Post pregnancy pictures are really fucking amazing. I remember asking a dirty piece of shit hipster who had a kid for before and after pictures of her box, then her bi-sexual boyfriend tried to cause shit with me. I remember when I was in a serious relationship before this whole marrying a fat chick phase of my life and she got pregnant. It was the closest time I came to being a father. We had some pretty important life talks about whether to keep the baby or not, then when we decided to keep the baby, we both decided to clean up our acts and stop the drinking and drugs. I got a job and found us a great new place to live. We decorated the nursery and decided we were going to finally be normal. I remember thinking how badly I wanted her to get a C-section to keep the goods in-tact, but she ended up getting in a car accident, losing the baby and leaving me for the lawyer that represented her case….That’s when a shattered me turned to drugs….Kinda like Denise Richards in these pics.

I don’t even thing she’s doing bumps and if she is, good for her, when I was an addict I couldn’t afford blow and would have died to have a lifestyle that allowed me to rip lines in paradise with the one I love. I guess all there is to say about these pics is that this bitch has made it.

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I got this email for someone who I assume reads this site. I am going to call him reader 12, because I think he’s emailed me before. We’re up to about 16 now but that’s not the point….

HEY JESUS,

LOOK @ THIS HOMO TO THE LEFT OF MRS HURLEY….LAST TIME I LOOKED, I THOUGHT WOMEN WERE THE ONLY ONES WHO GOT TRAMP STAMPS ON THEIR LOWER BACKS!

I am not really an authority on this shit, but I can assume that anyone who works at a model is a little ‘MO. I don’t really care whether a dude has a tattoo on his lower back or not and I probably wouldn’t have even noticed it if it wasn’t sent in to me. I am not about rip into someone about what gender they fuck, just as long as they give facials. I figure that at least they are getting laid, unlike you, virgin or me, impotent.

I will say that the gay I don’t like is DJ AM Gay, where a talentless fat dude becomes a celebrity DJ because he was in a shitty band that sang about butterflies. That’s gayer than male “tramp stamps” and by probably the only thing Gayer than Bicycle Shorts….

Here’s a weak 40 year old semi-nip slip from Liz Hurley’s slutty shirt.

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I got this email for someone who I assume reads this site. I am going to call him reader 12, because I think he’s emailed me before. We’re up to about 16 now but that’s not the point….

HEY JESUS,

LOOK @ THIS HOMO TO THE LEFT OF MRS HURLEY….LAST TIME I LOOKED, I THOUGHT WOMEN WERE THE ONLY ONES WHO GOT TRAMP STAMPS ON THEIR LOWER BACKS!

I am not really an authority on this shit, but I can assume that anyone who works at a model is a little ‘MO. I don’t really care whether a dude has a tattoo on his lower back or not and I probably wouldn’t have even noticed it if it wasn’t sent in to me. I am not about rip into someone about what gender they fuck, just as long as they give facials. I figure that at least they are getting laid, unlike you, virgin or me, impotent.

I will say that the gay I don’t like is DJ AM Gay, where a talentless fat dude becomes a celebrity DJ because he was in a shitty band that sang about butterflies. That’s gayer than male “tramp stamps” and by probably the only thing Gayer than Bicycle Shorts….

Here’s a weak 40 year old semi-nip slip from Liz Hurley’s slutty shirt.

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It’s Superbowl weekend and what better way to celebrate it than by sending some useless Entertainment Tonight reporter to some celebrity Superbowl promotional event. I know I am not the target market for the Superbowl, because I am not American and because I hate sports, but even if this bitch was doing this in a micro-bikini, I’d have no interest in watching it on TV.

I do have an interest in posting the pictures of the event, but I haven’t really figured out why. That’s enough of this.

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I understand why Christina Aguilera is rockin’ the Jewish outfit of the day. She’s married to a Jewish rich guy and I am guessing she had to convert to make that shit happen, not that she needs his money, but rumor has it that he thanked his parents at his wedding for giving him a huge dick. Christina is one of those girls who needs a dude with a big dick. You can tell by her latina stance that she can take more cock that your local chicken farmer. She’s bow-legged cuz her vagina is so big, it gets in the way of standing like a normal person.

