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Archive for the Unsorted Category

2007

01

Mar

I am – Lohan's Dumpy Ass Goes to Stripping Class of the Day

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Here are some pics of Lohan on her way to stripper class wearing the dumpiest pair of jeans I have ever seen on a woman. She reminds me of the Walmart clerk who was giving me the sex eyes when I was buying a box of condoms, a roll of duct tape, some rope, a Kenny G CD, an electric drill and 14 pairs of women’s panties of varying sizes a few years ago. I was only doing it as a joke because I was convinced someone would call the cops, but they didn’t….it was before I found the internet and fucking with people was so much more labor intensive….

Either way, Lohan’s jeans may have cost her more than my apartment costs in rent for 6 months, but if I ever got to a strip club and a bitch wearing that elemantary school teacher with 8 kids at home look, I’d totally take her for a lap dance, because I take what I can get, even when it comes to strippers. I think I may be the only person who has been turned down for strippers even after waving crumpled up, shit stained 5 dollar bills in front of their faces…

I can’t help but tell myself that this slut is wearing some sexy lingerie under these pant, but I realize that’s just fantasy talking. It happens sometimes…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Unsorted

2007

01

Mar

I am – Christina Aguilera in Concert of the Day

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Here are some pictures from Christina Aguilera’s tour. I am pretty sure that I have expressed my serious like for this slut because she is pretty open about being a slut. Whether it’s talking about spending the day naked or talking about her husbands massive cock that she loves or whether she’s rockin’ a pair of panties showing off her fake pierced tits, she always brings the goods. She’s one of those popstars who’s video you can jerk off to, but that’s not saying much, you’ve probably jerked off to 90 percent of MTV’s videos, not because they are hot, but because your retardation makes it hard for you to pull your hand away from you dick, chronic masturbator….

The other thing I like about Christina Aguilera is that she dates and marries ugly looking motherfuckers. Sure her Jew is richer than most people, but I am sure that’s got nothing to do with her wanting him up inside her. She’s got enough money to pay the phone bill so it’s safe to say that she’s got no taste and a celebrity with no taste works for me because it increases my chances of hanging out with them…

I know I’ve mentioned this to you before, but I am going to say it again, when Aguilera first hit the scene I bet a dude in the park that I’d bang her before I died. The chances of that happening are pretty slim because my obesity, sedentary lifestyle and horrible diet, my years of substance abuse and my new found love for cigars means my time is running out, but I still believe the dream, cuz without dreams we’re nothin’

I once dreamt that I had sex with a homeless woman for a home cooked meal and a shower and I kept that dream going for about a day before actually going out there and propositioning the better looking ones…and having my way with them….Which goes to show you that dreams do come true….

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Unsorted

2007

01

Mar

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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My site still sucks. I left to take my stepdaughter to the dollar cinema because it was her Valentine’s Day Gift. It cost me 2 dollars so don’t think I am rollin’ in it cuz I am takin’ my girls to luxurious places the whole night cost me $2. One the way I came across a solid Daydream video as I watched some homeless lookin’ motherfucker digging through the bags outside the Salvation Army. That homeless lookin’ motherfucker was me. When I got home, if you can call this rat hole a home, I saw that the site was down and it made me cry on the inside. You’d think after 5 days of hell, I be able to deal with it, but it’s just a constant struggle.

On a positive note the stripper who I tried pimping out for a date about a month ago and who blocked me from IM about a day less than a month ago, messaged me to tell me the site wasn’t working for her. It’s nice to see this crisis bringing people together. It’s like the tsunami in this motherfucker…now stop trying to steal my jokes.

Here are my links…CUDDLES.

Anna Nicole Smith’s Death Certificate Hits The Net Hours After It Is Released…
GO

Mardi Gras 2007 Video
GO

Girl Spraying Random Things in Her Mouth
GO

Nicole Graves and Her Solid Tits
GO

Some Hot Naked Posing Chick Named Maria
GO

Carli Banks on the Beach
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Topless Parade
GO

Sandwich VIdeo of the Day
GO

New Fashion Trend
GO

Orgasm Picture of the Day
GO

Black Foot Fetish VIdeo
GO

Tara Reid and Bai Ling Picture of the Day
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Demonic Wedding
GO

Another College Foot Fetish Video
GO

Some Milla Jovovich Pictures for You to Remember Who She Is
GO

Some Australian Feet
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Fake Dead Pics of Anna Nicole Smith
GO

Breast Suckin’ 101 is the Worst Youtube Video I’ve Ever Seen
GO

Some GIrl Demonstrating Her Friend’s Orgasm
GO

Drunk Guy Falls Off Stairs
GO

New Fashion Trend
GO

Emotional Eating Video
GO

Hannah Gets a Mouthful of Dan
GO

Joe Suckin’ Tit VIdeo
GO

Joe and Some Fat Chicks the Sequel
GO

Kelly Clarkson Video Impersonation By a Hipster
GO

Fake American Apparel shoot
GO

Fake American Apperl Shoot 2
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Fake American Apparel Shoot 3
GO

