Virgin Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2009

06

May

Susan Boyle, We Get It, You Want Cock of the Day

So this 50 year old virgin who recently found fame is trying to take advantage of the paparazzi taking a sudden interest in her to let the world know that she’s ready to dust off her cunt and stick some lucky dick in it and by lucky dick, I mean the first one that comes her way, you know how it is, because not having sex is something you can seriously relate to.

Some porn producer needs to offer her a lot of money to do a sex tape, I’ve always wanted to see a bitch lose her virginity, I just always get stuck with the sluts/whores.

So here she is with her fly half down, doing have the work for you, all she needs is a fucking erection to jack her shit up. I am willing to volunteer my services, because I feel she won’t judge my shitty performance, she’ll just be happy to be there, at least until 6-8 weeks come around and she’s gotta deal with the aftermath of dirty cock and the lesson that everyone will learn is that just cuz you’re a virgin in menopause doesn’t mean you shouldn’t use condoms no matter how convincing I am when we’re about to fuck.

Posted in:Susan Boyle|Virgin

2009

30

Apr

Susan Boyle Shows Off her Hot Virgin Feet and her Hot Virgin Lingerie of the Day

11 Comments »

If you wonder what hot virgin pussy wears to bed, here’s a glimpse into her most intimate of outfits. If you’re wondering why a virgin stays a fuckin virgin, look at her fucking feet and I guess in her defense, she’s fucking scary looking, so a mangled foot probably has only fractionaly impact on why that pussy hasn’t seen light, but a mangled foot is probably a nice glimpse into what type of condition that untouched twat is like and the whole thing is just too hot for me to handle.

Posted in:Susan Boyle|Virgin

2009

27

Apr

Virgin of the Day

6 Comments »

If you read this site you know that I have a thing for virgins, at least in theory. I like the fact that they are clean and have never had a dick in them, there’s something hot about that, but I’ve never actually been with a virgin, I have never wanted to be a girls first, and from everyone I talk to, it is a miserable fucking experience.

Whenever I drop virgin jokes, people give me dirty looks, like I want to go fuck their 12 year old daughter type looks, but that’s not true. Virgins come in all shapes and sizes and here’s the hottest virgins right now, she has one of the top Youtube videos, her name is Susan Boyle….with nipples like that I don’t believe that she’s never been kissed…I’d like to change that…with my dick…

Posted in:Susan Boyle|Virgin

2009

21

Apr

Stupid Fucking Story about a Christian Virgin of the Day

4 Comments »

Here’s a stupid fucking story about a Christian virgin and strippers…

Devout Christian Dave Dragas has landed a job at a lap-dance club – despite never having bed a woman. The 26-year-old, who doesn’t believe in sex before marriage, is propositioned by naked beauties every night. He even keeps a bible in his desk at the club where he works managing lap-dancers. But he must have the willpower of a saint because he’s never once been tempted. The virgin admitted that it took him six months to break the news to his dad, who refuses to accept his job. But he said his £35,000 a year job at Secrets club in Euston, London, will give him enough cash to provide for a family one day.

Maybe he isn’t fucking them because they are fucking ugly and as manager, dude’s first task should be getting new girls, just as soon as he’s done showing off to his his bosses who pay him 70k a year, how much of an asset he is to them through the publcity they are gettinf for this shit story.

The truth is, I am sure you have a lot more interesting stories about your virginity and strippers but here are the pictures to go with the story anyway….

Posted in:Christian|strippers|Virgin

2008

04

Nov

Natalie Dylan The Sex Expert Selling her Virginity Interview of the Day

4 Comments »

So this weird intellectual virgin, who studied sexology and claims to be a virgin and has passed a few tests proving she’s a virgin who despite being so well-versed on the sociology, psychology and everything else about sex, making her a total sex nerd, has decided to get hands on in her thesis by selling her virginity. Now, I’m not a snob, I don’t think selling sex is something to be looked down upon, I figure she’s got something worth money, she might as well sell it. If anything, i hate girls who put so much importance on their virginity that they don’t put out on the first date, and end up being 22 years old and still a virgin because their dreams of some romantic novel, never came to, so instead of just fuckin’ a random for free she might as well get paid, the same logic all whores have, only to make it seem okay to herself, she pretends it’s a social experiment that will get her into her post-graduate program of choice since she’s the human guinea pig, with a couple million dollars in the bank.

I am posting this because I love the old dude who is bidding on her. He’s 60, has always wanted to have a virgin and wants to teach her the ropes after talking to her, taking her to the park and all other things to make this union not seem creepy as shit.

This brings up 2 questions, the first is what his family and friends are thinking about their nice neighbor and buddy Lee, who they thought was totally normal, talking about banging young virgins like his fantasy isn’t creepy as shit and the other is whether this whore in training is going to pay tax on this shit, because if not, I suggest all you virgins get up on this shit. Sure, this story may not be all that fresh, but her pussy is supposed to be, so it gets a post.

Posted in:Natalie Dylan|Virgin

2008

29

Aug

Pam Anderson is Dressed In Tight White Pants of the Day

5 Comments »

Pam Anderson is wearing all white like the virgin she wishes she was, because if she was a virgin she wouldn’t be dying of hepatitis. Despite lookin like a ravaged ex porn star with a major drug addiction, no money and skin that has enough cum embedded in the hard to reach ance scars and wrinkles that sneezing on a chick can get her pregnant, she still has a pretty hot body, if you’re into skinny girls with big fat tits, which pretty much everyone is, even if shit is on someone who looks old enough to be your grandmother, which is all part of the reason I liked working my orderly job at the old folks home, those bitches were so frail and horny that if you put the catheter in proper they’d gasp in pleasure, something that gave me lots of masturbation content, kinda like Pam Anderson has done for you, pretty much making her a modern day hero in your life, so enjoy.