Speaking of big penis, I tried luring the stripper into banging one of my friends. I told her that he had a huge cock, when she asked how I knew, I told her he was in porn, thinking that since she’s a stripper, she’d dig a fellow sex trade person. Anyway, she asked for samples of his work, sent her big dick porn videos and now she’s all into him…She’s probably going to be disappointed, but at least has access to that ass cuz it’s not like she’ll kick him out once his dick is in her mouth…

Point of all this is to say that, if you want to get a girl, just send her big dick porn…If you’re wondering why I call this outfit the Jewish outfit, you’ll have to check this Olsen Post , Lohan Post and Trachtenberg Post . They are probably not good, but it’s where I coined the term. Submit that to wikipedia asshole…

Bonus: Mena Suvari pics rockin’ a Jewish Outfit of the Day

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I am guessing Fergie is on her period. She’s using her hand to adjust her tampon through her pants and wearing red just in case she spills out of her panties. I know most of you call her a tranny, and trannies can’t get their periods, even when they are post op, but I think she’s got a good body and I’d still stuff her like a Thanksgiving Turkey had I be given the opportunity. I would even do that shit without a rubber while on her rag after taking off her protective red pants, but when you’re impotent the need to fuck is so strong that everyone looks good.

When I was in highschool, I always wanted to witness the white pant period disaster. I once heard a story of a girl, the biggest loser in the school, who is probably now rich to the tits and bangin’ because that’s how irony works, but she apparently had her period in a pair of white pants and didn’t realize. She got out of her chair leaving a puddle behind and looking like she just got shot. One of the jocks pointed and started screaming how nasty she was and she ran to the bathroom crying. Since she lived far away from school she was forced to wear a garbage back the rest of the day. I didn’t see it first hand, so I don’t know if it really happened, but what I do know is that if you scroll down a bit, you will see some Fergie Pics…in red pants…because she’s on the rag….and she doesn’t want any spills. That’s the story I heard.

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Denise Richards losing her tits is like Aretha Franklin losing her voice. Her career was solely based on those fuckers and I remember them being full and plentiful. Tits that you could feed ethopia with, and even if she wasn’t in the mood to feed the ethiopians, they could still jerk off to her. I don’t know if their mal-nourished bodies would have the ability to cum, I used to have enough trouble busting when I was on a meth binge and hadn’t eaten in 2 days, when these fuckers haven’t eating anything but sand in months….I guess maybe they’d have an old man orgasm where nothing more than a little dust cloud fills the air around their crotch. I would suggest that she stay away from that dust cuz I heard 80 percent of African seed is infected, even in it’s Ethopian dust form.

I don’t really know what I am talking about, but I do know that Richards’ has over-compensated to get her old body back after the pregnancies because her career relied on it, and now she’s lookin more and more like a dude than the bitch you all probably still jerk off too…Wild Things over and over, I went through this yesterday….Fuck you.

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I have been getting some fan emails lately, which is really weird for me because I have been doing this for the last 2 years and only got hate mail. It shattered my non-existant self esteem and made me feel more worthless than I am, and now all of a sudden, I am getting girls asking me to send them pictures of me cuz they think I am funny and want to see what I look like. They all say “I am shallow like that”.

I don’t know what it’s so hard to believe that I am ratty, I don’t wash, I am obese, and I wear soiled jogging pants. I don’t always brush my teeth, I rarely get off the couch and I am an expert sitter. I don’t have pictures on the internet, I don’t want to have pictures posted on the internet. One day, some asshole who knows me will probably post pictures of me on the internet, and that asshole will be hunted down and shot, so until you start sending me nude pics of you, cuz I am shallow too, don’t ask me for pics of me.

On that note, I found a new way to start an IM conversation….

drunkNstepfather
I just came all over myself for you

Christelle
what?

drunkNstepfather
Oops…wrong window…
Pretend you didn’t get that…

Christelle
Too late.

Here are today’s links…I was told I post too many, so I may be cutting it down to 10 a day. We’ll see. It all depends on you.

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Someone sent this picture into me and Perez Hilton was CCed on the email. So I decided to post it, even though I have no idea who this girl is. It said “Meth Does A Body Good” which is true for a fat chick like this. I think she looks a lot better now, she got rid of her gunt, so whatever she took, she did good.

PS Her name is Amy Winehouse – This is what Zini had to say about her:

I’m watching a documentary about a festival on tv. There’s a filthy looking hippy with dreadlocks. He’s explaining to the film-maker that he is making tea inside the dance tent. He says, “I don’t see why I should be deprived of my favourite beverage… you know… just because… I’m like… in a club.”

Jesus,

what? you don’t know who Winehouse is? She got the bomb track with Ghostface innit. Yeah yeah she was pissed up rotten on Jools Holland man it was sensational. She’s fresh. And she’s a sexy jew.

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