Fake American Apparel Shoot 4
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

John Travolta Dancing on Ellen
GO

I’d Fuck Sophie Monk as Long as She Keeps the Bluetooth In
GO

Pete Doherty Feeds the Penguins and I’m not Talkin’ About Kate Moss’ Cunt
GO

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

28

Feb

I am – Jennifer Aniston Throwback Bikini Pics of the Day

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My site’s been down for 5 days, but I still post. I have nothing better to do like that. I haven’t got new email in about 3 days, it just goes to show you how easily people give up on you when your site doesn’t work, not that you’d know because you don’t have a website, you just have a lot of time on your hand….So, I guess I know how Aniston feels now that he ex-husband left her for a hotter piece of ass and her last boyfriend left her for a box of donuts and pack of cigarettes. It’s all really just hearsay and by hearsay I mean my insanity. I don’t have any inside scoop, I just make it all up, but you read it, so you’re really the weird one here…actually you don’t, you just look at the pics like a retarded kid at the library…

That’s the post.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

28

Feb

I am – Lohan on the Set of Her Stripper Movie of the Day

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The whole Lohan in rehab story depressed me because I like my bitches sedated, it makes them a lot easier to deal with when I tell them that I just fucked their sister, not that that’s ever really happened to me. But my friend RayRay, who has serious mental issues and brain damage from doing too many drugs when he was younger told me a story about how he fucked two sisters. They were siamese twins that he met at some rehab center when he had his foot amputated. He did the one he had a thing for one night while drunk but kept sticking his fingers in the other one who was trying to sleep while her sister whored out. RayRay is a hero in this story, most guys aren’t desperate enough to ignore the fact that they were siamese twins, but you aren’t…it’s okay to be lonely.

EIther way, here is Lohan lookin like a dumpy piece of shit on the set of her movie where she plays a stripper. Obviously a foreshadow of what is to come and her prior addiction has given her the skills needed to let me grab her tits for 10 dollars. Let’s watch the demise, it’s a more interesting than American Idol.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

28

Feb

I am – Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen in Paris of the Day

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I am listening to french rap in honor of these sluts. They are in France right now because it is Fashion Week. It’s just an example of the luxury being a little rich kid offers. I remember a couple of months ago this high end stripper came to town for a special show, I don’t remember what her name was but the show cost about 10 dollars to see and I couldn’t pull it off because I am poor. It was just down the street from where I am living so you can imagine how pissed off I was when I saw these whores galavanting around the world like they are important or some shit.

On a side note, I read that they made 40,000,000 dollars this year, that’s a lot of shitty quality K-Mart smut peddling to tween girls…I tried peddling smut at K-Mart years ago, but it just got me arrested.

You’d think that having 40,000,000 dollars, would give you the luxury of buying a pair of pantyhose that doesn’t make you look like a streeth whore, but reality is that looking like a beaten down street whore is sexy and if I had 40,000,000 dollars, I would still rock my soiled sweatpants, they are pretty much a part of me. Literally. (admit you love literally jokes)

On another sidenote, I remember a time when these cunts were underage and every motherfucker except for me were all up on their shit counting the days down to legality, like they really had a chance to ever stuff them like a turkey. Either way, I never quite understood that fantasy, there are way hotter underage girls who are poor and have daddy issues who would totally let you tell them what to do and let you do whatever you want to them. Rich girls are too hard to deal with, aim lower motherfucker.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

28

Feb

I am – Tori Spelling is Pregnant of the Day

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I was at some hip hop karaoke event tonight because some asshole I know was trying to videotape it. He’s not actually an asshole, he’s done some nice things for me, like told me that my site sucks and refused to do video shoots for it, but he still brought me out with him and even gave me a lift home and bought me 6 beers, it was 2 for one night and I am all about being a mooch because I feel like you mooch off of me everyday, even though I don’t know what you are mooching, it’s kinda like a leech sucking the blood out of a fag with AIDS….

Either way the shit was low budget, the dude who hosted it was named Guido and was more of a Bar Mitzvah type of entertainer than a thug and he was rockin’ the running man and dropping really bad stand-up comedy which is funnier than good stand up comedy where I am from….Lots of dudes went up on stage and tried rapping. The lyrics were pretty lowtech and printed on paper and not on a screen so I felt like I was watching highschool science fair presentations….without the hot highschool uniforms.

Point of this was to say this hot slut was dancing around like a fool and I was watching her because I am a pervert. From the back she was banging then I went back to drinking and saw her from the front and she was banging. I sat back down and looked up and she was about 3 feet thick. I didn’t understand it, slim from the front, hot from the back and a fat ass from the site. It was like bitch was a fridge box or someshit….and it made me sad.

Here are some pics of preggers Tori Spelling looking like shit from the front, back and the side..and that’s my review of tonight’s activities. One of my best posts yet, I don’t care what you think….and obviously either does Tori, bitch found out she was knocked up and was like “finally the chance to eat all the fucking ice cream I can find”…I’d still fuck her, but I like girls who I know let dudes dump inside them….

