I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Archive for the Unsorted Category

2006

12

Sep

I am – Javine is a Slag I’ve Never Heard of…of the Day

javineTOP.jpg

This is proof that all it takes to get posted on my site is for you to walk around in a mesh top with a bra/nipple exposed. I have no idea who this british dirtbag is, but I am guessing she’s semi-famous there because she’s on the paparazzi message boards. Either way, I am keeping with my UK theme of the day from Lohan in London, to Beckham in NYC and some no-name Lady Isabella to this. The site’s going down the sewer, something the British never had until recently, toilets used to be buckets in the corner of their bedroom and that’s all I have to say about that.

On a side-note, I fucking hate the pot smoking culture. You smoke pot, we get it. There’s nothing more obnoxious than head shops, decorative bongs, or people with pictures of themselves with bud on myspace. I have nothing against smoking or drugs and I like to think I encourage all forms of drug use, I just have something against people trying to show it off to come across as being “cool” or because they have nothing going on in their lives. There’s nothing wrong with identifying yourself as a drug user, but when it becomes all you talk about – it gets boring..especially when your stories start of like this “I smoked 8 joints, drank 14 beers and ripped a 40 bag it was so crazy….” I don’t care about how many lines it took you to do whatever it is that you did…I just want to see the pictures of the girls who you got in mesh shirts/showing off their nipples and their bras like this cunt Javine.

If that wasn’t enough post for you, here’s the weirdest stepCOMMENT of the day….

Interesting, but navigation system is a little bit confusing
DonÂ’t walk behind me, I may not lead. DonÂ’t walk in front of me, I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.
Take care of it and keep it on the road!
Interesting, but navigation system is a little bit confusing
This is a cool site! Thanks and wish you better luck! Brilliant but simple idea.

Here are some Pot Myspace Profile that I hate:

Miss Hightimes 2006
GO

NORML – National Organization of Reformed Marijuana Laws
GO

420 Bros Make Decorative Bongs
GO

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

12

Sep

I am – Javine is a Slag I've Never Heard of…of the Day

javineTOP.jpg

This is proof that all it takes to get posted on my site is for you to walk around in a mesh top with a bra/nipple exposed. I have no idea who this british dirtbag is, but I am guessing she’s semi-famous there because she’s on the paparazzi message boards. Either way, I am keeping with my UK theme of the day from Lohan in London, to Beckham in NYC and some no-name Lady Isabella to this. The site’s going down the sewer, something the British never had until recently, toilets used to be buckets in the corner of their bedroom and that’s all I have to say about that.

On a side-note, I fucking hate the pot smoking culture. You smoke pot, we get it. There’s nothing more obnoxious than head shops, decorative bongs, or people with pictures of themselves with bud on myspace. I have nothing against smoking or drugs and I like to think I encourage all forms of drug use, I just have something against people trying to show it off to come across as being “cool” or because they have nothing going on in their lives. There’s nothing wrong with identifying yourself as a drug user, but when it becomes all you talk about – it gets boring..especially when your stories start of like this “I smoked 8 joints, drank 14 beers and ripped a 40 bag it was so crazy….” I don’t care about how many lines it took you to do whatever it is that you did…I just want to see the pictures of the girls who you got in mesh shirts/showing off their nipples and their bras like this cunt Javine.

If that wasn’t enough post for you, here’s the weirdest stepCOMMENT of the day….

Interesting, but navigation system is a little bit confusing
Don?t walk behind me, I may not lead. Don?t walk in front of me, I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.
Take care of it and keep it on the road!
Interesting, but navigation system is a little bit confusing
This is a cool site! Thanks and wish you better luck! Brilliant but simple idea.

Here are some Pot Myspace Profile that I hate:

Miss Hightimes 2006
GO

NORML – National Organization of Reformed Marijuana Laws
GO

420 Bros Make Decorative Bongs
GO

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

12

Sep

I am – Lady Isabella Harvey's Legs of the Day

So I am posting pictures of some random UK Socialite who was on some UK Reality TV show called Celebrity Love Island. The reason I am posting her pictures are to compliment this amazing email that I got:

Dear Jesus,

I figure you are the only one I can talk to about this as you are the dirtiest motherfucker out there and even you wont judge me for this. Anyway as a kid I never knew my mother she ran off when I was 3 and never told us where she went, So my Dad raised me he was pretty cool and tought me everything I know.

I’ve had this girl that I’ve been fucking for about a year we will call her Annie she is real hot. This girl loves me but she isnt really girlfriend material although I dont think any woman is at this point, a great lay none the less. I have fucked this girl every way you can think of; she is ultra dirty. she lives in the same apartment building as me which makes it even more convenient.

One night I went home and ran into annie in the hall. She was more than willing to have me over. After fucking the life out of her she passed out. I decided to take a look around her place, because I had only been there a few times. We usually hooked up at my place because she had a roomate. Anyway, I went to her vanity and looked at some pictures.

I saw one of her family and moved in for a closer look and there in the picture giving her a big hug was her mother who also happened to be that bitch of whore who looked a lot like my deadbeat mother, I had a double take for a moment but I could never forget what she looked like, I mean she was older but it was definatly her. You can imagine the shock that just came over me at this point. Not only had I found my long lost mother who I have hated for leaving us but I also just fucked the shit out of my sister. As you can imagine I had some conflicting emotions. I picked up my gear and went back to my place to drink myself stupid.

I didnt know what to do about this I felt like a piece of garbage. But in the midst of all that self hatred I was suddenly hit with a fantastic idea. The best idea Ive ever had.

So, the next day I went to see Annie and asked if she wanted to go on a date, she looked confused at first as I had always avoided doing anything with that didnt invole my penis. I swore I was serious she was excited to say the least. A few weeks down the line she brought me to meet her family, Are you starting to catch on, I went into her house I wasnt sure if Mom would recognize me. When I walked in I introduced myself and she looked at me funny, she mentioned that I did look familiar but Im sure she couldnt place it.
As the night went on and I told her family more and more about me and my family Mom screamed out and there was a silence in the room. She looked right at me and asked me my last name. I told her with a big smile, her face dropped but she didnt say anything at that time. Later that night she confronted me in the kitchen. I simply laughed at her and told her if she didnt want her new family to know the truth she would have to pay in the meantime I would break off my relationship with her daughter/my sister haha. she agreed, since then I have paid off all my school loans and bought a new car. Last month I decided she put more hurt on me as a kid so I sent childhood pictures of myself with Mom to her whole family with a letter explaining what had happened.

I knew you the stepfather could appreciate this story.
Vic

See I figured I needed to post pictures of known groups of incestuous people, like the Royal Family and the Jews. I realize now that being a Lady doesn’t make you part of the Royal family – so all this makes really no sense. I hope you read that email. It was a good fucking story by my standards, and I have no standards. Cuddles.

Bonus – Same Bitch at the Airport. Her 5 minutes are up:

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

12

Sep

I am – Lady Isabella Harvey’s Legs of the Day

So I am posting pictures of some random UK Socialite who was on some UK Reality TV show called Celebrity Love Island. The reason I am posting her pictures are to compliment this amazing email that I got:

Dear Jesus,

I figure you are the only one I can talk to about this as you are the dirtiest motherfucker out there and even you wont judge me for this. Anyway as a kid I never knew my mother she ran off when I was 3 and never told us where she went, So my Dad raised me he was pretty cool and tought me everything I know.

I’ve had this girl that I’ve been fucking for about a year we will call her Annie she is real hot. This girl loves me but she isnt really girlfriend material although I dont think any woman is at this point, a great lay none the less. I have fucked this girl every way you can think of; she is ultra dirty. she lives in the same apartment building as me which makes it even more convenient.

One night I went home and ran into annie in the hall. She was more than willing to have me over. After fucking the life out of her she passed out. I decided to take a look around her place, because I had only been there a few times. We usually hooked up at my place because she had a roomate. Anyway, I went to her vanity and looked at some pictures.

