Dress code at my office is as slutty as possible Seriously…I’m naked right now… Can’t get more slutty than naked… I mean I guess I could start sticking things in my ass, hoping for a prostate orgasm, but I was never into that…but that’d be way sluttier than just naked… I dress slutty to set […]

Trying to get girls to send you videos of them fucking their boyfriends or husbands, even ex husbands or ex boyfriends, has proven to be a challenge, because I guess sharing intimate moments, like having sex, is not quite like sending intimate moments like masturbation, and instead of being tease, is amateur porn, and no […]

Twas the Night Before Christmas Eve and everyone is fucking crazy. I saw at least 3 road rage incidents, and I haven’t even left my couch….because for some, mainly poor people, Christmas is depressing as fuck…while the rich people just medicate. Statistically, at least one of you will commit suicide this season.. I’d like to […]

I love going to the stripclub this time of year. It is absolutely fucking depressing. To make things worse, or more amazing, depending how you look at it, I seek out the most bootleg strip club in town, you know the kind with pregnant dancers and three patrons, because they are the most desperate… Last […]

It turns out that your chances of touching a vagina are better when you don’t wait in line in costume to see the Star Wars movie like some retard buying into the hype of a fucking moving because your actual life is sad….. The chances of touching a vagina are also better when you don’t […]

It’s christmas so I didn’t tell the hooker I fuck that her vagina smells…I just say “you should shower, in case your vagina smells”…which is far more decent than the usual “did you shit inside your pussy”… I also didn’t cum in her mouth, in fact, I valiantly pushed her head out of the way […]