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

28

Feb

I am – Eliza Dusku’s Hot Ass Video of the Day

This is a video of Eliza Dushku’s ass in a thong. It’s all compressed weird and you’re just going to have to deal with it because this is drunkenstepfather and it’s not an internet place for quality….it’s actually not a real life place for quality either. I dropped my ashtray on the ground 5 days ago because I wanted to see how long it would take my wife to clean it up…and the shit is still all over the motherfucking room, only now there are footprints through it. I should have realized that bitch is too fat to bend over, her knees will give out or someshit, but it’s just an example of the conditions I have to put up with, so a little outdated clip of some celebrities ass shouldn’t look so bad…at least it doesn’t in my eyes and I guess that’s all that counts because I hate you.

Here are some more old pics of her adjusting her tit, because let’s face it, I am a fan of tits because I hate you…

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

28

Feb

I am – Eliza Dusku's Hot Ass Video of the Day

This is a video of Eliza Dushku’s ass in a thong. It’s all compressed weird and you’re just going to have to deal with it because this is drunkenstepfather and it’s not an internet place for quality….it’s actually not a real life place for quality either. I dropped my ashtray on the ground 5 days ago because I wanted to see how long it would take my wife to clean it up…and the shit is still all over the motherfucking room, only now there are footprints through it. I should have realized that bitch is too fat to bend over, her knees will give out or someshit, but it’s just an example of the conditions I have to put up with, so a little outdated clip of some celebrities ass shouldn’t look so bad…at least it doesn’t in my eyes and I guess that’s all that counts because I hate you.

Here are some more old pics of her adjusting her tit, because let’s face it, I am a fan of tits because I hate you…

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

28

Feb

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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I guess the biggest fucking joke in all this is that people are telling me the reason my site keeps crashing is because I have too many readers. I guess the reality behind this joke that makes it funny is that I really only have 15 people who actually read what I write. The rest of you just come for the pictures and to jerk off.

I am not crying for attention, I am just crying for a site that works, because I know when I wake up at noon tomorrow the motherfucker will be down again…

If I had as much traffic as people are telling me, I would have been able to afford some fucking dinner for my family tonight. Instead it was Ramen Noodles. My wife at 10 packs, it’s not her fault she’s got a lot of woman to feed and that’s the end of this post.

Here are my links….

Wolfgang Puck Gives His Guest Hepatitis. I give My guests herpes. We’d make a solid team…
GO

Responsible Dad Video
GO

Sophie Anderton Nude in Loaded Magazine
GO

Some Porn Clip Called Swedish Stable Girls – I am Not a Porn Site
GO

Some Virtual Porn Video – Weird Concept – I am Not a Porn Site.
GO

Some Chick I’ve Never Heard Of’s See Through Dress
GO

Some Nicole Kidman Working Out Video
GO

Some Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Some Kate Playground Topless
GO

Mahala Rain Dallas Erotica…
GO

Some Wheelchair Stunts
GO

Some Christina Ricci and Justin Timberlake Sex Video
GO

Some Stupid Prank Video
GO

Some Top Gear Action about an Old Man Drivin into Train….
GO

Rose McGowan Showing Off Her Leg at the Oscar Party
GO

Baby in a Bucket of Water Action
GO

Some Celebrity Look Alikes for Rent
GO

Some BBC Video about How It’s the End of the World…Finally.
GO

Some Pictures of Indians in Action
GO

Porto Potty Video
GO

A little Cobrasnake Nipple Action
GO

Some Jenna Jameson Before She Looked Like She Got Hit By a Bus
GO

A Reminder of what Jenna Jameson Looks Like Now That She’s Been Hit by a Bus
GO

Some Slut Who Give Sex Advice
GO

Some Porn Called Anal Pleasures
GO

Women of the 70s vs Women of Today. A Shitty Article for My Shitty Readers
GO

Home Birth in Doggystyle Position
GO

Animals on the Red Carpet
GO

Some Czech He’d Like To Bounce Named Karolina Kurkova
GO

Some SI South African Model Named Lieschen Botes
GO

American Hipster in Paris
GO

A Dad Assists in the Birth of His Child
GO

Street Skate Session Ever Video
GO

Home Birth Part One – Sexy
GO

Some More Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Australian Hot Tub Party
GO

Leelee Sobiesky Naked Screencap of the Day
GO

New Sport that is Better than Bungee Jumping Video
GO

Vida Guera Red Carpetting It… Lookin’ Like Shit
GO

Birth of Ronald Video
GO

Amazingly Hot Lima Pics from a While Ago. She May Be Brazilan, But She Isn’t a Tranny
GO

Dude From Oasis FIght
GO

Shakira Is Covered in Dirt GIFs
GO

Do the Robot Video
GO

Olsen Twins Lookin’ Hot
GO

The Arrival of Kamal William
GO

Fiat Hostess at a Car Show With No Panties…
GO

Spray To Get Pussy – You Need It
GO

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted