea how today’s youth is gonna man up, parents are so damn protective…not smoking in front of them, bike helmets, no trans fats, dude that’s the shit we were made of and some of us are still alive, and not all of us produced flipper babies when that joyous time came…anyway kids are getting surface piercings, because they are not different enough as it is and they need to prove through extreme body mods that they are their own person. I am not complaining, these are amazing for tying a bitch to something or hanging her off the ceiling… That’s my fucking story and if you didn’t laugh, it’s cool, because I get enough kicks laughing at you…

Via SexBlo.gs

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So Lindsay has been a busy little celebrity coke fiend the last couple of weeks, good thing she’s got the cocaine to fuel her, otherwise I don’t know how she would pull it off. She has changed her hair on us, she has had her lips jacked up, her house has been broken in to, and I guess the list goes on an on. Throughout all these major tunring points in her recent life, she has still had the time to get to the clubs and red-carpet events to feed her need to be seen. Point of the post is that Lindsay’s alive and kicking, and as the home of Lohan I had to deliver, even if the picture isn’t really an upskirt. I know all you weirdos have the ability to imagine…I am pretty sure that’s the foundation of your sex life. Without your imagination how could you possibly believe there is hope?

LATEST: LINDSAY LOHAN is convinced a so-called friend is behind the recent break-in at her Los Angeles home.

The MEAN GIRLS star was the victim of burglars while she was filming in New York earlier this month (APR05).

The criminals took more than $10,000 (GBP5,300) worth of electronic equipment, including two TV sets and a DVD player – and the actress is convinced she has some untrustworthy friends, who may know more about the robbery than they’re telling the authorities.

She says, “I’ve been marking my money lately because I had a friend who was stealing from me.”

Via contactMusic

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People say that large penised individuals aren’t social conscious people because they are too busy grabbing thier crotches and pulling their dicks out in public for innocent girls on the public transit line to enjoy. I guess force feeding people your penis is not always greeted with open arms, but you know when they grow up, hit puberty and find a penis of their own – your large penis will be branded in their minds…who am I kidding, you aren’t well-endowed, otherwise you’d be out getting pussy and not sitting here writing posts, I mean…reading posts….Anyway, I like to go to the Large Penis Support Group to see what’s up and this riveting conversation was started…and this is what he had to say….never trust middle school teachers with your children….

AFTER THE JUMP….

I am a retired teacher. I will later posts my opinions.

There is a middle school for fifth and sixth graders. There is a seven period scheule with five minutes between classes. It is a very large campus covering two large buildings in themselves.

The principal has a rule that all restroom going has to occur during those five minute changing times. No exceptons. Teachers allowing students to go to the restroom during class are written up. Three write ups get a teacher fired. The principal explained in the “all student and staff assembly” that if a student couldn’t wait during class he “would have to use the restroom in his pants.” All the teachers say that to their students. And the write up rule is known by the students.

Just the other day a sixth grade girl did have an emergency. The teacher explained to her in front of the entire class that she realized that she had an emergency but she would have to use the restroom in her pants because that is the rule. The girl sat there and cried and pleaded before she had an accident in class. The whole class knew it was going to happen and they knew that the teacher had no say in the matter at all.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS AS A POLICY? AND WHAT WERE THE RESTROOM RULES IN YOUR SCHOOL AND WHAT WERE THE CONSEQUENCES. GOOD OR BAD?

DO RULES LIKE THIS ENHANSE LEARNING IN THE CLASSROOM?

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Remember Baywatch, I know you do!!! You used to sit at home every saturday night to watch a bunch of women run around in their bathing suits. It’s not your fault you weren’t invited to that party. I would like to take this minute to blame Baywatch for the commercializing of breast implants, every bitch on this shit was an ex-stripper, and every ex-stripper has a certain augmented body part that helped them meet their quotas every month, by quotas I mean enough money to support their coke addictions. I would go as far to say as getting casted on Baywatch was the dream many of them had as they layed in bed thinking of what tomorrow has to bring. Gena Lee Nolin was one of those strippers, and she actually made it, big rubber titties and all. Here are some pics of slut at the beach, topless for all you motherfuckers to get a glimpse of her in all her glory. This is nothing new to all you motherfuckers who gave her 10 dollars for a lap dance, but it may be new to others….

More pics after the jump

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So have you ever been in a situation where you just finger-banging, or as my refined friends call it, “Digitizing”, a dirty slag and you realize that your hand is burning and all swollen and shit?! I like to call that split finger fun and it usually ends up with some type of infection or disease, but dude admit finger-banging that chick was worth it, it made you feel like a man, especially considering you made her cum once. My advice is to keep the twiddling to a minimum and spend less time trying to please her, she is never gonna call you back either way, why give her a release when there’s nothing in it for you. Straight motherfucker, keep your split fingers to your dirty self and if you must take that step in your sexual relationship, bust out a surgical glove because there is nothing hotter. Just tell her “this is gynecology…bitch”…..By the way, or BTW for those in the know, this is an ugly shirt and there is nothing cool about baseball, despite what your friends may say.

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