I saw one of her family and moved in for a closer look and there in the picture giving her a big hug was her mother who also happened to be that bitch of whore who looked a lot like my deadbeat mother, I had a double take for a moment but I could never forget what she looked like, I mean she was older but it was definatly her. You can imagine the shock that just came over me at this point. Not only had I found my long lost mother who I have hated for leaving us but I also just fucked the shit out of my sister. As you can imagine I had some conflicting emotions. I picked up my gear and went back to my place to drink myself stupid.

I didnt know what to do about this I felt like a piece of garbage. But in the midst of all that self hatred I was suddenly hit with a fantastic idea. The best idea Ive ever had.

So, the next day I went to see Annie and asked if she wanted to go on a date, she looked confused at first as I had always avoided doing anything with that didnt invole my penis. I swore I was serious she was excited to say the least. A few weeks down the line she brought me to meet her family, Are you starting to catch on, I went into her house I wasnt sure if Mom would recognize me. When I walked in I introduced myself and she looked at me funny, she mentioned that I did look familiar but Im sure she couldnt place it.
As the night went on and I told her family more and more about me and my family Mom screamed out and there was a silence in the room. She looked right at me and asked me my last name. I told her with a big smile, her face dropped but she didnt say anything at that time. Later that night she confronted me in the kitchen. I simply laughed at her and told her if she didnt want her new family to know the truth she would have to pay in the meantime I would break off my relationship with her daughter/my sister haha. she agreed, since then I have paid off all my school loans and bought a new car. Last month I decided she put more hurt on me as a kid so I sent childhood pictures of myself with Mom to her whole family with a letter explaining what had happened.

I knew you the stepfather could appreciate this story.
Vic

See I figured I needed to post pictures of known groups of incestuous people, like the Royal Family and the Jews. I realize now that being a Lady doesn’t make you part of the Royal family – so all this makes really no sense. I hope you read that email. It was a good fucking story by my standards, and I have no standards. Cuddles.

Bonus – Same Bitch at the Airport. Her 5 minutes are up:

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

12

Sep

I am – Victoria Beckham in NYC of the Day

victoriabeckhamTOP.jpg

I posted on David Beckham’s Mistress Yesterday Now I will Post His Wife: I don’t really give a fuck about UK celebrities, or any celebrities for that matter, I post this shit to get traffic, but there’s something about Posh spice that I can’t get enough of. I think it’s funny to see a Spice Girl 6 years after I used to rub one out to the “I tell you what I want, What I really really want” Video. That was before the fat wife and before the impotency. Speaking of not fucking your wife, this bitch married a homosexual to help cover-up his homosexuality, had his babies through artificial insemination because gays are scared of babies and box, in exchange for fame and fortune and a life of luxury that will last much longer than her SpiceMoney. The arrogance in her strut proves that she knows she will never have to pretend to sing shitty songs again and all she has to do for work is help some national soccer hero keep up appearance.

I know everyone out there rips into bitch for being a skeleton or an alien and I am sure lame bloggers like Trerez Pinkilton is the New I Take It Up the Ass Raw Dog While on a Crystal Meth Binge have some lame nickname for her like they Brangelina, Vaughiston and Bennifer but I am out of the loop on gay celebrity blogger cliches. So I’ll just call her sunshine face of love.

Speaking of terms of endearment, this is the myspace message I’ve been sending out to girls lately:

Body: Dear ___________,
You’re ___________ to me–there’s no one quite like you. You’re the one I _____, the one I want to ________. I give you my _______, and I ________ you so much. Give me your sweet _________; fill me with your wonderful _______; soothe my aching _______; and _______ me through the night. The mere sound of your voice summons deep ________ within Like an old familiar ________ like the comfort of a _______. When you’re near, I’m lost to thoughts of ______ as you touch me with a _______ that’s as grand as stars above. I want to hold your _____. I hunger for your ______. Offer me sweet tidings of true love’s tender bliss. I promise our _______ shall _____, carried on the wings of a ______. So give me your _______, and bless me with your _____.

With Love,
Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

It hasn’t been getting any responses….

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

12

Sep

I am – Lohan Upskirt Flashing Her Vagina of the Day

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I started smoking cheap cigars, because cheap is what I do and I was tired of craving cigarettes. I haven’t smoked in 10 months and think about it at least 5 times a day, every day. I don’t inhale these things, but the act of smoking relaxes me. That doesn’t mean I like sucking cock. I also drank a bottle of wine tonight because I like to pretend I am living large. After a sobering walk I came home and told one of my stepdaughters about my sex life before her fat mother destroyed my sex drive with her cellulite-ridden ass. I don’t think she appreciated the story of the 19 year old who I drank a 40 oz bottle of rum with and the proceeded to teach how to strip to her mix DJ tape. This was about 10 years ago. After an hour of her running around my house with her panties off and the last of the rum was consumed, I told her it was lap dance time. When she started grinding me and shovin’ her ass in my face, I couldn’t resist diving in mouth first. So the lesson of the day is that honesty is more effective with a little discretion….especially when talking to your stepdaughter about getting underage girls (in the USA) drunk and teaching them how to be strippers. Speaking of 19 year old drunken stripping whores, here are some pictures of Lohan showing a tight-upskirt in the UK where she leaves a restaurant called Cipriani to go to a club called Kabaret, where she proceeded to get drunk, high and pregnant with an AIDS baby that she’s going to give to Angelina Jolie, because Angelina likes Aids babies and Lohan has Aids, at least that’s the story I heard.

Yes – She’s wearing Panties this time.

BONUS – NEW BOX SHOT

Posted in:flash|Lindsay Lohan|Uncategorized|Unsorted|Upskirt|Vagina

2006

12

Sep

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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I tried doing my laundry today, not that I have that much because of the whole being poor and a slob thing, but there is always a time when the stink of my own dirty clothes annoys me as I type and my wife’s not about to get off her ass to wash my shit, she can barely get to the bathroom to take a shit and there’s nothing worse than sitting at the computer and being able to smell your feet, ass and balls. Either way, I brought my shit to the laundry room in the piece of shit building I live in, I put in a load and when I went back down I saw a pair of boxers lying on the ground. I figured they were mine and threw them in the dryer with my other clothes. When It came to taking my shit out of the my dryer and folding it, I pulled out the underwear and realized that they weren’t mine a they were covered in shit, actual shit. That means I picked up a pair of shit covered underwear with my bare hands, underwear that belonged to someone other than me and threw them in the dryer with my clean clothes because I am a fucking idiot. All my clothes were covered in some random dude’s shit. Thanks to the dryer, it was cooked on and I had to wash my clothes again and now I am out $3 and this story isn’t that interesting, like most of my stories and my links of the day…I suck at life but at least Oprah is talking about donuts. Seems kind of appropriate. Now, Click Thems Links.

If you want to get something linked email me….I link everything.


stepMUSIC – K’Naan: Strugglin’
GO

The Craigslist Experiment is genius, I would have done it if I wasn’t so lazy.
GO

Here are the Responses from the Craigslist Experiment – AMAZING
GO

PETA Makes a Funny Statement About Steve Irwin
GO

IRC means Inter-Racial Couple – of the Day
GO

Some Lesbionic Naked Girls
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Brooke Shields Picks her Nose and Eats It
GO

stepREADER of the Day
GO

Ellen and Milly Get Interviewed – Sluts
GO

Some More Lookin’ Good Sweetheart Pics
GO

Some Youtube Slag Sucking a Lolly
GO

She’s Naked and I don’t Really Love It…
GO

What News Corp Doesn’t Know About Myspace Article
GO

HIV Sevigny Shows a Little Panty at Fashion Week
GO

Some Slag Suckin Down a Drumstick on Youtube.
GO

Hot or Not: Masiela Lusha
GO

Wheelchair Races Are Funny
GO

A Myspace Upskirt Pic
GO

I tried Buying this Car for $500. I don’t Have $500
GO

Tom Cruise and His Fat Wife with Fans at a Soccer Game
GO

Steph Seymore has the stepOUTFIT of the Day
GO

September 11th Memorial Jenga
GO

Hulk Hogan’s Car Blows Up
GO

More Drunk Teens Dancing In Shorts
GO

Hardcore Barbie Girl Dance in Panties
GO

Scarlett Johansson at Venice Film Festival
GO

Forbidden’s Playboy Party on Flickr
GO

Hot Heidi Klum Photoshoot Video
GO

Some B-Boys Dancing a Fool
GO

The Fake Forbidden on Myspace but Still a Slut
GO

Drunk Teenage Girls in their Panties Dancing
GO

Perez Hilton Does Toronto Film Fest and Gets Interviewed
GO

Drunk Girls Rockin Out in Their Pyjama Pants
GO

Lohan’s Upskirt Pic – Modified by a Lesbian
GO

Abbey Diaz Video – She’s a Latina Teen Model
GO

Kate Moss’ Agent Provocateur Video
GO

Buy a T-Shirt in Honor of Sept 11th and Daniel Nicole Smith RIP
GO

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

11

Sep

I am – stepMUSIC of the Day: K'Naan – Strugglin'

Click on the PLAY button. Or, RIGHT CLICK here and SAVE AS to your computer, and then OPEN after the download completes.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

11

Sep

I am – stepMUSIC of the Day: K’Naan – Strugglin’

Click on the PLAY button. Or, RIGHT CLICK here and SAVE AS to your computer, and then OPEN after the download completes.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

11

Sep

I am – Anna Nicole Smith’s Son Commits Suicide of the Day

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In Loving Memory

DANIEL WAYNE SMITH
1/22/1986 – 9/10/2006

On September 7th Anna Nicole gave birth to a healthy 6 pound, 9 ounce baby girl. Her son Daniel was in the Bahamas with her to share in the joy of his baby sister when he passed away suddenly on the morning of September 10th. We have yet to learn the cause of death but do not believe that drugs or alcohol were a factor. Anna Nicole is absolutely devastated by the loss of her son. He was her pride and joy and an amazing human being. Please do not make any press inquiries at this time so that Anna Nicole can grieve in peace.

Anna Nicole Smith’s 20 year old son died mysteriously. It is assumed that it was suicide. It’s a tragedy even if the bitch is too medicated to realize that the son who’s father she only met once and who she neglected his entire life when marrying 90 year old billionaires and posing for playboy is dead. I can go on all day ripping into this bitch, but won’t cuz death is sad, but I am not gonna lie when I say that it looks like Corky used to like watching mommy shower / breast feed/ sleep / rock out in a bikini / spill water on herself / if you know what I mean…..and it’s not technically incest fantasy if he never knew her as his mother when growing up, if she was just that slag from Playboy that she was to the rest of us. It must of been a shocker the day they were reunited and he realized that he had been rubbin one out to her for the last 4 years of his life…..

Mung sent in another post about this and I decided to post it because it means less work for me and being who I am, less work makes me happy and by happy, I mean a little less depressed than usual. I know that none of you actually read this site anyway, so I could be posting erotic fag stories and no one would know the difference. Mung is wasting his time but seeing as he’s into wasting of time and erotic fag stories, I am going to post this for him, leave comments and start a war. Cuddles.

Alright you fuckheads. I better bring my fucking “A-game” this time because you fucking assholes depressed the fuck out of me this weekend. I try to write posts for you guys and you just tear it apart because you say they are too long. You guys made me extremely sad because it has always been my lifelong goal to become a douchebag who reads a shitty website and does a daily post that losers can read because they have nothing else to do with their pathetic lives. You made me contemplate suicide a few times this weekend, but I realized I would probably fuck it up just like everything else I do in my life. This is my second post and it probably won’t get posted because it sucks more than the first one but it’s shorter to just appease the masses that visit this website on a daily basis.

Due to my suicide contemplation this weekend I decided to dedicate this pathetic post to Anna Nicole Smith’s son who died on the weekend according to her website.

They think it may be caused from excessive alcohol abuse or drug abuse. My guess is he killed himself because Anna Nicole Smith was his mom. Having her as a mother would be pretty terrible. If people in your school or on your sports team knew that she was your mom they would probably stone you to death or pistol whip the fuck out of you just being the son of a useless cunt.

MUNG

PS – Just because I post this, doesn’t mean I think it’s good.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted